Merry Christmas Eve to ME!!
I am spending Christmas Eve alone in front of my computer with leftover pepperoni pizza from Outback and a selection of donated MP3s. Right now I’m listening to Madame George by Van Morrison. It may not have been originally intended for Christmas but it certainly does capture the true spirit of the holiday, doesn’t it?
So why is a lovely young woman with a stack of party invites spending Christmas Eve on her own? Well, I gave some thought to the meaning of the Christmas holiday and decided that it is a time to be spent together with the people who are most important to you in the world, whether that’s your partner, your family, or your Jew friends with whom you share Chinese food and too much whiskey.
Then I had to admit – for the millionth time recently – that the only person I have in the world is me. I am the person I go to sleep with every night and I am the person I wake up with every morning. I know all my secrets. I get all my jokes. I’m never too busy to listen to me. And I have never once turned my back and left when I cried.
I just came through seven very long years of wishing that I were not alone all the fucking time. All I got out of it was an embarrassingly vast collection of ultra-short-term relationships and seven years older. It was one big, dumb waste of time because the truth is while I was running around trying to find a partner, I was missing the simple fact that the role was already filled – I am the person with whom I will spend the rest of my life.
I guess that also makes me the person who is most important to me in the world. So Merry Christmas Eve to me! I’ll think I’ll try to get fresh with myself now.
Tags: Nong Khai, Thailand
sandra_101
I am a BIG believer that relationships (life experiences), no matter how shitty they are, are never a waste of time. All those relationship taught us something invaluable. Some people learn it a lot slower than others. Case in point, when a guy doesn’t call you for a month, chances are, he is just not that into me. F*cker.