Wine Tasting in Cape Town!
I’m now in the City of Cape Town in South Africa. Cape Town has the look of the Bay Area in San Francisco with it’s beautiful waterfront and palm tree lined streets. Unfortunately it has the feel of the Gaza Strip. It is nestled right next to the coast and high above it rises table mountain. Walking around the streets I feel like i’m Jason Bourne in Bourne Supremacy III. However I think the title of this one would be Bourne A Loser. Honestly though, you have to watch everyone on the street. Anytime you walk by a bunch of people you get stared at and sometimes followed, it’s not the safest feeling. So instead of walking the streets anymore I booked a wine tour. I decided that I will give you a closer look into the daily life of Brian Gagnon by giving a more detailed and accurate account of the Wine Tasting Tour. The tour was to begin by our transport picking me and a few others up at our hostel at 8:45 on the morning of the 29th.
8:42 – Holy Crap!!! My freaking alarm clock didn’t go off. What the hell? Jumped out of bed threw some clothes on and rushed down stairs expecting everyone to be waiting for me.
9:00 – Wine Tour still hasn’t started, now i can go drop a pre wine tour deuce, that will make me feel extra special.
9:01 – Flush, Swirl, Goodbye!
9:11 – Wine Tour van has arrived, woo hoo! Let’s get rolling!
9:12 – Realized I didn’t wash my hands and had just shaken hands with everyone on the tour while I was introducing myself. Just kidding, i didnt’ introduce myself. No, seriously, I washed my hands.
9:15 – The Bus was very quiet, you could hear a pin drop or a fart, all i heard were pins dropping though, not sure what others may have heard, or felt. I suspect this was mostly because it was early in the morning and people were still tired. Everyone exchanged a few pleasant smiles and hello’s. I knew a few of the people on the tour but others I did not. Our Tour Guide Rob explained to us what we would be doing for the day and repeatedly asked if we were awake and listening. Thought to myself that this could be a dull group.
10:15 – Arrived at our first Vineyard. Rob explained to us some of the do’s and dont’s of wine tasting. First he told us our word for the day when we didn’t like something was, “Elegant.” Then instructed us to quietly dump it in the bucket with a smile on our face. He told us about the different types of wine we would be tasting as well as the proper way to taste. After pouring us a bottle of white he informd us that we were holding an international wine tasting glass. With the wine in the glass we slowly tipped the glass forward to see the color of the wine. This was a particularly young wine and it was very light. We then swirled the glass to oxygenize it, wow, that was a big word. We then swirled the wine and smelled. Perhaps a hint of peach, one shouted out oh so civilized. After we all smiled and had a brief laugh we tasted.
“Ooh, decidant.” I pronounced!
“Absolutely Lovely.” Said another
“My, how wonderful.” Whispered a few!
When tasting the wine it’s good to breathe in a little while the wine is in your mouth so as to get more oxygen into your mouth, it really does change the flavor.
10:45 – We tasted our 5th and final wine at this Vineyard and moved on. It took longer than Rob wanted as people were taking their time drinking the wine. It seemed like this could be a much longer day if the pace stayed like this.
11:02 – We arrived at our 2nd Vineyard of the day. This particular vineyard had won awards two years in a row for it’s wine making. It is particularly famous for making a brand of wine found only in South Africa called Pinotage. It’s a cross between a Pinot and a Hermitage. It is a very tasty wine. The group seemed to awaken a bit at this place. A few more laughs, a few more smiles. Perhaps the wine was getting to a few people. We all made the bold decision to buy two bottles of sparkly for the road after we finished the tasting. This would ultimately lead to the demise of the tour.
12:07 – We had a little bit of a drive before arriving at our 3rd winery. Good thing we had the sparkly as we polished off a bottle between the 11 of us. This one was a little bigger and more formal then the previous two. We were given a list of wines and were allowed to choose 6. Me and a few girls decided to go in together so we could all taste each other’s wine therefore getting to taste 18, genius! At this point the giggling and stupid jokes started to spring up. The stupid photos of us pretending to make professional faces as were tasting the wine also happened. Damnit, what the hell was this stuff doing to me? I’m losing my powers.
12:43 – After the wine we went to the other side of the counter to taste some cheese. There was some goat cheese as well as some regular ones. The goat cheeses were quite nice but one cheese in particular smelled and tasted like a soiled diaper. I’ve never tasted one, I swear but i can only imagine. This is where the etiquette for the wine tasting went down hill.
“Oh my god…what the hell is that? I mean, it’s freaking elegant, holy crap!”
My gag reflex was working extremely hard as this cheese seemed to stick to everything inside of my mouth. I was getting the urge to want to spit it out but fought it off. I had a smile on but you could read the expression on my face as I chewed what seemed like a never ending piece.
1:15 – We went and had lunch. I had a spinach and feta panini. It was really really tasty, better than the cheese. We had a glass of wine with our lunch as well. The conversation and the life of the group was taking off at this point. People were talking and when our guide tried to tell us things at lunch he couldn’t get anyone to shut up long enough to say what he wanted.
2:17 – Stopped at a shop to taste some chocolates. Mmmmmmmmm…chocolate! Brian Likey chocolate.
3:02 – We arrived at our final wine tasting stop of the day. At this point things had pretty much gotten out of hand. I went and sat in a nice fluffy armchair with my wine and decided to prop open a book and read up on some of the history of wine making. At this point i was pelted with a few pits from olives that people were tasting. What happened to the civilized people at the beginging of the tour? Where did they go? All the things we had learned at the beginning of the tour were out the window. People were not tipping their glass or swirling it around in their mouth. They were drinking it like it was a fraternity party or something. People were laughing really loud. For some reason even though people were standing right next to each other they were speaking like they were on opposite sides of the universe. I stayed in check and didn’t lose my cool I will have you know.
4:01 – We boarded the Van for the Journey back to Cape Town. At this point all hell broke lose. All I remember is someone sticking a champagne bottle in my face like it was a microphone as i lip-synced the words to Love Shack as it blared on the car stereo. I remember looking up as two girls, with their shirts off, were pressing their chests against the windows at passing cars. OK, that last sentence was not true but damn that would have been awesome. What happened to our wine tour? At this point I think I blacked out and drooled all over myself and the person next to me. I may have even urinated in my pants or spilled wine on them, i’m not quite sure.
4:30 – We arrived back at our hostel and I sprinted up to my room to avoid any embarassment about the stain on my pants from either the wine or my urine. I then developed a severe headache which i washed away with a few brewskies.
I hope you enjoyed the Tour!
Tags: Cape Town, South Africa, Stellenbosch, Wine
Gagnonius
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