How to Get Out of Southern Patagonia (inc Film 2006)
1. Go to airline office to be told they’ve all gone bust and the one remaining one has no seats til Xmas.
2. Go to tourist info at El Calafate bus station to be told you can get a through-ticket from the agency around the corner.
3. Go to agency to be see it is closed from 2-5. Note time is 2.15.
4. Return at 5 to get very helpful details on tickets. Agree to buy. Get told they don’t actually sell the tickets. You need to go to that office over there (which didn’t shut for siesta), where you can take a ticket for one sixth of the journey. After that it’s pot luck.
5. Go to office. Mad scramble. Get told customers get service first. Aren’t I a customer? 40 minute wait for a one minute transaction while computer operator emails his mates.
6. Next day get on packed bus for four and a half hours and watch Troy. A torso-fest where I couldn’t wait for Brad Pitt’s death.
7. Get to Rio Gallegos and retrieve bags. Struggle to next company`s office where there is another scramble. Tickets for tonight to Trelew? No. Full. Go for a coffee. No cafe on this estacion, matey. But there is one across that motorway in that petrol station.
8. Return after a think and agree to get tomorrow’s bus – best seat please. OK, we have these, but why don’t you go today? What a good idea, I think I will. Spanglish breaks down.
9. Get 17 hour bus to Trelew and watch The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe. Sub-standard, post LOTR tosh with the same battle scene as Troy. Then half watch the remake of The Fog. Why make it? The first one was bad enough.
10. Arrive in Trelew and find the hotel can`t book me in for two hours. Have a coffee and meet Matt! Good, I’m off to Puerto Madryn with you.
11. Arrive in Rhyl, sorry Puerto Madryn, and bump into Andrew. Who flew, in 90 minutes, from El Calafate to PM on a half empty plane for 20 quid more than my 23 hour journey. Grrr.
12. Dream of the possibility of seeing orcas eat baby seals. Off to see if it can be done.
Today’s song can only be National Express, the Divine Comedy. Although to be fair, the steward’s arse was not the size of a small country.
Tags: Travel
JohnnyBoy
February 16th, 2006 at 12:11 pm
Still, could be worse, you might have had to wait for the D6
February 16th, 2006 at 12:13 pm
In fact – I bet you never complain about the D6 again (at least not until you have been back in England for a month)
February 16th, 2006 at 12:35 pm
So, if you’re in Rhyl now does that mean you will be in Queensferry by tomorrow? I can probably pop over and give you a lift home. Don’t want any unnecesary battles with the transport system. Crosville actually run a bus service every other Tuesday from Rhyl to the East end. Do you still have your half priced bus pass?
February 16th, 2006 at 1:00 pm
Re: TROY: I hope you stayed awake for the part where Brad is CLEARLY about to drop his teeny tiny towel and the Director cuts away! Best 30 seconds of a 3 hr movie and in Liverpool, the entire audience first held its breath (not much testosterone in that particular auditorium) & then, as one, BOOED the Director.
Also should point out: Given that Matt & Andrew were unable to find the town square in Puerto Natales (in a 10 block town) or the prison in Ushuaia (on the SAME street as their hostel), I´d just double check the guide book to make sure you are actually IN Puerto Madryn…
Hope you bump into Beryl Jones. Play nicely with the boys and have fun 🙂
Cath x
February 16th, 2006 at 4:20 pm
I shouldn’t laugh but these last 12 comments read like a Carry On Comedy. Just think of all the money youwill make when giving after dinner speeches! You’ve certainly brightened up my evenings! By the way your old Aunty Mary and Uncle Tom have been married 40 years this weekand it don’t seem a day too long-Believe that and you’ll believe anything
February 16th, 2006 at 6:20 pm
Cath. I cheered when at last the bloody arrow landed in his bloody heel. Will try my best with ‘the boys’…
Aunty Mary and Uncle Tommy – congratulations and well done. Is anything special happening for the do? Has everyone just decided to celebrate everything while I’m away? Poor timing, I suppose.
Elaine, do you really think the D6 will get off that easily?
Mike, I’m under pressure to get off the computer. Will reply when I’ve returned from seeing nature in all it’s gory glory…
February 16th, 2006 at 9:00 pm
Sorry but I really had a good laugh at your troubles….actually I hope your humour is saving you from combustion….Didn’t see Troy as I’ve seen “All Greek Mythology According to Hollywood” countless times so had no more historical/hysterical interest haha…funny you mention Orca’s and baby seals as I was discussing Surfing in Tofino with my brother yesterday and he thought perhaps we’d wind up spinning like a football between two playful Orca’s there…I’m still bent on going….ta ta….Rita in cold but finally sunny Kelowna
February 17th, 2006 at 8:26 am
C’mon Elaine, Friday night on the D6 is a far greater nightmare than the one that Martin’s had!
Martin, sorry to hear that you’re having a bad time of late but at least you have your health!
February 17th, 2006 at 8:45 am
Greetings Amigo(sorry so belated). Had some trouble accessing your site. I’m now up to date. I may never watch Eastenders again. I see your next career move as insurance. You’re already half way to rewriting the nonsense that passes for policy cover. Sorry your having such bad luck with the trip of a lifetime. Thoroughly loving your accounts of the days. It saves me at my advanced age having to ever think about going to such far flung locations.
Needless to say your absence in these parts is a major daily irritant.
Stay safe.
February 17th, 2006 at 10:35 am
Hi John
Look mate it could be whole lot worse. You could be trying to get out of Anfield Road at 2.30ish tomorrow with a load of phlegm garglers brandishing Stanley knives blocking the way! 23 hours on a ‘bus? Piece of pish!
Good luck and fingers crossed for tomorrow!!
February 19th, 2006 at 1:11 am
Who/what the “D6”?
February 19th, 2006 at 2:08 am
Just got in at 3am and someone has left the computer on. We all promised ourselves we would be home for 1am. Made proper South America tonight, because I ordered my meal after midnight and thought nothing of it.
Mr Kenny. Finally! So good to hear from you. Your words, as ever, are exactly right. Trust the family is as it should be…
SN! About time too. Lovely.
Gillian. The D6 is is a bus (I know they don’t exist in America) of many and varied tortures. However, as you’ve stayed in my flat, you should know that the route passed outside of the door. Character building stuff.
Rita, so nice as usual – do you ever see that lot up on the hill?
February 19th, 2006 at 2:35 pm
Have Wrexham considered calling themselves “the Orcas”? They could go to Chester games and chant about having seals for dinner… What do you reckon, Mike?