not in a hurry…
Mostly written by Rob
Luang Prabang, Laos
There is nothing like sitting in the middle of a “strange” culture to help you reflect on your own culture…to muse on the similarities and differences. What we value in our own culture is an expression of the worldview we hold and the values we prioritise. One thing that strikes me is just how multi-cultural New Zealand life actually is. It means that we recognise and accept a wide range of cultural practices, yet it also makes it oh-so-difficult to actually define what New Zealand culture actually is. After all, my expression of Kiwi “culture” is going to be different to my neighbour’s.
It has been a privilege to be able to have the time to settle into ‘normal’ life here in Luang Prabang for a couple of weeks and just live life alongside the Lao family that run the guesthouse, seeing what matters to them. But it has been hard answering the “what do New Zealanders think about xyz?” questions, because we are aware that, although we are kiwis, we are non-mainstream, minority kiwis.
Defining “the Lao-way” seems easier. Some striking features include:
People here have the time to sit and chat and share life with you. They are not busy racing around running errands, going to the supermarket or to the movies. (Man, I wish I could go and see the new Bond movie though! :-)) The pace of life is slower; it has to be, of necessity. There’s no Burger King for a quick snack – if you want to eat, you need to walk to market, buy raw ingredients, build a fire, and cook from first principles yourself. The only fast food around here is from the old ladies, who wander down the lane carrying sticky-rice and coconut wrapped in banana leaves in baskets over their shoulders. Mind you – you can buy a BBQ-bat-to-go from the road stall, I guess!
Actually, a lot of socialising occurs around meal preparation and eating. Once the fire is lit, they sit around talking while the food is prepared and cooked. By “they”, I am referring to people from any one or more of six houses down this alleyway, and perhaps other friends who might turn up as well. There are not clear set times for meals, yet we have seen a number of people appear and share food during the weeks we have been here. There does not seem to be the more formal practice of inviting people over for a meal (as we would in NZ), but ‘guests’ certainly arrive for impromptu meals often.
At other times, someone will cook up a big pot of whatever, and only one or two people take a plateful. But then others invariably turn up later to finish it off. There may not be TV-dinners to heat up in the microwave for late-comers, but sticky rice stays warm in its bamboo basket for a good many hours.
The times we have most enjoyed watching are when everyone crouches or sits on a low wooden stool (imagine a rough plank of wood, with two smaller pieces crudely nailed to the bottom) beside the fire, the communal pot in the middle of their circle, next to the sticky rice basket, everyone dipping their hands and spoons in, taking their fill. Even eating from a communal pot is different to “our” way of doing things, isn’t it? And if anyone wanders past, they will also be encouraged to “eat eat”.
The top picture is when lunch started….
then they gave us some….and then more people turned up…..
The children play around outside while this happens. They are not buried in a video-game, or chatting on cellphones, or loitering around outside the mall. The teenagers we can see are engaged in daily family life, the family business or are busy with school work. In fact, many young people seem to take their turn in managing the family stall or shop – there are plenty of 8-to-10 year olds we see behind the counters or returning from market on motorbikes! (we have heard you have to be five years old to ride a motorbike here – not sure how accurate this information was, but you do see small kids driving bikes around town)
Did I mention our neighbours are happy to sit and chat, that they all seem to take an interest in the people around? It’s not just us, or just their friends – these people show a genuine more-than-superficial interest in everyone who passes through. Often when we have been on our way out and someone has asked, “Where am I going?” 😉 , we have answered, “bai ta laat” (go to market) and we’ve found that someone coming along; they drop what they are doing to spend some time walking with us. We are left with an overwhelming sense that when Porn (also known as Mrs Downstairs) says, “You are my sister, we are one family”, she really means it.
Another difference is that people don’t have much *stuff*. And consequently, little time is spent on maintaining it. By that, I don’t mean lawn mowers and food processors and computers and swimming pools and and and….well, I do, but I also mean things as simple as beds, baths and bikes. It doesn’t take much time to make your bed when all you have to do is roll up the quilt you were lying on to clear some floor space for daily activities. You don’t need to scrub the ring-around-the-bath, when all you have is a hose outside over a drain. There’s no clearing the rubbish out of the car or waxing and polishing it – not when you only own a motorbike. One of our children commented, “You don’t really need many things, do you?” The question didn’t need answering, but I can see the concept being the source of some discussion in months to come.
Tags: food, housing, postcard: Laos
rayres
We really do seem to have TOO much stuff. I guess that is why we have so many thrift store in our part of the country—U.S.A.
wow – we are one family –
that gives me the goosies.
love it so much.
on the topic of Bond, we went last night!
we even got a martini first!!!!!!!!!!
was pleasantly surprised at Bond, liked it better than Casino Royale.
suggest ya skip the martini though – less than impressive – actually tastes rather like “gastrolyte” – which i hear you could do with anyway – loved the floating olive though!!!!!
love X
Yes, the maintenance of our stuff takes us away from relationships. It is so noticable after spending time with other who seem to have very little.
very true! the sheer volume of time my partner & I have spent over the past few months trying to shed our excess *stuff* makes it a very hard point to miss!
and i just have to say thank you so much for sharing your journey with us! your posts, in particular the BBM one, have really made us re-evaluate how we will be approaching this christmas 🙂