I’d Love It If We Beat Them, Just Love It

Tom here.

Well what can I say Ghana have been celebrating all the wasy in this competition, i kew from the time we playeed korea in edinburgh we will do well and after a good win over USA we face Brazil, the only problem with that is they will be due to perhaps face france in the quaters.

As for France after a shaky start n the first 2 games, despite the fact based on chances we should have hammered Lena’s Korea by 10 we should show our true selves against Togo and qualify to probably face Spain, which will be good for me since that is Angela team which is probably why she has been quiet, to see Thierry Henry knock her out will be great!!!! Sorry Angela.

Anyway sorry about the no posts work has been very busy.

Is anyone reading/writing on this venerable site?

It’s an odd one this, do I type on oblivious or challenge those kids who took two teams on each?

 I’ll challenge I think. Anyone else want to write a rambling or two about their chosen side? In the meantime I’ll go back to the very brilliant NYPD Blue.

This is how…

There’s meant to be six pictures of goals here.  Technological problem.  Fact is, those Serbian boys took a hell of a beating.

On Canon Murphy – he was always a good bet.  Raced through the mass, sermon on the evils of British Imperialism and/or the Daily Mail.  Super-fast communion.  Out to the pub.  Class.

The Salford bard’s words were resonating around this leafy part of Cheshire on Thursday evening at about 6:30. England’s soldiers were huffing and puffing but the T and T door wouldn’t blow down.

“Try out our own version of TNT” I screamed at Mr Burns. By jove, I think he heard me you know. Crash, Bang Rooney what a picture. The knackered toed one turned it right round as soon as he pulled off his tracksuit. The Wrexham freak didn’t know what to do with the lovable lad, we started to chivvy and chase like Chevy himself.

Huge sighs of relief all around this sceptred isle, apart from the Taffs and the Jocks, of course. Good goal by the Crouchmeister as he wished his marker a happy birthday by tugging his hair. Just like St Werburghs Primary circa 1973. Mr Geebee lemonade scored a belter with his wrong foot and the barmy army move on to the second round.

Lampard couldn’t hit an elephants arse with a banjo at the moment, it’s that new ball and the heat I think. He wants those big heavy orangey, brown jobs like his old man used to play with.

Ecuador or Germany next. Bring it on I say. Bollocks to Ballack and I have a particular unfondness for Huth too. Uncompromising they call him, shit I call him. I don’t know nuffin about them Ecuadorians. Strong and efficient, just like the Germans. Bloody Hell it’s going to be a tough watch.

I’m in Dublin for the game, booked flights for 49p this week. Does anyone have any idea of how Ryanair actually make money? Whilst we are asking questions, does anyone know how the Argies are going to be beaten? Perhaps we can swap Las Malvinas for the World Cup.

1. Simon
2. Rob
3. Mike
4. Angela
5. Paul
6. Rick
7. LJP
8. Lena
9. Fez
10. JK
11. Cath

Popped back for an afternoon cuppa or 3 of Magners (the joys of self employment) and was taken aback.

A. Togolese national anthem debacle. Top Class Dick heads. Sack em thats what i say.

B. The manager was back and he looked potty. Worried.

C. Graham Poll. I thought thats it, he’ll get it wrong and SK will fluke it. Instead he got it right and SK fluked it. Twat.

 Anyway, France look truly hopeless except for their older player who was, to be honest a bit crap as well. The Swiss looked alright in a Swiss sort of way and SK are out of the way so its 4 points and a prayer for the Pogo lads.

Respect to Ghana, fast and with a player called Razak Pimpong im sure 3 points cant be far away. Italia, juiries still out here. Strong defence cross wise, looked ok but dont like it running at em. Totti is still a great name and if i have kids i will have to consider Pimpong Totti. Still think they will win the thing .

Lastly, The foul issue is mad. Bit of contact…. free kick. Might do a 12 year foul comparison tally chart…….hmmm.  Not like it was in my day etc. etc.

Anyway im off to meet me mate Holga to give him no support whatsoever.

Rick ‘chopper’ Inferno.

They say that the World Cup doesn’t properly get under way until Brazil play their first game. Well I suppose this is an opportune moment to throw in my first proper offering to the blog. Although, judging by the very patchy performance by the men in yellow, it is a moot point as to whether or not the World Cup has properly started. Ronaldo would have been hauled off  by any Sunday morning team on the Roodee. He looked worse than Jim Baxter on his return to Ibrox. Strangely enough, the star man for Brazil seemed to be their goalkeeper. Looked a very solid man to have between the sticks. Now having put the kiss of death on him you will see him flapping around like a demented Paddy Roche in his next game.

I have to declare a  Croatian interest here despite the fact that Dado Poor Show (the Huns Holy Water dipping striker) plays for them. For years Croatian Sean has been a star man at the Club, the official photographer at all events and a keen supporter of Hajduk Split (and Celtic of course). Sean originally came from Wigan (in fact he was the last person to be arrested at Central Park before the move to JJB) and married a Croatian girl. So we have all followed the fortunes of the Hajduk and Croatia for a number of years thanks to Sean’s commentary on the two. Therefore, we were not surprised at the sold performance from the red and white checks last night and let’s face it, they came very close to getting something out of the game. But what amazed me was the site of the Dermot Morgan lookalike on the Croat bench. Truly astonishing. Look out for him at the next game. Which of course got us all talking as to which country has got the feckless Father Dougal. Well, step forward England who has weightier version of Ardal O’Hanlon in the form of Sammy Lee. Personally I think he looks more like Pugsley out of the Adams Family, but there is a passing resemblance there. Also the fact that Sven will only trust our porcine,scouse friend to put the cones out for training, there is obviously an intellectual similarity too.

Now we come to my two teams, Tunisia and Poland. Tunisia play Saudi today and in terms of general interest in the World Cup this like to be one of those ‘muzak’ games. It will be on in the background, no one wants to hear it but if you switch it off something will be missing. When choosing Tunisia as a team to support I obviously had forgotten that Namouchi (another Hun) plays for them. A pure oversight on my part but I will continue to support them despite knowing that the forces of darkness are operating from within.

On a non footballing note I offer the anecdote of a friend of mine who for some daft reason took his family to Tunisia for the New Year. The weather wasn’t good so he decided to take the family on a Desert Safari. You know the score. Spend two hours on a ‘bus, driving along bumpy roads to get the chance to ride a smelly, mangy camel for half an hour before coming home. For any Cestrian bloggers it’s a bit like the free ‘bus to Destiny and Elite on a Saturday night where you travel along a bumpy road to get the chance to ride something a whole lot worse before getting the ’bus back home. Anyway, Wayne and Tracey from Dagenham are on the back of the ‘bus along with little Chardonnay who is rapidly becoming disenchanted with the whole safari idea. Wayne and Tracey are trying to perk her up with a list of all the wonderful animals she will see when she gets there. Lions, cheetahs, elephants and giraffes ‘cos after all this is Africa innit’? My mates peeing himself laughing but says nothing. By the time they get to a rest stop someone has explained to Wayne that infact he will see little more than a moulting dromedary. Mutiny! “You never facking told us that you caaant!” he said to a bemused travel rep. He demanded to get off the ‘bus and go back to the hotel. “How?” asked the rep. “By fackin taxi of course!”. Yup. Taxi from the Shady Oasis rest stop to the Golden Beach Hotel pronto. Oh!” and I want ring back too. The rep gently explained that the only way he might get home on local transport would be via a donkey. Wayne got back on the ‘bus.

I wish this whole business about Poland was as funny. The game against Ecuador on Friday night produced, for me, the worst team performance of the competition so far. Listless, depressing and totally clueless. This to the back drop of a quite magnificent support. Not sure what the team news is tonight although there is talk of ‘Magic’ Zurawski being dropped after a rather poor performance on Friday evening. Having said that, there could be many scapegoats chosen on the back of that display.

The main topic of conversation seems to surround the off pitch activities and the threat of violence. I have said already about the glorious irony of the Germans crapping themselves as Polish hoards invade their country. But hopefully things will pass off peacefully with a thumping 3-0 win for the Poles. Enjoy

First of all, a confession. Bless me Father but I was at the races last night and missed the mighty Brazil’s convincing 1-0 win over the Croutons. Always loved those dried fried bread pieces in cup-a-soup and I’m delighted they have finally secured the international recognition their taste deserves. Anyone ever had them in a Caesar’s sald? MMmmm…..tasty.

Back to the game I didn’t watch and the mighty boys did the bizz as expected. Was there a samba beat? a Brazilian brilliance? a performance to drive you nuts? Who knows, who cares? All anyone is talking about is the wonder goal by the ironically named Caca, he sure isn’t that caca, if you follow my Partridgesque drift.  The other talking point is the fatness of the fallen hero. Ronaldo has been at the old piesy-wiseys hasn’t he? Good Lord he’s like the side of a bright yellow house. All podge and no panache by all accounts. His manager insists he isn’t past it. Bollocks! He’s not just fat and slow, he just doesn’t care, an international disgrace. Good job the World Cup is in Europe, if it was back in Japan the blighters would have shot him and sold him off as blubber. My lad, Tom, still insists he’s good enough though. However he is talking through his pocket as he’s backed the fat fella to be the top scorer. I’ve done Shev, a juicy 30/1 in a very bad group. Come on the Ukraine.

Nina managed only fifth on a truly woeful nag. She did smile at me though as I hollered “Go on Nina my love” as she cantered down to the start. I’d had a few.

i know there are a couple of teams to play, but i’ll stick up the standings so far, cos i’ve got time to do it, and i want to laugh at angela.

1. simon
2. rob
3. Mike
4. Paul
5. rick
6. LJP
7. Lena
8. Fez
9. Cath
10. Angela
11. JK

players are in points, then goals then goals against order.

will update the website at the weekend, need photographs, pictures etc sent to robmasonbrown@hotmail.com so i can put them up? would like a brief description of your world cup experience so far too, if you haven’t already posted!

its very difficult to support the germans, but they look okay, a bit dodgy at the back, but i was loving the aussie performance! more shadow flag boxing to come from mr cahill i am sure! maybe old snake hips travolta will turn up again for the after party when the oz cruise into the second round, tho croatia is a bit of a derby game, and brazil… well, its brazil… tho if we can distract the chubby one with mars bars, sorry ‘believe’ bars! this must be the most commercial world cup so far, you can’t move for tat!

We can’t be too disheartened.  This was, after all, the opening match of the World Cup, against the host nation.  It was never going to be a Ticotastic victory.  However, Paulo did manage to do the honours; we put up a good fight and only made a few more mistakes than them.  Don’t think there were any world beaters on display, but we played our part in a top class goal fest, the likes of which you don’t normally see on the opening day.

Well done lads.   Bring on Ecuador and we’ll see the Cosies serve up a hot, strong assam (just like at The Peninsular … Aaahhh). 

Still confident that we’ll go through… ahem..

   Watch where you’re putting that foot, Sunny Jim…

AP

P.S. Does anybody else get that feeling you used to get when you’d handed your maths homework on time, doing this?