Can you smell what Ayers Rock is cooking?
San Franciso has their version of the rock. One that people did not want to visit and couldn’t even escape from, allegedly. The WWE also had a version of the rock who at the time was the most electrifying rock in entertainment history. I’ve seen both rocks in person and until today didn’t think another rock could even come close to those, but i regretfully have to admit that i was wrong. I was up at 4:40 on this morning to get a close up look at this thing they call Ayers Rock or Uluru. It get’s pretty cold in the desert so i was really hoping it would be worth it. We got dropped off at the base of the rock and began our 8.7 Kilometer hike around the rock. You really can’t see anything but the silhouette of the rock. Around about 45 minutes into the hike the sun rose up over the hills and unveiled one of the most beautiful spectacles i’ve ever seen in my life…and yes i am including the fireworks at Hampton Beach. The Rock glowed an amazing red like nothing i’ve ever seen before. There is an amazing amount of energy present as you walk around the site, good and bad. For those of you who don’t know much about what has happened over the years let me give you a little Australian/Aboriginal history lesson.
Ayers Rock/Uluru was basically the site of ancient aboriginal worship. It was a place where the ancient aboriginal ancestors would voyage to and hold sacred ceremonies. I guess for many years the Australian government had rights to the rock, until 1984 when they officially handed it back over to the aboriginal tribes of the area. At the time it was thought to be a very nice gesture on the part of the government. The deal was basically that the Aborigonees would lease it back to Australia so they could maintain it for tourism. One problem was the fine print. The aborigonees would get charged 40 cents for each additional minute over their…wait sorry, i’m thinking about my old cell phone plan. So what the fine print stated was that people would be allowed to climb to the top of the rock. This is a very sensitive subject as it causes a great amount of stress among the tribes because it is such a sacred ground and because 35 people have died doing the climb. The brochure you get when you arrive clearly states, “Please do not climb the rock.” There is a huge sign in front of where you begin the climb, which states, “Please do not climb the rock,” and it also states very briefly why. You wouldn’t believe how many people were climbing the rock. I found it very disheartening and disprespectful. I honestly don’t care how far you’ve traveled or how much you’ve paid, if it say’s don’t do it, then don’t do it. Another great point of interest was in the cultural center. They had a book full of letters from people who had either taken or been given a piece of the rock. They were all returning the pieces with apologies. Apparently some of them haven’t experience alot of luck since recieving it. All i can say is how lucky i felt to be able to view it. It is truly sacred ground and seeing people disrespect it made me feel bad. When no one was looking i ran up to it and gave it a “Rock Bottom.” I adjusted my elbow pad and bounced off imaginary ropes and and give it a go, it was amazing, until the park ranger almost escorted me out of the park.
Another great note to the tour was this one person in the group. Now you all know what it’s like to have that one person around, wether it be in a tour group, or a class. I apologize in advance but usually it’s a group of younger people with this one person being the lone older person. Not to say all older people are like this but i’ve seen it way to much. This is the type of person who always seems to know more than anyone else yet asks the most stupidest questions you can ever imagine. This lady was no different. Here are just a few of the annoying things she said in the course of the day which may not mean much but to just give you an idea of how annoying she was:
“My two sons are both cooks…he he he he.”
Response by everyone else in the group:
“Who the F*ck cares.”
“oh my ex husband…blah, blah blah.”
Same response from the group.
“You’re from california? well you dont’ know what corned beef and cabbage is.”
“My boyfriend and his son, blah blah blah blah.”
“I’m from canada and we have eagles?”
“What are those things in the sky?”
Are, you serious clarke?
No one was asking this complete idiot anything. We didn’t want know anything about her nor did we care to hear it but we were going to anyway. At one point i was going to scream, shut up. Not just a regular shut up either. A shut up that would rattle across central australia and cause a group of kangaroos to look up while they were feeding. One that would cause a dingo to scurry back into it’s hole to protect it’s family. The kind of shut up that would knock a Koala out of a tree. The kind of shut up that would register on a richter scale. That would have felt good but i didn’t and now i will never see her again. I’m off to Darwin tomorrow.
I haven’t had this much fun since Bing Crosby tap danced with Danny “F*cken” Kay.
Halleliuah…Holy Shit!
May the peace of god be with you, this mass has ended you may go in peace to love and serve the lord?
I’m Ron Burgundy?
This is Chuck Woolory, i’ll be back in two and two.
If you’ve enjoyed this post half as much as me then i’ve enjoyed it twice as much as you.
Tags: Australia, Ayers Rock, Uluru
Gagnonius
Good history….what in gods name is a “Rock Bottom” ? Did you all have a guide? If so how did he/she feel about those dummies climbing on the rock? I wish Jeff Pellerine could join you….he would have a lot of smart stuff to say too.
……Did you do what we discussed you would do at Ayers Rock?
Have you got to meet any Aborigonees? then again with your group that might be a mistake.
I need an AED next to me when I watch the Sox play.
Bri,
It would have been even funnier if you found out that the crazy woman at the rock was from Dracut and supplied Dad with Christmas doll presents for Mom!
There is something about nature that makes people feel they can do whatever they want, no matter what signs ask. Remember those jerks at Arches National Park?
You’re probably keeping up with some sports, and Mark’s summaries are good, but the Doug Mirabelli thing was legendary. He arrived at 6:30pm at Logan and got to Fenway in time to catch Wake. As Mark said, he literally changed into his uniform in the back of a state trooper’s car. Incredible! Only the Sox, and only in Boston could a state trooper be used for such a purpose. “GET THAT CATCHER TO THE PARK BY 7:05!!!!”
Other updates:
I had my last Cal State class and the review were really positive.
Will find out soon which freshman writing class I’ll be teaching at UCSD next fall in my program.
The Hinostro’s are in Greece this week and next.
The weather in SD has been overcast, cool and gloomy most of the past two weeks.
The Chargers were given permission to start looking for a new stadium deal in the county area. If that falls through, they will start looking in Orange County or Vegas, supposedly. I don’t think it will happen.
The Chargers draft wasn’t as good as the Pats in my opinion. The Pats look like they did a great job again of taking good players, regardless of what positions they might have needed to improve. Just because they need a linebacker doesn’t mean they take one if they don’t like any on the board. This strategy seems to keep working!
There are small rumors that Ty Law could come back, but who knows? Wouldn’t it be great if the RB and WR they took jumped in and started right away? Dillon should be motivated to stay healthy and fast!
The Padres are in last place and Suprise! They can’t hit the ball.
I went to a ’70’s party for a school function this weekend and wore a fake mustache. Very nice.
Keep the jokes coming. I have been laughing out loud and telling people the joke about the dog. Unbelievable! You need to consider writing a book – a la Bill Bryson. You are funnier than he!
I would have wanted to beat the buhjeezsus outta that lady. I hate people like that. I can’t believe people were climbing all over that rock, classy.
Were you drunk or sleep deprived when writing that piece of comedy. It reminded me of Jim Norton calling people an “eager young lad” saying “golly gee wilikers” and “lets settle this with a tussle” things of that nature.
Mrs. Gagnon I’ll keep it as clean as possible which is why when I say s**t, or c*** master, you just play hang man to figure out what we are saying, or you can just leave it alone and let Brian the eager young lad who gives “Manly Hugs” do the figuring.
But as pg-13 as I keep it I won’t reference any women of ill repute in my messages to the Harlem errrr San Diego Globetrotter.
🙂
-Mark
Hey Brian – We’re finally in Melbourne and by the sounds of your blog, I’m guessing you won’t be returning…
Good to read the updates though – we’re hitting up an Aussie Rules game this weekend, along with the Ocean drive and St. Philip’s island – might also do a winery tour in Yarra Valley (did you do?)
If you’re heading back down – give me a shout – otherwise, have fun – loving your stories! (all except the description about the 1st shit at summer camp – classic.)
– Kim
Brian go down to Melbourne and “seal the deal”.
we are in Mykenos and it is comforting that you miss us … after clean shorts…we haven’t stopped talking about you to all the fellow travelers over and over were proud and living vicariously in all your many adventures except the dog ball’s caper. Bob
Are you sure that woman wasn’t from Dracut? Aren’t you glad you don’t have an annoying mother? (Are you wearing clean uder wear, flossing your teeth and wearing your sunscreen?)
Mark, I appreciate your effort to keep things relatively clean. I do enjoy your comments. What a book this is going to make.
Where are all the comments from the Flanagans?
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