taunted
“Hi Rachael. I’m Angie-your-new-best-friend from Such-and-Such Travel Package Company.”
Actually she didn’t say those exact words, but that was her too-friendly-for-my-liking tone. And perhaps I’m less tolerant than I used to be….we must have had over a dozen of these Australian chicks ring us in the last couple of months and, quite frankly, I’ve had enough of them.
“Hi Angie, sorry I’m not interested.”
But it takes more than that to get rid of a telemarketer.
“Today I’m offering you 50% off hotel packages all around the world. Doesn’t that interest you?”
“That’s very nice, but in less than three weeks we’re going overseas for a year.”
She’s a bright spark and could deviate from the script effortlessly.
“So do you have everything booked? How about if I gave you 20% off dining as well? That could be useful to you.”
“We’re staying in tents in Mongolia and cheap guesthouses at the other end of the pricing spectrum to your hotels.”
The kids, who had gathered nearby to see why on earth I had not just hung up on this the latest in a stream of travel-marketers, started giggling.
“Oh wow. Can I hear some kids in the background? How old are they, I take it they’re going.”
Not needing to add anything to the bare facts to make an impression, I kept the answer simple. “They’re from 2-14.”
With an age gap that big, the next question bursts out of strangers’ mouths before they even realised they’ve asked it. Sometimes they apologise as if they have intruded just a little too far past the bounds of social etiquette, but by the time they realise they’re dealing with a freak show, their discomfort seems to abate and it becomes quite acceptable to ask the most personal questions and state observations (the most frequent include: “Are you religious?” “Did you always want that many?” “How do you cope?” and “My, you’ve got your hands full”….we’ve had three of those four in the past week alone!). So I was not surprised when Angie asked, “Oh wow. And how many of them are there?”
“Eight.” Pause for effect 😉
“Oh My Goodness. Jeeez. Eight. Jeez. That’s monumental. Absolutely monumental. That’s amazing, Are you for real?”
Not leaving time for me to say, “Nah, I’m just pulling your leg coz I don’t really want to buy your product”, she continued….”So there’s ten of you travelling together.”
I added fuel to the fire, enjoying every moment, winking at the children, “Oh no, not just ten, Grandpa’s coming too and he’s nearly 80.”
“Oh wow. Does he have clearance to fly?”
“Goodness me no, he doesn’t need clearance to fly” (I repeated her words so the kids who were splitting their sides laughing at my little performance wouldn’t have to just imagine the other end of the conversation) “He’s fit and rides his bicycle hundreds of miles a week.”
“Monumental. Absolutely monumental. Are you taking videos and making a documentary?”
By now I figure, she’s forgotten her script and is just plain intrigued. So I soften my approach and tell her honestly, “No it’s really just for us. We’re showing the kids some of the world. Besides, I don’t think anyone would be that interested.”
“Oh I would. I’d buy it. Oh that’s amazing. Absolutely monumental. Well you have a lovely trip and I hope you all come back safe.”
“Thankyou. I’m sure we will.”
*anticlimax*
Tags: preparation
rayres
Awwwww, she sounded quite nice.
LOL… I am always thinking of “creative” ways with telemarketeers too… after all it must be boring for them to hear the same old “not interested” spiel…
Oh that is too funny! Great job, Rachel. I’m just lol-ing along with your kids. 🙂
I think that’s brilliant – infact I might try it next time…last week I told a man who was clearly not from around here that I was struggling to afford cheese – a trip overseas was a bit out of the question at the moment…and he still tried to convince me. Maybe the ‘8 children and a grandpa’ could be the ticket!!
That’s so funny! I have a picture of you all splitting your sides with laughter – even though I’ve only seen you on your blog! Wishing you an incredible journey or discovery in every way – and really, I think she may have a point with the writing a book – it’s going to be an incredible journey and a wonderful show of family strength, unity and learning individually and as a team. Good luck and can’t wait to read about your adventures as I’m sure they’ll make the best sort of arm-chair travel stories. Sarah x (Mum to two young girls and in awe of your wonderful family!) xxx
Ah, those Aussie chicks aren’t so bad then? 😛