BootsnAll Travel Network

Why panda’s are the worlds most useless animals

Chengdu is very famous for panda’s, basically the only remaining wild ones live close by and there is a big panda breeding center in the city. The government has thrown a lot of money into panda breeding the last few years and China and Chengdu are regarded as the place to go and see panda’s.

So of course our first day in Chengdu, Me, Alice and Ross joined up on a trip with our hostel and headed out to see what all the fuss was about. We left early in the morning to get there in time to see what panda’s do best, eat. Now I am not saying panda’s aren’t cute, they are ridiculously cute, particularly the baby ones who look like stuffed toys that move. And you can get really close to watch them which is cool. So pretty much panda’s are cool. But through our education the breeding center we quickly learned how panda’s are actually incredibly stupid animals and through natural selection/evolution/God getting rid of them (whatever way you swing) there is really no need for panda’s to be alive.

For instance

  • A panda gives birth to twins 45% of the time but in wild can only look after one baby so the other one will always die
  • When a panda first gives birth it often doesn’t recognise the screaming infant and tries to kill it
  • Panda’s only eat bamboo, but can’t actually digest it at all so has to eat a stupid amount to gain any nutrition
  • A panda eats for 9 hours a day, then just sleeps, often getting too overweight
  • It is unlikely that a panda will find a mate that it likes making breeding not very common
  • They can’t protect themselves, only using their black and white fun as a deterrence. Basically they are too fat to run away.

So really the only way the are still alive is because humans think they are cute then spend a crazy amount of money protecting them, when in reality they would have just naturally dies out, not because people were interfering with them (although that has happened to an extent) but because for the reasons above, they are pretty much the most useless animal ever. And what a good way for the government to look like they are nice”but we save panda’s!’

Now don’t get me wrong, they are so cute, and watching them is pretty amazing but really they are so stupid! And so are some people, a girl in our group was a little too excited about the pandas and paid the astronomical fee of 1000RMB (about $250 NZD) to have her photo taken holding a baby panda. I actually didn’t think any one would be stupid enough to pay that, but there you go, cute animals make people crazy! So we got to see baby panda’s, big panda’s, panda’s eating, panda’s lying around. We watched a horribly disturbing and poorly produced (blair-witch style) on panda breeding and graphic shots of every stage. The museum was kind of interesting and of course gift shops were everywhere- the stupid girl brought a panda mouse pad.

So in conclusion, if in Chengdu, go see the panda’ they’re cool….but just think about how stupid they are.

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42 responses to “Why panda’s are the worlds most useless animals”

  1. Danee says:

    You so know I’d be the stupid girl. Only I didn’t pay the astronomical fee to have a sedated tiger’s head in my lap in Thailand…but I *had* just kissed a little cub. I just become retarded when it comes to animals. Its one of my Achilles’ heels. I have a few.

  2. Arnika says:

    yeah I actually thought of you and how you probably would die with happiness at the sight of baby pandas getting bottle fed. But surely even you would see the stupidity in spending an entire weeks budget on a photo…although you would probably pay the half price version for a photo patting a giant panda!

  3. ROBOkid says:

    STUPID! Pandas are great.. They are not useless. God Has something good to do to them.. Maybe God is challenging us to revive the plenty pandas in the world.. I ultimately love pandas.. SO the writer of this not-real story is the one who is stupid!

  4. Arnika says:

    haha…maybe its just a bit of a joke?

  5. Hannah says:

    Pandas are awesome! And no, it’s not a joke at all! God made everything for a reason, and everything has a use. I love pandas!

  6. gio says:

    pandas are not useless you are

  7. Jorge says:

    Pandas are stupid! Everything the writer typed is true because pandas actually live the way he described!. ROBOkid and Hannah, If god has a use for pandas it’s to let them die off because of there uslessness. They are physically incapable of surviving. Maybe it’s because of humans intervening so much, but even then. Pandas have horrible survival skills. ROBOkid, if God is challenging us to revive endangered species then we as a race are failing horribly. Species go extinct at the rate of about 25 a day (not limited to large animals we’d notice). All the people defending the pandas just like them because they think they’re CUTE. You guys need to grwo up and accept life’s harsh realities and stop living in your own fantasy world. Kudos to the writer!

  8. Russell says:

    Pandas aren’t useless, they’re something for people to “AWWWWWH” about, and also something for people to spend money on. There would be jobs available for people to work at zoos, also keeps the money flowing, so one person can’t entirely hold on to their money because of the cuteness of pandas…

  9. tori says:

    :'( im not stupid

  10. Lizzi says:

    Pandas are kind of useless. Not like we need to kill them out or anything, just leave them alone. If they die, they die, if they don’t, they don’t. The strong will survive. I bet if Sharks, snakes, roaches, or spiders were about to die out, you all would cheer :c

  11. Emperor_Li says:

    You should really try harder with your spelling and grammar. It’s quite painful to read in places.

  12. Emperor_Li says:

    I appreciate the content though. Thanks

  13. Arnika says:

    Hi- yeah spelling is not so good on this blog- for the most part I am quickly banging these blog posts out in some strange country in a dodgy internet cafe with a weird keyboard and a computer set to chinese characters that puts squiggly red lines underneath every single word. I’m not really one of those people who spends half my trip updating my blog to make it perfect- try to spend more time away from computers! But yes you are right, and every so often I go through and fix stuff up, but there is a lot of words! thanks for checking out my blog and my apologies 🙂

  14. Allen Pan says:

    THis blog are so STOOPID !
    I is a panda (pan pan) and finding this post a lot offensive to my kind. I am the cute and cuddly, peoples loving me, so i am NOT stoopid.

  15. i says:

    Pandas aren’t useless. They’re a delicacy.

  16. jessicaman says:

    If you really want the creatures with strong surviving skill to live,then dont kill the flys,the rats,the roaches!!! Stupid logic.

  17. neongel says:

    i don’t know how long any of us will survive in wild China with only bamboo to munch on. in that sense, Panda is a very resilient animal! as for the conservation, it’s only fair to protect the animal if human kick them out of their home.

  18. amaan says:

    pandas should be saved cause they are animals just lyk us

  19. horse and cat hater says:

    now I agree that panadas are freaking useless but they’re so cute it doesnt even matter now if you want to talk about a stupid animal thats useless eats its own crap and smells like crap and has flies buzzing all around it then you should go look at a stupid freaking horse!

    ugh now they’re freaking useless not to mention freaking scared of everything and I wish we could get rid of these ugly grass guzzling shit freaks once and for all cause its not the west or world war one anymore so really what the hell do we even need them anymore for anyways?

    just like cats horses are stupid and useless and oh yeah not to mention worthless!
    and if theres any horse lovers here whos gonna go freaking overboard just cause I dont love your stupid dick sucking animals then go fuck yourself and fuck yourself too!

    kung fo panada rocks!

  20. Rena says:

    They may be stupid and they may be adorable, but I don’t think it’s a good use of time to argue about them. If you think they are stupid and useless, don’t waste your time complaining like little babies.

    horse and cat hater: Stupid troll.

  21. Horse haters: Uhm…Horses were our cars (in some places they still use them as cars) and some consume them as meat.

    Cats aren’t useless either, they eat mice.

    Panda’s are not useless! Okay…maybe they are useless…Oh for God’s sake they are fucking cute! If baby’s were permanent babies wouldn’t we adults protect them?!?
    Panda’s are yingyang leave them alone blaaaaah let them survive. Okay, maybe we should let nature’s job do the rest…

  22. Jorge says:

    How I happened to stumble back to this page I don’t remember. Has anyone noticed that the only people defending pandas always play the “cute” card? You all need to pay attention to what lizzi said. If a bunch of bugs and “ugly” reptiles we’re about to go extinct you would all cheer and try to stop people from saving them. Horse and cat hater, Your logic couldn’t be more flawed. 1) You think we should go out of our way to get rid of horses and cats. Pandas (once again) are cute so their nearing extinction “doesn’t matter”. Implying they should still be saved because they’re cute. Horses and cats actually have survival skills that work (wild horses and cats actually exist. Did you know that?!). Horses were and still are used as the main form of transportation in many parts of the world. But who cares?! Those people should be deprived because you think they’re ugly. Horse shit is also widely used as a fertilizer for plants and they also prevent the over abundance of wild vegetation. They’re also an excellent source of protein (way better than beef). Cats prevent the over abundance of small rodents and some insects because that’s their main diet. Whether you like them or not, we need them and they’re both here to stay. At least pandas are going away naturally (natural selection). but you’re stupid to think we should go out of our way to kill cats and horses just because YOU think they’re ugly and don’t like their smell

  23. John says:

    Someone doesn’t know how to use plural/possessive. That’s ok, you’re just like the pandas…

  24. […] Just something for you to learn. Like this:LikeBe the first to like this post. This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. ← Chapter 11, PC […]

  25. MIKHAIL PIVNIK says:


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  27. Christian Mercado from Oakleaf Highschool says:

    You guys are all stupid. Pandas are extremely useful. Bamboo actually releases harmful chemicals into Earth’s atmosphere and since pandas eat a mass amount of it, they are helping the earth more than any other animal in the world. Long live the panda!

  28. Pandahumper1012 says:

    I for one love the panda.

  29. Christian Mercado from Oakleaf Highschool says:


  30. Ninoshka says:

    Christian, is that you?!!? Haha, I didn’t know you were in the PPC (Panda Protection Club)! Let’s meet up sometime and talk about our love of pandas? 😉 HMU sometime!

  31. Emily Skeets says:

    I, for one, hate pandas! Me and you can never be together, Christian. You’re better off with Ninoshka.

  32. […] never have, in terms of both cuteness and physical prowess – I’m a polar bear guy. Funny rants about how stupid pandas are actually reveal a great deal about how environmentalism has—and […]

  33. […] never have, in terms of both cuteness and physical prowess – I’m a polar bear guy. Funny rants about how stupid pandas are actually reveal a great deal about how environmentalism has—and […]

  34. China Eunuch says:

    Excellent and honest observation of the world’s obsession of pandas. Kudos for speaking your mind. Good and amusing read.

  35. Emma says:

    Pandas are not useless in any sense of the world, this blog is very naive and really doesn’t touch on any of the evolutionary advantages pandas have to survive (also, pandas really ou predator is humans, get your facts straight please) and also they are not for us to ‘aww’ over they exists for their own right. You people need to get your priorities straights, we can’t leave pandas to become extinct that’s just wrong, the deserve to be saved they are a crucial part of the Chinese Eco system and man has no right to au whether an animal mist die out or not. I think if you saw a panda in the wild you would know how important and amazing they are. Please don’t let these amazing animals become extinct

  36. Azuriah Cannon says:

    This is an outrage, pandas are not stupid creatures. They are adorable and frankly there are only 1600 left. Shame.

  37. Azuriah Cannon says:

    This is completely stupid. Pandas are gods creation. You say “Lets nature do the rest”. Pandas are not endangered because nature! Its all mans fault. The only reason they are endangered is because people take away their habitat for farmland and bamboo for stuff. If It was not for man there would be many pandas. So you can eat on your bamboo plates, blog your blasphemous blog, and where your stupid bamboo slippers. But pandas are dying because of you, it is not the pandas fault. And so what their fat. A lot of Americans are overweight. Does that mean we should just “die”. So if you open a Chinese blog, you should quit bashing the pandas, YOU IDIOT, just leave the pandas alone and change your blog to “All The Ways I’m An Idiot!

    PS. I am only 12 years old and I think I am smarter than all the people on here you bash the panda, you people are full grown adults or should I say IMMATURE adults.

  38. will says:

    ok anyone dumb enough to beleive this may be mentally retarded, now id start mentally preparing yourselves because im about to drop some knowledge on you idiots, pandas have been around for thousands of years, and a simple check on google will prove it, and for thousands of years they have lived in the wild and some still do today and if u just take 1 minute to actually look up these notions, like pandas wouldnt be around if it wasnt for us when really we’re the reason there an endangered species, how about instead of blindly believing some panda bashing moron who thinks his shi* dont stink, you just take a second and look it up yourself. and by the way mr article writer guy, im here to tell you that your shi* does stink, it stinks like shi*!

  39. Xunzis says:

    Actually, a panda can gut you if it wanted to. They are bears after all … they still have very sharp claws which they have been known to use when something annoys them. But yes Giant Pandas are dumb probably due to their poor diet.

  40. PSMAYO says:

    It’s not important whether they are idiot or not, it was we people who made them extinct by over hunting, so we have the responsibility to protect and help them populate. The wold is for every creature to live and not just for selfish humans. Being innocent isnt a harm and not a reason to be wiped out, they even need more attention and support to survive.

  41. XxKrissyxX says:

    You are stupid for thinking that pandas are useless !!!they are awesome for everything they do they are intelligent not dumb and fat they are my fave animal so shut your f’in mouth

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