Getting Naked With Japanese Grandmas
The Japanese are dead serious about maintaining their cultural traditions. Traditions haven’t become heritage- they’re a part of daily life. There are actual women walking around in kimonos, albeit clutching a Gucci bag and chatting on a rhinestone-bedazzled cell phone.
A long held Japanese tradition are regular visits to onsens. Onsens are bath houses with different soaking tubs and saunas. We went to Fukaoka Onsen in Kyoto at 3pm on a Thursday. We rented a towel, bought a bar of soap, and walked through separate doorways marked for men and women.
Three steps inside I was surrounded by elderly women. Grandmas. And they were naked. I walked over to a locker and began to disrobe. Two sisters from Australia walked in, and we took care of introductions and formalities in the buff.
The Head Old Naked Lady showed us where to wash up. We squatted and sat on small overturned plastic bowls, in front of hot and cold water taps. (Sitting on a bowl 3 inches off the ground isn’t an attractive stance when nude.) After the three of us scrubbed down while giggling uncomfortably, Head Old Naked Lady gave us the signal to enter.
The first pool was really hot-but felt good after a few minutes. We were oohing and aahing when an old naked lady started waving her arms at me and shouting (in Japanese, of course). Apparently, I had committed my first onsen violation. Hair must be tied back while in the soaking pools.
I stuck with the Australian girls, as we moved from tub to tub. Hot to cold. Cold to herbal. Herbal back to cold. Cold to outside. They even had a small pool with electric currents zapping through it, a sensation that seemed popular with the clientele.
The naked old ladies watched us, laughed, and made sure we were following their rules. Bathing at onsens appeared to be a social ritual for these women, enjoyed a few times a week. Aging together and keeping tabs on each others sagging breasts.
JR reported a similar experience on the men’s side, except that the rules were more lax and there didn’t appear to be a Head Old Naked Man. Just a bunch of nude 80-year olds, chatting scrubbing and soaking.
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Our week in Japan was not long enough. We left Tokyo after only four days to catch a festival in Kyoto. The Festival of the Ages was a procession of about 2000 people dressed in old Japanese costumes. Five hundred over-60 women performed a traditional dance, followed by older men dressed in samurai outfits on horseback, and teenage boys wearing robes and funny hats.
There were hardly any tourists-which is the cool thing about Japan. There are rumors that it’s super expensive and difficult to travel without Japanese language skills. In reality, Japan can be a destination for travelers on a budget. We stayed at hostels and guesthouses, in private rooms for about 43 USD. We ate huge steaming bowls of udon noodle soup at tiny back-alley noodle shops for about 6 USD. Taxis are outrageous, but the public transport system was incredibly efficient. (And we did a whole lot of walking.) The Japanese are extremely friendly-and where language poses a barrier, hand signals and a smile sufficed.
Bottom line, this country is the shit. Drop what you’re doing, immediately go to Japan, and get naked with Grandmas.
Tags: Japan, Kyoto, onsen, Travel
brooke.pearson8
Fuji rock festival next year. Can’t frikin wait.
your description of naked old people makes Japan a must stop for 2008
Fyi…my sister is now living over in India. She’s in Dehli for language school (Hindi) right now and then off to Kolkata in 2 months. I’m guessing you won’t be swinging back through there but thought i’d give u guys a heads up. here’s her blog:
http://sarahinkolkata.blogspot.com/