Christina in China

Yup, that’s right. No guilt about not blogging. I do, however, have some guilt about not emailing/writing more often. Maybe there will be letters written during my time in Yibin. Does this mean that I’m depraved and past the point of conviction? Maybe. Hugh said the other day that he had two months left in China, which means that I have about three.

I’ve been proctoring exams with Mrs. Lai, who’s taken every opportunity to teach me Chinese, asking me to describe students’ pencil cases, telling me about the college entrance exams here (which are big-time, that’s another post). As we walk back, I carry the umbrella to keep our faces from getting tanned (ah, China), and she links her arm with mine. I feel a sense of importance, walking with Lai Laoshi, who is a venerated presence around here. But the reason I admire her is because she treats everyone with this same sense of importance.

Amidst all this, the travel plans have been formed for my May holiday (a 7 1/2 day vacation we have). I’m going to the Bamboo Sea in Yibin, now not only with Joan but also with a girl named Alisa, who I barely know and who’s been calling me every day wanting to tell me new details about travel arrangements. She seems very nervous. The other day, Petrel found me and said that she wants to come, too, that she has enough money. At first I was taken aback, but then I thought this was a good idea. Petrel is usually anything but nervous with me and is this gloriously rare source of randomness. (“Do heaven and hell have ice?” she asked me yesterday during Sleepless in Seattle. “I don’t know,” I told her. “Probably not.”) But Petrel says she’s afraid of calling these girls and had been putting it off because she thinks they’ll say no. Meanwhile, I’m getting nagged by Yibin students about buying tickets.

The weather’s officially short-sleeved weather, with blue skies most every day. I shaved my legs and am wearing a skirt. It makes me feel pretty and feminine, even though I’m constantly being told to fold it up so that it won’t drag on the ground (by my auntie).

I just read an article on Yahoo news about how gas is now up to $2.93 in most cities in the U.S. (average price). Um, is it possible to express how much I don’t want to deal with the hassle of a car again? I swear, I’m buying a bike and taking buses or something when I get back. I hate the fact that I’m going to be chained to an expensive machine that always breaks and costs lots of money to maintain and keep up, etc. Not to mention stinking $3 for gas. I should be grateful. My students all dream of having cars, but I just don’t like it, except for convenience. “The car is an isolating capsule,” I read the other day in an article that I agree with.

I’ve decided that in a year, I am no expert on China. I don’t pretend to be, just like I’m not an expert on anything. But when I get home, I have to tell people something. I have to write something. So I am going to write stories, stories about the people here, about my impressions of them. Hopefully to be accompanied by pictures. That’s all I can pretend to know, I think, even a part of.

To risk sounding like a feeling-sorry-for-myself whiner, today was a crappy day.  Crappy in that my not-knowing-what-to-say-in-Chinese-ness feels like it’s out in full force this week.  Crappy in that I got a bunch of the, “Ta ting bu dong!” (“She doesn’t understand!”) sentences said about me.  Crappy in that Lai Laoshi was teaching me very easy sentences that I learned in the first two months here…and also the Chinese grammar terms used to describe said sentences.  Crappy in that the activities I tried to make interesting for my students had them screaming, shrieking, and hitting each other.  And when I finally raised my voice and said, “Be quiet–this is class,” one girl just laughed at me.  When the bell rang, one of the students that’s the most motivated in the class, rolled her eyes, and said, “Oh, what a pity.”  Ah, hurt pride.  They all have this look of resentment that they have to take this class in their eyes. 

So, what did I do?  I cried.  And ate some peanut butter.  And wrote in my journal.  And asked myself if anyone wanted me here.  (This is not a plea for pity or reassurance, by the way.)

And then I went looking for Petrel (I know she gets out of class at 3:10), and we went for a two-hour walk-and-talk, past Lijiao Qiao and the train station, to parts of Zhong Ba that I’d never been to before.  She said she’d been sad, and I said that I’d been sad, and we both explained.  When I saw a student that is inviting me to her house, and she said that she should call the bus driver because he didn’t speak English and I didn’t speak Chinese, I just sighed.

Petrel, love her soul, said, “I think that you and Eunice are independent, and you can speak Chinese and do things yourselves.  You came from the United States to China, so I think that you can buy things from the store.”  I wanted to hug her.

I gave her two chocolate truffle eggs: one for her and one for Future, and I was informed that Future was planning a surprise for me.  At least I don’t know what kind of surprise.

And at the end of the walk, she said, “Hao le ma?”  (Are you better?)  And I said, “Hao le.” 

I’m better.

To risk sounding like a feeling-sorry-for-myself whiner, today was a crappy day.  Crappy in that my not-knowing-what-to-say-in-Chinese-ness feels like it's out in full force this week.  Crappy in that I got a bunch of the, "Ta ting bu dong!" ("She ... [Continue reading this entry]

This is a quote I got from another blog--the blog of a SALTer in Egypt.  She was writing about a party she was at with a lot of Egyptian Muslim men, breaking down stereotypes, the fact that we get our ... [Continue reading this entry]

I told somebody in my host family community the other day that I was here to learn about their culture, and they laughed and said they didn't have any culture.  Translation: Culture equals education, learning, knowing to read well, knowledge ... [Continue reading this entry]

This weekend, Julie, a friend from Chongqing and CEE pastoral care person came to visit. I'm sure it was memorable for her because she got to have rice porridge at my host family's house this morning and take pictures ... [Continue reading this entry]