Traveling seeker in British Isles

3-17-06
 

   Today I find myself up at 7:30AM with the feeling like Christmas’s of the past.  I’m anxious and excited about the events of the day!
 
  Today is my FIRST St. Patty’s Day to be celebrated in Ireland.  Even though everyone says that St. Patty’s day in Ireland is really a holy holiday and is NOT anything like St. Patrick’s Day in America- from what I have been seeing, that is not completely true.
 
  I have seen and felt a HUGE energy shift in this wonderful little town of Westport.  All the colorful slices of shops that devour the 3 or 4 streets of Westport have window displays that are dominated by the “green”.  In windows are green balloons, and shamrocks, cardboard cut outs of leprechaun’s and dolls dressed in shamrock finest.
 
 Added in, the array of silly things that are sure fire hits with the tourists that can’t wait to buy useless items just because it has the Westport name and photo’s on them, like, huge pencils, shot glass’s, coasters, linen hanging things, walking sticks, dolls, pipes, coffee mugs and anything else some company makes to take the expendable income of tourists- you find it in the stores of Westport.
 
  I witnessed the “changing of the postcards” which are in EVERY store.  For the last 2 months I have see the rained on, the wind blown, the bent corners of the postcards on the ¾ empty racks that are a staple in the shops and hanging on the doors.  But in the last week they have been replaced with fresh ones with wonderful color but are photos that have been taken in the last decade – but never get old to the tourists that flood this magical place.
 
I saw the installation of the colorful flowers that are planted in the ground around the Octagon and the Clock tower that welcome the hordes of tourist that have begun the decent on Westport for the “downing of the Shamrock” – which is what the locals refer to on this most holy day.
 
  The shops in the town close down on this “bank holiday”.  The only places that are open are the restaurants and the pubs and OF COURSE the newsagents of whom I work for!!?!?!?! 
 
I, Kym McBride who has never worked or gone to school on St. Patties day – HAS TO WORK ON ST. PATTY’S DAY IN IRELAND!!!!  Do you too see the ironicness of this?  It is NOT lost on me.

[read on]

February 4, 2006

The Meeting of Family

When I was just a wee bit of a tot, I can remember having big get together’s with my immediate and extended family. These occasions were not appreciated, as they should have been. I had no idea that as my aunts and uncles and all my cousins converged into my Grandmothers house, that these days were not to last. I didn’t know that they would be forever etched into my mind as some of the best times in my childhood memories. I loved these times; this is what family was – all of us. Even as the beer and liquor was passed around, and the disagreements were sure to follow, I didn’t know. I didn’t know that they were going to be short sweet morsels of time that I would long for, for the rest of my adult life. I didn’t know that the yelling and crying that were sure to ensue when you get boys and girls cousins together of all ages, were moments that I would seek out even if unconsciously- for the remainder of my days…

They didn’t last. As my grandmother and grandfather got older, and Great-uncles and aunts moved to warmer weather and more had passed away- we were never to have these impromptu get-togethers. They started to dwindle down to only happen around the holidays and as sand drains through the glass of time- these family times together became memories.

The next generation began to have them. They were great times with my mother’s siblings. We knew each other, we got mad at each other, and we loved each other. But they didn’t last either. I remember asking my Aunt Gail why we didn’t get together like in the old days and she said that it was the ebb and flow of life. The family gets together when the children are young, but as life and family grows, they as an individual family have to start to bond on their own. It wasn’t because of something that had happened – but it just happens. It’s the way that life goes. I remember being very upset about this- I felt that there was so much to learn and more bonding to do with the family as a whole- not in its smaller parts. But I accepted it-begrudgley.

Even into our 40’s my sister Traci has tried to revive these moments. Getting her immediate and extended family together with other sides of the family (in-laws and such). But they don’t have the same feelings. They don’t have the same commonerity, the feeling of connections. They leave us disappointed. They leave us still empty. Is the feeling of family get-togethers only a time of the past- never to be experienced again?

I don’t have the answer…. at least I didn’t, until I walked into the home of Teresa Walsh and HER family, which I’m so happy to know- is now MY family.

On our last visit, Teresa with daughter-in-law, Mary in tow, set up the time of 11AM to pick me up at the hostel on Saturday. I had gotten up early and wanted to get into the shower before the 2 women and 1 man, who were for Germany, in the room next to me got up and were getting about.

My intent was to shower and dress and get down to the common room to meet with Afia (E-FA) to see where I can help out before I leave for the day. I have to trade work for my bed and I don’t want to cause any hard feelings with this arrangement.

I got down about 9:45 and Alfia was not around. Here in Ireland there is a program of recycling. The Mill is involved in the program, and the benefits are great. They get free recycled building materials for their involvement. It is big business here and everywhere people are involved. Alfia was off to the dump (recycling center) this morning. In her place was Mr. Dreamy- his real name is Allen and he’s the construction guy that is re-doing the floors in the dorms. He’s in his late 20’s, good looking, and has dark wavy hair. A really nice body – not too big and not small, and wears his jeans well. He is educated, well versed in plays, events, and poetry. He is a rugby player, likes to visit the pubs for a pint or two, and he’s such a hard worker. He’s the whole package. And he is SO easily on the eyes! If I was a bit younger…but I’m not, so eye candy he will stay. Anyway, he was in having some breakfast and he was talking with a woman from England. The woman was originally born in Westport, and then was transplanted to England to grow up. Her mother is in a retirement center in England and hates it, as this woman does too (hates England). She is on a researching trip to seek out a new place in Ireland to move her mother and herself too. She has of course has a bit of a fancy for Westport and she is checking out the possibilities. She is pure Irish in the way that she loves to talk – as do Mr. Dreamy, and I so we have a bit of a crack going this AM.

I’m a bit anxious because I need to be up at the top of the street by 11AM, yet I need to get some work done to keep things in good shape with Alfia. So at 10AM on the dot I go to the dorm to start stripping 8 beds (which I heard Alifa say the day before). But as I enter, I see that there are still some boys in bed! I say check out was at 10AM, and turn and leave. I go back down to the common room and have a bit of tea and wait. About 20 minutes later, I see 2 young men come down and leave. So I make my way back up. I walk in on a boy getting dressed after a shower. I am all the way in now and I do have a schedule- so I apologize after being startled. I go to the other end of the room and start stripping the beds. This boy leaves and another enters from the shower room. When I finally get to where this boy is packing I make mention to him that he is lucky that I found him still in bed and not my boss. I told him she would let him know in no uncertain way that he was in need to get himself gone. He said, well then I’m certainly glad that you found us this morning. He was an American and I asked where was he from? He said that he was from Ohio. I said, No way! So am I! I asked, where in Ohio? And he said Bay Village. I was shocked – I’m in Westport Ireland and I run into a boy from the next suburb over from me! I told him I was from Avon Lake! We chatted a bit and he told me that he was on holiday from school. He was in a year program in Ireland and he would be returning in May to Ohio. He asked me how long I would be in Ireland and I told him that I intended on never returning to America, that I wanted to make my home here. We wished each other luck and I told him to check out my cards in Bay Crafters Gallery, in BAY VILLAGE – OHIO!
It’s a small, small world…

I got the beds stripped, fluffed the others and took all the laundry down to the staff room and got a load started. And got back to the common room with 10 minutes to spare.

At 11AM I went out to see my newfound cousin- Mary. As I was waiting, Alifa drove up, we conversed and Mary came up. She had her cousin with her and we all walked down the street to the parked car. Parking is so hard around here that Mary parked all the way by the Petrol shop. (Gas station). I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get the fact that the cars drivers seat is on the opposite side of the car! I walked up to the car and stood on the wrong side. This habit is so engrained in me! And the ride! I am so freaked out being on the wrong side! I had to close my eyes a few times with all the curves and the fast speed in which they drive!

I saw GREEN, GREEN, and GREEN. It was grand to finally see the Ireland that I have always seen in photos.

Mary, who is the wife of my cousin Liam have been married since 1998. Which was the same year that both my sister Debby and I had married our husbands. They do not have children, unable to. We drove past her house and it was a newly built 2-story home. It was quite nice. We drove another little bit and pulled into her mother in laws home, which was just a stones throw from her own. Mary and her cousin were just dropping me off, they were on their way to Castle bar – for some serious shopping.

Teresa welcomed me into her home with open arms! We sat had the first of many teas and just talked. She has a little dog, named Tiny, which was obviously very old. He was plopped in front of the electric heater (a staple in all Irish homes) and was on his blanket. I could feel his sorrow like it was held on a chain around his neck. I knew he was old, but the sorrow was not from age. I was compelled to get down on the floor with this poor dog. I slowly moved to pet him and I tried to give him some good energy. He was so sad-it made me sad. Teresa said that he was Ted’s dog and he would sit upon Ted’s knee. So that was it, her husband Ted had been gone for 4 years now; the poor sole missed his master. I wanted to cry. He was just waiting to be with him again. Later in reference to this little sad dog, Anthony (I will have a lot to talk about him later) Teresa son, said that in the old days all the dog ever thought of was eating, sleeping and licking his balls- but now he only does two! I kind of guessed which two.

Teresa is a kind woman. She is not loud and not too soft voiced. She is going to be 72 his year and she is as spry as a woman in her early 60’s. And she even looks very young for her age. She is mad for her family and they are all very close. Her son Liam is stones throw down the lane and her daughter Geralyn (Ger-A-Linn) 45 lives through the hedge. She said that she and Ted had the property and she gave it to them to build a new home. Her son Anthony 32 lives with her. He had moved to Spain for a few years when he fell in love with a girl that he had met in Ireland but lived in Spain with her family. He left a good job; sold all his stuff and packed up everything he had and followed her back. But after 2 ½ years the relationship was more working the family’s grape farm then it was a relationship and he returned home.

I got out my computer to show Teresa the letters that she wrote 45 years ago to my Grandmother (her 1st cousin) in America. She is so taken by the fact that anyone would save the letters and all this time too. I told her that they were meant for me to have, just to find her and her family! (She might think I’m odd, but that’s ok.) I told her that she wrote “I do wish my American cousins would come to Ireland for a visit”. I told her – 45 years later, I have finally arrived and she had invited! She has told EVERYONE – Be careful what you put down on paper!

We were alone for a bit and then Anthony came in. As soon as he walked into the room I saw his look lock onto the laptop computer. He went to hug me and said do you know whom I am? And I said you must be Anthony the way that you looked at my computer! And he laughed and said you got me! Anthony is a computer IT person and he’s GORGOUS! What a stunner! He looks so much like his Grandfather, John Callaghan and his uncle John JR. They have VERY distinct jaw lines. Very strong and sharp. And with the tall height, trim body and dark hair – he is just beautiful! And when he talks, you just fall in love with him! He is smart, very health conscious and very generous. He is attentive, and has the dirtiest sense of humor I have ever seen or heard! EVERYTHING is something sexual to him. And he has absolutely no sense of appropriateness to him! He’ll talk about masturbation, and ball licking, and milking tits and anything else he can! He’s a riot! He is very spiritual and can talk in depth about it. Later in the day, while the radio was BLARING the football game between Mayo county and Kerry County, Anthony and I were able to talk a bit more about Spirituality, metaphysics and other such topics. It turns out that he is very open to such thought and he told me about a book called the Power of Now, which I was familiar with, and even owned but had not been able to get through it. It was thick material, but Anthony had said that it had really changed his life. He offered me a book or the audiotapes to listen to. I also had gotten the tape and found them even harder to listen to. The author has the most monotone voice I had ever heard and it has prevented me from reading or listening to the book. But I did agree that I would try and read it again and he gave me his book. He had said that his brother Sean also read the book and they had lively discussions on the topics that it brought up. This excited me much more then Anthony could of imagined. To find family that understood and found great interest in some of the areas that I am into was a joy to behold! I can’t wait to be involved in some of these discussions! Anthony also told me of some friends of his that are into the psychic areas and he will set up a meet with them. He also has met a woman that is American that runs a B&B that he will set up with me to meet her too. She could help me through some of the issues I might find myself in with living in Ireland. He is WONDERFUL! Can you fall in love with your 3rd cousin that is 15 years younger then you? Probably not…

Then Geralyn came over with her 21-year-old son, Darrigh. (Don’t ask me how it is pronounced!) Darrigh is living with his older girlfriend and they are planning on wedding. From what I hear she is a lovely girl that is very hard working (3 jobs) and is attending the University. Darrigh has been in school, but has taken some time off to assist her in her schooling. They are sharing accommodations with another mate. He is a very good-looking young man with very dark hair that is on the longer side. Which is new for him, his mum said he has been shaving his hair off for years. But I was glad to see his beautiful longish hair. He is tall (as all the men that I have met in the family are)- and quite.

Geralyn is the beautiful woman that I first made contact with in the family. She is just stunning and she looks just like a younger version of my Aunt Diane Mahoney in America! My Aunt Diane never looked like anyone in our family; she has china skin, dark brown-black hair, very fine features and wonderful arched eyebrows and lush lips. She has always been stunning and she still is in her late 50’s. But now- seeing Geralyn, I see someone that looks just like her. It’s so funny and comforting- looking at Geralyn I saw my best friend, my Aunt and it felt like home for a little while. It made me miss my Aunt and I wished she could be here with me, meeting her 2nd cousin, Geralyn. It’s mad how our genes work…

Geralyn is funny. She (and her mother) is quite the jokester. They see the funny natures of their family members and they like to pull their strings a bit but it is all in good-natured ness. Geralyn is talkative and always moving. She just can’t seem to sit still for two long. She noticed that like her I too shake my leg, unconsciously. I told her that my older sister Debby does the same thing and it drives my mum crazy! She said that she and someone else (can’t recall) also does it. She also has a lovely body. She has a woman’s body but in a small package. Which means that she has curves. She is quite trim which is surprising since she is quite good at eating. She said that her brother Sean (pronounced Shawn) is the “bin” (garbage can) and everything that is left over is pushed on Sean and if he weren’t here, it would be her! How she keeps her cute figure is a mystery to me!

Ever since I met Geralyn she told me about a cousin of hers that knows EVERYTHING there is to know about family. Her name is Marie and I have been looking forward to meeting her for days! She was the daughter of Annie Callaghan O’Donnell, the sister to Teresa. All day, Teresa kept calling them (Marie and Annie) to see where they were. Marie showed up first with her youngest boy, Neil. Neil is about 2 ½ and very active. Teresa’s house is on the small side, especially with all of us in attendance, and that little boy was everywhere. He feels like an old soul to me and his eyes were much older then his age. He didn’t talk well, but he certainly got his points across to his mum. Marie has two older sons, one is in university and the other one is around 14, so this little Neil was a bit of a surprise. Since Marie has had such a gap between her older children and Neil- it’s like having her first baby again. The child boss’s her around; he is the little Napoleon, telling her where to sit and what to do for him. She is a dotting mum and she adores that little boy.

Marie in her own right is a character! She is like a sponge with everything going on around her. She’s amazing! You can read it in her eyes- even if
Geralyn hadn’t told me- I could see that she watched with a watchful eye and took it all in. Nothing gets past Marie. And she has a million questions! All that I completely enjoyed answering, I’m quite a detail kind of person myself – so it was fun. I knew that she didn’t get answers to a quarter of the questions that were bouncing around in her head and I knew that we would certainly find time to get together. But one of the funniest things that Marie has a fetish for is Football – Mayo Football to be exact! Everyone in this little town seems to live for football! But it’s not American football; it’s more brutal because they don’t wear padding! They look like soccer players to me but they run with a football…I don’t get it yet, but when I do, I’ll explain it better. But Marie is a freak for it! She yells, claps, hoots and hollers and SWEARS! She is so funny to watch! She can still listen to everything around her as she jumps and carries on!

Football is broken down into counties. Mayo is the county we are in and they were playing against Kerry County. Marie’s husband (P.J. (Patrick Joseph) and son’s Deckon and Donnell (sp?) went down to the Kerry game and where making quite a event of it. Marie stayed home with Neil and came to visit us.

Next to come in was Annie Callaghan O’Donnell- the most wonderful little Irish lady in the world! She is just beautiful and funny and sweet and just so SHARP! She is the eldest of this clan and I just fell in love with her the moment I met her! She’s the grandmother that everyone would want! She is so interested in the family in America and she can tell a joke, pulls your leg and give you a lecture (on the dangers of poker!) all in one minute and throw her hands up over her mouth trying to stop the laughter! I just wanted to put my hands on her face and never let her go!

She was so tickled when she read the letters that she wrote so many years ago to her first cousin, Mary Middleton (my grandmother). She was amazed that anyone would keep her letters! She read every one of them and loved the photos’ that I had scanned into my computer. She is a joy and so lovely! I told her that I was going to take so many photos of her that she would feel like a model! I also want to draw her to capture her essence! I intend on visiting her often! Her niece Geralyn said that she is a true little Irish woman that lives in a little Irish cottage! And boy was she right! She is the essence of Ireland! She also lost her husband 5 years ago.

Annie’s son Sean (Shawn) brought her over and you could see the family resemblance of Annie, Sean, Marie and Neil – they have wider faces with deeply set eyes that are far apart. Very different from Teresa’s family with their far skin with dark hair (at least most of them) with very sharp features.

Geralyn had to run off to Westport again for something (she is a typical mum with the driving kids back and forth from places) and she came back with her husband Dermot Ruddy. Dermot is from a family of 12 children and his mother is a Mac Bride! Apparently Westport is where the Mac Brides are originally from in Ireland! (Many Mac Brides dropped the “a” for different reasons) So he thinks that we can find my fathers family in these parts! Wouldn’t that be wild if I was Westport blood on 2 sides?) There is even a statue in the Mall (long waterway) in Westport of Major John Mac Bride. He was Vice Commander-of the Irish Republican Army. Who died for Ireland on May 5th, 1916.

Dermot is a very tall man with a very long face. He has very strong features also. He has a very thick accent and is the one I had the most difficulty to understand. He is so nice and was gracious enough to go home (through the hedge) to get his family photos. His father was the highest paid man in Westport, he was the Fire Chief and he did a lot to make this town what it was. But his dad believed that “Life was worth living, no owning” so he never purchased a home, so when he died, there was only small items to split up between the 12 children. Dermot said that it saved a lot of fighting! Dermot got the photos that his dad dearly collected and he said it was in the thousands! With 12 children, I’m not surprised! His dad had also taken the time to make a calendar of such of all the children names and birth dates. Dermot said there was just too much to keep in your mind! And that list was given to me to add to the family history! I was thrilled!

Remember I mentioned that Teresa was quite the chain puller? Well, she loves to pull Dermot’s chain with sports- she acts like she is rooting for the Kerry league and not the Mayo league and Dermot falls for it every time! She’s funny and they all do it with such love!

Teresa’s son, Sean arrived in the mist of all this and he had with him his 2-½ year old son, Steven. What a pistol Steven is. Apparently he is just talking and everyone is so excited because Stevens’s older brother didn’t talk until he was 6 years old! And Steven was not looking to be pushing the talking thing either, but he has now blossomed and everyone is so happy! But he was having none of a good time with his little cousin Neil! He and Neil were not in very sharing moods and they butted heads a few times. It’s fun to watch them – knowing that they will be the best of friends in a few years and will never know the torment they caused each other when they were little!

Sean looks very different from the other siblings. He is fair skinned with a red base to it and has red hair. He is good looking and is well built. He is a builder and works for his brother Liam. Their father was also a builder, so it’s true the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Sean is a quite kind of fellow, and talks softly. Sean was installing a pergo (wood flooring system) in his mother’s sitting room. And a few months ago, he did her bathroom. (I’m not sure if he did it alone- I don’t want to slight anyone.) Teresa says that he is a real hard worker and he’s a perfectionist (per his sister in law, Mary)

And last but certainly not least is Laura. She is the teenage daughter to Geralyn and Dermot. She is just grand! She came into the little kitchen and came right to me into my arms. She made me feel so welcomed. She said that she heard so much about me and was so excited to meet me! She is a beauty with her long dark hair and the most wonderful smile on her face. She is still in high school and very involved with EVERYTHING. She takes piano, Irish dance (lot and awards), theater; she works at the Save-More (grocery store) and baby-sits. She is so alive and the most important thing to me was she LOVES Westport! She feels that she lives in the best place in the world! She was excited to learn that I was planning on living here long term and she said that we have to get together soon. She had to fly off to baby-sit. She was one amazing young woman!

Well, that’s the low down on my new family. I ended up putting it in one LONG blog. But it gives you a view of my first meeting with them. To tell you the truth – even if I could pick the family that I wanted to find when I came to Westport – I wouldn’t of picked any family that was better. The are loving, accepting and welcoming to me. I LOVE THIS NEW FAMILY.

Teresa said something to me the first day that we met face to face. She said you have to take us as we are. And I immediately said – I would have it no other way! AND AFTER MEETING THEM – I REALLY WOULDN’T.

Cheers~
Kym

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