Burning Piles of Trash
There is a short snippet, easily missed, in our Lonely Planet Central America guidebook. It reads: “El Fortin was the Guardia National`s last holdout in Leòn. El Fortin can be reached by the dirt road that begins on the west side of Guadalupe cemetery. Follow this road 2.5km until you reach the abandoned hilltop fort, which affords a panoramic view of Leòn.”
This is how it should read (Amy Todd, if you`re reading this, I hope you´re taking notes):
“El Fortin was the Guardia National`s last holdout in Leòn. El Fortin cannot be easily reached. If you wish to attempt the journey anyway, please read the following instructions carefully:
Walk around near Guadalupe cemetery until you see a dirt road that forks off in two directions. Flip a coin to figure out which one to take. Inevitably, choose the wrong one. Walk along this dirt road until there are no longer any other people. Think that perhaps you`ve gone the wrong way. Ask local boys for directions and have them point you back in the direction you came and towards another dirt road that forks off of the one you were following. Walk along this road until you are quite sure that you have no idea where you are. Ask more local boys for directions. Have them tell you that they are headed to the fort anyway. Follow them. Watch as one boy kicks off his sandals and puts on some high heeled pumps that are sitting next to the road in a trash heap. Smile as he wobbles along in them. Realize that there are more and more trash heaps on the side of the road. Look ahead of you and notice that you are walking directly into a dump. Smell something nasty and notice that all of the trash you are walking into is on fire. Tell local boys that you`re really not all that interested in walking through burning piles of trash. Have them tell you that the fort is just up the hill and that you can`t give up now. Agree with them against your better judgement. Have local boys show you how to put your shirt over your face, hold your breath, and run through burning trash. Do it. Feel like you want to throw up. Reach the other side where there is an old abandoned fort. Be unimpressed with it. Then be unimpressed with the panoramic view of Leòn that the hillside provides.
Notice that next to the old fort there is a long line of local people waiting to receive food from a couple who look like American missionaries (white and chubby). Wonder why said American missionaries would choose to give out free food in a spot that everyone would have to walk through burning trash to get to. Come up with no satisfactory answer to question. Suddenly realize that in order to get back to your hostel, you will have to walk back through the burning trash. Psych yourself up and do it. Reach the other side and begin to get whiffs of something just as nasty as the dump that you just walked through. Realize that you are smelling yourself, saturated with garbage smoke. Think to yourself that you have never smelled worse in your entire life. Ask two local women how to get back to the city. Have them tell you that the road ahead of you will take you directly back to the city, but not to listen to anyone along the way. Then watch them make that scary “cut your head off, you`re gonna die” gesture. Hope that the gesture was a cultural reference that you didn`t understand. Keep walking. Notice another local boy walking next to you. Have him walk next to you and stare at you without saying anything all the way back to the city. Feel alternately comforted and weirded out by this. Turn down several cab rides even though you are sun burnt and exhausted because you are so embarrassed by your rancid smell. Arrive back at your hostel and take the most welcome shower of your life.”
-Sarah (with help from Megan)
p.s. To see more pictures click on the photo of the flower to the right of this post
Tags: American Identity, Central America, Garbage, hiking, Leòn, Nicaragua, Photography, Ruins, Times When Lonely Planet Has Led Us Astray, Travel
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Oh Jeez… this doesn’t sound pleasant. All in all, I’d rather be ordering room service and rolling around on a hotel room floor in between interviews.nrnrI have memories of being out in the Salvadoran countryside and coming back to the city too late, so we had to drive back over the dangerous highway in the dark. This is not recommended and led to our local journalist friend driving way too fast to avoid the highwaymen.nrnrDear girls, please allocate enough time to get back in the daytime. There’s a lot of serious shit that happens out in the Central American countryside. They aren’t kidding about the scary hand gestures.nrnrI’m so glad you got in OK. nrnrLove You,nrnrDad
You’re in Leon? No way! Did you know I spent two hot, humid months there? It is way too hot in that city. I too went to El Fortin but did not have to walk through burning trash. Where are you headed next? You should check out Isla de Ometepe. I take BART to 16th & Mission for my new job and I’m so sad I can’t visit you all the time. Much love, Alison
Wow Sarah and Megan! I am happily enduring the scratching of jejenes (sand flies) and am not jealous of your excursion through burning trash. I think I would have turned back (such courage you two!) Take care and have an excellent new years. Also, if you run into a chap named Giddeon from London in Leon tell him hello. He should be there in a few days and is good people.
Not a pleasant scene. Burning trash, local boy walking beside you. I prefer to think he was acting in a protective way but it is disconcerting and the entire day had a disturbing feel. When do you leave Leon?
Today is a new day and the beginning of a new year. Happy New Year!! Stay safe, be careful, feel loved.
mom
Well, from where I sit on Stinky Street in Filthadelphia, I have enormous sympathy. Here it’s pretty much a garbage in, garbage in situation. Ah well. What can you do.
I’m about to go and put Becca on a plane back to Providence. We’ve had a blast, and went to a party last night until 3 am, as if we weren’t old fogies! We were all very proud of ourselves. But it’s back to dignity and gravitas today. Happy New Year to you both! Whooo hoooooo!
whew (fingers pinching nose) — I used to have to drive past a massive dump on the outskirts of Chicago (well, not really on the outskirts, just Hillside) on my way to my old job in the hateful suburbs, and they had these methane pipes all burning… very creepy, especially at dawn when I was driving to beat the inevitable traffic jams, but the worst was the smell. I learned to hold my breath for 2 miles, and I was just on the Eisenhower zooming past. You can see why I wanted to beat the inevitable traffic jams…. Good thing I’d practiced holding my breath driving past graveyards in our youth (why did we do that, Becca?) But, thank you for posting a picture of a flower, a nice contrast to the smell-memory. And just think — smell is supposed to be the most direct and comprehensive of memory-connections (which is why, I guess, I was immediately back on that dawn highway just reading your blog). Maybe you’d better go stick your noses in some pots of simmering mole or something cooking up in your favorite local cafe right away, to set your 2007 memories off on the right, um, nose! As for us, the Cardinal Sinners just came up on shuffle play and the good-luck Hopping John is bubbling on the stove…. (we’ll eat a bowl for you) HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! -your adoring lool
Happy New Year!
Dad- Don’t worry, it was well before dark and we are definitely taking all the correct precautions.
Alison- I envy your garbage-less trip to the Fortin. And I’m going to email you directly to hear more about your new job. How fab.
Zil- Say hi to the sand fleas and gorgeous sea creatures that you are no doubt encountering. We are now in Granada, so sadly we will probably miss the British chap. Ah well.
Jennifer-
I prefer to think that he was acting in a protective way as well. We are definitely on the same page.
Bethany-
Your partying skills are much better than ours, we are still recovering from all of our 4am bus rides and were VERY proud of ourselves that we were able to stay up past midnight on New Years. So, there you go.
Lool & Ceej-
I just took a shower and I smell fabulous. Happy New Year!
-Sarah
Glad you are taking care and smelling great for 2007!
Love,
Dad
happy new year little sweeties!!!! I’m back in providence, as you know. recovering from a great time with Bethany and Katie-Louise. We had a blast — when was the last time I actually had a good time at a New Years party, actually WENT to a New Years party, not to mention successfully stayed up till 3am? Ummmmm…. before electricy was invented? Before mutton chops even? Before rubbing sticks together. nrnr
Wow. the trash blog scared me, what can i say? I don’t want to say that because I don’t want you to not tell us about stuff, but there it is. Glad to hear you tell Jennifer that you are on the same page as her because I am SO on that very page … clutching the book with white knuckles. Be safe.nrnrlove,nrmom