You can bet it will happen this Christmas!
I looked at the calendar today and realized that it was exactly 7 months ago today that I left on my trip. Back then I was just a scraggly, nieve, horny, mommas boy, how things haven’t changed. I am now just 5 weeks away from my grand return. I have thought alot about how things will be when I get home. How will I adjust? Will people be happy to see me? Will I find a job? Will I find a place to live? OK, I haven’t really thought about these things but I may at some point in my life. Anyway I figured that I could make things exciting for me and the rest of you by placing some odds one some of the things that may or may not happen when I return home. Here goes nothing.
Here are the odds on my parents asking me about a job:
Asking me at Baggage Claim – Even Money
Asking me in the airport parking lot – 2 to 1
Asking me on the drive back home – 5 to 1
Asking me while I am doing my best impression of Chernobyl (taking a crap) right after I walk in the door – 250 to 1
Here are the odds about the first fight we will have due to my being at home:
Leaving my shoes near the door – Even Money
Leaving dirty laundry on the floor in my room – Even Money
Refusing to mow the lawn – 20 to 1 ( I know it will be December but don’t count it out, could be a good pay out.)
Telling my parents I am gonna do Volunteer work – 5 to 1
Broken TV Remote – 5 to 1
Me Sleeping too late – 50 to 1
These next bets are based on events that could happen during the Christmas Holiday season at our house…this is the easiest money in the world.
Christmas being ruined by either me or one of my brothers – Even Money
My brother Jeff pulling a knife on my dad during the holiday season – 100 to 1 (if it happened once it can happen again.)
My parents fighting over the size of the tree and or dryness of it – Even Money
Tom coming home drunk and stoned and getting yelled at by my parents – Even Money (2nd Easiest bet on the board)Tom farting during Christmas mass – 5 to 1 (the x factor here is if he is sober enough to make it to church…i would risk it.)
My dog maggie humping someones leg – Even Money ( This is way to easy for you.)
Me strongly considering a drug habit – Even Money
Me starting my drug habit – 500 to 1
Betting closes on the 16th of December…Think long and hard about. If there are other things that you would like odds on please let me know and I will post them.
Tags: Travel
Gagnonius
Brian,
That was one of the best posts yet. I am calling Vinnie the Nose and laying some serious action on a few including:
Odds you and I yell at one another over something in the news errrrrrrrr Washington DC: Even Money
Odds you and I will talk about Jim Rome for an hour while Alysha half heartedly listens: 7 to 2
Odds you try and start something with Tom and your dad yells at you two to “knock it off.”- 5 to 3. (Happens EVERY time I’m over.)
Odds I can get Jeff to tell me the broken wrist basketball story- I don’t know but I can only hope!
Late.
-Mark
I dont know Mark, I’ve been lifting I don’t think Brian wants a piece of me
Oh and by the way if anyone over 21 would like a ride to the liquer store I will be more than happy to give them one
Brian: I haven’t been keeping up but that was quite funny. I’m not putting any money into bets but I will bet you a couple home cooked meals. Will you be looking for work in MA or CA?? Either way it will be great to see you again, look at photos and hear stories in the first person. NEWS FLASH: Carey and Brian are getting married in May. Hint: Carey May getting married in May.nrnrWe are well and looking forward to the Holidays. Just got back ffom a rather pleasant 9 days in WI for a nephews’ wedding. Grandpa Lena behaved for the most part, it was 27 degrees at night and I almost kidnapped my 3 month old nephew, who is just adorable.nrnrCan’t wait to see you. Be safe.nrLove, Fran