Jenny…They’re sending me to Vietnam!
So let’s catch up on the happenings of the past week…shall we? From Nha Trang Me, Andy, and our Kiwi friends, Amy, Kim, and Lisa (Lil’), all headed north to Hoi An. Hoi An is a cozy little colonial city about 500 Kilometers north of Nha Trang. It is famous for it’s tailors. I definitely do not enjoy shopping but was tempted by the low…low…prices! These places will make absolutely anything for you. You can get suits, jackets, shirts, pants, shorts, dresses, you name it. I decided to indulge. For just under $60 U.S. i got a chocolate brown winter jacket, very stylish i must say indeed, and i got a pair of jeans and another pair of khaki pants made. You can’t beat the prices. You pick out what you want and the next morning it’s done. You go back to try it on and they will make any alterations you want within an hour or two…amazing efficiency. The clothes themselves are alot cheaper than you would pay but having them tailored and fitted exactly the way you want them is freaking awesome. Mom…please tell me your proud…i finnally got a winter jacket. You might be able to take me out in public now…aren’t you happy?
After Hoi An we headed north to Hue…not much to see here so that’s why we only stayed one night. We wanted to head north to Hanoi so we had time to go to Halong Bay and to check out the city. We had to endure another 12+ hour overnight bus ride from Hue to Hanoi. These bus rides as i’ve explained are horrible. Knowing you have to take them is like knowing you have to go to the dentist to get teeth pulled. You’ll feel better when it’s done but the process is agonizing.
The bus pulled up to our hotel with the words “Camel Travel” written on the side…this would be an omen. As we would find out later, we could have gotten to Hanoi faster if we were on Camels. We placed our bags underneath and waited for the door to be opened. It was freaking hot outside and the idiot bus driver sat there and would not open the bus until the guy sorting out our bags was done…what a loser! As we waited to get in i turned to Andy and said:
“I don’t have a good feeling about this bus ride.”
He said:
“Relax..it’s early.”
The bus pulled away. Andy sat in the last row with the Kiwi’s and I sat one row in front. The bus ride was going extremely smooth…almost too smooth. The A/C was blasting. We were laughing and playing games in the back. Time was flying by…and then it happened. I crapped my pants…ok, that didn’t happen, but that would have made the whole thing even worse. The bus pulled over on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. People got out. I took a piss, while I was surrounded by woman squatting everywhere doing the same. The back panel was opened and the bus driver was looking at something in the engine. A few minutes later we were back on and all seemed fine. Then another stop a few minutes later. Same thing happened. The back panel was opened and they were all looking inside with a worried look. The thing about the people here in Vietnam is they can fix anything. When andy crashed his motorbike a guy fixed it with amazing efficiency. We figured they could do the same for the bus. As we got on the bus again and it pulled away, Andy said the following:
“When do you think we’ll stop again…I say 1:25.”
The time when he said that was just before midnight. No lying the bus came to a halt again at 1:25 on the nose…Andy called it. For the next 5 hours we would sit there without having any clue what was going on and when we would be leaving. Our bus driver was gone and soon so would our sanity.
We all got off the bus and tried to sleep on the pavement…didn’t work. We tried to play some cards, that worked for a little while. We tried to sleep again on the bus, and some were able to fall asleep. As the hours ticked by I kept thinking to myself:
“What the hell am i doing here?”
“Will we ever get out of here alive?”
I thought maybe I had done something wrong…I thought that old man potter may be at the root of the problem.
Then I shouted:
“I wanna live again…I wanna live again.”
Ok, once again, this didn’t happen. The quote of the night actually came from Lisa or Lil as we call her. Sometime just before sunrise when all was quiet she said the following:
“I could go for some Lasagne.”
You could go for some Lasagne? Are you kidding me. We had been trapped on a bus for almost 5 hours in the middle of nowhere and all you could think about was Lasagne?
I’ve learned to become very patient and very tolerant on my trip but this bus ride pushed me and I think everyone else to the limit. I thought about ways I could get out of here.
Should I commit a crime? Would anyone be able to arrest me? Should I run around naked screaming, “It’s the apocalypse…save yourselves.” Should I grab a chick and make out with her so that if it was the apocalypse at least I could say that I made out with a chick at least once? Should I start a militia and try to flip the bus over and light it on fire? Should I start crying and foaming at the mouth so that everyone would stay away from me?
Well…I did non of those things. At just around 6 in the morning, shortly after sunrise, our bus driver returned and somehow fixed the bus and we were off to Hanoi. We arrived in Hanoi just around 1:30 in the afternoon. We had turned a bus ride from 12 hours into almost 20…holy schneikes.
At the end of the day we made it. I couldn’t tell you how many buses we passed that were overturned, in a ditch or broken down like we were. I have to be grateful. The plan now is to head to Halong Bay. I fly to Hong Kong on the 29th.
Those of you who have met my friend Mark Lynch…he is getting married on the 29th. Mark is an active poster on the blog. If you would like to wish him well, you can do so on the blog.
Thank You…and goodnight now!
Tags: Halong Bay, Ho Chi Minh, Hoi An, Nha Trang, Vietnam
Gagnonius
I am very impressed with your shopping savvy. Now remember what you learned… If there is anything wrong with the coat or pants and you do not have your receipt, you just go back to Nha Trang and you buy another coat or pair of pants. Then return the damaged one with the new receipt. Just wait a few days to do the return so they don’t get suspicious. Works like a charm every time. I hope while you are doing all this great shopping you are thinking of me. I had a dream about you last night. You came home and told me you did not know if you could continue with the trip. You were just not sure it was the right thing to do. You said it was more difficult than you had expected. I told you that you needed to follow through with your commitment because you would regret it later. Then I said, “wait until you get to Hong Kong.”
Maybe I was having that dream around the same time you were on that bus ride. Who knows?
Love,
mom
OMG – it never fails that i get on my computer…pull up your blog and you have me rolling!!! You should be a comedian! ALl is well here in Texas…. i start up work this week (BOO!) and still wish you would hurry up and come back and live in Texas forever…you, me, Eric and Sophie…one big happy paligamist life! Can’t you just see our Catholic mothers smile from ear to ear!!
love you!!!
alice
Since you’ve been in the Vietnam jungle, if you were going to be one of the characters from Platoon, which one would you be? Are you the savvy veteran commander like Willem Defoe or the more reckless bloodthirsty type like Tom Berrenger. Or better…Jimbo or Ned from South Park (it’s coming right for us!)? Private Cowboy from Full Metal Jacket (Hopefully not the fat guy that blows his head off in the can.)?
Seriously though, where are you keeping all of the stuff you buy on this trip? Are you lugging it around with you from place to place? FedEx’ing it back home to the States? I’m thinking you’re not going to need that winter jacket for a long time.
This week’s sign of the apocalypse is that the Detroit Tigers have hit #1 in ESPN’s MLB power-rankings. There are rumors that the Chi Sox are putting together a deal for Soriano as well. Where the hell did the AL Central come from anyway? The Rocket’s 7th start is tomorrow night against Cincinatti. If they can’t run off a few wins against the Reds and move closer in the Wild Card you can stick a fork in the Astros–they’re done.
Mark and Alysha,
We just want to send you our very best on you wedding day. I know Brian is sorry he cannot be there. He was honored you asked him to be in your wedding. Just picture him there all handsome in a tuxedo (probably home made in Vietnam) and know that his thoughts are with you both.
We hope you have a perfect day in every way possible and we look forward to seeing all the wedding pictures when Brian gets home.
Love,
Mrs. G
How come you haven’t started a “Gagnon’s Girls Gone Wild Third World Country” Taping yet?
Where are the pics of these places at? We need pictures
Brian,
This is my last post until after the wedding. Still not worried and not feeling any pressure, I may have ice water in my veins. Anyways I got through on Rome twice today. I will put both emails below. The second one Andrew Siciliano stopped reading and said I’m not reading the rest of that on air and crumpled it up. I will not read Donnie Moore emails. I was rolling! I’m going to try to get on zero tolerance Friday tommorow if possible. I may have access to the net and will be checking in. I’m looking forward to talking to you on Saturday, I’m leaving the phone on vibrate with Moisan in case you call during the service. 5 EST in case you want to be there via phone. Thank you very much for your well wishes Mrs. Gagnon.
Take care and I will talk to you all in August.
Late.
-Mark
Andrew,
I don’t trust those Mullet sporting, flannel wearing hosers at all!!! I can hear them at night sharpening their skates planning their invasion. Too bad we’d crush them!
-Mark from Beantown
WAR Us being the World Police
Andrew,
You know those scumbags that are in the sports memoribilla game are all over that urinal from Fenway. I already bought such things like Donnie Moore’s gun, Thurman Munson’s unused parachute, and Billy Martin’s steering wheel.
Regards,
-Mark from Beantown
WAR Your Godfather 2 Reference where your childeren play with you’re their toys.
Eric Dane Picture
I Googled for something completely different, but found your page…and have to say thanks. nice read.