One step at a time…

Slowly but surely my travels are coming to an end. I think am a bit depressed. Its natural right. Even though I will still be hanging around in Hyderabad with my family it won’t be the same. I will be in the realworld soon. One of the things I realized in the past few days was the fact that I do not really like to aimlessly wander around sometimes. I loved traveling around the country but felt that I really did not connect. I wanted to so much but never had enough time. The only time I felt like staying put some where was Phnom Penh, but I chickened out of spending more time there. I really was scared that I would not be able to leave, when push came to shove.

Read the rest of this entry »

Well, I was wrong. I had one more journey on the infamous Cambodian roads before I landed anywhere close to the Thai border. I had learned from my past few experiences to add couple of hours to the official time that any of the agents gives you..but I have to say the journey from the beaches in Cambodia to the Thai border was more than 9 hours. The only good thing about the trip was the fact that the driver dogged between all the craters (can’t call them pot holes) without getting stuck in the mousy mud even once. Can’t imagine all the sissy complainers trying to give a hand if that had happened.

I have to say I was in good spirits considering the time we spend on the bus. Not a wink of sleep and of course got introduced to a few more muscle groups that I had absolutely no idea I had. Crossing the border was easy as well. Duty-free shopping the Cambodian kind awaited us. You could find a carton of Marlboro’s for $6..cheap eh!

Read the rest of this entry »

Landing in Bombay..excuse me Mumbai has always made me a bit apprehensive. Originally I was supposed to land in Delhi but then I changed my mind and thought, why not stick to the original plan and make Bombay my disembarkation port. A known devil is better than an unknown one. I also figured I might meet a few old faces while I was in town.

While walking toward the Immigration counter I started talking to somebody who is from San Francisco, more over he works in the Marina district. What a coincidence. He made a comment about how I must be happy that am “home” now after traveling around for the last couple of months. It didn’t feel like home and I told him, not yet I had to wait to get home yet! In a large sense India is “home” it will always be that . I feel anticipation when I land in India and when I land in San Francisco I feel excited. The sight of the city from the ramp on Hwy 280 never fails to remind me that am going home. Will I feel that when I land in Hyderabad?

Read the rest of this entry »

One of things I have been very conscious of this trip is to listen to my first instincts and also to not plan every move I make. Thus, when my aunt (my mom’s brother’s wife) asked me to come and stay with them, I agreed. I packed a few things in my daypack and left Hyderabad towards Guntur, which is a district in the state of Andhra Pradesh. I have never spent any quality time with my uncle and aunt and thought this is a perfect opportunity, as I will never get the chance again.

I have been very lucky to have the affection of my extended family…, which is rare these days. Our parents never involved us in the family politics, which there are many. Overall there is harmony in the family (with some undercurrents kept in wrap by all of them) and I feel welcome in their home as well as the homes of some of my other aunts and uncles. These days its not prevelant but in my parents time, it was not uncommon to grow up in your relatives house, especially if they were in the cities and parents were living and working in the village. My mom and her brothers went to school and college while staying with their aunt’s daughter! Today these families have a bond as they share some good old childhood stories and make us who grew up in nuclear families a little jealous. Strange by western standards?

Anyway, I accompanied my aunt (who is very happy btw as she is all alone here while my uncle works crazy hours). The very next morning she took me out and said that we needed to deliver some papers to a local Brahmin man (who is actually the dean of the local college here). It turns out the papers are what we call the “Janam Patri” (charts made according to ones Astrological signs). Pretty much every child born has one, usually prepared in the first year of birth, this sheet of paper tells you the exact location of the stars etc at the time of birth. Some people strongly believe that our life is predetermined and all that is going to happen is written in those charts. Well, he was going to see these papers and tell us more about my brother! It turns out the bundle also contained mine as well..ooh ooh. More over it turns out “Guruji” also reads palms. Somehow I was sitting in front of him with my palms facing up. Little did I know he is unique, he reads the back of the hands. Upside down. So here I was listening to the summary of my past and peeking into my future as written on the back of my hands.

Read the rest of this entry »

Its been a while since I have written…well did not have much to say. All I did the past few weeks was just eat, sleep, read and watch the idiot box. Well, actually I did make a small trip down to Pondicherry to see an old high school friend of mine who lives in Auroville. It was refreshing to renew a friendship and drive down memory lane. It’s amazing how much I remember and she does not! It was great to share her life for a few days and live right in the middle of Auroville, middle of nowhere.

For those who are more curious about Auroville you can find a lot of information on their web site. I can only say that I found the concept of Auroville a little unrealistic, but then I guess all dreams take a while to come to reality. I found some people escaping from reality and some who really believe in the teachings of Sri Aurobindo and are they’re trying their best to build this community of human unity. It’s definitely not for me. Shama seems to have a very normal working life. She is an architect who works in the area and wants to take projects in Pondicherry or Chennai the big town next door. She is one of the few I saw had a balance of the real life and principles behind the whole place. Has a healthy spiritual perspective of the place and a firm grounding in reality. Others who I met worked just as hard as we do in the “real world” they also need to make money to live and pursue their interests. They are not in an ashram environment being taken care of. They have taken a barren land and made it green, are trying to live in harmony with nature and with other beings. But, they have their problems.

Matra Mandir..Auroville.

The locals think they all have money and an easy life..well some of them do. They work in their native country for 2-3 months and then life off of that money in Auroville. In their spare time they volunteer and pursue some of their hobbies. They are surrounded by the same politics and pettiness that we all are. It’s a world within a world, interdependent on the outside world desperately trying to be independent. Still very far from that dream. But I found that some of the work that they are doing with alternative energy, with progressive constructions techniques and other organic cultivation programs very interesting. It takes a lot to change the world but at least they are trying in their own small way. Its a start right?

Shama and myself bearing the burden just by ourselves.

Read the rest of this entry »

You meet so many different kinds of people while traveling and it just so happened that I bumped into a very resourceful ones. The Swedish couple who were documentary filmmakers with an interview of the Karmapa under their belt. Then I bumped into Tishani, a half Gujju half welsh free lance writer who lives and works from madras. What a beautiful girl! A dancer’s eyes with honest expressions. Turns out she is a dancer without any formal training. Beauty that radiates. I asked her for her autograph just in case she turns out to be this very famous Tamil actress that she resembles. Anyway, she looked like had plenty of connections and I was happy to tag along while she went on meeting some of them as I really was not in a mood for touristy things but something else. To look deeper and closer into the Tibetan community in Dharmsala.

At a local bookstore she happened to ask the owners name and exclaimed “ah you are the man am looking for”. Turns out he is the local rebel who another author friend of hers knows from ages. He is a renegade as he is one of the few who disagrees with His Holiness The 14th Dalai Lama on his policy with China. The Dalai Lama since 1988 wants Independent rule within China, where as there are other who feel that they should ask for complete independence. I really wonder if this will be a possibility in our lifetime. Will Tibet ever see the light of self-rule? Sad plight as a generations are still living without a country. Neither home in India nor in Tibet.

Read the rest of this entry »

Cheesy cheap T-shirts, bags, caps all echo this sentiment of “I Love Goa” everywhere on this paradise land. Just a statement but so true, very true for me at least. Can’t say more of what I feel for this place. As always seeing Goa from the air took my breath away. I really don’t understand the love you can have for one place over the other. But then loving Goa was never hard. I spent some of my best years here as a teenager, even though those are the toughest times for one. Goa is in my heart and will always be my first home.

I did not spend a good 10 days in Goa, which were not enough to reminisce, nor did I get a fill of the land, the ocean, the people and food. I can’t but help thinking, what am I doing away from Goa when I know this is home for me but then so if San Francisco. A woman torn. At least it’s not two men! Everytime I come here it’s like coming home and getting a hug from my mom. Safe, secure and understanding love one that need not be vocalized. I do love Goa. I think am repeating the words to convince my self again and again that I need to do something to be able to spend more time here. This place grounds me. Maybe one of these days I will be back but not yet. Hope someday.

Read the rest of this entry »

After a very long but not so tiring journey, I was greeted by the autumn colours across the freeway. I missed the San Francisco summer. Alas!

It was strange coming through Customs and Immigration, for the first time, I felt as if I owned the place. I had a strength in my voice and a convinction that San Francisco, the US is my home as well. Otherwise, I always had a little excuse in my heart and that showed. No more excuses. I have accepted that fact that I will always be torn between two lands. But at least I have that. I feel at home here and for that I cannot and will not apologise. Big bad America is home now as well. But then one can never classify California as America. Its not. That’s a whole another conversation better left for another time. I guess am home again in San Francisco, city by the bay.

Am home again….

Read the rest of this entry »

Adjusting to former life is never easy. Wise words which have to be lived to know that they are true. Really. So far, I actaully have been doing okay but people around me seem to be a little nervous. When am I going to find a job? That is pretty much what some of the folks I have talked to after returning about a week ago ask me about.

Things take time and settling down is hard. My poor monster was in a not so great shape. After a 5 month hibernation it was a bit moody and cranky and a big boo boo on the driver’s side helped neither of us. One by one I got things checked and changed but still there remained a tiny problem. All of a sudden the “check engine” light flickers, making me very nervous. In a car like mine I have to be careful as I could cause serious damage on the road to others, my safety is the least of my concern.

Read the rest of this entry »

So here I was, driving on a rainy afternoon back from a stupid job interview and what do I see. No,No not a rainbow, something much more rare. My name on a truck on the highway. Now I have to tell you, I have been in America for 12 years and I have not met anybody with the same name as mine. So, when I see my name painted all over this truck, I thought I was seeing things. But, there it was my name. Imagine I even had the camera in hand to take a shot. How cool is that.

Read the rest of this entry »