We are making a last ditch effort to get out and see as much as we can before we leave China. I went to a travel agent today to enquire about flights home and picked up a few brochures.

I came home and checked out a few of the websites for places that seemed a possibility. One particular place Qingxin looked like it would be a great place to go for our 5 day New Year break, there are caves, water falls, hot springs, paintball, minority groups and a massage type resort place. It looked great, we could get around easily and everything was contained in one resort place. The brochure even had a little English in it. The website even had a tab for English language - this just took you to a different coloured Chinese page so I bit the bullet and telephoned them.

The conversation went something like this.

Jo: Hello Do you speak English?
Receptionist: A little.
Jo: OK I'd like to know some information about your resort.
Receptionist: Our resort???
Jo: Yes this is Qingxin Resort?
Receptionist: Yes Qingxin
Jo: Can I have your email?

Shift Manager: Can I help you?
Jo: Yes can I have your email?
SM: What's your email number?
Jo: No can I have your email number?
SM: What's your email number?
Jo: Sensing this was going no where and hoping they would understand letters -J
SM: J
Jo: O
SM: A
Jo: No Ohhhhhh
SM: A
Jo: No Ohhhhhh
SM: E
Jo: No this isn't working, can I have your email number?
SM: Then proceeds to misspell the resorts website.

The one I am already looking at, the one with no English at all.

Jo: Can I have your email number? That is your website. Kan bu dong (I can't read Chinese)
SM: Yes, again the same website misspelled again.
Jo: OK I want to visit your hotel, how much is a room?
SM: Room?
Jo: Yes now speaking in Chinese. I live in Zhaoqing, I want to come to Qingxin. I want some information, how much is a room, how much is a swim. What bus should I catch?
SM: Oh wait a moment, a swim is 20 yuan per person
Jo: A swim is 20 yuan per person
SM: Yes a swim is 90 yuan per person
Jo: How much is a room?
SM: I will get the tariff. Wait a moment
Jo: OK, I will wait
SM: Sorry I don't know
Jo: You don't know? Can I speak to the boss?

Boss: How can I help you?
Jo: Can I have your email address?
Boss: Why do you want that?
Jo: It doesn't matter, your company is shyte and I won't be coming. Goodbye!

Jo then screws up the pamphlet and Trev assumes we aren't going there anymore. Trev tells Jo she should ROAR to get it out of her system.

Jo ROARS loudly, then bursts out laughing.