Spiders and Scorpions
Lago Atitlan is beautiful. Sarah´s pictures do not do it justice. The volcanoes are imposing towers of green overlooking the clearest water I have had the privilege to swim in. We spent a wonderful weekend eating at different restaurants around town, sipping Chilean wine while watching the sunset, and sleeping in a room with an impossible view (and the best shower and bed combo we´ve encountered in Guatemala). Paradise.
However, all the beauty and relaxation comes at a price.
I was warned about the first hidden cost of Lago beauty, and was therefore somewhat prepared. The spiders were weirdly flat creatures, so they sometimes seemed to blend into the wall. This made coming across them that much more frightening. Also, they stand still for days on end, until, for some unknown reason, they disappear. WHERE DO THEY GO? They´re absence is much more frightening than their presence, since one never knows where they might be lurking.
We had prepped for the spider eventuality, however, and Sarah was even brave enough to shoo a particularly large flat one out of our window last night. Bravo, Sarah, bravo.
This morning, for some reason, neither of us were prepared to face down the beast. A HUGE spider was waiting for us on our chair when we returned from the shower. Sarah said “oh look, it´s a spider.” I screamed. Then I looked at it and saw that it had 6 legs. What kind of spider has 6 legs? A fucking tough spider, that´s what kind. It had obviously survived several previous human attacks and had been left bitter and hungry for human blood.
We had to get Zil to come shoo it out the door for us. She is so tough. In the process, it lost ANOTHER leg. The severed leg is still on the door stop to the room, slowly decomposing.
We were both still coming down from our spider adrenaline rush while trying to pack our bags. Sarah was shaking out our clothes, God bless her. She approached the infamous chair, upon which our quick-dry towels were draped. She reached for the towel. She screamed. I screamed louder. She ran to the bed clutching her right hand. “Something stung me,” she cried.
I decided to be tough. “It was a bee,” I said. “I know because I heard it buzzing.”
A little white lie in a crisis never hurt anyone.
We took a few deep breaths huddled together on the bed. Everything was fine. I got Sarah some sting relief and started packing. I was now in charge of the quick-dry towels. I gingerly threw the top towel to the floor. Then I stomped on it. A lot. Nothing was crushed. I moved to the bottom towel and threw it to the ground. Before I could stomp on it,
A HUGE BLACK SCORPION WITH TWO PINCHERS SCURRIED BEHIND THE TRASH CAN.
I was done being tough. We both lost it. In fact, we lost it so hard core that two Mayan women who worked for the hotel came running to our door to see what was the matter. In the back of my head, I was thinking that if the scorpion had been dangerous, it´s sting would have hurt more. But that was far, far in the back of my head. The front of my head was inconsolable. Thankfully, the Mayan women were much calmer. They assured us that the scorpions on the lake were not dangerous and that the sting would hurt for only about 1/2 an hour. I was so glad we spoke Spanish in that moment. Sarah was quite fluent as well, repeating the phrase: “In the U.S. they’re really dangerous, really.” We were both trying to find an excuse for the fact that we were screaming like children. Then they scoured the room for the beast, matter of factly looking in every nook and cranny. They never found it. WHERE ON EARTH DO THEY GO!?
One of the women brought Sarah some alcohol (to help soothe the sting) and some sugar to eat (we’re not really sure why). The rest of the packing was done very carefully. I did a lot more shaking and a lot more stomping.
Anyway, to make a long story short (too late for that, eh?), we survived. We’re in Antigua, where man-eating spiders and scorpions would not dare rear their heads.
-Megan (with help from Sarah, who shooed a spider and was stung by a scorpion. What a gal.)
Tags: Guatemala, Health, Scary Bugs, Spiders, Travel
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Oh geez.
I wish I could still rock you in Nana’s chair and make it all better. You must have been sooo scared!
On the plus side, I’m happy to hear you’ve made it to Antigua and managed to get through this.
Thank God they’re not poisonous. If you want to get it checked out, I’d be happy to pay for the visit to the doctor. Whatever you think.
Megan, thanks for keeping us informed. I guess this didn’t abate your fear of spiders much.
Oy, what a day!
Love you both,
Dad
Good to hear that all is well now that you’ve moved out of spider-central.I don’t remember spiders being a way of life when I was In Guatemala, but maybe ignorance was bliss. Good to know that a spoonful of sugar made the medicine go down. Take care. Glad to know you’re back to enjoying the countryside. nrLove to you both.nrLinda
oh my god. that is my nightmare. i don’t know what i would have done in your situation. oh god, i’m shivering here. jesus, a scorpion?? i definitely would have lost it and ran screaming around the whole country.
congrats for being tough, sarah. for having more guts than i would have.
What can be said? that is a terrifying story! Horrible to think that while you were sleeping YOU WERE NOT ALONE… I’m not helping am I…? No, I don’t suppose I am not.
MISS YOU and love you and would like you both home with legs, arms, and heads intact, toes, fingers, ears and all.
mom
If any lingering fears are out there about the scorpion attack. I did a little web research and it is true, they are perfectly harmless down here. Not to fear. No doctor visits necessary. It didn´t really hurt that much… it actually felt exactly like a bee sting.
The rest of the weekend was LUXURIOUS. We did NOTHING but relax and eat and relax and eat. For my birthday Dad and Linda put us up on a BEAUTIFUL hotel (my favorite in the whole world I think) and we had a room that looked out over the lake. So, I if there ever was a place to make getting stung by a scorpion worth it, I think we found it.
-Sarah
Dearest Sarah. You poor little delicious creature. Delectable to the insect world (remember the bee sting on the rock in Maine and that chick plastering mud on you?), and delicious to ME. I read your tale outloud to Katie-Louise, who shrieked in all the appropriate places, then said that “sugar is for shock.” She says that in England you drink hot sweet tea when you are shocked. Which led me to the question: have I EVER met a shocked English person? Or are they all in such a perpetual state of shock that it seems normal? But that is beside the point. The point is, OH MY GOD. I am, of course, AGOG to know what G’ma the queen of the bugs will have to say about this particular adventure.
Meanwhile, “Doctors Without Borders” has just sent me free personalized mailing labels in an effort to get me to give them money, but they made a typo, and the mailing labels read DEATHANY SCHNEIDER.
What more can be said.
Except that I hope you are now through with your “creepy insects” portion of your adventure. Because it could have been worse! My friend Sam (also named Schneider, incidentally) had spiders lay eggs under the skin of his face while he was travelling down there; he gave birth to them in the emergency room of the Mayo Clinic. He was NOT a proud papa.
xoxoxooo
Deathany —
Where exactly was your friend… I´m not going there. EVER.
-Megan
You know, I have some pretty horrible spider stories from good ole’ Oklahoma, but I am choosing NOT to share them and concentrate rather on the FACT that scorpion spiders are not dangerous in Guatemala. And thank god that you were not paralyzed by fear (because Megan, you are there to conquer them, heh?) and that the mezzo saprano and alto screams attracted Mayan women with sugar. I mean, life is good.nrnrAll that said, I screamed myself when I read your blog and Mickey cried and barked. How dreadful and suspenceful you made the event!nrnrRight now i am listening to Elvis sing White Christmas, and am enjoying the cold weather now that the 12 inch snow has melted. Austen wll be here in 2 nights. I need a hug. I agree with Bill on this one. How nice it t’would be if you still melted in my lap while rocking and singing. … nrnrhold each other tight …for me. I love you.nrTulsa mom
Well, thats just weird. Whats with all the nrnr stuff on my reply? Originally they were paragraphs. oh well. ps It also misspelled soprano. Whats with this blog anyways?
perhaps, Deathany, you have met no shocked English people because they drink so much sweet hot tea? They are never shocked because they are always medicated against it. I need some sweet hot tea right now because of your entry. Deathany, please in future keep such horrifying disgusting stories, unrepeatable stories about other schneider’s spiders TO YOURSELF. I am SO GROSSED OUT right now I can hardly type. Like Jennifer, I need a hug – -and more, someone to rock and sing so that I can get YOUR ENTRY out of my head!!! nrrnrnrnrnrnr (the sound of me with fingers in my ears trying to forget about the Mayo clinic and trying to feel that Sarah and Megan will survive this trip.nrnrnrnrnrnrnrnrnrnrr!!!!!!!
Dearest sister. I know you cannot hear me because you have your fingers in your ears (a good defense against spiders — my pal Larry once had one climb into his ear, and when the doctor peered in she screamed and dropped her light . . . OOPS. Was that inappropriate? Or is it OK because his last name is Catera?). In any case, I deeply regret causing you and Jennifer any distress. Spiders are our friends. Finding spiders in your house means good luck in many cultures around the world. And some spiders are downright fluffy and snuggly. The Schneider egg-laying spider you wot of only found Sam’s face a good spawning ground because he rode his bike through her web at exactly the right moment. Apparently it almost never ever happens. Which is why he had to be flown to the Mayo Clinic. I will never ever mention spiders and clinics and egg-laying again. Never. No spiders, no clinics, no egg-laying. Ever. I promise. (hee hee hee)
Oh, dear! Where to begin? Bethany, that was truly naughty of you — the poor girls! And their poor Mamas and Papas, who may already have been imagining horrible things as their daughters wander off the face of the parents’ known world. I’m with Becca on this one.
However, I feel I have to speak slightly askew of all these horror stories about spiders! It may be because I have reached the age of hag-dom, which has always been associated with spiders — or grandmother-dom, which in some cultures is also associated (positively) with spiders — but I have to admit, shocking as it may be, that I like them. I have always liked them. I remember being five years old in a barn loft, watching for long times of quiet sitting, a very large yellow spider in the middle of her very large web. We were friends. I thought so then, and I still think so.
There are so few of the species that would harm a person, and those attack only when threatened. When you think about what we people do to animals and bugs, puh-leeze!
So you two precious people, what I hope for you is that you will find out in each place you stop just exactly what you have a reasonable right to fear. There sure are some of those things — rattlesnakes and copperheads where I grew up; black widow spiders where Peter grew up — and it is a very good idea to know their rules and abide by them. But — forgive me, I can’t find any way to say this without sounding horribly sappy — the huge majority are totally harmless little beings going about their daily lives with no interest in us whatever, and even when we hurt or kill them, there is nothing bad they can do to us. They are the helpless ones, not us. So if you can, the next time you meet a spider, shake it off or out gently. It just might be that God has eight legs!
God has 8 legs???? That’s one for a theologian to ponder…… Or is it 7 because one fell off in a Guatemalan doorway?….. (oops, that would be 5, at this point for that particular deity, no?)
anyway, I have some vague memory that spiders have 8 legs and…. something else has 6. Or is it the other way around? I’m on mom’s computer in Amherst and don’t know how to bring up a second explorer window on a Mac so I can google it without losing this window. I’m such an IBM luddite thanks to an ill-advised spiteful moment against a mac-obsessed ex years and years ago…. It was a stupid decision, I know, especially since it was that same ex who got the family going on macs to begin with. Sigh. But what does that have to do with Guatemala and spiders? Nada! I’ll check on the leg question and get back to you all with this vital information in a sec…..
Spiders/Scorpions/Spiders/Scorpions/Spiders/Scorpions
You girls are just experiencing real time “Intelligent Design”. In not the too distant future, Guatemalan spiders will not have only eight legs but ten or twelve. This new species will occupy only fine hotels, spas and possibly five star restaurants. I honestly don’t understand the concept of shooing spiders, especially when they are mortal enemies. Obviously if you were raised in Indian Territory you would simply squash the buggers. The six legged one reminded me of the Fighting Knight in Mel Brook’s “Robin Hood: Men in Tights”. He too kept loosing limbs throughout the movie until he also was finally shooed off stage. One last thought. Don’t Scorpions eat spiders? Guatemala must be a strange place where Spiders and Scorpions co exist. A peaceful place if you are not human.
Love DAD
PS: Megan I sent you a small package to your language school and wondered if it was received? If not I’ll get you another when you return to the US.
Oh my God!!!!!!!!!!
My lovelies: The menus and activities are planned for the next couple of days; we’ve struggled with the should we or should we not have prime rib; we’ve agreed on a church time and what we’ll have with pork pies Christmas morning. It just feels strange to have you so far away. I’m hoping you’re planning a Christmas Day to remember. Everyone in Tulsa misses & loves you.
….and everyone in Delray Beach, and Andover.
Happy Christmas, Feliz Navidad. Peace.
Much love to all. Even Deathany.
We´re both safe and sound in Livingstone, Guatemala trying not to melt in the heat.
-Megan & Sarah
ps. Dad, I didn´t receive the package you sent… Guatemala post is notoriously bad. Too bad… maybe my friend who´s headed back to Xela can pick it up for me.