I blessed the snow down in Africa?
As I boarded the plane in Hong Kong with my stale and sweaty smelling t-shirt I prayed for cooler weather in Johannesburg. The constant sweating and jock itch were getting on my nerves. I swear this trip should be sponsored by gold bond triple action medicated powder.
As for the plane ride, it was 13 hours and pretty painless. I had pasta with veggies for dinner and an omelette with fruit and yogurt for breakast, not bad. I had my own tv screen with abuot 50 channels of movies, sitcoms, sports, and whatever else you can imagine. I think i roughly flipped through all the stations about 521 times.. I watched a show about argentina football, or soccer. I watched some of Rush Hour with Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker. I watched Friends. I watched “the office.” Then I watched friends again. Now maybe some of you have noticed this but i’m gonna bring it to your attention if you haven’t. I’m not a huge fan of the show but it does get a laugh out of me once in a while and it helped to pass the time. However, why is that whenever the friends hang out at Central Perk they always get the best seats. The big couch with the table and the two chairs on each side. You mean to tell me that in all those years they never walked in and went, “oh, someone is sitting in our seats, let’s sit somewhere else.” I don’t buy it. It’s not real, not believable. OK, so that’s what I thought about for 13 hours.
I also have a confession to make. I tuned in and watched Bambi. There was something resembling a salty discharge near my eyes at the end of the movie, it wasn’t a confirmed tear but…wow…i’m getting verclemped just talking about it…let me give you a topic…
“The Holy Roman Empire was neither Holy nor Roman…discuss.”
I’m also guilty of getting a little choked up watching Rod Tidwell finnally recieve his contract in Jerry McGuire. This happened a few weeks ago while in Vietnam. What the hell is wrong with me? Tears used to freely flow from me when I was getting farted on by my brothers, or when I used to drop a turd in the bathtub when I was a kid, those are valid reasons, but Bambi…Jerry McGuire?
Anywho I was coming in on 1230 flight into Johannesburg and the moonlit wings reflected the stars that would soon guide me towards salvation. Just as sun was coming we touched down and the pilot announced the temperature, a balmy 32 degrees. My nipples instantly hardened and my testacles tried to crawl up my spine. I turned to the guy next to me and said, “is he sure.” He said, “As sure as Kiliminjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengetti. After having never seen a thermometer drop below 80 for the past 3 months, I was now entering what would feel like Antarctica. I stepped off the plane and as is the norm i zeroed in and got radar lock on what would be the longest customs line, i have a knack for it i swear. I got my stamp, collected my bags and waited for my ride. My ride came and by this time I was thinking about trying to cut glass with my nipples. When i got in the car I looked at the guy and asked him if it was gonna snow. He assured me it doesn’t snow in Johannesburg. I was really hoping he would give me some long forgotten words or ancient melodies.
What do you know. Within an hour of arriving at the guest house flakes began to fly. It hasn’t snowed in Johannesburg since September of 1981, so i learned later on the radio. Today was officially declared the coldest day this year. What the hell?
I then made the decision to join a young lady i met at the hostel on a tour of a Lion and Rhino reserve just outisde of the city. What a pleasant surprise. We got to play with baby lion cubs. These guys were about 11 weeks old and were easily bigger than dan’s dog quill. They would have crushed quill like a bug. Their paws were about the size of my hands. I got bitten and scractched a few times but it was so worth it…I bet Bill Bradsky never got to do anything like that…although he did father every kid on a little league baseball team once! To Billy Bradsky…..Yeah!
My next plan of action is to get my travel plans sorted out and once i do i will let you all know what is happening.
Tags: Hong Kong, Johannesburg, South Africa
Gagnonius
Nice Toto refrence in the title. I have not heard that song in years. Well I guess the cold means less bugs…no malaria for you.
Malaria? I’ll give you malaria.
Speaking of that, you have been pretty tight lipped about illness and other health issues. I am getting bits and pieces from dad and Jeff that you have had some problems. I guess what I don’t know can’t hurt me.
It is wierd that you mentioned Jerry MaGuire. I woke up this morning thinking that I never saw that movie and always wanted to. What’s up with that.
Glad to hear you have a break from the heat. Wish we could say the same. HHH for us. Sox pulled another one off in the ninth. Loretta hit a walk of double to win the game. Very exciting.
I hope you got some pictures playing with the lion cubs. They must have been so cute. I can’t wait to tell Nathan.
Talk to you soon.
Love,
Mom
Gags,
First I want to thank you for waking up so early to call my phone and listen in to the wedding. It was something that isn’t done much and very cool. So it’s funny to hear you complain about the cold when we had a winter an you didn’t. Suck it up and deal you Sally. Wear that winter coat you had tailor made for you. Oh BTW, it’s 92 and sunny with like 2 clouds in the sky here in Curaco.
Here’s what Alysha and I have been up to: We have been getting plenty of rest but we are also remaining pretty active we go swimming and snorkling every day, we also went into town and did a little shopping, today we are going to an aquarium preserve to SCUBA with the animals and feed them (Alysha is a little freaked out but said she wants to see me do so). The scenary here is amazing and we are getting such restful sleep. The food is pretty good too, they have a Japanese resturaunt that was the best thing we’ve eaten yet. The view from our room is amazing and we are taking pictures to show you when we you home. We’re also going to be taking an island tour all day on Sunday so that will be cool, as well as going to the Amstel Brewery. We tried Amstel Bright while here it is a new beer that is 5% Alcohol and tasted pretty good with a lime wedge in it. We have some funny stories to tell you all at some point. I heard that Varitek may be done for the year? WTF!!! Theo said this was the year to take a step back so he could reload for the next 4 years so I guess we’ll see what’s what after we return. Hope Tedy Bruschi’s arm is ok. We have ESPN, ESPN2, HBO, and ESPN8 The Ocho in our room so we can see what’s up back home plus CNN for the news. Just some classic stories that will make our cross country trip that much better, you can totally tell who’s Euro and who’s not just by looking at them, there is also a girl who Alysha and I have dubbed BJG (Boob Job Girl) She is 19 at the most weighs about 98 pounds 120 if you count the implants. Just redonk, the stuff she wears is classic Boston Hooker as well. I’ll talk to you soon. Bundle up H-MO!!
Late-
Mark
Hi,
It was nice to read the message from Mark. Glad to hear you and Alysha are having a fun and restful and hopefully romantic honeymoon. I thought it was great that Brian could be a part of your wedding ceremony. Enjoy your time in Curaco.
BTW, what is this about a cross country trip?
Bri,
3 quick points:
1 – Big Sur is awesome. I’m emailing from a public library.
2. Congrats on the wedding Mark!
3. Bite me.
So…the time has come Brian…..the moment you have been training for…. your first fight with the beginning levels of lion. So when do you get the toddler lions….and then the adult Super HEAVYWEIGHT division lions?
Don’t dissapoint me…. i expect pictures of the big fight…and wear your clean underwear…i know you will SHIT your pants in this fight…. you have to save them for framing. WOW – i am turning into you and Eric, how sad.
OK…keep us posted!
alice