Get Busy Livin or Get Busy Dyin!

So after our grueling bus ride we finnally arrived in Hanoi. How convenient is it that after you sit on a bus for almost 20 hours you then get dropped off at a garage full of bags of sand only to be told the only way to get into the city is by going to the hotel owned by the travel company. If you didn’t want to stay there you were on your own…now that is service. We reluctantly gave in because we were all so damn tired. This place would have made a dungeon look like a 5 star hotel but the price was ok and it was clean.

The next task was to organize an excursion to World Famous Halong Bay. The prices and the quality for these trips can vary dramatically. Basically you get what you pay for but there is always room for bargaining. We ended up going with the travel company based out of our hotel. It would be a 3 day 2 night trip to Halong Bay. It would include a night of accomodation on the boat and in a hotel on Cat Bai Island and all meals. The total price was around $49 and after we haggled we got it down to $44. The lady we dealt with was very difficult. She agreed on the price with us and then when it came down to handing over money she also threw in that there would be an exclusion from the trip. There was another island we thought we would visit but apparently that was out of the question. One of the most frustrating things, and it seemed to happen more in Vietnam, was that along with language barriers you constantly felt like you were being lied to and having things kept from you. It always seemed like you would be told whatever you wanted in order for you to say yes and open your wallet. We came to an agreement with the lady that we would pay half of the trip up front and then the rest when we came back. She said if we were not happy we would not have to pay for the rest of the trip. We didn’t want that to happen, mostly because we knew if we said we didnt’ like it they would make us pay anyway and because we wanted it to be a good trip.
Ultimately we knew we were down to our last couple of days in Vietnam and we wanted to enjoy them. The next day we were picked up at our hotel and were whisked away to Halong Bay. After the 3 hour bus ride we arrived to the sight of about 100 to 150 boats all piled into one tiny little harbor with hundreds of tourists being turned every which way. It made everything look that much more confusing. We had a very nice english speaking guide named Thin who took good care of us. In order for us to get on the boat we had to walk across several others, it was quite a task. We finnally made it to our boat and we were all pleasantly surprised. After the disaster in Nha Trang our expectations were extremely low.

The boat had three levels. On the top were some deck chairs where you could sit out and lounge. In the middle was a dining area and down below were the rooms. The boat looked like it had logged some miles at sea but was still chugging right along. We had lunch on the boat which was fantastic. Me and the Kiwi girls elected to go the vegetarian route and were once again pleasantly surprised with the quality and quantity of food. As we ate we made our way out to the bay. The views in Halong Bay are absolutely off the charts. Giant Limestone cliffs just rise right out of the emerald green water. They are covered with lush green vegetation and it truly makes for a spectacular site.

After lunch we visited some caves which were quite a sight as well. All in all things were going better than expected. After the caves the boat cruised over to an island for us to go swimming and to get some sunset shots of the Bay. We were so hot all we wanted to do was get in the water. The boat pulled up we jumped off, put our things down and immediately got in the water. The water was filled with Vietnamese tourists all wearing life jackets. You would think that living in a country that has almost 2,000 miles of coastline would make for alot of people who could swim, but it obviously doesn’t. The swim was great. Me and Andy threw the “Grid-Iron” as he calls it, or the football around. After we got out we were informed by a Scottish guy who was on our boat that he saw a “Joby” float by or a baby ruth as you might refer to it as…priceless.

After the swim I hiked up to the top of the mountain on the island and got some great views of the Bay…i’m posting them on the site as we speak, so go check them out after you read the posts.

That night on the boat we had a great meal. We then sat up on the top deck had a few drinks, chatted about life and then was entertained by the galaxy above. Some of the best views of stars i’ve seen in a while. I counted at least 5 or so shooting stars, all of them lit up the sky. I made a wish on each one of them. Subsequently the next day when I took a shower I was utterly disappointed when I saw that non of them had come true.
The next day we headed for Cat Bai Island with some sore heads. We did a hike up another peak…sweated are you know what’s off and then headed for the hotel. The hotel was nice. Me and Andy fell asleep and missed the Kayak portion of the trip but oh well…we were tired and had HBO in our room so we got to watch some movies.

That night we went down and had dinner in the hotel around 7. Earlier at lunch an Israeli guy and his wife were sitting at the table with me and the girls. Me and the girls had to sit together cause we were eating vegetarian and for whatever reason this guy and his wife were there as well. This guy was unhappy at lunch because he said they didn’t have the food he wanted. He was assured that at dinner things would be rectified. When we got to dinner he instantly started complaining.

“Where is the meat…we don’t have any meat again. I don’t want seafood, I want meat.”

Then he proceeded to say the dumbest thing in recorded history.

“What about fish, why are we not getting any fish?”

My brain almost melted. The guy serving the food looked at him tottally confused and said:

“Fish comes from the sea…you say you don’t want seafood.”

He ultimately insisted that fish was not seafood. “Ask Anyone.” He said. “Fish is not seafood, it is meat.” I almost jumped in and put my two cents in but I didn’t. What a complete loser. I felt like it was when you tell someone you are vegetarian and then they ask you immediately if you eat chicken. Since when is chicken not meat and fish not seafood…what the hell is the world coming too?

The next few days were spent on Cat Bai Island. We moved to a different and cheaper hotel across the street and spent most of the time on the beach. I took a day to myself and paid a few dollars to go sit by a nice pool and read while the others hit the beach. Cat Bai Island was not one of the best places i’d ever been too. It was tottally full of Vietnamese tourists and there wasn’t much english to be spoken.

I’d describe the place in this way. For the vietnamese my guess is that for your summer holiday you go to Halong Bay and spend a few days on Cat Bai Island. For us as kids it would be maybe Hampton Beach or go up to the mountains up in New Hampshire. You usually have a good time but when you go back to school and play the “Where did you go for summer Vacation,” game you are certainly not the first kid to raise your hand.

I really enjoyed the time spent out in Halong Bay and on Cat Bai Island. It was relaxing and time well spent with Andy and the girls. It was a nice way to wrap up the trip. However all was not over. We still had to get back to Hanoi and deal with the Lady. During the time on the Island she had called the girls in their room repeatedly and told them we all needed to pay for the rest of the trip now. We refused and then she threatened to tell the hotel to hold our passports until we did. We refused once again. The problem was we checked out of the hotel the trip had us in because we were staying the few extra nights and it was too expensive, this made her think we would ditch on the bill.

When we arrived back in Hanoi we were all tired and just wanted to get into our rooms that we had already reserved when we left. The lady greeted us and of course insisted on payment right away. She was so annoying and so rude it was unbelievable. She spoke english well enough to say, “Give me my money,” however when you told her how annoying it was that she kept harrasing us she then didn’t understand. I told her I would pay her when they would give us our room and she didn’t like that. We reserved the rooms 4 days prior and they weren’t ready. Then we were informed we’d be moving to another hotel because the rooms were not available. It took alot to not want to tell this lady where to go but it ultimately doesn’t do any good and would only make you more mad.

We moved to our new hotel and left it at that.

So let’s catch up on the happenings of the past week…shall we? From Nha Trang Me, Andy, and our Kiwi friends, Amy, Kim, and Lisa (Lil’), all headed north to Hoi An. Hoi An is a cozy little colonial city about 500 Kilometers north of Nha Trang. It is famous for it’s tailors. I definitely do not enjoy shopping but was tempted by the low…low…prices! These places will make absolutely anything for you. You can get suits, jackets, shirts, pants, shorts, dresses, you name it. I decided to indulge. For just under $60 U.S. i got a chocolate brown winter jacket, very stylish i must say indeed, and i got a pair of jeans and another pair of khaki pants made. You can’t beat the prices. You pick out what you want and the next morning it’s done. You go back to try it on and they will make any alterations you want within an hour or two…amazing efficiency. The clothes themselves are alot cheaper than you would pay but having them tailored and fitted exactly the way you want them is freaking awesome. Mom…please tell me your proud…i finnally got a winter jacket. You might be able to take me out in public now…aren’t you happy?

After Hoi An we headed north to Hue…not much to see here so that’s why we only stayed one night. We wanted to head north to Hanoi so we had time to go to Halong Bay and to check out the city. We had to endure another 12+ hour overnight bus ride from Hue to Hanoi. These bus rides as i’ve explained are horrible. Knowing you have to take them is like knowing you have to go to the dentist to get teeth pulled. You’ll feel better when it’s done but the process is agonizing.

The bus pulled up to our hotel with the words “Camel Travel” written on the side…this would be an omen. As we would find out later, we could have gotten to Hanoi faster if we were on Camels. We placed our bags underneath and waited for the door to be opened. It was freaking hot outside and the idiot bus driver sat there and would not open the bus until the guy sorting out our bags was done…what a loser! As we waited to get in i turned to Andy and said:

“I don’t have a good feeling about this bus ride.”

He said:

“Relax..it’s early.”

The bus pulled away. Andy sat in the last row with the Kiwi’s and I sat one row in front. The bus ride was going extremely smooth…almost too smooth. The A/C was blasting. We were laughing and playing games in the back. Time was flying by…and then it happened. I crapped my pants…ok, that didn’t happen, but that would have made the whole thing even worse. The bus pulled over on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. People got out. I took a piss, while I was surrounded by woman squatting everywhere doing the same. The back panel was opened and the bus driver was looking at something in the engine. A few minutes later we were back on and all seemed fine. Then another stop a few minutes later. Same thing happened. The back panel was opened and they were all looking inside with a worried look. The thing about the people here in Vietnam is they can fix anything. When andy crashed his motorbike a guy fixed it with amazing efficiency. We figured they could do the same for the bus. As we got on the bus again and it pulled away, Andy said the following:

“When do you think we’ll stop again…I say 1:25.”

The time when he said that was just before midnight. No lying the bus came to a halt again at 1:25 on the nose…Andy called it. For the next 5 hours we would sit there without having any clue what was going on and when we would be leaving. Our bus driver was gone and soon so would our sanity.

We all got off the bus and tried to sleep on the pavement…didn’t work. We tried to play some cards, that worked for a little while. We tried to sleep again on the bus, and some were able to fall asleep. As the hours ticked by I kept thinking to myself:

“What the hell am i doing here?”

“Will we ever get out of here alive?”

I thought maybe I had done something wrong…I thought that old man potter may be at the root of the problem.

Then I shouted:

“I wanna live again…I wanna live again.”

Ok, once again, this didn’t happen. The quote of the night actually came from Lisa or Lil as we call her. Sometime just before sunrise when all was quiet she said the following:

“I could go for some Lasagne.”

You could go for some Lasagne? Are you kidding me. We had been trapped on a bus for almost 5 hours in the middle of nowhere and all you could think about was Lasagne?

I’ve learned to become very patient and very tolerant on my trip but this bus ride pushed me and I think everyone else to the limit. I thought about ways I could get out of here.

Should I commit a crime? Would anyone be able to arrest me? Should I run around naked screaming, “It’s the apocalypse…save yourselves.” Should I grab a chick and make out with her so that if it was the apocalypse at least I could say that I made out with a chick at least once? Should I start a militia and try to flip the bus over and light it on fire? Should I start crying and foaming at the mouth so that everyone would stay away from me?

Well…I did non of those things. At just around 6 in the morning, shortly after sunrise, our bus driver returned and somehow fixed the bus and we were off to Hanoi. We arrived in Hanoi just around 1:30 in the afternoon. We had turned a bus ride from 12 hours into almost 20…holy schneikes.

At the end of the day we made it. I couldn’t tell you how many buses we passed that were overturned, in a ditch or broken down like we were. I have to be grateful. The plan now is to head to Halong Bay. I fly to Hong Kong on the 29th.

Those of you who have met my friend Mark Lynch…he is getting married on the 29th. Mark is an active poster on the blog. If you would like to wish him well, you can do so on the blog.

Thank You…and goodnight now!