Oh Yes…Brian talk Thai weal well!
Thursday, June 15th, 2006Greetings my fellow Americans…long time no talk! I guess you are curious to know where I am and what i’m doing. Let me update you on some of the happenings of the past 10 days.
From Malaysia I took about a 13 hour bus ride to a placed called Krabi in Thailand, it’s the point of departure to get to the Islands. I awoke at 5 in the morning to wait for the bus outside of my hotel. By getting the bus at this time of day I pretty much guaranteed myself I would be approached by some “Ladies or Lady Boys of the night.” No doubt the second my ass hit the pavement to sit down I was approached by someone slapping their ass and asking me, “you like…you like?” What I would like honey is for you to get away from me and and preferably right now. It was probably fitting as I was on my way to Thailand and I knew it wouldn’t be any better. The bus finnally picked me up and I was on my way. The border crossing was about 2 hours away but since all the bus drivers in Asia like to stop about every 10 minutes to eat and shoot the shit with the fellow bus drivers it always takes longer. Arriving at land border crossings can be pretty stressful. It’s just you and your passport, no one else can help you out. You have all these random thoughts running through your head:
“Will they let me in?”
“What if they don’t let me in?”
“Where will I go?”
“Why is there a Coca Cola ad on the “Welcome to Thailand” sign?”
Walking up to the booth and handing over your passport is pretty stressful. It’s like when you are at recess when your a kid. It’s coming down to the last few kids to be picked for kickball. It’s you, the really fat kid who is standing next to you picking his nose and eating it while his belly is just poking out from the bottom of his t-shirt and there is the nerdy kid who is guaranteed to have his glasses break at some point in the game. You put on your best face, puff your chest out, and hope and pray you get a stamp without any questions. Well I got my stamp and I was on my way. There is a pretty substantial difference between Thailand and Malaysia. Thailand overall is so geared towards tourism it’s ridiculous. In Malaysia they want to sell you stuff and make money but sometimes can’t be too bothered to get you something if you ask for it. In Thailand they will sell you their Kidney for the right price and if they only have one be sure they will find someone who is willing to sell one. People in big cities in the states who get around by taxi would love Thailand. You can’t walk one block without being asked by at least 20 guys if you need a taxi. I’ve been in a taxi and been asked if i needed a taxi. I’ve just hoped out of a taxi and been asked if i needed a taxi. I wore a short that said, “I don’t need no freaking taxi”, written in Thai, and i was still asked if i needed a taxi. I was driving my own taxi the other day and was asked if i needed a taxi…do you get the point, do you, do you?
My first port of call in Thailand would be Kho Phi Phi. This is a small island south of Phuket that is pretty much shaped like a lobsided dumbell. Picture a dumbell with a 25 pound weight on one side and a 5 pound weight on the other. The handle in the middle is where all the shops, restaurants and hotels are located. Visually it is an absolutely stunning island. Unfortunately it was hit very hard by the Tsunami and it has been pretty commercialized. All that a side it is an absolute paradise. Limestome cliffs rise over 1000 feet out of the water and are draped with greenery. The water is crystal clear except for the trash that floats in it. There are no cars on the island, only bikes. I stayed for 2 days and really enjoyed it. On the last day me and a few friends took a ride out to the other island called Kho Phi Phi Lay. It’s the island that was the set for the movie, “The Beach.” Our boat driver didnt’ speak a lick of english. Our boat was not very big and I still to this day don’t know how it didn’t sink. If you sneezed the boat would be thrown to one side. When we got out to the island and headed to Maya Bay, this is where the beach is, he told us it was to choppy to go into the bay:
“Maya Bay…no go…Maya Bay…to much wave…no can go in.”
We insisted we go into see it as it’s the whole reason we came out here. After minutes of yelling back and forth we decided to move on and stop arguing:
“Loh Samah Bay…we go Loh Samah bay…ok?”
We pulled into Loh Samah bay and discovered that all you had to do was get out and swim through a tiny hole to be able to walk through to Maya Bay. This was actually a much better way to see Maya Bay. The Beach itself is just an unbelievable stunning sight to see. Pristine, turqoise water surrounded my giant limestome cliffs. You can’t describe how beautiful this was. You have these moments when you are traveling where everything stops and you sit and wonder:
Why the hell did I not come here sooner?
Why the hell would anyone not want to come here?
Who won the Lingerie Bowl last year?
Granted it took alot to get to this actual place but I would have done twice as much to get here. Hollywood really did find the right place for the movie…well they didn’t actually find it but you know what I mean. Maya Bay was littered with tourists and cruise boats but it still didn’t take away from it’s natural beauty.
Ko Phi Phi is a must see. I give it two thumbs up with a twist and a snap around the world. I was now on to Phuket to see the place so many other people told me to avoid.
Gagnonius