The world according to K

Still Laos

Photies show Emma and I sleeper bus ( man behind I think was the snorer), The Golden temple Vientiane,Chalet in Vang Vieng ,View from Chalet,Pete doing Michael Crawford Impressions before flying,Me and Monk Luang Prabang, Tubing and last Bar on route Tubing -The happy couple

The Sleeper Bus

We made the decision to go by sleeper bus to Vientiane the capital of Laos – and this was a first for us.

The sleeper buses are amazing but they pack you on .Luckily for us we knew each other, otherwise you could be sleeping next to a big hairy bloke in a very confined space, They pack two people to a berth on these buses and it is hysterical. See photies
It wasnt so funny later when I didnt sleep a bloody wink when a hairy bloke next to me snored his way into oblivion keeping everyone ( and I mean everyone on the bus) awake…I even tried throwing things at him ..no lie. Earplugs did not work

We arrived at Vientiane competely destroyed and found an unsavoury mediocre room to share at a local hotel.

Vientiane.
Boring , boring , boring town and everywhere appeared to be closed – or again people asleep…. We spent an exciting night eating little goodies that we had found in town baguettes – cheese , pate..we were so excited to preopare our own food..in our own room…sad or what. Next day we found a nice Italian Restaurant that served great coffee and pastries. we spent time whilst waiting for bus to Vang Vieng taking stupid photies in close up of anything and everything…yes we were bored and glad to leave Vientiane

Van Vieng
We got to this place by bus ( 3hours) , to find it nestled in the mountains surrounded by beautiful limestone peaks( very like Halong Bay ). The scenery along the journey was amazing passing through tiny village hamlets with wooden huts and stalls. Truly lovely.

We found a great place to stay with wooden chalet type huts, surrounded by stunning scenery and right next to the swollen brown flowing Nam Song River ( which we became very familiar with). The only down side to this place was the staff. Each day at breakfast, when you came to order from them ( whilst they were sitting playing cards) they would look at you with contempt – huff and puff their way to the counter and practically throw the menu at you. They obviously loved their job and preferred to sleep or play cards- The only time I have experienced service like this was at the Famous Adelphi in Liverpool..the Cant be arsed syndrome…God forbid if you were guest who wanted anything……

The town itself is very odd nestled in the green lush valley surrounded by souring peaks It provides a snug base for travellers to stay whilst sampling the various extreme sports , climbing treks , canoing , caving that are offered .
A great place to take kids. and plenty of fit families were there. The evening scene was very strange – with lots of places to eat – all offering the same menu..and ALL and I mean this ALL playing re -runs of FRIENDS and ONLY FRIENDS. It was bizarre. Instead of avoiding it – you ended up in one of these places – lying down watching numerous episodes of Friends…ask anyone who has been there.. It is the FRIENDS capital.
However one of the reasons we were drawn to this place was because of another activity on offer. TUBING

TUBING

This is a rite of passage for any decent traveller who has been to LAOS. You had to do it. It consists of hiring a giant tyre, being driven up river 20km, and left to float downstream- sitting in the tyre – past numerous bars – which throw out lines to fish you in, and offer loud music and huge giant zip slides. There are warnings – lives lost every year ..but hey you are only young once.

Being a sensible grown up I at least insisted on the optional life jacket. The journey usually takes a couple of hours and you are warned not to arrive back in the dark – otherwise you could float back over the border to Vietnam…………Our journey down steam -total floating time – not inc stops downstream for much needed sustenance – time took around 1 hour due to the fact that there had been heavy rains..and the river was fast flowing and SWollen..DEAR GOD what was I thinking?

Needless to say we survived and I hope you got sight of the video showing me doing my famous Tarzan act on the rope swing. It was fantastic fun. Only down side was the fact that due to the fast flowing river – we missed the turnoff to base – floated on and ended up very scared, and frightened trying to pull oursleves out of the river further down stream.We ended up trekking through someones garden , climbing over huge fences whilst rolling a giant tyre, to get back via peoples private garden’s to base.. Emma was crying ..me nearly..not good.. No such thing as health and safety here as you can guess.

Next day we went canoing, ( far more sedate and in control) caving and walking through fabulous paddy fields in a monsoon downpour, Great stuff.

The next stop was

LUANG PRABANG

By bus we arrived at this gorgeous town , nestled in the moutains, a hidden treasure of a place. Wonderful french feel to the place and again very colonnial in its look. Patisseries, bakeries and wonderful coffee and restaurants. Ver civilised.

My favourite sight here is the numerous monks dressed in orange that walk about and collect alms. A great sight to see – plus very odd when you see them carrying umberellas or playing football.

Here we met up with scouse Pete – two lunatic Irish girls Johanna and Suzanne and Helen. We stayed at the same hotel – and shared taxi’s top the nearby waterfalls to go swimming. Massages at the local Red Cross, and wonderful gourmet meals were also on the agneda.

The last night was spent saying goodbye – and drinking at the only place open at night..the bowling alley..we even had to wear bowling shoes…..

Next day very very early and still worse for wear – Emma – Pete and I flew from Luang Prabang on Lao airlines – all of us doing Michael Crawford impressions to stem our fear of flying with LAO again which we found hysterical..yeah well you live and learn.

See photies of marvellous impressions etc..

Pictures show, me in my hammock Don Det, Lao Airlines, Rat On a Stick, lazt Lao Locals,Paddy Fields DD,LOcal, Aunty Mo’s Guest House, Me on crowded bus, The sunset Don Det, Emma playing cards,The harbour Don Det

I loved this wonderful place in Laos. The journey to get there was horrendous and involved a flight from Siem Reap in Cambodia to Pakse in Laos- on the unforgettable LAO Airlines. These airlines are so unsafe…the tyres are bald and the lifejackets are stuck under your seat. The landing was probably one of the most frightening I ‘ve had– the plane bounced.

After that – we got a bus to the 4 Thousand Islands region. This bus was not a bus but a medium sized truck. These vehicles are called Sawngthaew buses open sided, with 4 rows of wooden seats. We were packed in with all the locals sitting on top of each other, on the roof , hanging off the back. The locals are lovely and were offering us such tasty treats as Roasted Grasshoppers, Roasted Crickets, Roasted banana, crisps and the ultimate delight Roasted RAT on a stick. See the photies…
We were on this bus for 4 hours…dear God… next to babies , old people, young people, and 4 westerners. One lady opposite me obviously took a shine to me and started -without asking -to pick fluff off my trousers….

Then it was a long canoe like boat which took us the island of Don Det. We didn’t know what to expect, but I loved this little place. Arriving knackered, dirty , tired we were shown our little hut -wooden and very basic -with an inside squat toilet and shower.. no electricity except for between the hours of 6pm – 10pm. Oh God I thought – what have I come to!

Planning to stay at Don Det for only a day turned into 4 .

The islanders originally made their living from farming and the huts were still on the farm with the cattle , cockerals and pigs wandering around underneath your hut. Paddy fields surround you , and you look out on to the most beautiful scenery .At night spectacular sunsets on the river.
The locals are fantastic, but not used to work..ie. whenever you wanted a drink – at the cafe’s ( shacks attached to their homes) , or food, you would be lucky to find them awake…at any time during the day or evening. They just seem to sleep all day and obviously have the mantra of ‘can,t be arsed”.

The food they prepared,when they did get around to waking up, was gorgeous. Spring rolls, homemade curries..fantastic fresh Mint tea. On Don Det you spend your time//well….doing nothing really/

Being awoken by the infuriating cockeral at 4am every morning.. you then spent the day …
lying in your hammock, playing cards, eating, sleeping , lying in your hammock..playing cards….and so it continues.

The only highlight of the day was a local westerner who now resides on the island coming round with freshly baked bread, donuts, and pumpernickle breads..Oh these were fantastic….and we dont know how he baked them on the island.

Another lasting memory apart from the superb storms over the river at night, was me doing yoga in the morning on my little verrandah. At the end of 2 days, I was joined in front by some of the locals including young children and an old woman all copying some of my movements and laughing out loud. They must have thought I was mad

Another memory is playing cads with Emma at night, whilst the family ( and I mean all the family Gran – Grandad, kids – mum dad) culrled up together in a heap on the floor watching the newly arrived televison. Remember the electricity went off at 10pm every night and the groans could be heard when in the middle of their favourite programme, it all went blank…it was hysterical . This was repeated very night..

Watching all the family bathe at night in the river.. then made us realise just where our lovely shower water was coming from…..

Yes I loved this place, and I mourned the fact that we had to leave. Even that was special, walking through the village with our luggage and on to the boat to leave – a few of the villagers came to the bank to wave goodbye. I can say I had a lump in my throat when I left Don Det……

Cambodian Comedians

On the 23rd July Emma and I took a long bus journey 7 hours to Siem Reap.
During the bus journey I had to sit though numerous dvd repeats of what must be the Cambodian equivalent of Morecambe and Wise crossed with Benny Hill.
These two Cambodian guys with moustaches, found themselves in all sorts of hilarious situations and japes. Including ..trying to sell fish to the public…trying to sell old bread to the public..having a drunken meal..and the classic ..going to a prostitute who is actually a real masseur….you can imagine the hilarity. I didnt get it at all…but all around me fellow Cambodian passengers were wetting themselves laughing……Emma slept through it all ..I didn’t!

Siem Reap is a fantastic place, beutiful old French Colonnial buildings ( The French got everywhere didnt they?) with French food , drink and coffee places in abundance.
I think this place is lovely at the mo, but soon to lose that lack of commerciality when it really takes off catering for the mother of all Ancient Tourist attractions down the road..Angkor Wat. I am glad we saw Siem Reap when we did – I can imagine it will soon be another tourist hell hole fairly soon… shame . It is apparently growing at a rate of Knots..very fast changing we were told.

Angkor Wat
My dream came true when I got see this site..
The wonderful , the majestic , the magical temple of Angkor Wat.Other temples such as Bayon and the famous Tomb Raider temple of Ta Prohm. It is true , ancient temples in the jungle do exist,,secret passageways, precious artifacts and the jungle trying to reclaim it all back. Magical. I loved this place so much. I became Indiana Jones exploring the 22 acre site of ruins..”Oh look yet another Ancient ruin of a temple.Tally Ho..”

Photies show the Ancient Buddha towers of Bayon – the wonderful huge heads of Angkor Thor ,Angkor Wat at various stages during the day, and my magic moment when a monk in one of the eerie silent passageways sat looking out a high window at Angkor Wat. Other photies show the real tomb raider temple..how fab is that.

20th – 23rd July

Photies show Monkey crossing border, emma and I P…..sed off on slow boat, in the back of the Tuk Tuk Emma and ATM, me in Tuk Tuk ( the dust) Inside the Silver Pagoda and a chilling classroom with bed -S21

From CHAU DOC in Vietnam Emma ( my travel bud) and I crossed the border by boat into Cambodia.
There is a slow boat or a fast boat to Cambodia. No room on the fast boat so we took the slow boat which was supposed to take us 5 hours but took us 7.

Great views along the Mekong River and all the village people , bathing swiming,fishing washing cattle made it very interesting for the fisrt couple of hours..after that it got hot and tedious. A small shallow junk of a boat – you sit on wooden stools and basically ..well sit…. or try to read …or watch the world go by. Then cramp , boredom and feeling distinctly queezy usually sets in. ( see photies)

Going through Immigration ( see picture of Monkey) was a breeze and the Cambodians appear to welcome you with open arms. Disembarking at a small jetty a mini bus was waiting to take us to Phnom Penh only 20 odd Km away. Great we will be there in a half an hour. One and a 1/2 hours later at 8pm we arrived at the capital absolutely knackered. The reason —-the roads are not roads in Cambodia. In this region they are merely large craters that the bus navigates its way around, over and through- whilst throwing passengers into the air, causing luggage to be thrown on to you and squeeks of fear to be emitted from fellow passengers. Shake Rattle and Roll…

We found ourselves in the company of a German and an english girl who was having a nervous breakdown. We all shared a tuk tuk to find some accommodation ANYWHERE. The German proceeded to try and barter the Tuk Tuk driver down from 2 dollars to one..after over a minute of this the English girl burst into hysterical tears saying she just wanted to go somewhere… I lost it and said to ATM “For Gods sake its 50p or a pound between the 4 of us .. now get in and behave”. We nicknamed the German ATM ( see photie) as she was either talking about money – looking for money/ bartering badly, or generally annoying us. The same person after bartering a poor hardworking thankless tuk tuk driver down to a dollar would not hesitate spending 5 dollars or so on a couple of glasses of wine for herself at night…….

That night we ended up in a room that had rats..not the best place we have stayed in but at 2 dollars a night each who can complain. Atm joined us and followed us about the next day.

Phnom Penh

I liked Phnom Penh during the daytime – but never really felt entirely safe at nightime. The Cambodian people are generally lovely – and yes there is touting to hell…but they are nicer with it.

The only other thing I disliked about Phnom Penh was the dust ..Oh God the dust..( see photie)

The Killing Fields
Here we got to see the Killing Fields. Sombre, thought provoking and actually quite distressing to hear the facts from the guide. The genocide and killing of over 4 million people – 40% of the population suceeded due the fact that it was hidden and kept secret. Only two witnesses survived and are alive today waiting to give evidence.

The guide himself lost relatives and his father had to pretend to be a simple father although he was very high up in Govt office. Someone – somewhere in Cambodia would have lost someone in the genocide.

The Guide who showed us around explained the 17 layers of the monument ,that is full of human skulls from bodies found here. 17 layers because the 17th April 1975 was when the genocide and Pol Pots reign of terror began. We saw the pits , the trees were babies were thrown, the hanging trees, the sheds….and the horror of actually walking along the paths were bits of bone and clothing from bodies… are still coming through. There are too many bodies to clear from these sites so they have to leave them were they are. They estimate over 300 people a day were killed here. Over 3 years .the killings undertaken by children. Not a single shot was fired,,no bullets wasted…no noise to be heard..but every other conceivable way of killing people was used. Horrific.

How did they keep it secret?? Through the use of fear. They recruited young minds..children who in fear of being killed themselves would join the Khmer Rouge often nominating a parent to be killed to prove their loyalty. Some were only aged 8- 10 years. They in turn to prove their loyalty would carry out the killings at the fields..or be killed themselves. Even after proving their loyalty – officers and recruits would in turn be killed- so no one could tell about the killings. Their bodies were usually those that were behaded..so no one could prove their identity.

The Khmer Rouge did however keep excellent records of the general population that “disappeared” . People disappeared if they were considered to be traitors, intellects, teachers, doctors, anyone who read books /..you name it. These haunting pictures and photographs of just some of the millions killed we found at S21 in the centre of Phnom Penh.
S 21 is a converted school it was used as a torture and interrogation prison.It now houses the photographs and the rooms are left as they were. Chilling reminders ( see photie)

The year zero was a horrenduous, horrific and terrifying time ..and not that long ago. I watched the film again The Killing Fields and read “First they killed my father” a true account of the atrocities from young person growing up at the time. It seemed appropriate.

The Trip to the Silver Pagoda and Royal Palace plus gardens were a welcome respite. The silver Pagoda was fantastic ( see photie)with solid silver floors and solid Gold Buddhas with emeralds and diamonds dotted every where.

Needless to say the depressing scenes took their toll on us and sent us into depressive slumps. Heavy heavy stuff .

To compensate we spoilt ourselves and stayed one night in a lovely hotel with a pool.

Next day it was off to Siem Reap and the famous temple of Angkor Wat.

I had to dedicate a little section to toilets and bad rooms.

In my travels in India I had some of the best and the worst rooms that I have ever had the pleasure of staying in. However for the weirdist room….so far that is … Vietnam came into its own.

On the motorcycle trip most of the accommodation that the boys booked us into was State run accommodation. This means the workers are paid a pittance and can,t be arsed to do anything.

In one place in particular in a National Park the room we were allocated sent us into complete hysterics. Firstly a small point I know but there was no bedding. There was a huge hole in the roof with God knows what hanging through. The bathroom ( Oh God ) you can imagine and in the photie you can see the toilet roll holder hanging off at a sweet angle. Not bad you think..well no but add into the equation thousands of mozzies and no nets plus the distinct tell tale signs of bed bugs plus the fact that it was so hot and this room had no fan…..the curtains hanging off.. and the beautiful pictures that adorned the walls ….this room was priceless.

I must tell you about the picture on the wall that you can see Emma holding. This picture shows a mother ( we think ) and family of boys practising to be good Viet Cong. They have rifles and cross bows. Imagine mother saying ” that’s right boys…hit the ……..US soldier right between the eyes…..” I kid you not take a look at the close up. ( photie.

Toilet Talk
Lastly my pre occupation with toilets. I have squatted, perched, been over cliffs , in bushes, on shelves , on buses, on trains.
However the outside toilet I found in Vietnam in the Mekong Delta beats the lot.

I asked to go and the women in the village directed me to the back ..across the bush jungle area. Keep going they signal and wave me on..at the end is a small river flowing quite fast. There stands a frame..you climb over the frame and perch on two bamboo poles – the river free flowing below. I dont balance very well but thank god for my yoga.

When I returned I received a round of applause and huge smiles from my hosts..how embaressing!!!!!! See photie

TTFN

Will keep taking photies of interesting toilets

So on the morning of 13th of July Emma my travel buddy and I met with Scimitar and Quyen our Motorcyle Easy Riders . These two guys are in their 40’s and are enterprising enough to be members of a group of 30 or so riders working out of Dalat as a co operative. They train for months to get to know surrounding cities – history and countryside and their English is fantastic. They planned the route and itinery for us to travel from Dalat in the mountains to Chau Doc in the Mekong Delta a southern area of Vietnam-in time for me to get over the border into Cambodia as my visa ran out on the 19th and I had to be out of Vietnam by then…tight but could be done.

We would average around 120km a day. Now this doesn,t sound like alot but bear in mind – these bikes were only 125 cc and the roads in Vietnam are horrendous especially in the mountain regions. We didn,t know that of course. All our gear was strapped to the bikes and they provided us with the all important all weather dry suits to keep us warm and dry..well Scimitar provided me with a good one – Emma had one that came free with a bottle of beer……long story

I have got to say this bike trip it is one the best things I have ever done. The scenery is spectacular – and these guys took us to places that hardly any westerners had ever ventured into. The hill tribes we saw- were so excited to see us- for many children we were the first westerners they had seen.

In one village ( see photograph of young boy looking at camera) the little ones were so excited at getting their photographs taken and kept demanding to look at the picture of themselves. Emma and I thought they were just curious until the boys informed us that for the children – this was the first time they had ever seen themselves ..there are no mirrors.

Life in the mounatins is so basic and yet its simplicity makes you question what we actually do to fill our own lives at home.The villagers have little or no possessions , they have tools to work the fields, and the food that they grow themselves. The families live as one unit. The children work afternoons or mornings collecting wood or out in the fields. The women and men work the fields.The old look after the new born or little children preparing meals and keeping house in the immediate vicinity .The animals they rear live with the families – either below the huts or in the huts.

Chickens , pigs, boars, and sometimes water buffallo live under the houses. They have so little- and yet I lost count how many times each family would want to welcome us into their home at no request from us. They would offer us grilled banana or other treats. They would want to talk to us, and at no time did they ever ask for money or anything in return. I was amazed at their generosity , strength and work ethic.

Are they happy? I thought about this and here’s my thoughts. The villagers know no other type of life. I have no idea of the history that they carry and can only guess, but all the people we met I can honestly say that they held a warmth and smile for us that I have not come across anywhere else with such consistency.

The children really play here. It reminded me of my childhood in Wales the games we created. Its sad that play for our kids now relies on video or compter games..this in our city’s that we work so hard to be able to afford live in. Where do kids play out now at home ??? I wonder. Whether it’s a wheel barrow, a mud slide into the river, a homemade swing, or just tag these children played constantly. When one aged about 4 fell over ( quite badly during a wheel barrow race) he just got up and carried on. Well . what can you do – mum and dad were not there as they were working in the fields- only big sis aged about 8 was around. The little sisters carry the new born babies around on their backs…see photie

Dont get me wrong – their life is very very hard- but the adults and children looked incredibly fit and healthy. No obesity here. And the laughter..that tinkle of children’s laughter is always magic but there in the mounatins it seemed to echo around the valley’s. What a lovely sound. Each time we stopped either in the villages or at a bridge 9 times out of 10 we would see children playing. See photies of the children playing.

With the Easy Rider boys- we were so lucky to get to see these remote villages, mainly around the area of Dalat then into the Dak Lake Province.

We saw – rubber tree plantation workers ( 500 trees a day they tap), cashew nut factories, marble hackers, silk worm factories,silk making, pepper planatations, weaving – banana presses, charcoal making ,pottery and brick manuafcature…you name it we saw it being made from scratch. These cottage industries are dotted everywhere, and in every case the people invited us to take a closer look to just chat or take a photograph which caused great amusement. You do think that you are entering the third world of pre industrial revolution when you see some of these factories and the working conditions. I will never ever again quibble about the price of cashew nuts…….

One of the most memorable stops was a blacksmith. In a place called Dong Xoai near the Mekong Delta region.
The Vietnamese people are heavy into recycling anything.It was only after watching the blacksmith and his wife working away at a scythe- ( all hand done remember) see photie … that I realised that the homemade anvil he was using to smack away at this hot metal was in fact the bottom half of a mortar shell. That was nothing – he explained to our boys – have look around the corner. When we took a peek the whole of one side was stacked with old shells and weaponary that had been found in the fields. Was it live ammunition or charges ?..I have no idea..we left quickly.

In this region the amount of death , maiming and loss of limbs due to handling or walking on the mines still scattered eveywhere in the surrounding fields is huge in numbers. Still the villagers think its worthwhile to go searching for shrapnel. It makes a lot of metal tools , pots , pans , you name it it can be recycled.

The food on route with the boys was wonderful – they chose and ordered the food in simple cafes or food stalls – we ate what we were given for pence.
My favourite – fresh spring rolls that you roll yourself- filled with bbq chicken – fish and fresh herbs. A side dip provided. WWWWWWWWWooooooooooowww gorgeous and I miss em now.

So much to tell but only limited space to do so but the highlights of that road trip included:-

The outside toilet- in a small Mekong Village- made from two bamboo rods over the river- that was it
The floating market in Chau Doc ( see photie)
The incredible huge waterfalls Dr Ay sap CJut National Park ( photie)
Swathes of countryside seen from afar that is compeletely barren due to previous napalm attacks- you can see the scarring on the hills
The amazing sunsets over the mountains
Torrential rain whilst sitting on the bike
singing on the back of the bike – musicals
Village Long houses on stilts
The village Children playing or collecting wood ( see photies)
Good accommodation rooms – bad accommodation rooms ( next page)
Breakfast – bee keeping and fresh honey with fruit a former VC veterens house ( see photie)
Talking in whispers with- boys over dinner – their true thoughts about communism and what they had experienced in the war and following years. As they say “the walls have ears”
A flat tyre on route ( see photie)
The propaganda posters in towns promoting the fact that you are only allowed to have two children or be penalised. ( photie)
A clutch gone on route
Scimitar being done for speeding – travelling 45 km per hour
Beautiful fire flies on the river – looking like xmas tree lights
The wonderful Vietnamese people on route
The old man doing Kung Foo moves ( see photograph of grandad)
Conversing with communists
Also lastly the fact that Scimitar apparently fell in love with me. I had to let him down gently but firmly. Why me and wrong sex…….it keeps happening

A wonderful trip but challenging at times . It left me with the thought that Vietnam is a truly wonderful country. The people in the south are genuine and warm. Their counterparts in the North the majority I met not so. Still makes it one of my favourite countries to have visited.

We arrived at Chau Doc 4pm on th dot on the 19th the exact time the boys promised to deliver us.
Next stop was Cambodia.

The North South Divide

So sorry to say this but when I first arrived in Vietnam 19th June to be exact- I landed in what I consider to be a hell hole of a place called Hanoi.
From the airport to the hotel ,in a taxi laid on by the “airport ” (yea well my first mistake ) it took 2 hours to travel 12 miles whilst our hosts refused to take us to the hotels we wanted or were already booked into – insisting that they were either “closed” , “moved’, or indeed that we had arrived at the hotel we wanted to go to – but strangely on the wrong side of town. Scam after scam it was tedious and annoying ,and then once off the taxi we were mobbed by touts – pushing , shoving grabbing bags- horrendous. One girls I was with totally lost it screaming at them to F off……another ended up crying and I degenerated into a sweaty – nasty bad tempered witch ..I tell you it brings out the worst of your base nature. There was no use being patient they just would not leave us alone.

So my first introduction to Vietnam was iffy to say the least. I ended up joining 3 other girls staying in Hanoi and sharing a room with Becky . The hotel was OK but again from the moment you check in, the questions start and are incessant …… “Do you want a tour ?..where you go tomorrow? ….how long you stay.????….I have heard since then , that in some cases if a hotel thinks you are not going to book a tour with them for something ( as this is how they earn commission) –they are strangely “Full” or have ‘no” room at the inn.

I have since discovered two definite sides to Vietnam….the North and South divide. Other People’s experiences may differ from mine but here’s what I say ….Vietnam in a nutshell ,,,,,, the North is Shit the South is Fantastic. This is down to the people and their attitude to us ..the traveller…the tourist. In the North – they hate anyone who reminds them of the USA and see you as a dollar or pound sign. For the North Vietnamese it’s pay back time and to do this …the objective is to rip off the tourist as much as you can. Sad but true in majority of cases.

Halong Bay a case in example. A beautiful – marvellous fantastic part of the world in North Vietnam. Thousands and thousands of islands and waterway inlets. A tourist attraction big time- and so it should be – it is truly spectacular.

However to see – and reach this part of the world esp from 4 hours away in the base capital Hanoi YOU HAVE TO GO ON A BLOODY TOUR.. preferably one organised by your hotel- agent – scam artist.

I have spoken to so many travellers who have tried this trip to Halong Bay independently only to find when they get there – no boats – to take you out when you get thereIn worse cases a “friendly” boat person drops you off at the wrong island and leaves you there in the hope you can cadge a lift from a passing boat back to the mainland. ( This happened to my travel buddy Emma)

So my advice if going to Halong Bay is yes book through a trip organiser and keep your fingers crossed that you get what you pay for.I paid for an A/C coach to Halong Bay from Hanoi- and an overnight stay on a sail boat – plus meals- luxury standard- with trips to the islands and kayaking. I got a mini bus and a pirate ship – all be it overnight but no A/C and I ended up sleeping on the deck of the pirate ship. The kayaking was one crap canoe – a bit worse for wear at an island we stopped at…great stuff

In saying that- Halong Bay is truly wonderful to see. The photies above show the islands and some of the sailboats in the bay,. One photograph even shows the bloody pirate ship I ended up sleeping on. The girls on the boat were a great laugh and we ended up star gazing and playing charades late into the night.

Hanoi itself has a nice lake , and water puppets.

I was glad to escape, and escape I did to meet my great buddy the REDHEAD Sara Barrie.

I realise now that I was verging on traveller burnout and Sara’s promise was “none of that travelling roughing it” but luxury and respite”. In a sense I was going to have a holiday from travelling. I was to meet Sara in Ho Chi Min City ( Saigon) and from there on to Nha Trang. Just to remind you Sara’s idea of travelling is going 200meteres to the bar for a cocktail- or the beach ….then perhaps a massage….God I love that girl..

EATING DOG
However the night before I met up with Sara I had one last bad travel experience when I roughed it ..my first night in Saigon. Staying at Miss Loi’s Guesthouse – ( yes Miss Loi – who was fantastic – dressed in black- only employed girls – and carried a walking stick ?????) ( you would have loved her Hedda ) I was warned by Miss Loi that as I left the guest house to turn left not right when going out early evening. Very hungry I did as I was told to find myself in a road of street food vendors..with glorious food stalls and activity. Sitting down at nearest stall I ordered what the next table and majoirity of people wee eating with relish ..a stew with what appareared to be pork and noodles. My first taste of the stew was disgraceful. Thinking the meat was off – I asked in sign language what the meat was- miming chicken – pig etc..The woman just barked at me and smiled saying “enjoy”. My first and last taste of dog was truly revolting. I went back to my pokey room and promptly threw up.

Meeting up with Sara was timely. We stayed in the gorgeous Rex Hotel( Saigon )- had gourmet meals with string quartets playing Pachebel- cocktails- and impressions of VC in the corridor ( long story but very funny) – very lux. We visited the Cuchi Tunnels and the Cao Dao temple about 2 hours away from Saigon.

The Tunnels and AK 47’s

The tunnels were fascinating and after seein them it came as no suprise that the North Viet Cong ‘won” the war against the yanks. It must have been terrifying for the US soldiers facing the wrath of the VC and the supporting villagers. The underground network of tunnels are spread over hundreds of miles – and in one case the VC tunnelled right under a US main base camp and at night would emerge unseen from the tunnels and would slaughter a few of the soldiers- to disappear again underground and into the night. the US soldiers would wake up to find their comrades slain in their beds were they slept. It took the US army months to work out what was happening./
Whether the US army napalmed- bombed – mortar bombed- or smoked out the tunnels- the enterprising VC would always either dig deeper or use the discarded US weaponary to make their own weapons to fight back.For example shoes from tyres , tools and weapons to make land mines and ammunition from discarded shrapnel and finally horrendous man traps involving bamboo stakes set in pits -placed in strategic parachute landing places for when the US landed. welocome to Vietnam. the guide showing Sara and I this macabre display of torture and traps stressed to us that no US soldiers were seriously harmed by these traps..EH??????????????

we were told that the VC and villagers hiding in the tunnels for months on end , would only cook in the tunnels very early morning – ( in huge eating areas) and then via a long shaft tunnel the smoke from the cooking fires would be taken over 400 metres away from the main tunnel and let out early morning so that it looked like early morning whispy mist…very clever.

Sara and I – although politically incorrect had a go at the AK 47’s. Absolutely terrifying to fire one of these heavy things. I deafened myself and nearly put my shoulder out with the kick back after firing just one shot. After seeing these things close up it is sounds pathetic to say this …but war is so futile. The North Vietnamese won their war in support of Communism over western power. Thirty years on the Cuchi tunnels is an expensive tourist attratction – with entrepreneurs and sales vendors all year round promoting the communist way, history … and the flag. ?????????????? They only take american dollars as payment…

Nha Trang

Sara and I stayed at the beautifulm stunning resort of Ana Mandara in Nha Trang. Costing an arm and and a leg I had no regrets as I bathed in a deep sunken bath, had 30 odd choices of pillow at night. Our private little bungalow had beautiful ice cream white sheets and mosquito nets..massages on tap , a technical man to put in your DVD if you were struggling, and the all important private beach .We went snorkelling ( a private speed boat) gourmet eating and with romantic meals on the beach .
Highlights included us meeting the famous photographic artist who fancied me and took my photograph, Crazy Kims – Bar / school for kids in the back/ eating in a ethnically realistic restuarant with BBQ on the side( Sara venturing out 2 nights), angels in the sand and sit ups late at night- on the beach, Cocktails and wine on the verrandah, and finally discovering that at 4 am in the morning the beach is not so private..it is packed with the locals exercising – swimming -congregating… Sara discovered this when she did her “Life from Brian Moment’ pulling back the curtains ..in all her naked splendour to look out ..to be met with the sight of a packed beach..looking at her …….yeeehhha hysterical moments.

Many thanks Sara for great times and memories. The respite from travelling was timely.

BACK TRAVELLING

After seeing Sara off..I headed for Danang / China Beach and stayed at the wonderful but basic Hoa’s place for 3 days. Danang itself is a depressing little town but Hoa’s place on the outskirts is an institution. Lots of travellers..great BBq’s, and communial meals every evening. Hoa’s Place is near marble Mountain ( an odd village and mountain of marble with strange devil Buddah ICONS ). There I met up with my travel buddy Emma and we headed to Hoi An.

Hoi An
I loved Hoi An- the people the town the tailors – the designer gear that you could have tailor made. I had 2 shirts – to pairs of trousers – 2 pairs of shoes – 4 tops made for me in one day ..at a cost of about 25 pound. see Photographs of town

The town is French Collonial- gorgeous restuarants and market food places – I was sad to move on.

DALAT
We got an overnight bus to Dalat -this took 23 hours to the centre of Vietnam and into the mountains. A strange place were the Vietnamese go on holiday as it is cooler….and many go there for a honeymoon. I wasn’t entirely endeared to the place..always getting lost in the tiered streets up the mountain. However it was here that we met up with the famous Scimitar one of the EASY RIDERS ,and with whom we organised the next part of our Vietnamese Travel Adventure..A 6 day motorcycle tour from Dalat into the Mountains then on to Meeking Delta to Chau Doc the border town – and last point of Vietnamese entry into Cambodia .

We had no idea what we were letting oursleves in for……….

7th June – 19th June 2007

Pictures -in no particular order, the Jungle trek – one of the villages posing in his best outfit outside his house-the guide on the trek before I shouted at him- me in a much needed waterfall during the trek -a close up of the sweaty mess that is me after the trek, the village long house, group sharing the dubious pipe with granny, a close up of a very ill me on the overnight train from Bangkok to Chaing Mai- group photie of Heather me – Emma the reunion
Ok so after Geoff left me in Thailand and after a wonderful laid back time on the island of Koh Tao, where the dogs are wonderful – ie.they guard you on the beach and walk you to your door at night- I stayed in Bangkok for a couple of days and then headed to Northern Thailand to Chaing Mai.

This involved me getting the overnight train from Bangkok to Chiang Mai and given that I had a really bad cold after diving in Koh Tao I felt dreadful on the train journey. See photie above showing me with headscarf and scarf around mouth to stop the air conditioning irritating my throat. I know I look gorgeous.

Chiang Mai is a lovely part of Thailand- very chilled and laid back. I stayed at Lucy’s Guest House and met up with Gemma and Jay again. I really found the place to be welcoming and its rather like a small town trying to be big. It was originally the capital of Thailand but has somehow retained its roots in architecture and the manner of the people. I ended up doing yoga for a couple of days and then venturing out on an organised trek into the jungle to a remote hill tribe. This involved an overnight stay in one of the village long Houses.

I met up with a lovely group and although the weather starting out was appalling with torrential rain we managed to get to the point by journeying on the back of elephants to start our trek into the jungle.That was the point when the sun came out ….OMG—That bloody trek — now I thought I was relatively fit but I was NOT prepared for this trek- especially after 4 hours of walking through dense jungle – up hills, across rivers and streams without little or no break .I began to struggle badly – lagging behind the group often losing sight and swearing loudly. As the oldest ( as usual ) of the group I couldn’t believe that we never stopped once for a proper break. No not a cup of tea ..just a bloody breath stop.It ended up where one of the crew in front – his legs went from under him and I ended up shouting at the guide ‘to bloody well stop now…”.

Then and only then did we mange to get into some shade and get some water.The guy who virtually collapsed rallied round – but I was shocked at the state of myself. Sweat – the like of which I’ve never experienced was pouring from me- and I was just throwing water down my neck and over my head. I knew I was very very dehydrated and seriously exhausted- the guide even looked concerned- but then everyone appeared to be in the same boat. Later , much later around three quarter of an hour break later and when I was able to speak again – I told the guide just how bloody stupid it was to not let people rest at all and keep them walking in the blazing sun. It was obvious he was new to this and just didnt realise the danger.The others thanked me after wards..but no one- including me – had the bottle to shout stop before the young lad collapsed..how stupid is that?

So much for my jungle prowness – but at least I had a go. The overnight stay in the long house in the village – a wooden house on stilts- was lovely. A wonderful simple meal of vegetable curry and rice – and the family sharing time with us and with Granny passing around a suspicious looking smoking pipe was an experience to treasure. However the most hysterical time was me deciding to take them up on the offer a massage.

Great I thought a lovely massage after such a hard day’s trek. Wrong – the two young women ( in their 60’s) sat either side of me and started pummelling my back at the same time. Ok I can live with this I thought..although its not the most gentle or exhilerating massage I’ve ever had – perhaps it’s particular to this hill tribe..after quarter of an hour of this – they obviously grew bored and after talking for awhile to each other over my back they began to haphazardly just rub here and there as though it was just something to do whilst having a gab. The last straw came when the little 4 year old boy who was filthy dirty after playing in the mud outside – and who kept entering into the “massage area”, was told for the upteenth time to leave them alone blah blah. He ended up sitting on my back and pinching me – so there I was- all three working on my back doing what I think has got to be the worst but most hysterical massage I’ve ever had. I even paid them .

At least it was better than the German woman who was in our group. Her masseur was aged about 90 – had no teeth and smoked a pipe throughout the proceedings- I was lucky I suppose.

After about a week in Chiang Mai I went back by train to Bangkok for one night. I met up with Heather ( Sergio the Italian ) and Emma who I had met in India at the beginning of my trip. Lovely reunion and we made plans to meet up in VIETNAM.

On the 19th June I left Thailand and flew to HANOI in Vietnam. Before I left I was pullled over to the side by Immigration in Bangkok…..it was then that I discovered that I had overstayed my welcome in Thailand by three days..so had to pay a fine. AAAH well such is life ..over a month in Thailand who would have believed it when I was only planning to stay about 2 weeks. …

25th 26th May

Photographs show me bathing elephants – various – plus the joys and beautiful moment at the waterfall when Geoff proposed to me…..and I said NO!

We had the most amazing two days at the RIver Kwai further North of Bangkok. Bird drove us all to the Bridge and the scenery was spectacular – green and lush- so nice to get fresh air .

We visted the most idyllic waterfalls you could ever imagine – where GEOFF – after knowing me for over 20 odd years finally -proposed to me- and I said no for obvious reasons. The fish here in the pools nibble your feet which is absolutely horrendous and terrifying – I lost it when I tried to go swimming here – bottle went – can’t bare anything nibbling my feet without me seeing it …….

Bridge over the River Kwai did not disappoint us- and then we headed to a place that was the highlight for me so far in Thailand.
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It was an elephant sanctuary where we could stay in a hut floating on the River Kwai- and next day we got up early to bathe the elephants

You are led to platform ( high ) where you climb on to the elephants bare back – with a 4 year old as driver behind you ( I exaggerate about 12 year old). It was nerve racking- and you hold onto the top of the head ( like grim death)- with their ears flapping hard against your knees- in Geoffs case giving him elephant burn.

After 20 minutes we finally made our way to the River- and then the elephants literally walk into the river ( which is dark murky brown – hapatitis attractive- scare)- right up to their neck – with you on top. It was unbelievable and great fun, They loved having their ears – neck head scrubbed- and rewarded you with a trunkful of water being squirted overhead back at you- ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. Oh yea – when the elphants get excited in the water – they POO- huge poos-great when you are also up to your neck in the water and that goes floating past – YUUUUUUUUUKKKKKK….we all showered – twice – afterwards….well some of us.