Oh Crap-tain my Crap-tain!
I’m certainly not much of poet. The only thing me and Henry Wadsworth have in common is our longfellows…(insert laugh track here.) However i figured this subject deserved a poem. Here goes nothing.
It’s that time of night where I start to feel
the need to go out and have a great meal
I sat down to order without hesitation
I’ll soon be invaded by an infectious nation.
As I finish my food I then start to mumble
It’s my stomach that’s churning and starting to rumble
I then got the sensation but thought what would it cost
if i pushed out to hard i’d have gambled and lost!
I staggered to my feet and looked around
but there was no toilet to be found.
I then started to run with my head held lower
I’m moved through crowds like my dad’s lawn mower.
If I can’t find one soon i’ll definitely frown
as the stain in my draws will most certainly be brown.
At last there’s a sign, hovering above
A toilet is near, someone showed me some love.
I run for the door, moving at full throttle
I’ll soon be serenaded by an empty ketchup bottle.
I quickly sit down, and scream and shout
Oh lord please it all better come out.
As my insides move out there are many reliefs
the happiest of all is probably my briefs.
As the chaos ends I wipe sweat from my brow
the odor is awful I must get out of here now.
As I walk back to the world I feel like a new man
a close call like that was not in the plan.
I’ve got to be more careful the next time I eat
or the food that I swallow will be down by my feet.
Let this be a lesson to all of you here
Oh crap-tain my craptain will mess up your rear!
I hope you enjoyed the poem. I would also like to know if anyone has any good book recommendations. I just finished my book so im looking for something else to occupy my time. I don’t want anything political. Hopefully some good fiction or some good travel writing books or something like that. Ive also posted some more photos on the other web page so go check those out as well. Bye for now!
Tags: Singapore
Gagnonius
Oh my darling…you are so poetic….. can’t wait for your next posts.
Brian,
sheer cl.ass
As for books, have you read Vernon God Little. Judging by the above, you could have written it. See you in Hong Kong…assuming you have recovered.
So the food is good? As for books I don’t read much fiction…but I did like some of Dan Browns books. I liked Deception Point the best.
To hear your story of your skittery fart
Really touched my scottish heart
I hope your poops will harden soon
If not your pants will be affa broon
Book wise anything by Bill Bryson is worth a read, also Pete McCarthy is a decent travel writer. You might also like Dave Gorman’s Googlewhack Adventure.
keep the stories coming min.
Brian, so great. such talent.
so i heard you have had some interesting dreams lately. you sound good. look forward to hearing more. dan
Nice poem Bri, real classy
Hope your enjoying southeast asia, i want to see some great pictures of non-caged animals. stay safe
love,
tom
p.s. i was watching ESPN classic the other day of the 1987 nba finals and i saw Greg Kite take down nine rebounds. I thought you said he was a stiff? haha
The Dharma Bums is a great book. It’s the sequel to On The Road which…since you’re travelling, I’m sure you brought with you.
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