Coming Home….again
After a very long but not so tiring journey, I was greeted by the autumn colours across the freeway. I missed the San Francisco summer. Alas!
It was strange coming through Customs and Immigration, for the first time, I felt as if I owned the place. I had a strength in my voice and a convinction that San Francisco, the US is my home as well. Otherwise, I always had a little excuse in my heart and that showed. No more excuses. I have accepted that fact that I will always be torn between two lands. But at least I have that. I feel at home here and for that I cannot and will not apologise. Big bad America is home now as well. But then one can never classify California as America. Its not. That’s a whole another conversation better left for another time. I guess am home again in San Francisco, city by the bay.
Am home again….
A dull deary and grey afternoon welcomed me back.Splashes of autumn colors like a silver lining. I usually head to “The City” but since I have no place to seek shelter there am back in the suburbs in the south bay where I will live with my very sweet cousin and her beautiful kids for a while. Its so familiar coming back. It was not a wham bam feeling but more of a gentle homecoming. I neither felt the excitement nor dreaded my coming back. Its strange. At peace. Finally? I neither feel the anxiousness nor do I feel a lethargy. I have a terrible jet lag though. Is that masking what I should really feel now. Time will tell.
Beautiful autumn colors with a bright rainbow were a omnious sign. I could not ask for more. The last rainbow I saw was in Pai, Thailand. This time there would be no chasing the pot of gold. Driving down the scenic Route 280, I could not help feel that life is fine and am doing fine as well. I think the people around me are more worried about the fact that I have so much to do still in terms of “getting settled”. The job will come and with it the financial security. Not really worried. I know the practical side of me”the other” as Coehlo describes says I have to get back into the game but the other part of me…the new me says what the heck! live a little. Chill. Maybe I have finally learnt one thing that has evaded me all my life, a sense of calm. I was always rushing, moving ahead, doing things. Time to stand a little still. Just for a moment. Not too long.
I’m still waiting for the anxiety to come and I have to say if its not here in a day or two then its good riddance to bad rubbish. But if it comes it will not stay long. A pre-new year resolution. I have waited a long time to feel unrushed. I do now.
Coming back to familiar things…..
Large malls..yikes.
Disciplined traffic…yippie.
Traffic conjestion…here as well.
2% milk…finally a familiar taste.
DSL/Cable Internet…what can I say about that.Heaven for some. Sorry this is the valley of the nerds. I think wireless DSL on a new laptop is my new dream. Its doable.
Neat rows of manicured houses in the suburbs..how boring.
Good enough Mexican food..yumm.
I have yet to go to the “city”. San Francisco. I have feeling that I will find it more beautiful than ever.Charming like a graceful lady. Now, I will have a pair of new eyes to rediscover this place. More about that later…will conclude my blog with a visit to the City. Its about time I think to retire.
Well folks more later…right now need to do something else to keep my eyes open. Yawn! darn this jet lag.
Tags: California
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Madhu
Glad you reached San Francisco safe and sound and that it feels like coming home…
Looking forward to reading about your experiences re-discovering the city with new eyes.
Let’s catch up over the phone soon, I ‘ve missed that!
Love, heej
Good luck!