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How To Be Idle

Tuesday, January 20th, 2009

book review and related contemplations by Rachael
Phnom Penh, Cambodia

I’m having a read-fest; three books in four days. YAY for guesthouses with libraries and YAY for staying in one place long enough to finish a complete tome.
Some of Tom Hodgkinson’s “How To Be Idle” resonated deeply with me, especially in light of observations I’ve been making about daily life in Laos and Cambodia. Other parts jarred dischordantly. Please don’t try to tell me pornography hurts no-one. And if you’re going to quote the Bible in order to refute God, then at least get your theology right! (Work was given to man before the Fall, not as a potentially escapable punishment afterwards – and I therefore reject his basic premise, the notion that work per se, is bad). Then there are the chapters extolling drugs and drunkenness – it would be a clever man, who could convince me of the benefits of these excesses…but Tom is not the man. I have an inkling he was brought up Catholic (his obsession with guilt gives him away), and the brand of Christian religion he pits against Buddhism and other eastern faith systems is quite dissimilar from the life-giving freedom-offering purposeful Christianity I identify with. And while I can understand some of his arguments for smoking, I would rather knit, especially knowing THAT will not kill me. In a book basically about anarchistic hedonism, it really does seem shortsighted to applaud a habit that surely leads to death after varying degrees of misery.

So what did I like?
It’s anecdotal, but earlier this week I felt grotty and took myself to bed for the day, when ordinarily I would have soldiered on. Within hours I felt better, but still I lingered (with a compelling book <wink>) in bed. Complete recovery. Hodgkinson points out that throwing pills at medical problems may not always help, and that the old-fashioned concept of convalescence might actually be cure enough for many ailments. It certainly worked for me.
At the essence of this concept, and most other factors he discusses, is TIME.
   Time to linger over lunch.
   Time to enter into conversation, a real exchange of ideas (as opposed to impatient
   waiting to have your rehearsed say).
   Time to take tea (made with tea leaves, no less).
   Time to rest.
   Time to ramble.

The people we have met in the last two months have been time-rich. They have time to sit. They are not scared of curling up in a hammock, stretching out on a motorbike or nodding off on a plastic stool at their market stall when they need a nap. They are not driven by efficiency and productivity. They seem happy just to be together. There is little going or doing or achieving or pursuing or striving – just being. To a western mind there seems to be a “lack of ambition”, but if you step back and take the time to look again, you see contentment and community.
Without the assistance of self-help gurus who fill infomercials and bookshop shelves at home, these people are achieving a work-life balance so trendily discussed in professional circles. They work and live holistically, in harmony. Observing that rural (and small town) life here is very similar to Hodgkinson’s description of pre-Industrial Revolution life, lends some weight to his arguments and leaves me feeling he is not merely indulging in idealistic romanticism. I have witnessed a genuinely holistic way of life that does not include a life versus work distinction, and it is admirable. We have stayed with people, who enjoy their “work”/life, which includes such things as running a guest house, cultivating a garden, mending clothes on their front doorstep, raising their children, enjoying the social occasion of going to market, and cooking for themselves and anyone else who drops by…..we have seen similar families with a loom set up under their houses for weaving silk, another activity to fill their days….there is variety as they go about the work of living. Their lives are interesting, inextricably linked to the seasons, connected with others. There is no need to escape.

I was intrigued at Hodgkinson’s (presumably correct) observation that “action-packed holidays” are a relatively new invention. Prior to the Industrial Revolution there had been festivals and feast days liberally sprinkled through the religious calendar, days of celebration observed by all. As people stopped working for themselves and came under Big Bosses, they lost the freedom to determine their schedules, including time off, and after a long stint of ceaseless work, holidays became a “right” in 1936, with the British government legislating a one week holiday for workers every year. We, of course, have become accustomed to far more than this, without ever (on my part) questioning its normalcy (or otherwise).
When it suits Mr H, he turns to the Bible for support, and now is one of those times. Every seven years God’s people were commanded to take a sabbatical. If there was to be no tilling of the ground for a year, it would imply having an excess stored away to see them through the year, so we are not discussing the hand-to-mouth abject poverty, which is often associated with agrarian societies.
Forget the four week annual holiday – we should have our eye on a seven-yearly year off! And as part of my religious heritage, it is entirely consistent for me to claim it! Along with the weekly Sabbath rest and celebrations honouring our Creator-Sustainer God. All of this fits in with, is part of, life. It does not require escaping from life (or work) to happen. But the way we work now (generally in a very narrow specialised field for many hours of the day, often leaving little time for anything else) pushes us to need to escape from work. “How To Be Idle” suggests finding work you enjoy and then doing only as much as is needed to earn a living, so that you have time to live as well.

This begs the question “what do we need?”
Right now ten of us are living out of three backpacks, one electronics bag and a small daypack (we have with us a few more bags full of cold and wet weather gear, which we will need all too soon, but these bags have hardly been opened as yet). Looking after so little *stuff* takes minimal effort and we have had time for plenty of family rambling. Although we walked a lot at home, we rarely covered 10km in a day, a not-unusual distance at the moment. And we would never have considered walking 3km to dinner (and three more back home again afterwards), something we did every night in Chiang Mai. We are time-rich. We can choose to wander together.
It occurs to me that it is hard to determine what you need when you have only seen one way. But it is still hard to determine what you need when you have lived with a relatively well-off family, who had hardly any of the things we take for granted as normal. It is hard, even when you have seen families with nothing at all. The solution does not magically appear. There is no formula.
It would be all too easy to slot back into NZ life, with children wanting to buy new Lego, the mother expanding our already substantial library, the father expecting to work from eight til five Monday to Friday…..
But I hope we don’t. I hope we return different. Surely we will benefit from seeing other ways of living and other ways of working out community. Surely we will benefit from experiencing that abundance of time, from charting a course together, from looking at the world through a different lens. I hope we ask ourselves what’s important, what changes we want to make to our old lifestyle, what we want to adopt from our year-of-learning. I hope we manage to work out our priorities in our own culture. We may not necessarily choose to be idle, but we will be intentional.

coping

Tuesday, January 13th, 2009

by the Mama
Phnom Penh, Cambodia

What I would like to know is who of the kids is coping the best and/or the least? How does age and personality come in to that? ~ asked by a friend

Interesting questions.

In a nutshell, everyone is coping really well. We are certainly no worse off than at home, and perhaps because we expected some days to be hard, it is not a shock when those days happen. But mostly, we are having a blast. What’s not to love about having Dadda around all the time, eating out, having something to journal about, seeing awesome sights, learning new things? In fact, to say we are “coping” well does not feel quite right. That seems to imply hardship to be faced, but we are not experiencing that at all. We’re having an adventure, and we’re adventure-loving sorts. I’d say we’re thriving rather than coping! Thriving. Privileged. Blessed. Honoured. Fortunate. Thankful. Yes, all of those things.

We had expected the eldest and youngest daughters to be the least settled. And at first it was almost a self-fulfilling prophecy. The youngest would wake every night (she NEVER did the nighttime waking thing at home) and inside a month she turned into a Dadda-only-thank-you-very-much girl. We tried to help her with these issues and she found her own little routines that, upon reflection, may have given her some security in a daily-changing world. Whenever we went into a restaurant or settled at a roadside stall, she would seek out the highchair and claim it for herself, despite the fact that she had not been using a highchair for months at home! But after Malaysia there were no more highchairs and this ritual was replaced by a need to sit next to flavour-of-the-month-Dadda, a desire we indulged, because who wants a scene at mealtime? Another Malaysia-ritual was playground spotting. Her keen wee eyes found every swing and slide set in the country! But again, these petered out in Thailand and she switched to finding 7-11 stores instead. Now in Cambodia there’s nothing to spot each day, and she’s back to the nighttime waking – maybe we’ll encourage her to find the squashed rats on our street or to count tuktuks.
The eldest daughter. By her own admission, it took her a month to feel comfortable with travelling, but then she loved it. She was the one we had thought might want to be going home at the three month mark, but she’s saying how much time is flying. Goes to show that no matter how well you know your children (or even how well they know themselves), there can be surprises.
Not surprising is the fact that every day there are issues to be dealt with. Now this happened at home too, so why would it be any different on the road? Especially when all the usual routines are stripped away, everything is unfamiliar, everyone is sharing beds and there’s nowhere to run around and let off steam.
Some of the children are missing the freedom to roam outside and ride bikes, build Lego constructions or read books. Everyone is feeling the fact that it is almost the end of our summer and we have not been to a beach (apart from one peek at the sea from a bus for a few minutes a couple of weeks ago, we have not even seen the ocean for two months). No-one is complaining about it though; it’s just one of those things. I’m not sure if age or personality play any part in that. I suspect the major factor is us adults leading by example. We are focusing on the experiences we have been privileged to have, instead of moaning about what we are not getting.
Although that’s not to say age and personality don’t play some part at other times. There is behaviour that is very closely related to age-n-stage development. That doesn’t change as we travel. The I’m-too-big-for-my-boots-attitude doesn’t afflict the smallest, but it manifests itself in different forms amongst some of the middle-sized kids. Way back at the beginning when it was REALLY HOT, it seemed that the smaller the group the member, the worse they fared. The kids who need their sleep at home, still need it on the road. The one who rarely looked where he was going at home was the one who walked into an oncoming tuktuk today (he’s OK – just got a headache from making contact with a wing mirror!) Older peeps can be reasoned with – there’s little point in trying that with a tired hungry crying two-year-old.
All of our kids have hearty appetites and are rarely reluctant to try new foods. This has stood them all in good stead. It means that they can always have their tummies filled, and this fact alone can make or break a day! I can imagine that if we had picky eaters, it would raise the stress levels considerably and make things difficult for everyone concerned.
Another thing that has made for “good coping” is a personality-thing. Both the adults can do a good extrovert impersonation when the need arises, and some of the children are naturally wired that way. This makes for cheery interchanges with people we come across. Unfortunately, it’s the youngest two girls who invite the most attention and they are the two who take the longest to warm up to new faces. We have, however, been pleasantly surprised at how readily they have taken to giving foreign language greetings – even if they do not altogether enjoy the cheek pinching and head patting and hair pulling and arm pinching and having their whole face squeezed inside a total stranger’s two cupped hands. They even tolerate being smothered by kisses now…..but we are still working with them to smile at the perpetrator when attacked spoken to. So, you see, even not-conducive-to-travelling personality traits can be “overcome”.


                                           (at the nearby stadium about to let off steam!)

Cambodian Birthday

Friday, January 9th, 2009

by Rachael Phnom Penh, Cambodia

A long time ago Pa told me that April is a very good luck month. In the Cambodian culture, New Year's always falls in April, which means that all the children born before New Year's ... [Continue reading this entry]

as busy as bangkok

Sunday, December 28th, 2008
by Rob-n-Rach Phnom Penh, Cambodia Even as we drove into Phnom Penh on the bus and then across this capital city in a tuktuk convoy, J14 observed, "It's as busy as Bangkok." There seemed to be just as many motorbikes, just ... [Continue reading this entry]

just like, WOW!!

Thursday, December 25th, 2008
by Rach who is still in awe (and Rob composed the title <wink>) Siem Reap, Cambodia Christmas breakfast is usually a light affair for us and this year was no exception; local oranges, baby bananas and ... [Continue reading this entry]

Missing Christmas

Thursday, December 25th, 2008
by Rob Siem Reap, Cambodia We have just spent the last month leading up to Christmas travelling through lands that will all "miss" it. In Laos in particular, there were no Christmas trees in the malls, no piped carols in the ... [Continue reading this entry]

Christmas Eve

Wednesday, December 24th, 2008
by Rach Siem Reap, Cambodia  Our first full day in Cambodia with the H's. Lots of different experiences:

 

[Continue reading this entry]

bustling bangkok kristmas

Sunday, December 21st, 2008
by Rachael Bangkok, Thailand With a day to fill in before the H's arrive, we decided to wander downtown in the hopes of finding a belated birthday cake for J13. This was to be about an 8km round trip...one which, according ... [Continue reading this entry]

?Christmas?

Friday, December 19th, 2008
by someone listening to carols on the ipod Vientiane, Laos to Bangkok, Thailand via Nong Khai, Thailand There are signs of Christmas in communist Laos. That is to say, there are Christmas trees and fairy lights and a Santa-at-the-north-pole-scene outside a ... [Continue reading this entry]

timeless

Tuesday, December 16th, 2008
joint observations, written up by Rach Phonsavanh, Laos On the way to Phonsavan, Rob commented that apart from satellite dishes and mobile phones, Laos seems stuck in a 1970s timewarp. I countered that with dirt-floored huts under thatched roofs, it is more ... [Continue reading this entry]