i think thats probably a question most everybody asks themselves, albeit in different ways. i just got to university; all the people here are trying to find ways of finding what defines them, what they go "smack back to". I've come to believe that to try to define yourself is an illusion. its like trying to measure all the free energy in the universe- by measuring it you are actually changing it.

Do things that make you happy, and you will be more open to loving, whatever that happens to be, wherever you happen to be. no two people treat love the same way but as i have found from many of the people that i love, both family and friends, love is not as elusive as it is made out to be.

Holy Scorpion!

Billie Holiday as a life model? Perhaps not:
"At the same time her career was taking off, Holiday's private life was deteriorating. She started using hard drugs in the early 1940s and was jailed on drug charges in 1947 after a highly publicized trial. She compulsively attached herself to men who mistreated her, and she began drinking heavily. Her health suffered; she lost most of her by then substantial earnings, and her voice coarsened through age and mistreatment. Although she continued to sing and record, and to tour frequently until the mid-1950s, it was no longer with her former spirit and skill. " She died of an overdose at 44.

Try Nelson Mandela:
"Nelson Mandela's greatest pleasure, his most private moment, is watching the sun set with the music of Handel or Tchaikovsky playing."