Traveling seeker in British Isles

NOTE: by mistake and just learning what I’m doing- I did not enter this entry at the correct time. I’m sorry for any confusion this might cause. But it shows a day in Dublin and now that I’m in Westport – I didn’t want you to be confused- but if you are – Sorry.
Kym

Friday, January 27, 2006

Good morning or Good night whatever it is suppose to be. Well, it’s 2:26AM and I find myself in another sleepless night. I did get a few hours in this afternoon, so I’m not so out of my mind. This is really a difficult situation that I find my self in trying to get on a regular sleeping schedule. But again I find myself whining!

Yesterday, Thursday, I did get out and got photos of St. Stephens’s Green- a huge garden in the middle of a very green-less cityscape. It was wonderful it made you feel what it was like in Victorian times. I could just see the woman walking with their big-hooped skirts and parasols and the men with their top hats and cigars walking about. The center is around a fountain and walkways in a circle and then they veer-off to the four corners. It was lovely and a much needed green fix for me. There was a summerhouse along the pond and ducks and lots of places to sit and just be. Did I mention before that in the city there is nowhere to just take a load off? No bench’s (accept in the big shopping Mecca and along the River (the newer areas of Dublin). But else where you can’t find a resting spot – and trust me I have looked. These little feet would love to take this load off every now and then!

As I was saying the other day, that the city is a very maneuverable place. That is if your NOT Kym McBride. I was going to two places today- St. Stephen’s Green (which is what I was going to days ago and got lost for the day) and Trinity College – the two biggest things in the whole city. Well, I finally found the park without any problem. Straight down the street and ran right into it. Then I came out and followed the map (I thought!) and ended up walking until my legs were yelling at me. Boy being psychic has not helped me one bit on this journey! I think that I walked to England! I finally asked a nice man for directions and he said, “you have a long walk ahead of you” – THANKS- I have ALREADY had a long walk…

I, of course, was all turned about AGAIN! How do I do it? I went to Boston one year with the two most inept map-readers in the world (my mother and step-father) and I was able to find our way all around town. And I was only 15 years old or so. What the hell is going on? If it weren’t for me they would STILL be caught on the roundabout in Boston! OH, again I digress… So I find my way all the way back to Trinity College. This is where the very famous Book of Kells (ALARM- HISTORY LESSON COMING-ALARM) the Book of Kells is a 4-volume collection of the Gospels. Each page holds intricate Celtic designs, interwoven with images of animals and Latin text. The books were stolen and in 1007 they were found buried. They are on display at the Trinity College in the Old Library and they are so rare that they turn only one page every month to help preserve them. There are also 4 other important books that are on rotating displays. I didn’t get to see them, it was 8E and I had to weigh eating or seeing the books – I voted for eating.

At Trinity College, I walked around on the really old paves, I surprised I didn’t break an ankle! It was nice- lots of old buildings, but it wasn’t as impressive as I would of thought it would be. It is also all walled and gated off, just like St. Stephen’s Green (they love walls here) – I did get some photos for the ART-card line. This had the most tourists (with cameras) that I have seen anywhere.

As I walked out the gate I recognized where I was – I had been here before! Here was the area that I walked when I was here only a day or two and was just meandering around. I was only a wall away from Trinity College and I didn’t even know it! DUH! So I had my bearings again and went back down Grafton Street (big shopping area) toward home and to find some food to warm my cockles.

I AGAIN really had to pee and thought – McDonalds! There is always a potty in there – free! (I feel that the only real contribution that McDonalds has made to the world is a free potty for all to use at any time of day- Thank you McDonalds for being there for me on all my journeys in and out of my country)
So I went in – on the windows here it’s call “Café McDonalds” – just to classy up the joint! It was HUGE. It just went on and on and it was PACKED! This is amazing, with all the wonderful home made foods to be found just feet away, all these crazy people are eating the junk of McDonalds! It must be cheap here! OH NO IT’S NOT! The cheapest thing was 5.50 E and it was a happy meal! I was shocked, so much so that I refused to use their potty. (Plus it was up on the second floor and I didn’t think that my old worn out legs could get up and then back down again…I’d hold it in protest!)

By then it was getting pretty chilly. The entire time I have been here it was been balmy for me. You know, like 40’s, I could get away with just my light jean jacket. But today I had to pull out the GLOVES! And when the sun went down – I really could of used my wool coat. (John is happy right now- it was his donation to the trip) I stopped into a little and I mean LITTLE soup shop and got a potatoes and leek soup with tomato bread. Quite good if you like to sip soup in a dollhouse! Hit my limit on food expenses for the day and it was only 1pm. (I broke the bank later)

I then dragged my no-sleeping-over-used-tired-legs down the quaint streets and found the last benches to sit on for minute then off down the street to the Hostel. On the way I was looking for a pharmacy (yes they still have them – no CVS here yet!) and came upon a Chinese Remedy shop that looked like it should be in a Twilight Zone episode. I was a bit weary as to what I would get, but the window said they have herbal remedies for Insomnia and I had a baaaad case of that. So I went in and a young Chinese man looked at me like I had 5 heads. As I tried to explain my plight an older man came out from a back room and helped me. He told me to take 2 or 3 pills with water and then count to 30 and keep doing this until I fall a sleep. And beware, if you wake up at 3AM – DO NO OPEN YOUR EYES – if you do you will never get back to sleep! But he said that they are not addictive (I get very addictive with over the counter sleep meds. That’s why I put off getting something earlier) and no side affects. Which is good since I don’t eat well and my hair is already falling out! I don’t need MORE side affects! Then he hit me with the price- 15 Euros! YIKES! I really can’t eat for days now – but if I don’t get any real rest, I won’t need to eat for I will KILL myself!

So I coughed up the money and ran across the street to swallow a few and get a few hours of shuteye –and it was only 1:15PM.

I was able to sleep till 5pm and I was groggy but I had to get my butt up to make some calls to a hostel and a B&B in Westport for the weekend. I read that they sometimes offer barter for room with work. I feel that I am drawn to one – the hostel in particular, I don’t know why and my “feelings” have been so off on this adventure- I’m a bit leery. Then there is a B&B that sounds promising.

I get out my little pocket notebook (my life line) and my travel book and my handy dandy calling card that is the most temperamental shit I have ever had to deal with and go to the closed in payphone in the hostel. I look up on the net the sights to get as much info as possible first- put on my best “I am such a valuable person you will be so grateful that I have come to your stoop” voice and call. The hostel that I’m drawn to (old mill holiday hostel) with has dorms (yuck) for 16 e (yea!) a night, is again an answering machine! And it’s the same message that was there a few days ago. It says that they are closed the 24-26th and will re-open at 6PM just for the night. Well, it’s 730pm on the 26th and no answer, just the stupid message. It does allow me to leave a message and I say Hi, my name is Kym McBride and I was coming to the area for 3 months and I saw that they sometime offer a barter of a room for work. I am a mature woman who is very reliable and capable and would be a very….BEEP.

DAMN…I don’t want to call back again (37 numbers later) so I decide that I will go back to the Euro eating Internet machine in the hostel and write them e-mail. And I say pretty much the same thing without being cut off- at least not by the beep but by the Euro.

I go back to the phone and call the second place. Dunnings Pub and B&B. It looks really nice and new on the web and they are very diversified. The have the pub, the B&B and Dunning’s Cyber pub! You can be using the Internet and drink beer all for the wonderful cost of 7.50 euros for ONE-HOUR Internet and 3.50 euros for a Guinness! Drunk and broke…

But they see a need and have filled it….just the way I have to think. I called and talked to Pat (older Irish man) and he said that I have to talk to Mary, but she doesn’t come in much anymore. The best way was to contact her by e-mail. Seemed nice enough- at least he answered the phone. I asked if he had any rooms for Saturday and he said yes. I said I’d call him back. I wrote Mary and on her site it says that she will get back to me in 24 hours – so I have crossed my fingers and will call tomorrow- to both of them.

In my e-mail I tried to put my strengths forward and be confident, but I ended up begging for a barter of a room. At least that’s my take. I’ll see if I can pull a copy and re-read it and see if it was just my perception at the time.

I’m still hoping that after I get there that I will really hit it off with Norlene the South African lady and she lets me stay with her. She is involved in some amazing work and I would like to get to know her and help. I don’t remember if I told you about her- I don’t think so. I did write 2 very long blogs on her a while back and when I went to post them- they got dropped! I have since learned to write them in my word program and then just copy and paste into the blog. But it took me losing about 4-2 hour bogs to learn that little lesson! Plus my blog company doesn’t let me spell check – and if you saw the drafts of these blogs you would kiss the butt of the guy that designed the Word Program. I have enough mistakes with the spell check – without it, it is almost un-readable! (I know Debby; your saying my writing IS un-readable! Always a critic in the bunch!) But at least I AM writing- are you?

I will write a blog on the South African lady living in Ireland another day. I want to make sure that I get all my facts as correct as I can. So it will be later.

I did want to tell you about some odd things that are happening with me. One, those who don’t know me, and to some that do it still might be surprising (my brother for one). I have had MALE issues for most of my life. (Ok- stop laughing!) I’m sure it was not a HIDDEN thing. But I have been doing a lot of work on this for the last 7 months in particular. I really don’t find myself physically attracted to men. Not that I’m lusting after Woman. It’s just that it is rare that I find a “real” man very attractive. I find non-real men VERY attractive, like George Clooney, and Brad Pitt. But I haven’t gotten excited over an average guy for a VERY long time. (Yes John, I WAS very attracted to you at one time (my ex!)) It’s almost like that part of me went to the wayside. And I was pretty fine with it. Figured it was my age, the fact that I had more important things to think about.

One day my friend Linda started to give me a reading we were driving down the highways and byways from a trip to New York City. I was driving and she was reading me, which we were not trying to do. Her guides popped in with information and Linda started it with: “I know you don’t want to hear this, but…” She laughs, every woman she has ever read has asked if “she’ll meet a man” and I’m the only one that NEVER wanted to hear that!
The minute she says this to me I see in my minds eye a man. I first shocked by the popping in – that usually means a contact from the other side and two- I’m DRIVING! I don’t say anything to Linda and she starts to describe the very man that I see in my head! This has NEVER happened to me before- to see what another psychic is seeing!

I start to get “information” on him myself and she starts saying the same information as she is getting it. To sum it up, he is tall, on the thin side. He is a teacher or professor. Very well educated and well read. He is in his 60’s (I choked on this – I’m ONLY 47! And I have always been attracted to YOUNGER men! But in hindsight, maybe that was my problem!) He is very well known and knows EVERYONE. He is very talkative and even sings in pubs. He is a widower and his wife passed many years ago. He lives in the home he grew up in. He adores me! And calls me a nick name. Which I will not revel here. (2 psychics have told me the same thing). He is supportive of my objectives of this trip (radio show, medium ship and photography) and bends over backwards to support me in all endeavors. He is not into psychic stuff himself, but knows many that are. He is full of contacts and takes me on trips to meet EVERYONE. Did I mention that he ADORES me?

Well, why I tell you this is that I knew that I was not healed enough to meet this man. I wasn’t to the place that I have to be to bring a person like this into my life. I knew it was time to deal with some of these issues and living with my friend Linda was an important part in this development. So we started doing sessions on my male stuff. She calls it role-playing and it is just like you see on TV sitcoms (which is were I first heard of it). It is powerful stuff. It seems dumb at first, but fear has a way of making us feel that way when it knows it’s going to lose its grip on you. Well, we did 2 sessions and I had profound changes in my behaviors that I developed to deal with this pain. I won’t go into it here, the details are private, but trust me I saw a difference within days of our first session. I don’t pretend HOW it works, I just know it does.

Anyway- I only had time for 2 sessions and wished I had more, but time got away from us. Well, why I even share this is that I am having ALL KINDS of feelings toward MEN. When I first arrived I went to a pub across the street from the hostel. The bartender waited on me and I felt an odd pull to him. I was in my own little panic world, so I didn’t pay attention to it. But 2 days later, it was so strong that I couldn’t ignore it. I hadn’t even talked to this man and I realized that I was attracted to him- physically! This is a very odd thing for me! I felt that he also felt the pull but that’s not even important here. It’s that I felt physically attracted to a real man. Just on a purely physical level! I did fall in love with a man since my divorce, but it was on a mental level. This was completely different. This is what MEN do.

So this physical attraction has gotten nowhere with this man, but the feelings have been so strong. I have had many thoughts throughout the day on carnal (sp?) stuff. Maybe I’m picking up the “sexual” feelings of all the 20-something year olds that are living in the hostel with me. But whatever, it’s a new thing for me! I hear that men think about sex like all the time, but ME? I am NOT having them at the young boys around me though. It is mostly about this bartender and other men in my age group! I find I am checking out men in the pub I frequent…I’m just a honey-old-broad now! I guess I’m healing!
I really hope so; I really need a Sugar Daddy! And with the thoughts I’ve been having – I hope I don’t kill him!

The Second odd thing that is happening is: you know when you type or write things; you hear a voice that is your own in your head. We all do it. But my voice is now different. It has an Irish borough, its not a thick one, but is definitely there. (I know you’re all rolling your eyes or laughing at me). Now, remember I am NOT hearing that much Irish borough here – some, but not a ton. I figured that as time goes bye I would pick up a word or phrase here and there and start using it – but to hear it in my own head in my own voice? That’s odd- even for me!

I find that I am using terms and phases in my writing that I don’t even use or have even heard here. I wonder what’s happening? Am I channeling or taping into me in a past life? I’ve been told that I have been born here many times but I have never been able to live my life out here. I have been killed in many wars abroad. But this time I would be able to die on the Irish soil. If anyone knows of what this is or could be happening to me- please drop me a line. This is freaky, even for me.

OK, enough sharing. The time is now 5AM..BEEP

Love you all but not as much as sleep right now

Godspeed,
Kym

Tags: Travel

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