Brasiliant
Monday, August 2nd, 2004Bom dia from Brasiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil,
Been ages since i plonked my white backside down for a lengthy mail, no real
excuse other than being a bit lazy. In that time we have been in 4
countries.
First there was the hedonism and crazy nights of Buenos Aires where we
encountered all sorts of deranged folk and permanently ruined our
bodyclocks. Most nights people go out at 3am (back in england i´d be safely
tucked up with a kebab on my face, fully clothed and with half a litre of
dribble on my pillow) and head back around 9 or 10 in the morning. One night
old Presco thought he´d fondle a young ladies backside safe amongst the
throngs of partygoers, in a flash said young lady was raining down blows on
Prescotts arms and shouting expletives at him. Hilarious. Then he tried to
apologise which resulted in a further volley of swear words. The boy has
charm! Other nights he stayed in saying it would be too dangerous to see how
the men reacted to such bottom caresses. More nights we went to Bum and Face
clubs (derum and bass), some weird tranny place (rumour has it that presc
was spotted clutching an application form)where ladies parts fell
seductively from their knickers.
Went to Pacha a few times which was absolutely class the hjighlight being
when we went out with this German girl who regrettably had her camera
stolen. She then proceeded to spend the next 30 minutes blamimg a midget
because she was the perfect size to steal it!!! as if the vertically
challenged people didn´t have it hard enough the next day was spent at the
police station with rants such as…. it vas ze midget, perfect height!!
Went to Bocas Juniors stadium situated next to the most polluted river in
the world, 7 out of 10 people who fall in there die!!! Prescott naturally
declined my offer for a Gladiators style joust match above the river.
Went to Uruguay for a day hired some scooters and recreated that adidas
advert for about 7 hours. Onto the road again with the usual fare of
warbling children, old ladies snoring through megaphones and leaking roofs.
In the morning quite deranged from the bus journey i bought a spiderman mask
and strolled thorugh the bus station. prescott chuckled everyone else looked
a bit scared.
Met some Argentinians who took us to the World rally championship in Cordoba
where cars drive very quickly next to drunk people on grass verges. Also
went to (Robert) Rosario where Che Guevre first lived its not all beer and
skittles you know). Then to Iguzu Falls perhaps the biggest waterfall in the
world ever. Imagine getting on a bus needing a wee with no toilet for 10
hours, then having that wee. Times that by about a million and your half way
there. Impressive. Took a boat ride underneath them which got us wet.
Prescott naturally tried to hide under seats, screamed like a girl and ended
up closing his eyes and whispering to me “tell me when its over”. Whilst
hear we ended up in a hairdressers and decided on some highlights when we
departed we had to double check the sign to make sure it didn´t say `Ginger
Wig Outlet´.
Then into Brasil where to some farm type place making me feel right at home.
Played loads of football saw the falls again before dropping intp Paruguay
for the day into a big maze of markets and the like which was cool except
people kept approaching Prescott and asking him if he was Malfoy from Harry
Potter or indeed the caddy from Happy Gilmore.
Then to Sao Paulo and Goiana and kipped in some Brazilian fellas house and
got lashed up big stylee. Just landed on the coast now for some serious sun
bathing (straight faces etc), the vest is out (they suit me, no really) the
flip flops are on. Tonight we go to a carnival which should be a cut above
the toffee apple, rain sodden, penny throwing affairs we have in England.
Right i´m off to get confused by Portuguese, buy a thong and soak up some
Ray (Meaghers) (Answers on a postcard as to who this much loved Home and
Away stalwart is)
Love J-Bo xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
jamesbriggs11