The world according to K

25th 26th May

Photographs show me bathing elephants – various – plus the joys and beautiful moment at the waterfall when Geoff proposed to me…..and I said NO!

We had the most amazing two days at the RIver Kwai further North of Bangkok. Bird drove us all to the Bridge and the scenery was spectacular – green and lush- so nice to get fresh air .

We visted the most idyllic waterfalls you could ever imagine – where GEOFF – after knowing me for over 20 odd years finally -proposed to me- and I said no for obvious reasons. The fish here in the pools nibble your feet which is absolutely horrendous and terrifying – I lost it when I tried to go swimming here – bottle went – can’t bare anything nibbling my feet without me seeing it …….

Bridge over the River Kwai did not disappoint us- and then we headed to a place that was the highlight for me so far in Thailand.
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It was an elephant sanctuary where we could stay in a hut floating on the River Kwai- and next day we got up early to bathe the elephants

You are led to platform ( high ) where you climb on to the elephants bare back – with a 4 year old as driver behind you ( I exaggerate about 12 year old). It was nerve racking- and you hold onto the top of the head ( like grim death)- with their ears flapping hard against your knees- in Geoffs case giving him elephant burn.

After 20 minutes we finally made our way to the River- and then the elephants literally walk into the river ( which is dark murky brown – hapatitis attractive- scare)- right up to their neck – with you on top. It was unbelievable and great fun, They loved having their ears – neck head scrubbed- and rewarded you with a trunkful of water being squirted overhead back at you- ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. Oh yea – when the elphants get excited in the water – they POO- huge poos-great when you are also up to your neck in the water and that goes floating past – YUUUUUUUUUKKKKKK….we all showered – twice – afterwards….well some of us.

Photies show Various ones of me at huge gold Buddha , The Grand Plalace, Geoff and our Tour tout ( guide ) Nancy, Gemma and I on the long boat- mostly of me looking like a Virginia Wolf dressed as an orange

I arrived in Thailand on the 17th May- namely Bangkok. This was after a nightmare journey by plane – from Katmandu via Mumbai ( India ) on to Bangkok. India lived up to its true principles of complete and utter confusion – disorganisation and Chaos- so it was a shock to arrive at the brand new airport in Thailand- Surarnabhumi- to find complete calm- goregous surroundings – wonderful signage- and people who could tell you the answer to a question straight away.

An absolute change of culture. I stayed in a great little hotel on a road called the Phra Athrit- which is very arty and nice. Visted the Kao San Road which is hideous- – full of western travellers getting wasted- litter – and filthy.
This is the cheap digs area and I wasnt that desperate.

Still for 7 pound a night I had a double A/C room – own bathroom- hot water and the most important find HBO channel on TV.YEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAA!!!!! Luxuary.
It was a joy to just chill for a couple of days and watch TV – visit nice restauarants- eat off the stalls- get my laundry done and get a little pampered.

I had my hair cut and coloured ( disaster so now wearing a permanant head scarf) – plus I had a Thai massage. OMG Thai massage is nothing like any massage I have experience before. It is an art form here and many practitioners train at one of the temples. I was stretched – pummelled, bent over backwards- cracked – twisted- punched sat upon- feet forced against my back-causing grunts crying out and embaressing outburst from me -it was by no means relaxing more like a masochistic torture- but strangely pleasant.

Afterwards I felt absolutely fantastic – you definitely walk straighter after having it done.

I spent a few days chilling waiting for my friend Geoff to come over from UK. We all met up – with his friend Richard- and his boyfriend Bird- plus Geoffs Neice Gemma who also joined us. It was hysterical. When we went out everyone thought Geoff and I were a married couple out with our daughter Gemma.
We saw the most amazing Drag shows ( in the gay Siam quarter) it was enlightening. The Lady Boys here are truly truly gorgegous- I have never seen anything like it and no wonder so many sad lonely fat middle aged men are suckered into a situation where they actually think they are dating a beautiful Thai girl. Hysterical.

We also did the temples and sites in Bangkok- which is fantastic. Many thanks to Richard for paying for and booking us on a trip around the city- with the famous NANCY.
The Wats ( temples ) here all have different types of Buddha’s residing in them. We saw the Golden Buddha – The Reclining Buddha- The Emereld Buddha you name it we saw the Buddha.
The Reclining Gold Buddha is spectacular and huge- The Royal Palace amazing.

Afterwards the three of us took a river boat cruise ( just 3 of us on a long boat) where we saw the canals and village life of the Thai Village People who live at the waters edge.

Out here the scams are ingenious- we had to be force fed been taken to one tailors – one gem store – one shopping mall as part of the sightseeing trip – even though we told and repeatedly told Nancy our guide that we weren’t interested in buying anything- we still ended up there. Same with Tuk TuK drivers – they will never take you to where you want to go but will stop off at numerous gem stores for you to browse( none did that with me – told em straight).
More about rip offs and scams later

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