Indianna Briggs and The Temples Of Red Ants, Flat Tyres……and Sick!
Sunday, March 5th, 2006Cam eron Diaz bodia!
Cambodia was a great country the people here were amazingly friendly, always smiling and pretty funny as well, loads of cute kids trying to sell you useless stuff. Loads of brilliant animals just wandering onto roads such as Water Buffalo, pigs and cows getting beeped at by oncoming vehicles, before probably mumbling “moo-f*cks sake – oink” and trundling off to the side of the
road again.
Phnom Phen, the capital was an interesting place, went to the Killing Fields where thousands of cambodians were killed in mass genocide, their skulls, bones and clothes all piled high to serve as a reminder of an atrocity that should never be forgotten. The same day we visited a former school which was taken over by the Khymer Rouge (not the same as gay Moulin Rouge) and used
as a place of torture (perhaps the same as Moulin Rouge after all). Understanding the nature of these acts was extremely difficult given the lack of knowledge i had surrounding these years, yet you couldnt help but be overwhelmed after seing countless pictures of the murdered and testimonies from friends and families who literally saw loved ones vanish simply never to be seen again.
On a more lighter note February the 14th and Valentines Day. As i woke my heart was fluttering, this was an incredibly steamy day for me, mostly due to the fact it was 30 degrees by 9am. Unfortunately i had to call the police early doors as i opened myroom to find that someone had stolen all my valentines cards. Decided to take out my sorrow on an evil looking man made
of paper at the gun range! As we entered we were handed a menu with Coke, Fanta, AK47, Hand Grenade, 7-Up, Rocket Launcher, Tizer and Anti Aircraft Missiles on the menu. Rumours abound that for an additional $100 you could buy a cow, presumably the money going to the cows family. I opted for a cheap bond style Colt 45 and proceed to handle the weapon like an absolute retard before popping some caps off and discovering that i’d nailed ‘Mr Paper Bad Dude’ in the jugular and through the heart (how romantic!)
A mad session with 0 minutes sleep saw us hop on a bus only to be roused by BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, THUD and saw a cow wobbling in the middle of the road, with my sympathies to cows in Cambodia we landed in Siem Reap. Here they have huge, huge temples, as the sun rose above them and the murk and gloom lifted many people went ahhhhhhhhh, unfortunately this magical moment was lost on me as i want urgggghh and legged it off to the nearest tree to pay my respects with the contents of my stomach, ‘laughing sodding cow cheese baguette’ and all (the cows get their revenge!). I was on my way to bed quicker than you can say tuk tuk.
Decided to revisit the temples of doom and barf, this time on a crapped out bike, chatting with cambodian english students (minus the daft haircuts and top man clothes), i was in a great mood what could possibly go wrong this time……..
Had a good look around observing the monks dreaming of cold beer and hot birds before grabbing my bike only to see my front tyre was flatter than a pancake that had been sat on by 10 horses. As i hopelessly tried to fix it i was savaged by a nest of red ants who bit so hard they left blisters the size of watermelons. Sulking aside the temples were cool.
Did a couple of days voluntary work in some schools, in the vain hope that Angelina Jolie would show up, marvel at my deep soul, bin off Brad Armpit, and run away with me to heaven. As you approach the schools by rubbish push bike, the kids all run inside the classrooms before saying Hello teacher how are you today, you then have to tell them to sit down or they will just stay
stood up!
Taught some basic english and was amazed at how eager and attentive the kids were. On the 2nd day i was the new P.E.teacher in town, first up CRICKET! having all the knowledge of a goldfish suffering complete memory loss, i wasnt confident of producing another Freddie Flintoff. Pretended i knew how to ball and taught the kids useful phrases such as HOWZAT! (which may possibly useful when they work in the tourism industry ie. HOWZAT soup you’ve got there).
Played some football and taught them how to pass and how to say PASS, which would be ultimately useless in everyday life unless they appeared on Blockbusters and became stumped by Bob Holness! As i dictated play from the back the kids couldnt quite manage to say teacher instead calling me Cher! They were probably taking the pass as i wrapped in an O.G! thinking that i looked like the daft he/she singer sitting astride a cannon on a warship, whilst belting out ‘if i could turn back time i wouldve scored more goals’!
From one school to another then and as we left some schoolkids chased us on a bike, after they’d been calling me James Bond i thought they were just messing about so playfully fired imaginary bullets at their heads whilst making the PUEW, PUEW sound, 10 minutes later when they finally caught up we realised that they had the keys to the next school….whoops!
Arrived at the next school on my own and gave the kids some plates to draw on their favourite meals and write the words next it, five minutes later and they came up having just coloured in the plates, i persevered teaching them the alphabet, before realising that i was in the wrong classroom and these kids didnt even learn english yet! All in all a great experience, set in a beautiful country where cows wander in and out of football and dodgeball games!!
Right now i’m in Laos which is lazy heaven! Obviously i stand around tutting at the peoples complete lack of interest in anything resembling activity.
Hugs for the girls and playfights for the lads
Briggsy xxx
jamesbriggs11