"The Extremely Distasteful"
And for once it´s not my sense of humor

Lance Armstrong is a hit. Now, don´t get me wrong, I couldn´t care less about whether he rides his tricycle to another victory or off a cliff, cycling just doesn´t do it for me...especially after I read that he didn´t really compete in too many races and mainly just trained to win the Tour de France while other racers were competing in race after race. That, if true, seems pretty lame to me.

But I can respect what his foundation was doing with those yellow bracelets. It was a good idea for a fundraiser. I had one before I came here, granted I didn´t pay for it, I assume one of my sisters´ friends did. One of them brought a bag of them over to the house one night. If I find out they were bootleg too, so help me god! They were cheap to produce and for only $1, who wouldn´t buy one to support the fight against cancer.

Well, apparently Europeans, or at least the Spanish. I realized how popular this things were last week or so. When I first arrived, I saw a few, but more or less I think mine made me stick out as an American. As time went on, I saw more and more (obviously people trying to be like me). So, in walks one of my students, an 11 year old boy with one. I told him I used to have one and he asked if I saw another one, could I get it for him. I asked why. The other shoe is now ready to drop. HIS WAS FAKE. People are making, distributing and selling fake ones here. Talk about burning in hell one day (I´ve done my share of slimy things and one in particular sticks out, but I don´t think it needs to be repeated in this space).

If I´d of known they´d become such a big hit, I wouldn´t have given my bracelet to some bimbo I met in a bar that "had been trying to get one forever!" I remember thinking, "LOSER", but if she really wanted this piece of rubber that bad, who was I to stand in the way of her happiness??

"The Bad"
Gone are the days of "The Teaching Superstar", ushered out and followed by the days of "The Teacher Who Doesn´t Care". There are too many students that don´t want to work or do anything. I have a student who is 9 years old and moving to the NY area in June. Her father is expecting her to go to regular school in September. You figure, hey, that´s some motivation right?? Nope. She´s a beginner. She can´t write sentences, form most questions and still doesn´t even say "I don´t know" in English. Always Spanish.

Conversation from class last week -

Her - "Que aburido!" (that´s boring).

I got pissed.

Me - "You don´t like drawing, coloring, writing, reading and you can´t speak because you don´t like studying so you don´t know any words. What would you like to do?"

Her (pricelessly) - "No entiendo." (I don´t understand)

I threw the books across the room, slammed her head into the desk, ended class early and went for a beer.

"The Good"
Lest you think my time here has made me completed jaded and even more sarcastic and cynical than I was before my arrival, here are all the positives about living here and working as a teacher:

* I am spoiled. I am not sure that I will ever, ever be able to wake up before 10am again. The real irony is that most people in Spain complain about the teaching schedule because the majority of teachers have to take 8am classes at businesses. You would have to knock me unconscious to get me into a classroom that early. I don´t have class on Mondays until 6pm and it´s 2pm the rest of the week...

* Easy access to cheap and delicious sangria all the time. I LOVE IT and I try to get my FDA recommended 4-5 helpings of sangria each week.

* As mentioned before, lack of job stress is a wonderful quality. It is impossible to be stressed in this job, especially in this city. There are about 250 language schools here so there is no problem getting a job. If you don´t like a class, quit.

*The relaxing pace of life here. If you don´t want to do something, you don´t have to. If you want to see outside at a cafe all day long, you can. In fact, many people do.

* The haphazard way people walk here. Although, this is a mixed blessing. Walking into the metro or going up/down stairs is always an adventure here. There is no "keep to the right" or even just "the sides", people zig-zag all over, and cut you off. This is great...sometimes. When you are in a rush and need to get somewhere, there is no shame in running past people, jumping in front of them and in general, walking very rudely. On the other hand, it keeps you on your toes and the time you don´t is when you are knocked over by a 4´2, 85 year old woman in a fur coat.

* Good, cheap wine available everywhere. I was in a cafe last week and had a few glasses of wine and they were like €1.10 / glass. Not too shabby!

* And I love the nightlife...especially the Eastern European Hookers here...and here...