Topsy Turvy
Prague, Czech Republic.
Things didn’t work out at the farm. Last week was a very stressful week for us. I got an email Sunday from one of the graduate schools I applied to saying they were missing something from my application, and that I had one week to turn it in. But they didn’t say what. I tried frantically emailing the woman to ask what it was I was missing (after checking online that everything was checked off as being done and that they’d received my transcripts). She didn’t respond. Finally on Wednesday I emailed her again and also the Graduate Division as a whole, and my Department. I also had Steve’s sister Laura call them, since I realized I had put her down as an authorized representative (smart thinking). Finally Laura got some answers. It seems they were missing my entire application (for the Graduate Division. The department’s application was mailed in and they received it). Pretty confusing when I could look at it online and see that it was both there and marked off as submitted. But it was some sort of computer glitch, and a couple of very nice people fixed the problem and everything is okay now. But I could’ve done and said not so nice things to the woman who didn’t respond to me until I wrote everyone else, too. I’m trying to tell myself that maybe she was out sick, but when she finally emailed me it wasn’t apologetic.
We also had a couple of blow outs at the farm that caused us to leave. In the end, it just wasn’t a good fit for us. We loved the work and we loved the farm, but we couldn’t live with the boss or the way he treated us. I think it was partly different work styles that caused problems (he was very impulsive and would change what we were doing in an instant and not explain to us what was going on. Not a big deal in some situations, but when you’re working with power tools, heavy stuff, and big animals it’s important to know what you’re doing when working in a team environment). But it was also just a general disrespect, I felt, for us as individuals. It was always very apparent that he was the boss, and was older than us (and thus wiser, about everything, obviously). Simple household tasks would become lessons and conversations would turn into one-sided lectures. I like learning new ways of doing things. Often there’s not one right way. But if I’ve just come home from a long, hard day working outside in the snow and someone starts teaching me how best (according to them) to make dinner while they’re sitting on their butt on the computer by the fire I just made, I’m gonna get a little cranky. But even all of this I think we could have put up with. There were two incidents that happened one day after the other that put us over the edge.
The first was last Tuesday. I was having a grumpy morning, stressed about my application. I decided to walk to work in the snow to blow off some steam and get a head start on cleaning the barn since the rest were a bit slow that morning. I was giving the horses their medicine when Bozidar and Silja came into the barn. Bozidar was obviously in a hurry about something and was tearing around the barn giving orders to Silja and basically ignoring me. He’d been gone most of the last week and didn’t realize I’d taken over barn duties from Silja. When I got a chance, I let him know that he needed to tell me about changes in the barn, not Silja, since it was my job. That went over fine, but then he took Dona out of the barn and gave her Stephen who was outside. Stephen had walked one horse to the horse pen once with Silja’s help. And now Bozidar was telling him to walk Dona, a very big horse, over to a new area where we were putting up a new fence (which was nowhere near being finished) and wait for the rest of us. Inside the barn, I was asking Silja what the hell was going on. All she knew was that we were taking the horses to the new area. Bozidar came back into the barn and grabbed Atilla and started out again. I was left with a choice between Mama or Manche. Manche is a tempermental teenager and Mama doesn’t really respect me. She was the first horse I ever did anything with, and she knows she can push me around (and she does).
We all walked out to the area where Steve was waiting with Dona. Dona is a very nice horse, and Steve was doing a good job with her. Now I was told that I needed to cross the creek. I didn’t have on my work boots. My feet had been hurting, so I was wearing my hiking boots. I was angry and exasperated and about to step in freezing cold water without proper foot protection. Mama and I made it across the stream without too much trouble and without my feet getting too wet. But in the meantime Bozidar had let go of Atilla and told Steve to do the same with Dona, and the two horses were running around and made it out of the unfinished fence. So now I was told to just hold onto Mama while they tried to get the horses. Mama didn’t want to be held onto. She was hungry and this wasn’t the routine and she wanted to run after the other two horses. So now I was being pulled by a horse and trying to stay calm (when I was furious) and keep the horse calm. I failed. Mama was starting to really hurt me, pulling on the robe I was holding, jerking her head around, and stepping on me. Silja saw that I was in trouble and came and got Mama and I left. I don’t know if I’ve ever been so mad at someone in my life. Putting me and Stephen into a position that we were not ready for, not giving us any instruction on what was going to happen, and all of this knowing full well that we were both a little afraid of horses and definitely not comfortable around them was just inexcusable. I went for an angry hike and Steve followed my footprints in the snow and we talked about what had happened and what we were going to do about it. It seems a meeting had been called for when I got back.
The meetings at the farm were supposed to be daily, morning check-ins where we’d say how we were feeling that day and what needed to be done. For a normal morning, they were fine. It was a structured circle with a talking stick so everyone had their chance. Bozidar led them, so was the defacto leader. I didn’t mind these meetings, but now I was furious and furious at the person leading the meeting. The meetings were supposed to be ‘safe places’ where we could speak honestly and trust each other to listen and respond respectfully. I wasn’t really ready for the meeting, and I didn’t trust Bozidar or particularly feel like having him dictate how I was allowed to speak about my anger (there were rules for the meetings). Eventually everyone spoke a little about what happened and Bozidar said he’d try to respect our work styles and give us more information next time we were going to do something different. He never apologized, which didn’t sit very well with me.
The next day, I was feeling crappy. I still hadn’t heard back from the graduate school lady, I hadn’t slept well the night before, and I really needed to just stay in bed and on the computer figuring out the school problem. But I went to work, letting everyone know that I was having a bad day and that I might need some help with things. When it came down to it, I did need some help with the horses. But no one could help me because they were busy helping Bozidar with something and when Steve told me he could help me at lunch Silja made a comment about how horses come first and they couldn’t wait. So I tried to do it on my own, and ended up getting scared with the horses and tripping. It was just a little thing. I wasn’t hurt. But it was one of those days where just something tiny will set you off, and so after talking with Steve I decided to go home and take care of what I needed to do there.
Later that night we had another meeting where Bozidar expressed anger towards Steve about forgetting to get him something when he was talking to me when I was upset. Why we had a meeting where Silja and I had to listen to Bozidar bitch at Steve instead of Bozidar just talking to Steve, I’ll never know. It seemed like a stupid way to get everyone uspet when we were already stressed from the day before. The confrontation went okay, though, at first. Steve handled it well and just explained to Bozidar that I needed him and that was more important than his goggles (and I would’ve added that he could’ve got the goggles himself once he realized Steve was taking a while). He also added that he wished he would’ve have remembered to bring the goggles when he came back to the house, but that he’d just forgotten. Bozidar then made some smartass comment which was just the last straw for Steve. After all the rules about how we were allowed to speak during these meetings and the importance of the safety of the meetings to have him make a mean, sarcastic comment was just too much. It was the last straw.
We decided that night that we were volunteering to learn but also to have a good time. In the end we didn’t like the people we were working and living with. I think if we weren’t living with them, we might have been able to make it through the two months. If something like what happened with the horses didn’t happen again. When I feel like being fair, I think that Bozidar was a generally nice guy who was lazy and liked having people cooking, cleaning and doing his laundry but didn’t want to live with his mother or his wife (apparently he is married, I never did find out about that). When I don’t feel like being fair, I think he was a controlling jerk who enjoyed having people around who were dependent on him and so then who he felt he could boss around. The truth is probably somewhere in the middle. He was generally a nice guy. When he spoke he talked a lot about respecting people and being mindful and always being conscious of the dangerous work you were doing. But his actions said the opposite–throwing things down through a hole in the floor after calling us to come pick up stuff there (and hitting me on the head with some plastic), having us wait on steps while he pushed a heavy barrel down to us but not first having us try to lift the barrel to make sure we could handle the weight, and not respecting our inexperience and fear of giant, dangerous animals.
I still think that we could have had a nice WWOOF experience somewhere. And I think some people might have a great time with Bozidar. But it wasn’t right for us. We thought about maybe contacting one of the other WWOOF places in Greece, but in the end we’re both just tired. Traveling down to Greece to try out another place after this place is so fresh in our minds didn’t sound like a good idea. And continuing with our traveling plans for Eastern Europe also sounds daunting and no fun since it’s freezing cold. So, we’ve decided to cut our trip short. We’re no longer really enjoying traveling or appreciating the new places we’re going to. We’re excited about getting married and moving once we get back to the states for graduate school. We have other life things that are just more exciting for us now than traveling. So it’s time to call it quits.
Right now we’re in Prague. We did a lot of adjustments to our plans while spending a few days in Zagreb. That city was the most expensive place we’ve gone to so far. More expensive, even, then Florence. But it was a pretty city with a nice layout and we stayed in a nice room in a sweet woman’s house. The tourist information place was very helpful with recommending cheap places to stay, and I’d highly recommend them for accomodation help in Zagreb or, I assume, around Croatia since they were also helpful in Zadar.
We took a night bus to Prague last night. It went pretty well. I slept a lot, which was good. And we’ve now entered the EU so no more border crossings and passport stamping until we’re back in the states. We’ve researched flights and different plans for once we’re back in the States in order to visit my family in Pennsylvania and my mom and friends in Alabama. Tickets are looking like they’re going to be really cheap, so that’s great. We’re not going to have time to get married in Berlin, so we’ve sadly scrapped that plan. But we’re still going to have the wedding parties with all of our families and friends and we’ll get married on our own in California once our clothes arrive (we’ll have to wait for them to get to Berlin and then to California). And then moving! So lots of exciting stuff coming up. We’re still going to stop in Germany to see our friends and France to visit my family, so we’ll still be traveling for the next couple of months just seeing people.
We both feel good about the decision to go home early. We won’t make it a year around the world, but who cares. We’ve still had a great time, learned a lot, and traveled for longer than I ever thought was possible for me financially or otherwise.
Tags: croatia, WWOOF
montarsig
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