Canada to Patagonia at a Worrying Age

Please don`t feel the need to read this. I`m simply trying to trace the events with the insurance company in one document as I keep losing emails. Please refer to comment stream on the post below for suggestions of what to do to the sodding company. Fez has set the right tone, I feel. Thanks for sympathy all others.

From: Sarah Ball [mailto:sarahball@burnett.co.uk]
Sent: 25 January 2006 13:16
To:
Subject: Claim Form CA 06/000059

Claim Form Enclosed

Best Regards

Sarah Ball
Claims Administrator
Hi John,

Sarah is out of the office today so I am picking up her emails.

Please see the attached claim form and letter. If you could complete this
as fully as possible and sign that is the first step. You can either email
this back to me or fax on 02380 435 354 and I will start looking at your
claim but if you could also send a hard copy in the post that would be most
appreciated. We will also need to see a copy of the crime report and
original invoice for your laptop.

The process for this type of claim is to review your claim form along with
the crime report. If this all looks okay we will ask you to provide a quote
for a replacement machine at the closest spec to your original machine. We
will check this and authorise you to go ahead and purchase the replacement,
forwarding us the invoice and receipt. We will then be able to reimburse
you for the costs.

In regard to what is covered we will need you to provide values for the
added software etc and should your insurance value cover this we will be
able to reimburse for all.

Your reimbursement will be for full and final settlement and therefore your
policy will then be void, you will then need to take out a new policy to
cover your new machine.

I hope this answers your queries but do not hesitate to contact me should
you require anything further.

I look forward to receiving your claim form and aforementioned documents.

Best Regards

Hannah Lester
Administrator

Dear Mr Parry

Further to your recent contact with my colleague Hannah Lester regarding
your claim for your laptop, Hannah has asked me to contact you with regards
to
providing you with a quotation for your replacement notebook.

In order for me to provide you with a quotation, we will require you to
provide
us with the value of your new machine.

If you then, confirm that you would like to proceed with the quotation, we
will
require you to provide the make, model and serial number.

Should you have any queries please do not hesitate to contact me.

Burnett & Associates are authorised and regulated by the Financial Services
Authority.
The cover is provided by AXA (50%) & AM Trust (50%).

The above quotation is for Accidental Damage, Loss or Theft to the Computer
equipment up to the sum insured and has an Excess applied. In the case of
Portable equipment cover extends to anywhere in the World.
There are policy conditions, a specimen can be provided if required, however
full terms will be sent to you on inception of the Insurance.

The main exclusions are that Theft must be due to an actual break-in by
forcible means & portable equipment must be kept with you in transit.

The premium quoted is for 12 months cover & includes Insurance Premium Tax
at 5%.

You have the right to withdraw from this insurance contract within 14 days
from the inception of this policy, however, there will be a £5.00
Administration fee levied & we will require the Certificate if Insurance to
be returned to us immediately.

If you have any complaints, these will be dealt with by our Complaints
Manager at Burnetts, if this is not resolved to your satisfaction you may
also confer with the Insurance Ombudsman

Best Regards
Michelle

Michelle Veal
Sales Administrator
For and on behalf of Burnett & Associates PLC
Direct Line: 023 8042 5801
Email: michelleveal@burnett.co.uk

Dear Mr Parry

Thank you for your email.

I have passed the police report and claim form to Hannah Lester in our claims
department, for our claims department to continue dealing with your claim.

I have pleasure in providing you with a quotation for Laptop Insurance for your
replacement JVC Mininote Laptop at an annual premium of £100.00, which Includes
Insurance Premium Tax @ 5%.

This is based on a Nil Excess and based on the value of your Laptop at £1650.00,
which is portable equipment. The same conditions apply as per your current policy with Burnetts.

If you would like to proceed with cover we will require you to confirm the serial number, any change
to the approx. value provided and when you would like the cover to proceed. I understand from your email that you are still waiting
for this confirmation, so when you have this information, please forward this to me and
I can confirm cover.

Once I have confirmed cover payment can be made by Credit Card or Switch by calling with payment details on 02380 442227.
Payment MUST be received within 2 days of inception date to allow cover to remain in force.

Please find attached a copy of Our Terms of Business, Policy Summary and Our Guide to Laptop Security
for your reading.

Should you have any queries please do not hesitate to contact me.

Dear Mr Parry

In order for me to process your claim further I need a few more details from
you. How long were you in the cafe befor you noticed that your laptop had
been stolen? Did you see the person/s take your laptop? & what did the
waitres witness?.

I would be greatful if you could reply ASAP

Best Regards

Stuart James
For and on behalf of Burnett & Associates Plc
Claims Administrator
Direct Dial: 023 8042 5820
Fax: 02380 435354
E-Mail: stuartjames@burnett.co.uk
Web: www.burnett.co.uk

Hi Stuart,

I believe you are the fifth person from your office I`ve corresponded with now.
My auto address book is getting very full.

I`d say it was about 5 minutes from the guy whom I think stole my bag leaving
the cafe and me realising I no longer had it. He was long gone by that stage.
I`d been in the cafe about half an hour in total.

The waitress would have witnessed me arriving, me taking my travel guide out of
the bag and my reaction when I realised the bag was missing. She then got a
security guard for me and he helped me through the first phase of the police
report. The police took no statements other than mine and, even though I
volunteered a description, they did not seem too interested in taking such
details.

Hope this is enough. Hard copies are in the post.

Dear Mr. Parry

With regard to your claim, I write in reply to your email dated 30/01.

Firstly I apologise for you having to deal with many different people but
our aim is get all claims looked at as quickly as possible. Therefore the
details are picked up by the first available claims handler.

Having reviewed your claim, it is with regret, that I must advise you, that
the Underwriters are declining your claim on this occasion.

Under Exclusions, section 8b of the policy, it states that Theft is not
covered unless it is taken with actual or threatened force.

I can advise you that you policy will continue to run for the remainder of
the term and should you replace your equipment please advise us so that we
can change this on your schedule.

I am sorry that we are unable to help you with this claim, but if you have
any queries please do not hesitate to contact me.

Yours Sincerely

Justine Bailey
Claims Supervisor
For and on behalf of Burnett & Associates plc
Direct Dial: 02380 425808
Fax: 02380 435354
Email: justinebailey@burnett.co.uk

Sent: 01 February 2006 01:09
To: justinebailey@burnett.co.uk
Cc: Dermot.Murphy@trafford.gov.uk
Subject:

Dear Ms Bailey,

I understand the need for little jokes in the office from time-to-time in what must be a rather difficult and taxing job. However, after much this much correspondence with so many people at your organisation (and no hint of a refusal to accept liabilty), now is not the time for one.

I took out this insurance in good faith, over the internet, on the understanding that you were a professional and responsive company that understood the needs of people travelling with notebook computers. I have just travelled half the length of Chile to be where I said I would be to make preparations to receive the replacement which I cannot afford to pay for twice. That is why I took out insurance.

If there had been any indication that you were trying to evade your reponsibilities I would have travelled to Argentina by now. There are, of course, plenty of arguments to be had about attacking strangers (who may or may not be carrying weapons) in foreign countries (especially in South America) simply because they make you feel uncomfortable. I do not expect to have to have such a discussion with a firm that specialises ´Worldwide´ insurance.

So, joke over. Please make the necessary arrangements to have a replacement shipped as soon as possible. I expect confirmation of this by return email. I will check at 11am GMT.

Yours, not in jest,

John Parry

Dear Mr Parry

I have been passed your email of 1st February, which unfortunately means you
have another contact. We do take all our client’s complaints seriously hence
your file has been referred to me.

We insure many thousands of laptops, using reputable insurers and a standard
insurance industry policy cover. Having done this for many years, we believe
we offer a professional service.

You will appreciate any insurance policy is subject to terms and conditions
and a carte blanch cover would be prohibitively expensive and therefore
conditions are imposed to try and minimise losses by making the insured
responsible for taking reasonable care of the insured equipment. You will
appreciate a laptop computer is an expensive item and very attractive to a
thief.

We have corresponded with you to try and ascertain the full details of the
circumstances of the loss and will naturally try to obtain sufficient
information in order that an informed judgement may be made regarding the
claim as this has to be referred to the insurer if we feel the claim is not
covered under the terms of the policy.

I therefore apologise if it seems your claim seems to have gone back &
forth, but we wished to make sure we had sufficient detail as quickly as
possible in order to make our decision.

Unfortunately having referred your claim to Insurers they have advised that
under the terms of the policy this loss is not covered, as already advised
as there was no actual force or threat of force.

You advised the laptop was on your knee and as such we feel you should have
noticed it’s removal and taken immediate action (albeit we would not expect
any of our insured to place themselves in danger) but at least swift action
could be taken appropriate to the circumstances rather than a lengthy delay
allowing no recourse against the thief.

I regret to advise therefore that your insurers are maintaining that this
claim does not fall to be covered under the terms of your policy.

Should you wish to pursue the matter the complaints procedure is fully
detailed on your policy documentation.

Again , I apologise for being unable to assist with your claim on this
occasion

Best Regards

Garry Moore
For & on behalf of Burnett & Associates plc
Managing Director
Tel: 02380 442227
Fax: 02380 442210
Email: garrymoore@burnett.co.uk
Web: www.burnett.co.uk

Dear Garry Moore,

As you can imagine, I`ve been very disappointed by the reponses so far.
I can`t see any real use in delving into the complaints procedure at
this point, but if it helps to label this as a formal complaint, please
do so.

The points I make are these.

1) I could not possess the capacity to assess every person who seems
suspicious and acts in the way you describe while on a long tour of
South America. Have you any idea how many `suspicious` looking people
one sees on a journey such as this?

2) Whether I had realised 5 seconds or five minutes later, my reaction
would have been exactly the same. I would have stayed put and called
the police. I would not have tried to apprehend him or given the
impression that I was going to do so. The thief could easily have been
carrying a weapon. The question all my friends and family ask first is
“Are you all right?”. This is because they want to know if I have been
injured in any way. As far as I, and any right-thinking person, should
be concerned, one does not resist attack (and it was an attack) in any
way whatsoever. The simple fact that a thief feels confident enough to
steal a bag from directly off a 6ft 2in man implies a recourse to
potentially lethal violence.

3) The description of the thief was given to both the security guard
and the police within minutes of the event taking place. (“Five
minutes” is in any event a very simple shorthand for `soon after`.
There was no “lengthy delay” to which you refer.) The chances of
apprehending him were then, and remain now, slim. I did check some
second-hand PC shops (it will probably be the only Mininote in Chile),
but to no avail.

4) I am not suggesting carte blanch cover. I absolutely took
reasonable care to protect my belongings. The computer was on my
person in a bag with other items. In your note you seem to suggest
that I was parading the notebook down the street with a sign inviting
rogues to come look. The man who stole the PC did not know there was a
notebook inside. I can only imagine his wide-eyed look when he found
it.

So, I concealed the items, kept them on my person, reacted exactly the
same way any sane person would have when attacked (with no delay) and
reported all matters faithfully to the police and to you. I did all
this on the assumption that I was fully covered for such an event.
Having discussed the matter with a trading standards officer, it is my
belief that the Ombudsman will share my opinion that the insurers
should resolve this matter and replace the machine. Obviously such a
route would take so long that I would be back in England before it was
sorted out.

Therefore, only you, at this stage, are able to resolve this matter. I
am requesting that you do so urgently.

There is a chance that I can get a refurbished or reduced spec model
for less that the current liability. Will the insurers at least accept
this a compromise for now? The best price I can come up with is
£735.99 plus postage within UK, which is less than half that which I
believe to be the true liability. If the insurers can agree to this I
will arrange all the relevant upgrades and postage (about £340 so far)
myself and will conclude the matter.

Awaiting your response.

Yours sincerely,

John Parry

Sent: Fri, 3 Feb 2006 07:58:00 -0000
Subject: RE: Insurance Claim 24/01/2006 our reference CA06/000059

Dear Mr Parry

Your advices have been passed to Underwriters & I will reply as soon as I
hear from them.

Best Regards

Garry Moore
For & on behalf of Burnett & Associates plc
Managing Director
Tel: 02380 442227
Fax: 02380 442210
Email: garrymoore@burnett.co.uk

Thank you for that.

Any idea how long they will take to reply? Also, just who are my insurers/underwriters? With any luck I won`t need to know, but I might as well have their name in case of a negative reponse.

Mr Parry

Should only be a couple of days, so early next week.

Insurers are AXA & Amtrust (50% each) I’ll send a copy of the policy with the details if/when required

Best Regards

Garry Moore
For & on behalf of Burnett & Associates plc
Managing Director
Tel: 02380 442227

http://www.coined.com.ar/web-argentina/Register-Study-Abroad-Argentina/1-arg-special-offers-argentina.html

Did have a long and no doubt wry post prepared on the fun that is this area of the world. But I`ve had to spend the last hour trying to do insurance stuff. As such need to leave this cafe. Suffice to say I was being unfair to San Fernando. Turns out they had a fiesta planned for last night in the town`s other square (you know, the one behind the police station), and very good it was as well.

Bye

Next day.

Specialist Laptop insurance company refusing to pay out. May need people`s help on this fairly fast…

Desperate of Southern Chile…

OK – finally left Santiago today and utilising the advice of the woman in the Tourist Office, headed for San Fernando on the train. It`s important to remember that this woman was clearly mad. In fairness I suppose any small town will be dull on a Sunday (and it has livened up a bit post 6pm), but this is a one-horse, multi-stray dog joint. However, it does have an open bookies – the first I´ve seen in South America.

After a slightly worrying 45 minutes of trying to secure a bed I finally found one about one minute from the railway station. It`s 20 quid a night and some serious economising may well have to come into play now I`m in the expensive countries of the continent. Did consider putting my wedge on the 4.45 from Villarrica, but without Mike`s advice, there`s a danger I might have won, so didn`t bother.

Noticed that there were buses with `Centro` written on them. From where? Turns out the cemetary and the hospital were the destinations. The alive and healthy people here are lovely, though – generally very friendly and helpful.

Still, carry on moving south tomorrow – perhaps to finally catch up on some the famous Chilean landscape now I`m a way from limited visibility of the mountains around SdC.

Good to see United saw off the mighty Wolves, although tempered by L`pool`s lucky squeeze through.

I`ve had emails and now comments advising me not to moan. OK – it`s 30 degrees outside and I`ve not got work in the morning. Very, very happy about this. OK? And finally I`m approaching the place in the title. All good.

Finally, has anyone got a Motorola mobile phone tools disc that they could send to an address yet to be published? If so let me know. Would be useful for when I replace my notebook. Cheers.

(Today`s song is Tainted Love – Soft Cell`s version, simply because it`s on in this cafe and was a suitable blast from the past.)

Although, I shouldn’t be. Went on the fabulous funicular and cable car in Santiago today and I´m heading off down the coast tomorrow (although Chile´s pretty much all coast) and I did spend a mad little time in a bonkers club last night. So I´ll stop moaning – although John Lewis´decision not to stock my PC anymore, and hence not send me a relacement, is a pain. Will try to ensure something funny or interesting happens soon…

Very helpful at the ministry of justice. Everything went smoothly. Just thought you might like to know…

Next day – spending my life in internet cafes and phone shops. Would love to explore the city more, but insurance comes first.

On that pub John suggested – Everyone Knows The Dublin… They may do, but do they know it`s about 8 miles outside the city centre? To call it an Irish Pub would be an actionable matter under Trades`Descriptions in Britain. A bar with a vague Irish theme amongst many similar, one English, one French, one Cuban and one based on pirates! I escaped after not getting a pint of Guinness to a dive in town where a tramp insulted me to such a serious extent (I know not why), that the locals started giving me drinks out of their pitchers – such was their horror at what he had to say.

I often get insulted by tramps after robberies, you know.

Hope you`re all well.

PS – Song had to be Don`t Look Back in Anger by the scruffy Salford boys. Reason is it was on in Flannery`s the other day when the telly was unbelievably showing two games from Wembley I was at. The Charity Shield game when Ian Wright missed a penalty and Peter saved Seaman`s effort and the `94 semi against Oldham when Sparky scored in the last minute of extra-time. Remarkable.

The office I had to go to is in the ´burbs a couple of blocks from a stop on the very efficient Santiago Metro. The area is one of general law enforcement all crammed into one space just off a motorway. It became clear that the place I was looking for was near a huge building site. Could it be this place next door (i.e. about 50km in searing heat)? No, this would be the prison, with all the attendant lovely people outside waiting to deliver cakes with files in. No you can`t have a cigarette/money/new life, I`m looking for this sodding office. Oh it`s the other side of the motorway is it?

Over motorway – weather getting hotter. Surly garage man. No it`s the other side of the motorway. Back over we go `Hey Amigo can you give me all your possessions, I`m broke.`No.`

Surely it can`t actually be the building site? Oh yes it can. Just walk around it for twenty minutes, you`ll soon find where you need to be.

Hello, can I have the police report that was 10cm from my hand yesterday, please. A scene from seminal 70s sit-com, Mind Your Language ensued. Appropriate given the attitude of the building-site workmen to mujeres passing by. This included me being given a `wait-you-turn´ticket which I didn`t need because a very nice English-speaking woman had come to my rescue. However, in this office the possession of a ticket means service so we went through series 2 episode 4 of MYL just for old times sake.

When my friend returned it was to tell me, surprise surprise, that the report would not be there until tomorrow at the earliest – 3pm if I`m lucky. And here´s your crime number, written on a piece of paper so flimsy it might as well be my name on a grain of rice (hey, a good business idea). I´m copying it here in case a bee mistakes it for a grain of pollen and nicks it (0600062016-3).

OK, I`ll come back tomorrow. Yes, your lawyer will be able to see you then. Lawyer? Why do I need a lawyer. It´s the way we do things in Chile. Fine.

See my old prison-visiting friends on the way out. `Hey Amigo, can you please buy me a car for my ill baby?´or something. Who knows what will happen tomorrow. Me and my brief will no doubt hold a conference and then enact a scene from To Kill a Mockingbird in the neighbouring courthouse. That prison is uncomfortably close by the way.

Poor woman in the hotel tried to change my hotel room, from the one with the nice balcony to the one with a view of a lift shaft. Wrong day to ask, my dear.

Tried to track down a JVC Mininote in Santiago`s specialist importer of that firm`s gear. “No existe in Chile.” So that bloke has probably got the only sodding one in the country. Hope it breaks today. Haven`t bothered looking for Benq cameras or Vuarnet sunglasses as they definitely won`t be here, will go looking for replacements now.

Attempting to find the United game on a pub. Slim chance, but who knows…

Thanks for messages etc. I note there are no cash offers. Still, I´ll stuggle on.

Lots of love,

Mr Gringo Victim, January 2006

Note just in (thanks Vic) – “Their policy does not cover glasses or sunglasses.” That`ll be Atlas Insurance, everybody. A firm that specialises in long trip holiday insurance does not cover sunglasses. No surprise really, why would anyone take sunglasses on holiday? If anyone wants to ring them, say for half am hour, with the most complicated journey imaginable and then ask at the end, “And are my sunglasses covered?”, feel free to do so.

PS – turns out that the odd pic can be uploaded…

Guest Blog

From the manager of a certain parish centre who should probably know better…

“….here in Chester. The granny stabbers are lying low and United fans all over the city are grinning from ear to ear.

“But beating the binsdippers yesterday took the biscuit. Not much to choose between either side. Looneypool have no forward line, we have no midfield. Very evenly fought but Rio had two major contributions. Cleared one off the line and popped up in the 90th minute to head home from Giggsy’s free kick. You have probably read of Gary Neville’s reaction as I believe the inmates of Self Pity City (Murkydive) have tabled a UN resolution condemning his actions. (No mention of Fowler’s behaviour at the City of Stockport stadium last Saturday tho’!) The gobshites endeared themselves to one and all by trotting out songs about Bestie and Munich (when will they ever learn?). Unfortunately though, someone had the idea of letting the soap dodgers out at the same time as us. The lads took full opportunity to commiserate with those lovely cuddly mop tops in their defeat and the sound of slapping was heard all over OT’s forecourt. As you can guess though, they weren’t being slapped on the back. Shredded shell suits littered Sir Matt Busby Way on Sunday evening. Not that we condone this sort of behaviour………..ho ho!”

Also stuff about Celtic´s and Munster´s voctories the same weekend, but edited for reasons of upsetting Scousers only at this stage.

Cheers John,

Other guest blogs invited at this dull time – just off to test the limits of Chilean bureaucracy.

By the way – I´m now fairly clear that the thief was a member of the Pinochet clan. Most family members are now under investgation for ´tax evasion´- aah, the old Al Capone trap. That and syphilis.

Can´t believe I chose Safe European Home as yesterday´s tune.

Yes I´ve been robbed. Bloke was about 45, balding with a paunch – if you see him, kick him for me. For the first time on this trip I actually had my notebook out on the street with me, entirely lulled into a false sense of security by the apparent civility of the place and therefore checking for wi-fi compatible places.

My bag was on my knee under a table in a street cafe. Got to admire his panache, but if I was going to lose all my expensive posessions, I´d have preferred it to have been a street kid in Bolivia or Colombia, not some professional wearing a suit. Imagine him opening the bag. Camera, yes, sunglasses, yes, copy of Gulliver´s Travels, Mmm, $2,500 notebook. YES!

So until I get a replacement, I´m afraid these post will be rather short and with no pictures – much relief abounds, I´m sure.

People in the cafe were very nice, refusing payment and calling for a security guard who got me to the right police station. Only problem is, I have to go to another one tomorrow to get the report for my insurance. Also, I didn´t realise the camera was gone, so that will induce extra problems tomorrow when they think I´m an insurance fiddler.

So I´m a bit stuck here until all the paperwork is sorted. Also, I´m unlikely to find replacements anywhere other than here, so I might as well go shopping. It´s a pain though as shop assistants in expensive shops in SA tend to be very snobbish and they get on my wick. Still, here goes.

Good luck to all. The nice policeman infers that the song for today should be I Love A Man In Uniform by The Gang of Four. There were many other song titles with swearwords, but I think I´ll focus on the good stuff for today, and perhaps always. Here´s to a quiet night without a jukebox. Better get drunk.

I’m sure that when I left La Paz I was still in South America. It was all over the news. However, it’s now becoming clear that either I got on the wrong plane or, more likely, the pilot took a wrong turn somewhere.

The moment I arrived in so-called Santiago de Chile it was clear something was up. The airport was quiet and ordered with no taxi touts in evidence. I got a minibus to my hotel for the agreed price and the first traffic lights gave an immediate clue. No one beeped their horn in an effort to get the lights to change more quickly. There were no people selling sausages at these lights and no jugglers. Also, instead of half-built slums, there were estates of Barratt houses and car sales showrooms on the road in from the airport.

I looked in vain for indigenous people, folk selling second-hand batteries and shoe-shine boys. Their absence led me to one conclusion. I am now back in Europe, probably Madrid.

To further test the hypothesis I went out for a meal. I was given what I ordered in normal waiterly time and was able to finish the meal with a proper espresso. The bill came when I asked for it, not before I’d finished my starter or an hour after I’d finished my meal.

I went for a walk and was not the tallest person by far. There is no faint smell of urine (so it can’t be Peru). There are bookshops and pedestrian crossings and no filthy child beggars. All very confusing.

Contra-indications include Jesus statues on hillsides, the presence of Baptists and people collecting cardboard. Not enough though. The round hotel in which I’m staying was constructed in 1971, by the looks, and my bed has a mirror headboard with a sideboard which Vicky would, seriously, kill for. This could be a Gaudi creation, so perhaps it’s Barcelona, not Madrid. The bath works as a bath (and the water’s not brown) – highly unusual for South America. And, the clincher, there’s quilted toilet paper (which I do not need to put in a bucket when used).

Other matters – it’s hot. So the need for a vest is seriously diminished. We appear to be at sea level, or something like, so I can trot around the city like a spring chicken – with no danger of getting my entrails read.

So here I am somewhere in Spain. I look forward to receiving visitors.

Anyway, the song is obvious – Safe European Home, by Those Clash Boys. Which isn’t to say that I haven’t been anything other than safe in South America. New Ffrett song is Safe South American Home. Wrote it by myself, so all royalties to me – sod off Rick, Fez and the Ffrett chicks. This is going to be No 1.

Wondering why I can put up 3 posts in one hour. Wi-fi connection at the airport is the reason. Plus a half hour wait (and counting) for a sandwich.

Take off is at 4000m. We’ll have no need to climb any higher. Presume we’ll be skimming the ground for the first hour of a five hour flight. With two stops! Between neighbouring capitals! Where else does that happen?

Still, Santiago tonight with no accommodation booked. Wonder what will happen.

Evo’s on the telly again. Viva Bolivia!