The First World Isn’t Funny
After almost 10 months in Asia, our arrival in Australia was a bit surreal. All the white people…all of the big, fat white people…it was a real shock to the system. We’ve grown accustomed to not really understanding what anyone says, eating weird food, and generally being the largest humans within a 1km radius. We found comfort in our minority status, usually in the form of freely making comments in English that no one else could understand. JR has shushed me about 12 times here in “Oz”.
We landed in Cairns, on the coast of Northeast Australia. Cairns is like the average touristy beach town in Florida, aka my worst nightmare. We quickly booked a snorkel trip on the Great Barrier Reef for 2 days and 1 night. Shortly after we boarded Reef Encounter, we found out that we could stay on the boat for free, in exchange for some light labor. So, we spent 4 days on the boat, snorkeling and diving 2-3 times per day at different areas of the Reef, in exchange for about 4 hours/day of work. We served the paying passengers, did laundry and made beds. Cleaning the bathrooms grossed me out (um, other people’s pubes? Sick. And you’d be amazed at the people who leave turds in the toilet. The nerve.) but other than that it was a piece of cake.
Neither JR or I had ever gone scuba diving before. We went on an introductory dive with another beginner and an instructor. JR was fine, but I had an underwater anxiety attack and didn’t make it. I felt like a loser, considering there were 90-year olds who didn’t seem to have any issues. The next day, with the help of a very good looking ex-professional football player turned diving instructor, I conquered my fear and spent a half hour 30 feet below the surface. It was awesome. Like an out of body experience…I didn’t feel human. I didn’t feel like a fish either…so I guess I felt like an underwater camera with fins. Diving was an instant addiction…I went again the next day and now I can’t stop thinking about it.
Back on land, we flew the next day to Uluru (aka Ayers Rock) in the Outback. It was basically an enormous rock in the middle of the desert, and we only went since we had the extra flights. The locals said it hadn’t rained since last March. Funny, since it rained the whole time we were there. We arrived and booked a van to take us to the Olgas, another set of huge rocks, with the intent of doing the 8km hike. We rode along with 2 other couples. By the time we arrived, it was thundering and lightening. The other couples decided to skip the hike, but we acted tough “Oh..just a little rain” and got out as the van drove away. We lasted 30 minutes, the trail became way too slippery and we chickened out. Then we had to wait, in the rain, for another 2 1/2 hours for the goddamn van to come back for us. It was freezing, raining, and generally miserable. A slice of hell.
Note on the Outback: I found it hilarious that in the middle of the desert, restaurants still mispelled dessert as desert.
Within 24 hours we were in Melbourne, with blue skies and sunshine. We stayed with a woman we met in Laos. We had drinks with her one night in Vientiane, kept in touch, and ended up invading her Melbourne home for 4 days and 5 nights. Our visit coincided with the Melbourne Cup, the equine event dubbed ‘The Race the Stops the Nation’. JR looked dashing in a $15 suit from a second hand store, and I borrowed a dress and wore a feather apparatus in my hair. It was a blast–a smidge more fun than our day of wine tasting and kangaroo petting.
So, there you have it. No naked old ladies or anything else funny.
Tags: Australia, Ayers Rock, Cairns, Great Barrier Reef, Melbourne, Travel
brooke.pearson8
Hey Guys! I am an old friend of JR, and I have been tracking your guys progress over the last few days. You make me jealous! I am sitting in my cubicle and looking at your pictures wondering how long it will be before I finally crack and hit the open road. I looked at your itinerary and noticed no stops in Africa. I was just in Tanzania on a climb on Kilimanjaro, and if you haver time, I HIGHLY recommend it. Dont let this opportunity pass you by. I had to train up for it, but the summit of the highest point in Africa is worth it, trust me. JR, hit me up sometime and I will send along some pics. Hope you both stay safe!
thanks for the update and all of the pictures. what are your plans regarding coming/visiting back in the states? Jake is moved out, your mom turns 47 next week. quite a time back here. K
Hi Joe. Thanks for the Africa tip. Were the chicks hot there or what?
We’ll be home in time for Christmas. Deep depression to hit by NYE.
Depression by NYE? Give me a break kid….I think my nearly over the hill ( in girl life) pending age change was just announced to the world! OMG.
Counting the days till I can hug you….40 days and 40 nights? Michigan and your marm are waiting with open arms! xoxo marm