Old married folks
Sunday, May 17th, 2009Tucson, AZ
So much to tell…
I ended up getting into the Masters program at the University of Arizona in Tucson. I start at the end of August working towards my degree in the Language, Reading and Culture department. I’ve signed up for my classes, met my advisor and some of the faculty, and now I’m just really ready to get started. We’re in Tucson now, waiting to hear whether or not we got a great apartment near the downtown area (which is nothing like any downtown that I’m used to) and the university. If we get it, then we move in on June 1st and can finally really unpack and get furniture. We already bought an amazingly comfortable mattress (after a year of sleeping on all kinds of crappy beds, we deserve it) and it’s just waiting at the store to be delivered to our new place when we get one (right now we’re sleeping on a blow-up camping mattress, which is better than most beds in China).
Yesterday we went to a Chinese Dumpling Festival in town. It was expensive, but well-worth it for real, authentic Chinese dumplings. We also picked up a few menus there of recommended authentic Chinese food restaurants. When we get jobs and money, we’re heading right for them.
When we first got back to the States I had a hard time adjusting. I’d read a little about how a lot of people who have gone on similar trips have had more ‘culture shock’ returning home then they did while traveling. Something about all the differences becoming the norm and then being back where you’re supposed to be comfortable. And also some people experienced that they had changed a lot over the trip but everyone they’d left behind had stayed the same. For me I think the hardest thing was getting used to English. I noticed almost immediately that having everything, everywhere, all the time in English was very overwhelming. I had lost the ability to block out all of the visual and auditory stimuli we’re bombarded with every day in America. Starting out in New York City didn’t make things any easier, either.
This was all a little shocking and overwhelming. And it took me a good month to start to get over it. When we traveled we went to incredibly crowded, noisy places that were covered in advertising. But it was all in a different language. It’s easy to block out noise when it’s just that–noise. But being back in the States the ‘noise’ was suddenly talking, all of the time, and very loud and I couldn’t get away from it.
But New York wasn’t all bad. We went to an amazing musical called “In the Heights.” It was fantastic. Stephen and I both really loved it. It was fun, too, to go see a musical in New York City. We saw the Statue of Liberty from afar throught he sprinkly rain, went to the Brooklyn Bridge, stood on Wall Street, and ate Chinese food in China Town.
The New York City China Town was a little strange, though. It looked nothing like China. All of the buildings were red brick. It looked more like a scene from the Cosby Show than a street in Beijing. But the food was pretty good, so we were happy.
After NYC we took the Greyhound Bus (completing our long distance busing in all of the continents we visited) to Pennsylvania to visit my family. The bus was both cleaner and dirtier than buses we were used to (confusing, I know, but I’m not sure how exactly to explain it). It was really wonderful seeing my family. My cousin Megan is very pregnant and my niece Sophia is walking now. So that was fun to see. And we had a nice extended family dinner party to celebrate my upcoming marriage. It was a good time, if a little stressful with all the English and planning a party. But fun, too. My sister and I didn’t even fight, a lifetime record.
After Pennsylvania we drove down to Alabama with my mom to visit my old university and see some of my friends. We had another party there (bbq, of course) to celebrate but otherwise just enjoyed relaxing a little. Being back in California was the best, though. We both really missed the Bay Area and Steve’s family. It was great to be back ‘home’ finally, but also a little bitter sweet since it was only temporary. But I think we were both excited about moving to Tucson, and looked at being in California as just another stop on our trip, so it wasn’t too bad.
Our friend Joe, and my traveling companion when Steve and I met five years ago, flew out to California to marry us. We had a whirlwind day on Thursday, April 30th getting everything together. We picked up Joe the night before at the San Francisco Airport and we stayed with Steve’s sister and brother-in-law in the city that night to save us a lot of time and effort. Laura very sweetly made us french toast in the morning before we went off to the court house to get Joe sworn in as our deputy for a day (aka officiant). It was a really easy process. We took our marriage license in, he filled out some forms, got sworn in and voila, he could marry us! Since we were ahead of schedule we walked over to a yummy Turkish place down the street and bought gyros before driving to Castro Valley and the lovely Deer Crossing Inn B&B where we were scheduled to meet my stylist at 1 pm and get ready before driving to the coast and getting married. We had originally planned on getting married on May 1st, but with complications with our original photographer (she double booked) we ended up switching to the April 30th and then to a new photographer.
When we arrived at the Inn (an hour before our early check-in time. Cindi, the Innkeeper, was amazing on the phone when I made the reservations. Allowing us an early, early check-in so that we’d have time to get ready and pointing me to one of their awesome room deals which saved us a lot of money and got us the best room!), one of the staff told me that my stylist had called and said that she wasn’t going to make it since her car had completely broken down on the way. Having only a tube of chapstick with me and maybe a hair tie, was a little distressed, but kept it together pretty well. The nice lady told me that there was a mall down the street, so after eating our gyros and relaxing a little on the patio, Joe and I drove to the mall and had a lovely time at JC Penny getting my hair done (all the little old ladies getting their hair curled knew about my getting married and the stylist not making it by the end. They were all telling me how pretty I looked and wishing me and Joe–my fiance, obviously–the best of luck). The woman did an amazing job turning my lack of hair ideas into something just perfect. We then went to the MAC counter in Nordstrom and got a free (FREE!) makeover comlete with fake eyelashes! I was a little freaked out at first since all make up artist girls working the counter were way overdone (coming from the girl who doesn’t wear any make up). And more freaked out when she started with my foundation and then my eyebrows (I looked all eyebrows), but when it was finished I felt sort of uncomfortably beautiful. Which is a good thing.
Somewhere in there I had called my (amazing) photographer Silvana and left her a voicemail to meet us at the beach instead of coming to the Inn because there wouldn’t be getting ready shots since I was getting ready at the mall. She didn’t get my message, and was at the Inn when we got back. She had taken time to get shots of Stephen and of the Inn and to sort of scope the place out. This really came in handy when Steve told me that he had called the beach where we had planned to get married at and they said that they fog was already coming in. For those of you not familiar with California fog, it really means a cold, windy wall of gray that envelops the coast so you can’t see anything. We decided to change our plans and just stay at the Inn instead.
Silvana took photos of me in our amazing suite. We ended up getting the best room in the house, a giant suite with a huge bathroom and a private balcony. It was better than I could ever have imagined. I was more nervous about having my picture taken than of getting married in a little while. I didn’t know what to do with my hands or my head or where to look. But Silvana was really wonderful, directing me when I needed it but otherwise just letting me relax and be me. I felt really comfortable with her, especially after I had to get her to help me put my top on over my hair about five minutes after I met her! A good ice breaker if there ever was one.
When it came time for the ceremony, Stephen, Joe, and Silvana got a spot ready up some steps on the hill by the Inn and I waited inside the room trying to figure out if I should carry my purse out with me or not (it was holding my vows). I ended up leaving it and just carrying my bouquet with the vows tucked in the middle. Cindi, the Innkeeper, suggested that she blast some music from our room so that I’d have walking out music. So when everyone was ready, she turned it up and walked out. We had a very cheesey moment as “Lady in Red” started playing just as I emerged (fitting since the top of my dress is red).
The ceremony went really well. Joe did a wonderful job of being serious and funny during his part, and Stephen and my vows went together really well even though we had written them separately and hadn’t shared them until that moment (he memorized his and I ended up just winging mine, not wanting to read from the paper–in all the commotion I had forgotten to read over it before the ceremony). Silvana did a wonderful job of taking beautiful, intimate photos without any of us even noticing she was there. Joe screwed up his one official officiant line he had to say, so we had to do a little do-over back down at the house. But that seemed right, too. Everything was lovely and perfect and we drank some delicious champagne courtesy of my cousins in France (thanks Coco and Mine!) while we took some couples photos and just relaxed and were silly.
After the ceremony Joe, Steve, and I hung out in the room and snacked and talked before we changed and drove to Berkeley to drop Joe off at his friend’s house for the night. Steve and I ate at our favorite sushi restaurant (Joshuya). It was amazingly delicious, as always. And then we went back to the Inn where there was a plate of delicious brownies (Cindi leaves treats all around the house!) and our giant room waiting for us.
It was really a perfect wedding day for us. Just what we wanted, even with all its hiccups. Joe and Steve were more nervous than I was, which seems right, too. And I couldn’t have been happier with my styling courtesy of the lovely ladies at the Castro Valley mall. Our photos are gorgeous, too. So important to us since we’re photo people and since we didn’t invite our friends and family. I highly recommend Silvana DiFranco Photography for anyone in the San Francisco area, or anywhere, really. She travels, too!
And now we’re in Tucson. Getting to know a new place and about to start a new adventure. It’s wonderful to sleep in the same place every night, to cook every day, to not be house guests anymore, and to have our cat Elizabeth back–who is just as fuzzy and vocal as ever.
I’m not sure if either of us has time to really process our trip yet. It was a giant undertaking. And I’m so glad we did it. It’s brought us closer to one another in so many ways. I don’t think I’d ever do it again, though. With all the great parts of it, it was also really challenging, exhausting, and sometimes not all that fun.
I plan on taking this blog and making it into a book along with the photos we took so that we have a more permanent keepsake from our trip. Maybe when that giant project is finished it’ll all seem more real.
It’ll be interesting to read what I’ve written this past year. I think I’ll remember a lot of things I had forgotten.
montarsig