THE MANIC AND THE MELLOW
Well we made it out of Mumbai, but not without India throwing us some final punches on the way to the airport. We caught a safe looking private taxi from outside our hotel to the airport, allowing 2 hours to go less than 20 km based on Mumbai’s legendary reputation for traffic. Everything seemed great after the mandatory 5 men finished their discussion about the pending journey for another few minutes (It appears to take a minimum of 5 men to complete most service tasks in India, I think this may be law)
Now there is a way to get to one train station closer to where we were staying, take a local train to a station closer to the airport (but not that close) and then catch a taxi form there, but it would have been at rush hour which every guide book says is a crazy thing to attempt, especially with backpacks on. The trains are packed and nuts. Just take a taxi they say. And getting to and from each end would have meant even more tedious negotiations with taxi divers. Now believe me if this was Vienna, we would have taken 8 connections to get to the airport as needed and it still would have been easier and less stressful. (In fact, we did take 3 seamless connections to get to the Vienna airport)
So the drive started out calmly enough as we settled into the thick traffic heading out of the Colaba neighborhood of South Mumbai, but then we started to slowly realize that our 20-something driver was a testosterone laden nut. He proceeded to use the oncoming lanes frequently to try to pass on quasi-highways and alternately would use the inside “curb” lane to try to make some progress when things had stopped for about 10 minutes halfway into our trip. He was not gaining anything as the inside lane was clogged with throngs of carts, people, and dogs also trying to make there way along the streets. When he passed on the outside, he would often spend more time trying to merge back into traffic then those just residing themselves to the slow pace of Mumbai’s nightmare transportation system. (And yes, we felt guilty that we were adding to this mess). Meanwhile we passed glitzy new high rise “neighborhoods” with lines of nice cars streaming out into the clogged mess alternating with some of the worst slum living that I have seen, including piles of trash burning, tarp cities, and men defecating 5 feet from the car traffic. India is so disturbing, that I still get upset with people who glamorize it in any way. It’s a mess, both socially and environmentally. Sure, it’s not all bad and you have to look forward, but please be realistic. Any yes, I know the South is much different, so again I speak for the 13 places we visited.
So when traffic really started to crawl, he turned and asked what time are flight was and we told him midnight, so we still had plenty of time. No panic, my crazy friend was the tone of both our voices….but it did not seem to matter. He proceeded down a side six lane boulevard which seemed to have a variable flow traffic system in place similar to the Golden Gate Bridge as the crush of traffic was taking 4 to 5 lanes and only one lane was managing to squeeze by in the opposite direction. (Of course this system was voluntary) That of course was until our brainiac driver decided to take the sixth lane as a “shortcut” and then couldn’t merge back into the other lanes as the intersection ahead was completely and seemingly girdlocked. So one of the old 1950’s style Fiat like black and yellow Mumbai meter taxis approached and slowed as it looked like he might be able to squeeze by. Sccreeeunhch! Nope, his bruiser taxi with 3-inch thick steel bumpers proceeded to tear off the back corner panel and part of the bumper of our taxis shiny new Tata compact sedan. So the two taxis actually got stuck together with interlocked bumpers and no way to maneuver out. If the bruiser taxi had proceeded then our car would have lost the whole bumper and probably part of the small trunk. So now we’re thinking great, we really are never going to get out of India and this now going to take an hour to sort out, although clearly our driver was completely at fault for being three lanes over into oncoming traffic. The frequent feelings of claustrophobia that I had in India came back quickly, filling me with a panic that being in a sea of 20 million people can only induce.
Well, luckily 20 of the 1000 men on that particular block of Mumbai all started to offer their opinions on how the two cars could get apart, and then proceeded to help lift the back and back bumper of the bruiser taxi to the side. More crunching steel on plastic and other bad sounds as the cars finally came apart. Now, clearly our driver did not own this car and it was obvious from the expression on his face after surveying the damage that he was going to be in a world of hurt when he got back to the boss man. Despite his “Fast and Furious” inspired driving style, we felt really bad for him. But there is no need for paperwork since only the one (at fault) car had real damage, we were actually on our way in about 5 minutes. We still think that the bruiser taxi did this on purpose as his tank was untouched and he wanted to teach our driver a lesson for gridlocking all the oncoming traffic. Yup, cars are stupid, and they are multiplying in India along with young males and an advertising campaigns showing blinged-out hipsters racing through the imaginary streets of the new India.
So did he proceed to mellow out and take it easy the rest of the way? No way. We were both certain that he might have at least 1 or maybe 2 more accidents before we made it to the airport. He was just a bad driver, but we had no choice as we were where the taxis would only be passing by full, since no taxi would be cruising empty in 10 miles of crawling traffic. But we screeched into the terminal 2 hours later, completely wigged out and shaking a bit, but happy to have made it in one piece. I’m sure he’ll have a completely different story for his boss (the Camel came out of nowhere!), but I still gave him a good tip out of sheer pity for the fact that was clearly a fellow in the wrong profession and I suspect would be looking for other work now. It’s hard to be a saint in the city of Mumbai.
So we had a short 3 1/2 hour flight to Bangkok and managed to get a few hours of sleep prior to a 5-hour layover in the somewhat cavernous new Bangkok airport. Everything in the airport was orderly. We got off in Surat Thani, got our baggage in 5 minutes and then asked how we could get to Ko Samui island. Here is your ticket, there is the bus that will connect you to the ferry terminal in an hour or so and so were getting off onto the island about 4 easy hours later. No hassles, everybody mellow. Taxi from the pier to the area of island that we wanted to look for housing. Everything easy and only one person completes each task. Very strange.
So we lucked out and got two nights at my first choice little place called the Lodge, on the Bo Phut beach. It was fabulous and probably one the most pleasant places that I have ever stayed. (and for $34)
They were booked from today on, so we took a little walk down the beach yesterday and checked out a few other places and found one we liked for a similar price. No hassles, they tell you the price and show you the room. I can’t really describe the difference from India as a traveller. The Thai people are so nice, and so mellow. Ho honking, no running you off the road out of sheer motorized arrogance, and they ask you once if you wold like something and give a clear answer to questions. Granted, this is an uber tourist island, so it may be different as we hopefully encounter more genuine Thai life in the interior and mountains of the North.
Oh, and yes the food is great, with the more casual and local looking places off the beach strip serving the best food. (An easy rule of thumb anywhere).
Yup, it’s paradise here and on Saturday we are going to head to the more coral laced Koh Tau for another 4 nights, as long as we squeeze out some accommodation prior o the Holliday onslaught due in a week or so. Then we’ll be ready to get back to some more challenging travel again, as we now just need now a vacation from our travels.
Peace to all and especially the 1.1 Billion Indians. May you rise and prosper.
Tags: India, SE Asia, Thailand, Travel, Tag Index
rich.coffin
December 17th, 2006 at 9:07 am
hey you to travellers !
reading your blog is jsut wonderful and i am so jeaulos of you ! i wish you a merry christmas and further all the best in your travel. good health and please keep on lighten my currently boring life up wiht your great reports ! its aweeesome !
Hannes
March 21st, 2007 at 9:00 pm
Hahahhaha
I am a journalist from Mumbai and I really enjoyed reading your post about the taxi driver…
I was working on a story on taxis and stumbled upon your blog 🙂