The year of the hermit
If you can get past the image of wanna-be gypsy ladies draped in layers of purple velvet and heavy silver jewelry, the Tarot is actually really interesting. In my mind, it’s not something magical or occult; it’s just a piece of fine storytelling. The major arcana tells the epic story of The Fool’s journey through life. Over the course of twenty-two episodes, he explores many different aspects of himself and, as he grows and evolves, slowly uncovers truths about the nature of existence. Sometimes he is active and sometimes he feels the need to withdraw. He falls in love, he falls apart, he suffers, he feels reborn. He learns that nothing is permanent and that he must take responsibility for his actions. He finally comes to see his life as full and meaningful, after all the lessons and trials. It’s a really good story.
One of the cool things about the Tarot as a story is that – like most stories, I guess – it is also a tool you can use to make some sense of your own experiences. For example, one thing that people do with it is to use a major arcana card to represent each year, and as the years pass, you work your way along the journey. So 2006 (2+6) would be the eighth card – Strength. And 2007 would be the ninth – The Hermit.
The Strength card traditionally shows a young woman standing next to a lion. Whatever it’s supposed to mean, I look at it and think in retrospect about how 2006 just about tore me limb from limb and left me mauled, disoriented and terrified. Maybe I learned about strength in the sense of ‘whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.’ It also, predictably enough, makes me think of both Gloria Gaynor and Destiny’s Child. Someone else might look at it and see a completely different meaning but that’s the beauty of symbolism, right?
I was dreading 2007 a little bit. The Hermit is shown draped in a cloak and wandering alone through a dark, barren landscape with only his lantern to light each step of the way but no further. “Oh no, no, no,” I decided, before I’d even thought of taking this trip. “I’m just going to skip that one altogether.” Then right before I left the States, my friend Mahesh did a Tarot reading for this trip. In the 10th position – the outcome – there it was: the Hermit.
With the first month of the year drawing to a close, I see that – without making a conscious effort or connection – I have turned inward in the manner of the Hermit. And as I do this, certain things are becoming more and more obvious. So obvious in fact that I’m not sure how I didn’t understand them until now. Like that I only have to take one step at a time without aiming at anything because there is nowhere to get to and nothing to achieve. I am already in exactly the place I was trying to reach, and I already have everything I was seeking. And with that comes a feeling of relief. That’s the best way to describe it – a relief at not feeling like I have to achieve, acquire, improve, or try. Trying, especially, is such a drag.
The idea of something is always a much bigger deal than the thing itself. I was so afraid of being alone. Not just being single, not just living alone, not just traveling alone – because I’m used to all those things – but Alone with a capital A. At least so far though, the year of the Hermit is not one I would have skipped for anything.
Tags: Nong Khai, Thailand
sandra_101
satori