Upside Down….
One of things I have been very conscious of this trip is to listen to my first instincts and also to not plan every move I make. Thus, when my aunt (my mom’s brother’s wife) asked me to come and stay with them, I agreed. I packed a few things in my daypack and left Hyderabad towards Guntur, which is a district in the state of Andhra Pradesh. I have never spent any quality time with my uncle and aunt and thought this is a perfect opportunity, as I will never get the chance again.
I have been very lucky to have the affection of my extended family…, which is rare these days. Our parents never involved us in the family politics, which there are many. Overall there is harmony in the family (with some undercurrents kept in wrap by all of them) and I feel welcome in their home as well as the homes of some of my other aunts and uncles. These days its not prevelant but in my parents time, it was not uncommon to grow up in your relatives house, especially if they were in the cities and parents were living and working in the village. My mom and her brothers went to school and college while staying with their aunt’s daughter! Today these families have a bond as they share some good old childhood stories and make us who grew up in nuclear families a little jealous. Strange by western standards?
Anyway, I accompanied my aunt (who is very happy btw as she is all alone here while my uncle works crazy hours). The very next morning she took me out and said that we needed to deliver some papers to a local Brahmin man (who is actually the dean of the local college here). It turns out the papers are what we call the “Janam Patri” (charts made according to ones Astrological signs). Pretty much every child born has one, usually prepared in the first year of birth, this sheet of paper tells you the exact location of the stars etc at the time of birth. Some people strongly believe that our life is predetermined and all that is going to happen is written in those charts. Well, he was going to see these papers and tell us more about my brother! It turns out the bundle also contained mine as well..ooh ooh. More over it turns out “Guruji” also reads palms. Somehow I was sitting in front of him with my palms facing up. Little did I know he is unique, he reads the back of the hands. Upside down. So here I was listening to the summary of my past and peeking into my future as written on the back of my hands.
One thing I have noticed in the last few years is the fact that my mother, my aunts and uncle’s are depending on the old ways to help them through some tough times. I knew that our grandparents had their beliefs and our parents were considered modern and never really paid attention to these things. Twenty years back I would have never guessed that my uncle and my father would have accompanied their wives to see Gurus, Brahmins or folks who see the future, but it seems they are silent partners to this today. They have mellowed with age I guess. Especially this uncle of mine who used to say all these Brahmins are thieves who play on the faith of the innocent people. And some do. Buyers beware.
I have to say I really don’t know where I stand. Sometimes I believe and sometimes I scold myself for even thinking that supernatural powers exit in this world. If you think about it how can a planet which is light years away have a effect on you. Do electrons travel that far? More over how is that two people born on the same date, same time have different destinies. A beggar on the street could also have a great hand but the unfortunate just sees his furture in his hand only, not in reality. BUT more than once these palmists have shown me that there is more to what we know. Years back I met a very educated man (he was an engineer by profession) who told me a few things which nobody but only myself knew about. I’m not kidding, I was too scared to go back to him as he told me not only things from my past but what was going to happen and he made no bones about it. This time that same thing happened. After the initial talk which I was unsure about he told me to come back again for the next few days. He was going to perform some “puja” (read some scriptures every morning) and all I had to do was to come and collect the offerings (coconut water, flowers etc). I did (as I said I have started to be a little open minded) and slowly but surely he told me things which once again only I know about (well okay couple other folks as well). I could not dismiss him, as there was no way he could have known these things from other people as they are back in San Francisco.
Anyway, I have been questioning my own faith in these things for a long time. I feel I have to apologize everytime I think that its okay to do so. I know for sure that I will never be that enamoured with somebody that I will make all of life’s decisions based on “good days” and astrological charts. Is there any harm in these half belief systems. Is being in these convenient Grey areas so bad? The only catch is that if something is not right in the charts they “the Brahmin” ask you to perform some “pujas” to get rid of the evil. This then involves reading chants etc for couple of days and then giving some offerings to God, the Brahmins and maybe to the poor. This is where I have a problem, I don’t understand these chants (inspite of six years of learning Sanskrit) and how do we know what they are saying is according the scriptures. Once again it all comes down to faith. How far you take this faith really depends on you. Blind faith can be very dangerous.
Maybe I’m being untrue not only to myself but also to those who really believe in all this. Is this a kind of fraud? Maybe there should be a faith test of some kind and we all need to perform. Faith litmus test. I really think that because of the fact that I grew up in India, surrounded by phenomenons one cannot explain, more over how can so many people be wrong. Is this what keeps people who seek more than the modern truth to come to India? Its ancient old ways blended with a touch of modernism. A perfect masala?
Once again, I have decided to give this matter/thought a rest as I did not seek this reading and it came to me. My instinct told me to go to Guntur and I did. One of these days I have to think about where I stand on my litmus test. I have to decide and not be sorry for the fact that I kinda believe in some of the unexplained (by modern terms). Anyway, the damage to my pocket was not bad and he also guessed my half-hearted faith and told me to keep in touch with him. What I did not like about him (which my aunt also admitted to) was he seemed to want more than what was offered to him as his “dakshina”. It seemed a little greedy especially when he knew I was living in the US. I would have given more creedence had he not taken anything but that’s not fair either. I think I will have to wait to see if what he said comes true. I think it will. A part of me wants to believe him 100% but right now I still have my doubts.
Anyway, am back home now and trying to escape the Deccan heat by drinking home made lassi’s. The only major complaint I have right now is being awakened by the noise of people, cars, autorickshaws, vendors etc. At least I have to say thanks that we are in a “galli” (alley) and not on the main road. People constantly honking the horn is driving me nuts. I sometimes wonder how do folks here handle the stress, poullution and pace of life and traffic. More on traffic issues later, I don’t want to get started on this right now.
Cheers…
Tags: India
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Madhu