Found Family! (part one)
February 3rd, 2006February 2, 2006
Found Family! (Part one)
Hello Everyone- What a WONDERFUL day I have had. It started out very slow and unfocused (like much of my trip). I was finally feeling better health wise. I was waiting on the owner of the hostel to come in and give me my chores for the day. I was unaware that she was teaching school and wouldn’t be out until later in the day.
Allen, the dreamboat of a contractor (way too young for this old lady- but great eye-candy!) was working on finishing up the remodeling of the men’s bathroom. I was just hanging out getting ready for going to the Gavin’s Internet Expensive Café to send out the bog that I had forgotten to download. And I was just thinking about things.
Alfia still didn’t show up by mid-day (12:00), so I told Allen that I would do some errands and be back in an hour or so. I walked to my new haunt the church down the streets, stopped and said a prayer to God “Ok God, I’m here- exactly like you wanted. Now lets get on with it. Please send me the next sign to know where I am to go on from here – Thanks for getting me this far- Amen”. Left out and went around the corner to Gavin’s.
Gavin’s is a video, international calling and Internet store. He is a man around my age bracket (40-55) and nice enough. He watch’s me, I don’t know why. But I do feel his watchful eyes. He is a busy guy; the place is hopping every time I’m in. He as one station for a laptop network connection and I bring my own and hook up.
I uploaded (downloaded- whatever) the rogue blog and check to see if anyone has BOTHERED to write to me. NO E-MAILS! For the last 17 days I would get at least 1 e-mail! But at 17 days, I am forgot to the western world….boo hoo.
Yesterday, I had written to Mary and John who lives in Westport and whom I met on the Internet one time. I told them “I’m here!!! (That aught to scare the be-gibbers out of them!) And I e-mailed a woman, Dr. Yvonne Murphy. She is into healing and had a God Realization, which she stated on her flyer that was hanging in a health food store. I figured she was up my alley and I wrote her up. I checked and neither of them replied.
I did type up a resume of sorts. I listed my name, my intention (staying in Westport for 3 months) and my need of job (jobs) and accommodations. I listed my variety of work experience. I intend to give a copy of this resume and my photo calling card and drop them to all the businesses. I figure if they aren’t in need of help, they might come across something and think of me! Stranger things have happened. If anything they will have a photo of the crazy American. I ended up only typing up a ruff draft and I’ll work on it. I also had to find a place that I can get copies made. Got a few connections.
It was a glorious day and figured I would check back at the hostel and see if Alfia came in yet. She hadn’t and I dropped off my heavy computer and got my camera. I don’t have the money, but I thought maybe I would get something to eat, so I can enjoy the remainder of my day. I couldn’t decide where to go. There are tons of places, at least, to eat in Westport. That’s one thing with Westport- you will never go hungry or die of thirst in this little town – it has 70 pubs (in 3 streets) and most likely that many shops that have sandwich’s to full dinners- from 3.50 euros to 35.00 euros. It is AMAZING. I could most likely eat at a different restaurant every day and not hit them all for a month or two!
I kept being pulled to a little café that is on the other side of the Mill Hostel that I’m staying at. It’s called “Café Mahon”. It is ran by Brian Mahon, an Irishman from Dublin that didn’t like the city. He is very friendly and helpful. I went in and settled on a tuna melt and chips (French fries) and water. (OH NO, she’s going to tell us what she’s eating- OH NO!)
The other customers left and I was alone when a woman came out of the kitchen and took my order. She was cleaning up the tables and I said, how do you like your job? She said that she really liked it. I said well, it’s in a beautiful building; it’s so nice that they built it to replicate the Old Mill. She agreed. I asked her how long she had been working here. She said only 3 weeks now. I asked her if she lived in Westport and she said she had her whole life. I said, do you know where Honey Cottage is? (It was the address of the South African lady that I told you about). She didn’t know it off hand. She said what is the name of the person that you are looking for? I told her Norleen’s name and she said, I know Norleen well. She comes in here at half eleven every Monday. I was shocked! Norleen told me she didn’t know anyone in Westport, but apparently they know her. We talked about how I had met Norleen and I was so thrilled to have found someone that knew her. She did say that Norleen lived half way between Westport and Newport. And it was quite a walk. There was a bus, but it ran at odd times at this time of year. I told her that I tried to call her, but I was having quite a difficult time with the pay phones here. They (Brian joined us) explained to me as to what numbers to use and what not to when calling local numbers.
I was so happy to find out SOMETHING, so I figured, maybe she knows someone in my family? So I asked, she didn’t know the Callaghan name. I said, well Theresa Callaghan married and her name would be Theresa Walsh. She said, yes I know her. I could have been blown over with a feather! I started to giver her information about Theresa that I knew. She would be in her late 60’s to early 70’s? Yes. She has a son, that is the youngest, Anthony? Yes. She has only one daughter? Yes. Her daughters name starts with a G? Yes. OK, she has her oldest: Eamon? Yes- OH MY GOD! I FOUND FAMILY!
Patricia (that this God-Gifts name) told me that Theresa’s daughter works at O’Neil’s drapery shop (a place I have walked past everyday that I have been here) and she would most likely be there today. I could of jumped out of my seat! I couldn’t believe that it could be this easy!
I quickly ate my lunch and made a remark to Patricia that she had to get the job here 3 weeks ago so that she could help me. She laughed- but I knew it was true. I thanked both Patricia and Brian profusely for all their help and quickly walked to O’Neil’s to find my 3rd cousin, Gerlyn (pronounced Geraline). Her married name is Ruddy- Gerlyn Walsh Ruddy.
As I walked, I took note of my feelings. I could of floated! It has been over 25 years that I have wanted to find the family of John Callaghan- the Great uncle that I never met- yet loved. I loved his tenderness to his brother. I loved his compassion for his family and most of all his love and passion for his country. I did love this man through his letters to his brother, Patrick. The brother he was never to see again in this life. I had finally found his blood line- and she was just around the corner – and she was completely unaware that I was here to find her. It felt AMAZING.
As I got closer I started to wonder what she would think when I walked in and said, “Hi, I’m your cousin from America”. Would she react in a positive way or a cautious way?
I didn’t let it stop me or waver me in anyway. I walked in and a lady in her 60’s was behind the counter. I knew that wasn’t here. From my deduction (and help from Joey Mahoney) I figured Gerlyn to be in her middle to late 40’s – my age. I looked around and got concerned that she might not be in today or maybe out to lunch. It was a very small store (surprise) and it was laden with bedding, curtains and displays. The couple that was talking to the older lady didn’t even attempt to move to allow me past and I just looked around. Then out of the corner of my eye I spotted movement in the corner and I heard the voice of a young woman. I turned and here was a beautiful dark haired woman. This MUST be Gerlyn. I waited for her to give me eye contact and finally she said “hello”. I said, are you Gerlyn Ruddy? She was surprised to be addressed like this and said yes. I said I am your cousin from America. She was dumbfounded and she just blinked. She then said, I didn’t know I had cousins in America? Usually (a name I couldn’t hear) has all kinds of people come in and say they are relations from America- but I never have? But she didn’t say it to me; she said it to the older lady at the counter. The older lady and the two people that were talking to this woman were interested in what was going on. They watched without turning their heads – like over-hearing but not involving themselves too much. She looked at me like, how? I said that I was the great-granddaughter of the sister of your Grandfather John Callaghan. She asked why was I here in Ireland? I said to find you.
Gerlyn was really side blinded by this information, she couldn’t think. She turned to the older lady and said, I will take that few minutes, and we will go get a cup a tea. The older woman nodded and we left out.
We walked down the street and she yelled questions and things to 2 different people – one girl wanting to know if they were busy and another as to if she found what she wanted in the store that morning. I felt very odd. I following this beautiful woman, a woman my own age who was a direct blood relative and she never knew I existed. I knew of her, but she never had a thought of me until that very day I walked into her door. I guess I knew what it felt like to be the child that a father never knew about. It felt Odd. And I felt a bit guilty that I side-blinder her like this.
She took me down a cute little alleyway and up some back steps to a wonderful little sandwich shop. It is so amazing how they have all these hidden little alleyways to little jewels. I had been down this street 30 times in the last few days and never saw this little area. I like these little surprises.
We found a seat in the front and she got a pot of tea for us to share and she got a sandwich. She sat down and said I need you to explain this to me. She had brought a piece of paper and needed me to tell her how her and I are connected. This is what we came up with
John Callaghan (her Grandfather) ——- Bridget (Agnes) Loftus (my Great-
Grandmother)
They are brother and sister
Theresa Walsh (her mother) ———— Mary Middleton (my Grandmother)
1st Cousins
Gerlyn Ruddy (her) ————————-Maureen Maxwell (my mother)
2nd cousins
her daughter (don’t know her name) —– Kym McBride (me)
3rd cousins
She didn’t understand why she was a 2nd cousin to my mother and not to me (age wise) – I had no idea – I was in an odd place and feeling odder by the minute.
I told her that I have letters from her Grandfather to his brother in America. That I loved these letters, and her Grandfather was an amazing man. She looked at me like she had never thought of him in that way. She said, he wasn’t an educated man; they must have been very short. I said, no they were not, he wrote a lot and often and he was very intelligent. I don’t think she knew this man. These letters will really change her; it will help her to see him differently.
She called her mother on her mobile and there was no answer. She then tried to call her cousin (Annie O’Donnell’s) daughter, Marie. She said that Marie would be really interested in the history of this whole thing. (Wonderful!) But Marie also did not answer.
We talked about her rash; which developed due to sanding floors in her home. And she has had a terrible reaction to it. She was very self-conscious of it. I didn’t think it was that bad, but it got redder and redder as we sat there.
Gerlyn gave me numbers to both her mother and cousin Marie. She had to run back to work and said to call them. I stayed to finish my tea and just slumped into the chair. The realization that I found family was settling with me. I was happy. I wasn’t alone anymore. I hope John, Patrick, Ann, and Mary are happy- I’ve come back for them all.
Kym
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