just another American teacher in SK

When I left Minnesota, it was around 30 degrees and snowing. When we arrived in Incheon, it was 27 degrees and snowing. Didn’t I mention that the weather is very similar? It’s like I never left home … well, not quite.

Any 12.5 hour flight is long – the flight from San Francisco to Incheon was REALLY long, due to the absence of electrical outlets, remarkably bad entertainment (seriously, the best option was watching the flight map), and a severe shortage of alcohol.  I had no options but to sleep ~ not such a bad thing.

We arrived ICN at 7pm, took a bus to Dankook University a few hours later, arrived shortly after 11. We checked into our dorm rooms around midnight, and it was “lights out” at 2.  The entire process was reminiscent of “move-in ” day as a college freshman – organized chaos.

The majority of the people are in the 20s, but there are also quite a few older teachers.  Most are from the US, the rest are from Canada, UK, Australia, New Zealand, and South Africa.   There is some comfort in realizing that, in a group of nearly 500, I will not be the  ~est  anything remarkable.   I’m not the oldest, youngest, fattest, shortest, loudest, freakiest …     there are lots of piercings, lots of tatts, some crazy hair-dos and facial fuzz, and an amazing number of big butts.

🙂

It is a beautiful day ~ the sun is shining, there are about 2 inches of fresh snow, and the temp is a crisp 32 degrees F.

First thing on the agenda this morning was the medical exam (routine physical + xrays).  Not the most delightful way to begin the first day, but no big deal.  The highlights were the dude who passed out after his blood test and the girl who screamed when she experienced her first encounter with the squat toilet.

We had to fast prior the med exam and all of us were really looking forward to our first post-fast meal in the cafeteria.  There was one lunch selection that looked like kimchi, smelled like kimchi, but definitely was NOT – it was squid.  Another dish that I thought was a potato was actually radish.  Hmm.  Perhaps I should have studied up on the Korean cuisine prior to this little trip …

We spent the afternoon wandering around the campus and surrounds.  The campus is very modern, so there are few architectural wonders in the immediate area – a few statues, a small lake, manicured shrubbery, but no traditional structures.

Tonight we have the Opening Ceremony, followed by the Welcome Banquet.  Everyone is a bit jet-lagged, so I suspect it will be an early and quiet night.

Today we went on a field trip to the Korean Folk Village in Yong-in City.  The Village is about 250 acres of traditional houses from different regions, various artisans (potters, weavers, blacksmiths, etc)  and a market/bazaar.  We spent all day walking around and watching performances of music and dance, acrobatics, and equestrian feats.  Quite something.

Tonight we are going downtown for some nightlife action.  Karaoke is very popular here – we may discover that we have a talented collection of human songbirds in our midst.

It was very exciting to get my hands on a paper copy of the Korean Herald  ~ until I read the headlines: ‘NK may test-fire missile within days’.   Fantastic.

In recent weeks, Pyongyang has declared it will scrap peace agreements with Seoul and warned of war on the Korean peninsula.  However, the SKs here don’t seem to be concerned and assure us that we should not worry.  Regardless, I am registering with the US Embassy as soon as I get my home address.

After a few days, you sorta get used to the  kimchi  three times a day, soups made up of combinations of noodles and mysterious floating things, and the neon-colored raw vegetables, but the lunch feature today was simply not an option.  I do not know what the hell it was and I was just not in the mood to find out.

Rumor has it that we have already lost a few comrades – 2 failed drug tests, 2 caught smoking pot on campus, and a couple having sex in an elevator (well, the sex scandal has not been confirmed …)

How do you explain to your friends and family?  “Um, well, you see ~ there was this elevator …  it was dark and quiet …  I just couldn’t control myself ….”  or “Well, I am coming home 359 days earlier than expected because I’ve been deported.”   Very impressive.

Wow ~ I have some serious catching up to do!  It’s Wednesday already, we’ve been here for 6 days and I haven’t had any spare time to blog.  Tragic.

We have had full schedules every day from 730a – 1030p, and the next few days will continue to be very hectic, but I will make some edits and fill in some of the blanks as I can.  You may want to review the earlier posts to see if you missed anything.   😉

I have a meeting with the supervisor of the POE (school district) tomorrow afternoon and I will (finally) get the details of my school placement and hopefully the address of my apartment.  We depart for our placements Friday morning (hurray!)

The focus today was presentations, essentially a “peer review” , to prove to each other that we are ready to teach.  Let’s assume that everyone passed with flying colors …

We met with our POE supervisors this afternoon.  I will be teaching at Ganghwa Middle School ~ all boys, ages 12-15.  That’s about all I know until we get there. 

Urgh ~ it’s been a long day of mandatory activities, from 730a – 8p.  The options for the evening are to be responsible and do laundry and pack, OR say “screw it” and go downtown.  Can you guess what 99% of the GETs are doing?  Count me in …

It has been an extraordinarily long day … but we are finally “home”. 

We started loading luggage at 730a.  Most of us were involved in “evening services” last night and feeling a bit crunchy this morning, but somehow everyone managed to clear out of the dorms by 10, just in time for the Closing Ceremony (more cultural experience performances, presentations, star awards, blah, blah, blah)  and the final goodbye to roomies and new friends.  Lots of tears and exchange of info …  ok, enough.  Go away, it will give me a chance to miss you.

The first stop was the Incheon Metro City office of Education, where we met our co-teachers and reviewed paperwork.  Next, we drove to our schools to meet the Principal and Vice Principal.  Finally, we went to our apartments. 

There are four of us placed in Ganghwa ~ a married couple from New Zealand South Africa (correction), Tim from Canada, and me.  We are all in different schools, but Tim and I are living in the same apartment building.  Trevor and Nicollete are living somewhere across town, but we already ran into them at the market, so I suspect we will see each other occasionally. 

We won’t have internet access in our apartments for a week or so, but we found a PC bang (game room) in our neighborhood, which is where we are right now. 

Ganghwa is not particularly easy to get to or get around.  By car it takes about an hour to travel from the Seoul area, but it took us about 3 hours by bus to get to the Incheon airport today (2 hours from Ganghwa to the Incheon Bus Terminal and an additional hour to the airport).  I don’t think I will be making that trip too often.  It is a miracle we could even figure out how to get from point A to point B ~ all the timetables and signs are in Korean, of course, and no one speaks English (not even the tourist information person). 

The bus drivers are on a precise time schedule and they get very, very crabby if you delay their assigned route. 

The simplest tasks are frustrating and take forever to accomplish.  For example, Little Miss So Full of Herself decided to do some laundry last night ~ I sat on the floor for about an hour, with a beer in one hand and the freakin’ Korean user manual in the other, watching my dirty, dry laundry tumble around in the washing machine ~ no water, no washing going on, just tumbling.  I guess I will have to take a picture of the control panel and ask my co-teacher to explain it to me.  Maybe she can show me how to use my stupid Korean cell phone too.

Since I couldn’t do laundry, I decided to tackle the reorganization of my spacious apartment.  Just for shits and giggles, imagine a 12×12 room.  Contained in that space is a double bed, a full-size futon sofa, a dresser, a bookcase, an armoire, a dining room table and 4 chairs, a compact refrigerator, a 3×6 kitchenette, a bakers rack, a coat rack, and another storage cupboard.  Plus 2 large suitcases.  Oh, and an enormous drying rack, 3 lamps, and an ironing board.  After a few hours, I have managed to clear a few square feet of living space and I feel much less cramped.  It could be worse ~ Tim’s apartment is larger, empty except for a double bed, 2 full-size refrigerators, and a vacuum cleaner (the floors are linoleum).  I guess it made sense to somebody …

And another thing ~ something smells like poop.  Seriously, something in or near my balcony space is producing a truly unpleasant odor.  Tim had suggested that someone in the neighborhood is spreading animal fertilizer on their cabbage garden in preparation for spring planting; however, I think he is just making that up so I will quit talking about it. 

Today was the first day of school.  No one told me that I was expected to address the students at Opening Ceremony!  I managed to squeak out a few sentences in Korean, a few sentences in English, and then to wave like a parade queen to the gathering of about 800 adolescent boys.   Not a brilliant performance, I’m afraid.  Quite intimidating, actually.

I spent most of the day “prepping” ~ lesson plans, introductions, more paperwork and Q&A.  I will actually start teaching tomorrow (5 sessions).  It’s my undestanding that the average class size is 40, the grade/age is Class 1/age 14, Class 2/15, Class 3/16, all boys.  And they are reportedly a mischevious bunch.  One of my co-teachers is prepared with a baton to discipline the unruly ones and  a portable microphone (so the students will listen to her).

This evening we had  a welcome dinner for all the new teachers.  It was a fantastic celebration.  We went to a traditional (sit-on-the-floor) seafood restaurant where they were literally bringing sea creatures from the boat to the table.  Most of it was raw (obviously), but a few things were tossed into pots of boiling water or added to stew.  I tried almost everything, with two exceptions ~ the fish stew (which looked a lot like hairbrushes floating in tomato soup) and the octopus. 
The octopus really creeped me out – the servers bring the live octopus to the table, chop it up with an enormous cleaver, throw it in a bowl, and …  that’s it.  Eager diners picked out chunks and chowed down, but I couldn’t participate.  Something about the tentacles flapping about and the suction cups glomming onto everything … blecch.  I was particularly fascinated by the progress of one particularly determined tentacle that flopped its way over the edge of the bowl, slithered across the table towards me, and finally flopped over the table edge to the floor.  

I’d noticed that the men were consuming remarkable quantities of alcohol ~ at this point I desperately wanted an intoxicative beverage, but all the women were drinking only tea and water.  Then the Principal, accompanied by his associates, sat down across from me with a bottle of soju and invited me to drink.  Mindful of Korean custom, I alllowed him to pour a glass and followed his lead by swallowing the equivalent of Everclear in a toast to “the success of English teachers in Korea”.  The  sensation was comparable to having a fiery sword thrust down my throat, but I suggested it was delicious and immediately sought an exit from the premises.  Thankfully, Ct2 was preparing for departure, relieving me from further consumption of drink and eats. 

So fashion can fly out! 

Yesterday I learned all about “indoor shoes” at school.  Koreans always take off their shoes when they enter a home or a traditional resturant.  We are also required to remove our shoes at the entrance of the school and change into “indoor shoes” (slippers). It’s quite a nice look when you are wearing a suit.  I am no longer too concerned about the fashions.

It was snowing and raining this morning when my co-teacher came to walk with me to school.  Because there are no street signs to follow and she was concerned I would get lost, we made the 30 minute trek together.  

When we got to the school, the boys were busy mopping the floors ~ I thought it was because some mud and snow had been tracked in, but that didn’t make sense with the “indoor shoe” rule.   During the lunch hour, the boys were again busy mopping the floors.  Everyone was wearing their winter jackets, because it was about 0 degrees in the building, because all the windows were open (perhaps to dry the wet floors?)   

At the end of the day, more mopping and general cleaning ~ and the windows were all still open when I left for the day.   

Hmmm … I just don’t know quite what to make of it. 

Why are the windows always open?  I think it is so fashion can fly out the window. 

 Tomorrow ~ many layers of warm clothes.  And some warm slippers.

Yikes ~ it sounds like something Sarah “I can see Russia from my doorstep” Palin would say, but I really CAN actually see NK from here!  Crazy!! 

Ganghwa Island is the fifth largest island in Korea is separated from the Korean mainland by a narrow channel, spanned by two bridges passable by cars.  North Korea is directly across the channel on the north coast of the island.  “The island” is actually composed of 11 inhabited islands and 17 uninhabited islands, and its beaches are 100 km long.   The population is approximately 65,000 and about half of the residents live in Ganghwa-eup (Ganghwa Town). 

There are currently 14 English teachers living in Ganghwa.  The teachers who have been here for a while get together for dinner every Wednesday, and Tim and I have been invited to join the group.  It will be nice just to meet some more people and have English conversation for a few hours ~ I’m really looking forward to it!

As the only GET (Guest English Teacher) and the only non-Korean in the school, it’s very natural that I get a lot of attention, from the students and the teaching staff.  But I didn’t anticipate special attention from the school lunch lady!  Every day, one lovely woman on the kitchen staff comes to greet me in the dining room and brings me special food ~ a bowl of soup, a slice of bread, a plate of fruit, a juice box …  When I asked my co-teacher to explain, she told me that the lunch lady thinks I don’t eat enough.  Trust me, while I may have lost a few pounds on the “South Korean Beach Diet”, I have no fear of blowing away in a strong gust of wind. 

Grocery shopping has been quite a challenge.  Fortunately, I have befriended an employee in the produce department who has guided me through the store, explaining what some things are, how to cook it (“no bakee”), and warn me about some things that may not appeal to the Western tastebuds.  Truth be told, I just don’t like the food very much, but I appreciate the warnings.

I live within a few blocks of Paris Baquette (similar to Au Bon Pain), where I can pick up fresh bread and spreads.  If I get really desperate, there is also a Lotteria (similar to a Hardees) on the main street.  There is a resturant down the block from my house with a sign “Mexican Chicken”  but I’m not sure if that is what they serve or just a clever name ~ it seems unlikely that we will find out.  There are a couple of “pizza” places, but we have to go to the place (impossible via phone) and be very specific with topping choices (i.e.  … and cheese, please ~ no drizzle of fish or barbeque sauce).

Let’s set the scene ~ it’s Friday, 7th period, Grade 2 (age 15) and the kids are bonzo-gonzo nuts, hanging out the window, swingin’ from the chandeliers … no co-teacher to be found, of course ….

In the eye of the storm sits a quiet little guy wearing a Green Bay Packer logo jacket!  He could barely contain his excitement when he learned that not only am I an American but a Packer fan ~ it just doesn’t get any better. 

You will all be relieved, I’m sure, to hear that the issues with the washing machine have been resolved. Water has now been connected, so the washing cycle performs as it should. The exciting discovery is that the unit also has a “dry” cycle. Well, it doesn’t actually DRY (like with hot air) ~ it just spins the clothes and they come out ALMOST dry, which cuts down on the time you have to have them laid out the gigantic drying rack (and where the hell am I supposed to position that thing?) Anyway, the laundry is now under control.

My next project is to figure out the small kitchen appliance that quite possibly will do everything but massage your feet or sing a song. It features a lovely variety of etchings on the glass door (a cow, a birthday cake complete with candles, and some vegetables), and I’m assuming you can use it to steam/bake/broil/toast ~ all sorts of magical things. The problem is that it has about 29 buttons and knobs (I figured out the timer – that one makes a ticking sound …) and an amazing assortment of trays and racks that are supposed to fit in there somehow. Maybe I should just stick with the pot on the hot plate method for now…  or break down and buy a microwave.

I still can’t figure out my Korean cell phone, but I have requested an English language manual from the phone company, so maybe I can learn how to communicate with that stupid thing at some point. 

Lord, just wait until I have to figure out the air conditioner ~

Yes, folks, that mysterious meat product from Austin, Minnesota appears on the grocery shelves in even the most remote regions of SK ~ SPAM, SPAM with bacon, SPAM with garlic, SPAM with god-knows-what …. small world, isn’t it?

There are a few other familiar products ~ Starbucks bottled coffee, Pantene shampoo, Heineken and Budweiser, Diet Coke (Coke Lite – close enough)  …   I am definitely looking forward to going into the “big city” so we can go to a Western-style food market and stock up on a few supplies.  I would like to find a “normal” bottle of salad dressing, like Ranch or Italian.  I would like to find some Campbell’s soup and a box of saltine crackers, a jar of spaghetti sauce, or maybe something really wacky like mayonnaise or refried beans.   Cheese is extraordinarily expensive here, and I suspect it is not quite the same as the Wisconsin products.  What I am really hankering for is a box of plain ol’ cereal ~ Cheerios or some bran flakes ~ any cereal that does not have weird nuts and fruits in it.   

In the meantime, my diet consists primarily of rice and over-cooked vegetables, toast and peanut butter, coffee and orange juice.  You’re right, Andree ~ the liquid diet may be the best option.

Here are a few photos (and a live action video clip) of my apartment.  Enjoy!

   the apt building       view from the balcony

  traditional Korean shower        the damn washer

  a glimpse at the initial mess

the video    

Thank you to everyone who picked up the call this evening/morning/afternoon ~ it is wonderful and comforting to hear familiar voices.

Bill, I love you 17.  Give a big hug to my sweet girl.  Mom, it was good to talk with you ~please let me know when you get a new mic.    Andree, always the best, pleased to hear everything is fine ~ Cheers!  Mark, yes, I do promise to behave myself and stay safe ~ enjoy your vacation in AZ.   Mike, good advice re: food that barks or pursues through the dining area.   Shan, thanks for listening ~ I love you too.  Claire, dear Claire ~ thanks for the suggestions re: blog content ~ I miss you gobs ~ good luck with the g-door.  Tanya, I look forward to meeting up in Seoul or Incheon ~ we can talk germs, garbage, and gawking.  DonnaD, I’m so jealous!  How did you get a 3bd/2bth on the coast when you specifically requested a remote placement?  Michael ~ you are in freakin’ paradise on Jeju Island ~ enough said. 

Let me know if you need my telephone number !!

I have established a local (Minnesota) telephone number that calls my computer so anyone in the TC can call me for free!  

Here’s how it works: As soon as I get my home internet connection established (hopefully within the week), you will be able to call me on my SKYPE # from ANY phone (YOU do not need to be on SKYPE)  and my notebook will ring, just like an normal telephone. 

In the meantime, when I call YOU it will show up as “(651) Lake City, Minnesota” number.   When you call me, it will be TC local call.   I will normally be in school from 7:30-5:30 Monday through Friday, but calls should go to a voicemail if I’m not available.  PLEASE remember the 15 hour time difference!

I look forward to talking with you again ~ please keep in touch!!

There is a video from our teachers orientation that is pretty cool.  Go to www.epik.go.kr , click on video clips, it’s the first one (dated 2009/03/03).

I will be posted photos as soon as I can figure out how ~ all the menus and everything are in Korean and no one can show me how to change it to English  …  sigh.  In the meantime, I hope you enjoy the video!

I’m going to dedicate this post to telling you about my school and a little bit about the Korean education system.

The Korean public education system is divided into three parts: six years of primary school, three years of middle school, and three years of high school.

I teach at the Ganghwa Boys Middle School.  I don’t know how many schools are in the Ganghwa area, but there are about 15 teachers at a variety of public schools and private hagwon.  (Simple math would suggest that maybe there are 15 schools, as there is one native speakers per school, but some teachers have multiple schools … like I said ~ I don’t know.)

The school is a 30-minute walk from my apartment, a route that takes me down series of winding, narrow streets and up a steep hill. The school is typical in appearance,  very large and completely void of ambience.  There is  a large open field (ours is covered with Astroturf) which serves as the athletic field and the general assembly area.  A second building houses the cafeteria and (what I assume is) the gymnasium or auditorium.

The middle school has about 800 students and about 35-40 teachers.  The teachers maintain cubes in a central area and move from room to room.  The students also move between classrooms and go ape-shit nuts for ten minutes between every class.

The school day begins at 8:00 AM.  There are four class sessions in the morning, a 60-minute break for lunch, three afternoon sessions, followed by “cleaning” time.   I have 21 classes (7 sections of each grade level, with an average of 40 students in each class), plus a “teacher training session”, and 1 hour each day of after-school activities (ASA).  The additional English conversation sessions begin at 4:30, so my day usually ends around 5:30.

The curriculum is standardized, as is the criteria for textbooks and instructional materials. The exception is the “Native English” class ~ the Korean English teachers use textbooks and follow a standard plan, but the only guideline for the foreign teachers is “teach English “.  

The school calendar has two semesters, the first running from March through July, and the second from September through February.  There are month-long breaks in August and January, but the  “optional”  10 days at the beginning and 10 days at the end of each break are attended by practically all the students, which reduces the “vacation” period to the remaining 10 days.  National holidays warrant a day off, but most of the holidays in 2009 fall on the weekend (just my luck)!

The hierarchy is Principal – Vice Principal – Head Teacher – Teacher.   I “report” to the Vice Principal, through a co-teacher who has been assigned to coordinate my activities. (more on co-teachers in a later post)  In my case, the VP was formerly an “English teacher”, so we can communicate on a very basic level, but my primary co-teacher attempts most of the translation.  There are also 3 other “English teachers” that I co-teach with (one for each grade level) ~ none of them are fluent in English language, but their role is to translate for the students in my classroom when they don’t understand what I’m saying.  It’s important to have an effective co-teacher in the classroom, but the “English only – no Korean” rule is tough to enforce when you have a Korean “English teacher” omnipresent to speak to the kids in Korean.

OK ~ I fear this post is getting a bit boring.  If you have any additional questions, please comment and I will address them in a later post.  

Thanks for checking in ~ I’ve got a crazy schedule this week, with social events and additional classes, but I will try to keep up!

I knew it would happen ~ I knew it would happen at some point ~ but I didn’t anticipate that a student would proclaim his love for me while I have having a conversation with the Principal of the school (a very gentle and quiet man) in the cafeteria.

Thankfully, he laughed and said “It is the way of the boys ~ you are very successful here.  That is good.  You may be pleased.”

Pleased?!  I was horrified!! (just wait until I get that little shit in my classroom …)

Teaching English in Korea is not an easy job.

You may be thinking “How hard can it possibly be?  If you speak English, you can teach English ~ right?”  WRONG ~ just because you speak a language does not mean that you have the ability to share that knowledge with others or are magically granted the skills to teach it in a classroom.  The assumption that any native speaker can teach  is the biggest flaw with the whole ESL in Korea system.

I’m not a rookie!  I’ve been teaching ESL for a two years, certified as an International TESOL teacher and an ESL tutor,  and have experience teaching in Asia.  Teaching in Korea has, thus far, been an incredibly difficult task.

I don’t know if my students are actually learning English. Most of the time they are bored, not listening, and have no interest in class participation.  99% of the students are rote learners, participants in a basic level of learning where the student has the ability to repeat back something”learned”, with no understanding or ability to apply what was learned.  I feel blessed to have 1% that actually give a shit ….

These kids learn English in public school, take extra lessons, and some of them also have private English lessons.  Can these kids read English? Yes.  Can they write in English? Yes, but they resist.  Can they speak in English? Most of the time they refuse to speak ~ if they do speak, the pronunciation is a challenge.   Can any of them string a sentence together?   For the majority of the students, the answer to that is a resounding NO!

My co-teachers have actually expressed praise for my attempts to focus on speaking in complete sentences.  (WHAT?!)   I have not had the opportunity to observe an ‘English Class’ taught by the Korean teachers, but I am curious what  they are teaching …

Living in Korea is a dramatic  lifestyle change ~ it’s impossible to be fully prepared for complete immersion in a world that is very different that what you’re used to.  I guess you learn to relax and “go with the flow” ~ Korean flexible.

I finally met up with a bunch of the other foreign teachers last evening for some billiards, beer, and pizza.  It was really nice to have English conversation for several hours, and it was great to hear the  stories of jet-lag impaired excursions, rural culture shock, assignments to multiple schools in far-away places.  It was a relief to express some of my frustrations with life on the island ~ and comforting to have a couple of the teachers assure me that I will eventually come to love it here, if I just give it a bit of time.

Foreign residents who come to Korea with a long term visa are required to obtain an Alien Registration card from the local Immigration Office within 90 days of arrival and carry it on their person at all times.  It is advisable that you get your ARC as soon as possible after you arrive, because you can’t do anything without it ~ you can’t open a bank account, obtain a cell phone, pay a bill, get internet in your home, leave and re-enter the country(!!) …  In other words, it really is a priority.

Because my co-teacher doesn’t drive and the other teachers are too busy, I had to venture to the Incheon Immigration Office by myself today.  I’ve described the previous ass-numbing trip into Incheon via bus from Ganghwa ~ 3 hours on the bus that rambles along over hill and dale.  In preparation for my big excursion, my co-teacher printed about 10 pages of maps and instructions (oh, god, is that really necessary?)  We scheduled a 4:50 PM appointment, assuming that if I left Ganghwa at noon, I would arrive in time.  Seriously, folks ….

Fortunately, one of the former foreign teachers was visiting this week and offered to show me the “fast way in.”  As Jim and I were leaving the bus terminal at 1:00 this afternoon he said, “It’s a bit convoluted, but trust me …”  and indeed he was right.  Take the express bus to Songjeong, get on the Seoul 5 to Gimpo airport, take AREX to Gyeoyang, transfer to the Incheon line, transfer to the Incheon 1 at Bupyeong, get off at Dongincheon, and hail a cab to the Immigration Office ~ I know that means nothing to anyone, but I find it amusing just to repeat the whole mess.  I arrived at my destination shortly after 3 PM, almost 2 hours earlier than if I had taken the dreadful bus.  Quite something, don’t you think?

I did have to wait in queue for about 20 minutes, along with a bunch of other foreign teachers, but the process only took about 5 minutes at the window.  In approximately 10 days I will be an official Alien Resident ~ wowee!  So, by the end of March, I should be able to access my bank account, (finally!) get internet in my apartment, and move freely through/in/out of Korea. 

I am currently sitting in a Dunkin’ Donuts (of all places) because I can access a wireless internet connection here while I wait for my friend Tanya to finish up with school.  We are planning to have dinner tonight and then navigate the subways into Seoul for some nightlife. 

Oh, my phone is ringing ~ gotta go!

Cheers!!

I read the English newspaper (Korean Herald) as frequently as I can, and try to catch up with the Pioneer Press and StarTribune, for local news ~ I just happened to read the following article in the Korea Times:

http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/nation/2009/03/117_41268.html

Seoul is an enormous city ~ statistics suggest it is the 8^th  largest city in the world, with a population of about 11 million (compared to US cities:  NYC 8 million, LA 4 million, Chicago 3 million, Minneapolis/StP 700,000 …)  You get the idea ~ it’s HUGE.  It is so vast in size that is takes a while to get to grips with it, I’ve studied the map and I  think it is pretty accessible via subway if you have some idea where you are going.

My “tried-and-true” method of exploring any new city is the “hop-on, hop-off” approach ~ take some sort of public transit (subway, train, bus, taxi, cable car, tuktuk … whatever is available) and just ride around.  Maps are helpful (but not always available) when you are looking for a particular destination, but sometimes it’s just more fun to “happen upon” something when you pop out of the depths of the subway terminal or catch sight of something from the bus window.  To be completely honest, the results of my approach to exploration  range from the absolute delight (Bangkok, NYC) to complete disaster (St Petersburg).  Anyway ~ let’s go Seoul!   

There are lots of “tourist” places to visit ~ palaces, parks, temples and shrines, and other National treasures ~ but that will just have to happen on another day.  The Seoul subway is clean and efficient ~ all the signs and announcements are in Korean, English, and Chinese; the entire system is color-coded by line; and every station has a number identification ~ so you can’t possibly get lost.  Right?  Well …  I don’t know exactly where the I have been, but I have been ALL over Seoul on the subway.  I’ve decided that the Seoul subway is an excellent mode of transportation, but not the best way to see the city.  Maybe next time I will start with a City Tour package, see the highlights, and go from there. 

It was near the end of the day and I was still a bit desperate to find other Westerners ~ Itaewon was my final destination.  Itaewon is the “international district”, the place where many foreigners congregate.  Due to the proximity to the U.S. military base, it is the most “Americanized” district in Korea, with large numbers of American servicemen mingling about with the highest concentration of non-Koreans and Koreans in the evenings and on the weekends.  English is spoken here (obviously) and there are many western-style venues to eat, drink, and be merry.  Without going into any details, I enjoyed an evening with folks of a common tongue, singing songs and consuming copious amounts of imported beverages ~ and I made it back to my hotel in Baegun, at a fairly respectable hour, safe and sound. 

Wow ~ I feel like I did so much, but I did so little …  the sights, the sounds, the smells ~ it’s just overwhelming and almost impossible to describe.  I have stories to tell, of course …  more later.

Woke up this morning, put on my slippers, turned on the tv …

I don’t have a tv in my apartment.  It just doesn’t make sense, because there are no television programs in English ~ not even news networks (no BBC, no CNN, nada).  You might be able to catch one show in English every twenty four hours (an ancient rerun of Law and Order) or, if you are really lucky, a movie along the lines of “Meet the Fockers” or “Home Alone” …  good stuff. 

However, I couldn’t resist watching a few minutes of programming on the GIGANTIC television in my hotel room.  There were about 30 channels, mostly what appeared to be sit-coms, soap operas, and “reality” tv (people getting arrested, that sort of thing).  After spending a considerable amount of time flipping through the selections, I landed on what appeared to be the Korean version of  “the Food Network”.  I watched with moderate interest while two ladies, who were clearly enjoying the demonstration of culinary excellence, rustled up some traditional Korean grub.  But, honestly, I threw up in my mouth just a little bit when they added a whole fish (head, tail, bones, fins, innards) to the pan …   dear god, there must be something else to watch …

Thankfully, there are just too many other things to do and not enough hours in the day.  I’ve got an agenda ~ it’s still early, and I’ll be out-and-about shortly ~ I’ll write all about my day when I get back.

Cheers!  N

It was a FANTASIC weekend ~ it was wonderful to get out of town and back to civilization.  I really need to get out more often.

On the way back to the island, I’m sitting there on the express bus leg of my journey, minding my own business, plugged in with my iPod ~ and I realize that the person across the aisle is staring at me.  Not just staring ~ STARING ~ as if they had just seen an alien from another planet sit down across from them.  Then, they whisper to the person sitting next to them, who joins in the stare-0-rama.  I guess I’m fortunate to be so freakin’ fascinating ~ I chose to just dial up the volume and ignore the whole situation.

Sometimes the attention is annoying, but sometimes it’s funny and weirdly sweet.  On Friday, as I was walking to the bus terminal, a little man comes bounding out of his store and hollers “Hello!  Welcome to Korea!!  Nice to see you!!  English?!  Have a nice ride!!” The same man, upon my return to Ganghwa, came out to greet me ~ “Hello English!!  Just come back Seoul?  Welcome to Korea!!”  So, I went into his little store and bought a soda ~ it’s the least I could do to acknowledge his exuberance. 

Ya’ just gotta love it …

This is a real question ~ “Has anyone figured out how the garbage works?”

We’ve been told that waste disposal and recycling are very important in Korea and that we should follow the guidelines carefully.  The majority of the waste is considered recyclable and must be divided into categories (paper, glass, cans, plastic, organic) and placed in appropriate collection bins.  Anything that is not recyclable goes into a standard white bag, which can be purchased at any market or convenience store.  Pretty straightforward.

Well, here’s the reality:  Garbage collection is not funded by taxes or fee collection ~ in order to have your garbage collected, you have to buy the surprisingly expensive garbage bags and the revenue from the bags is supposed to pay for the garbage collection service.  Unfortunately, dumpsters are nonexistent, as are recycling bins.  So, you buy the bags, stuff them to their absolute limit, and put them on the street corner in haphazard piles for pick up.  Once a pile develops, it’s an open invitation to just drop whatever unwrapped garbage you haveaccumulated on top of the existing pile, without bothering to buy one of those expensive bags.  Most of the “organic matter” is consumed by the thriving feral cat population, the rest of it sits on the street corners until collection day.  You can imagine the results.

Garbage collection consists of a person pulling a 6′ x 8′ flat bed cart.  They pull up to a pile, sort the recyclables into appropriate category containers, and then sweep the remaining debris into the gutter.  Then it’s on to the next corner, to manipulate another reeking pile of debris.  Large items (furniture, appliances, etc) remain on the corner to be picked up by someone else, sometime later.

I am not exaggerating ~ I have never seen anything like it.  Apparently it’s not just the remote areas that have this issue ~ a friend living in Incheon describes the city method of “waste management” to be very similar.  I just don’t get it ~ there is an obsession with “cleanliness” in every interior space (residences, office buildings, businesses, even public transit), but the public areas and the streets are filthy.  The air polution is remarkable.  If you have ever wondered about the photos of people wearing face/mouth masks ~ it’s common here.  I think I may invest in one ~ but only if it’s “hello kitty” … 

I was working on lesson plans this afternoon, actually searching for a word puzzle generator, when I happened up to the Fartmatic 5000.  (http://www.thepcmanwebsite.com/media/fart/) 

The cleaning crew (a small litter of 14-year-old boys) was in my office at the time and when they overheard the audio collection of obnoxious farting noises they when absolutely BANANAS!   They immediately stopped what they were doing to hang over my shoulder and howl with laughter at each fart. 

Hmmm … some days it really doesn’t take much ~ I only wish we could generate that much excitement for the classroom.

There are two “must carry” things here ~ tissue/toilet paper and hand disinfectant.  You never know when you are going to be in a squatter with no tp, and you don’t know where the other person’s hand has been, perhaps without a good “follow-up” washing. 

Hand washing and covering up when coughing or sneezing is not a normalized habit in the schools.  I hesitate each time a student offers a “high five” and definitely shudder when a student puts his hand to his mouth ~ eeeuuuhhhh!

Students do the vast majority of the cleaning in the schools we work in.  The students “clean” the building before classes begin in the morning and again at the end of the day.  Unfortunately, disinfectant and/or bleach are often not used and the students believe that splashing dirty water around with a mop and wiping surfaces with a dirty rag is “cleaning”.

When I arrive in the morning, the office (the entire building, actually) is wet ~ cold (because all the windows are open) and wet.  During the day, the heat is cranked up to a ridiculous level (all the windows are left open) and the surfaces are allowed to dry.  Then, at the end of the day, it’s “cleaning time” again, during which the students mop and wipe surfaces for an hour before they go home.

Oh, yeah ~ I forgot to mention that my office area is next door to the boys bathroom ~ and they use the same mop.  Enough said.

The key is Purell ~ I always carry plenty of Purell …

My schedule is always changing ~ I never really know where I am supposed to be or when.  Today, for example, we started classes early and shortened the period length to accomodate … something (?) and the day ended at 2:30, but nobody told me that I was free to leave until almost an hour later.  My schedule for next week has already changed twice in the past two days, and will likely change again.  I have no clue what is going on from day to day here ~ every announcement, every bulletin, every explanation is in Korean ~ I just show up at 8 every morning and follow the instructions of my co-teacher. 

 “Nacee ~ schedule changee ~ no warree!”  Worry?  I’m not worried, just slightly annoyed.

Some days I show up to an empty class room ~ a schedule change.  Some days I am escorted to a waiting vehicle to be transported to a luncheon or a group dinner ~ a last minute gathering for celebration.  Some days I’m escorted to mysterious rooms in the building, like the “ladies lounge” or the “English Club” for a meeting.  Twice now, I’ve even been escorted to the platform to speak to an assembly, with no advance warning, of course.  For god’s sake, with at least 5 “English” speakers on staff, don’t you think that someone could string a few words together and offer me a clue as to what the hell is going on?

It’s no less confusing outside of the school.  For the first couple weeks, I walked the same route to school for fear of getting lost.  Yesterday, I followed a group of students as they were leaving the grounds, who appeared to headed in the general direction of my home neighborhood.  Well, I arrived home in about half the time ~ why did my Cts route me around the entire perimeter of the city when there is a faster route? 

Why is sharing information so damn difficult?  urrgh … 

The relationship between the native English teacher and the co-teachers is a critical and delicate one.  The primary co-teacher is the person assigned responsiblity for coordinating the native teacher’s work at school each day and assisting with adjusting to life in Korea.  The classroom co-teachers are Korean English teachers responsible for monitoring the class, translating the lesson into Korean, and keeping the behavioral issues to a dull roar, in addition to their own full-time class load.

My primary co-teacher (Ct1) is a lovely woman, but she is driving me nuts.  We share a work space, and she hovers over me, reads everything on my desk, reads everything on my computer screen, listens to every conversation and phone call, types on my keyboard (while I am trying to work), spends every single moment with me from the time I enter the building in the morning to the last moments prior to afternoon departure.  She talks ALL the time (sort of a mix of Korean and English) and consistently asks me the same questions, several times a day, every day.  We understand maybe half of what the other is saying … 

Whenever my primary co-teacher is not able or available, the responsibility shifts to the “fall back” co-teacher (Ct2).  Unfortunately, there is no extra pay for the additional hours that the co-teacher(s) spend with the foreign teacher.  The Ct2 is a bit miffed that she has to spend her time helping Ct1 when she doesn’t understand my English and that she is the designated chauffer for any event or errand requiring motor transportation (Ct1 doesn’t drive), and I don’t blame her ~ but it’s not my issue! 

There have definitely been moments when we’ve been frustrated and irritated with each other, especially given the triangular relationship.  I thought we had come to a “meeting of the minds” last week ~ I had absolutely met my limits with the squabbling between the two of them, as well feeling completely suffocated with the attention dedicated not only to my work, but more importantly, the intense curiosity regarding my personal life. 

There is no sense of personal space here ~ everyone just gloms onto everyone else, physically and mentally.   One evening last week, the three of us were motoring along in Ct2’s car, and I’m going through the usual interrogation ~ “What do you do in the evening?” “Where did you go? What did you do?” “What time do you go to bed at night? And get up in the morning?” “What food do you have in your home?” “Let me review your utility bill.” “What is your religion?” “Are you ready to address the Principal in a Korean greeting?” “Do you have any problems in your apartment now?” “Are you spending time with the other foreign teachers? and what are their names, addresses, and blood types?” “How do they do ___ in America? How do they say ___ in American English?”  “When was the last time you talked to your family?”“Have you taken a solid crap since you’ve arrived in Korea?”…   JFC ~ give it a rest!!

The Q&A is a daily routine ~ I let it go on this time for about 10 minutes, and then I finally said, “OK, we need to talk about this.”  I tried to explain to Ct2, who is slightly better at English than Ct1 (but not fluent by any stretch of the imagination), that work is work, and my private time is private.  I asked that there be no more visits to my apartment, no more phone calls in the evening or on the weekend, no more trips to the grocery store together …  I asked the Ct2 to explain to Ct1 that I need some private time.  I don’t know what she actually said, but Ct1 was crushed.

It was a little better for a day or so ~ no phone calls at home (although she did send me an email), less hovering, fewer invasive personal questions … but it started all over again on Monday. 

I appreciate that she cares about me and is trying very hard to do a good job, but I am going to have a nervous breakdown if she doesn’t give me peace. 

We’re pretty bored here ~ so bored, in fact, that Tim and I have dedicated the day to “cleaning”.  Actually, it’s more a day dedicated to chemical analysis.

Neither Tim nor I have been able to figure out what any of the gels, liquids, powders, and crystals in the household maintenance aisle are meant to do.  If the illustrations on the label are meant to be the guide, your dishes will shine like the sun, your clothes will smell as fresh as a mountain breeze, and your toilet will sing with delight as a result of using the products.  My demands are not that extraordinary – I’m just looking for something that will disinfect the surfaces and clean the floor.

After wasting about an hour in the store, analyzing the labels and shaking the contents, we chose a few products to take home to experiment with.  Well, for me to experiment with ~ Tim is less concerned than I am about cootie remnants and dust bunnies …

Tim sat on the couch and watched me clean, offering a running commentary regarding the smell and effectiveness of each product.  We are fairly certain we’ve found something similar to Lysol or Mr Clean ~ “it has a fresh scent (!!) and it doesn’t appear to damage any surfaces”, so we will consider it to be the “all-purpose” cleaner.  We’ve also identified laundry detergent and a general purpose scouring powder (which may actually be toilet cleaner – close enough).  Wow ~what a huge relief … I’m certain to sleep much better tonight. 

Yup ~ that’s all it takes …

My Alien Registration Card arrived today.  Actually, I was more relieved to have my passport back than the receive the ARC, but now I will finally get internet (hopefully tomorrow, but I won’t hold my breath …), have access to my bank account, and move about freely.

Korean culture is very different than American (and probably, most “Western”) culture, and adjusting to a completely new way of life has left me a bit shocked and daunted at times.  Things that make perfect sense to me do not make any sense at all to the Koreans, and vice versa.  I have encountered this in all aspects of Korean culture, including the workplace.  I just have to accept the differences or go crazy.  It’s critical to have a sense of humor much of the time (or at least have some tolerance) to cope with these situations.  I am a guest in the country, so it is a waste of time to express what I think is rude or offensive, as that is not how they see it ~ and that’s where it ends.  It is probably wise to just ignore what I consider to be rudeness ~ I can’t change it.

Koreans are generally more private (well, less “open”) than Westerners, and they offer very little information or feedback ~ but there are no limits or boundaries to the information that they expect to receive in response to their inquiries!  Sometimes, I say “I don’t know,” but that will only result in the same question an hour later, as if I will know if asked again.  Sometimes I just have to say “I can’t answer your question” and that seems to settle it down a bit …

The exchange of information may be the most challenging dynamic in Korea.  Many of the communication problems stem from the fact that the language is not very precise ~ many things seem to be unsaid, but between the Koreans, they are understood ~ which leaves me wondering what the hell is going on.  Western ways of thinking when it comes to conducting business have not quite taken hold here.  In general, Koreans do not plan far in advance ~ everything seems to turn on last minute decisions and any changes take effect immediately.

There are challenges at work ~ the schedule, the Cts, the whole education system mess … I’m certain that I will be commenting in a later blog about the South Korean media coverage related to President Obama’s remarks on Korean education (“If they can do that in South Korea, we can do it right here in the United States of America.”). Headlines like “Obama Lauds Korea’s Education of Children” and “Obama Cites Korea for Educational Excellence.” spawned this whole distorted conclusion among people who haven’t read Obama’s full remarks, mistakenly thinking Obama has endorsed the Korean education system.  That conclusion is not quite accurate ~ more on that later …

Thankfully, as challenging as the system can be, I do love the boys.  Outside of class, they are wonderful, rambunctious, typical teenage boys ~ they like to chitter-chatter, as we are walking to school and when they are roaring around in the halls.  In the classroom, however, they are absolute teenage terrorists, enabled by the presence of a Korean co-teacher who generally fails to discipline and also translates everything (because it is just too difficult to understand English).  They definitely push the limits  …

Sigh …   Anyway, I’ve got at least one special boy in each and every class that brightens my day, so it’s worth it.  I’ve got the little “Packer man”, the “high five!” dude, the “give me a hug!” kid, the super-serious, super-smart, “I want to live in America” guy, the one who hangs out the window and shouts “Hello, Miss Nancy!  Miss Nancy!!” every morning as I arrive to school, the boys that continue to bow in respect as we pass in the hall …  I love them all!!  How can you not?  They are just kiddos …

I’m sitting here with the 2009 calendar on my lap, trying to make a 6-month plan for sanity control ~ if I get to Seoul once a month and venture off to a farther region once a month, I can probably keep my noodles in the bowl.  Day-to-day is getting a bit easier ~ I’ve figured out how to cook and clean and get to work.   The language barrier will remain, as I have absolutely no intention to learn Korean ~ the alphabet and basic survival phrases are all that I can manage at this point.

I FINALLY HAVE INTERNET CONNECTION IN MY HOME!! 

OMG ~ email, Google, PC television!!   I don’t care what it is, as long as it is in English. 

I can watch global television news (!!!!)  for the first time in weeks, live US television (Letterman! Jon Stewart!), International channels (Al-Zawraa!!  Bundesliga!!), and listen to hometown radio (FM107.1) ~ AND, of course, I can blog in the privacy of my own humble abode.  

I no longer have to write while I’m at work or haul my fat ass down to the PC Bang.  I don’t have to deal with the “hovercraft”(the people who love to listen to English and read what I’m typing).  I can have a private Skype conversation!  Having internet at home is so remarkably liberating.

re:  PHOTOS ~ I have been taking photos, but I haven’t posted them, because I wasn’t sure where they would end up ~ on the school network (heaven forbid), on YouTube, in orbit …. god only knows.  I’ll establish a web album ~ watch for it! 

re: home internet ~ “Basic installation” involved two days of maneuvering through the building cables, negotiating with my neighbors for access to the shared control panels, establishing a wired connection ~ the installation man was bummed out when he realized it must be in English.   Ct1 took time off from work to “help” (actually, she did ALL the work for me, so I should really just shut up …) and by the time I got home from school today, it was almost completed.  

BTW ~ I don’t want to hear any more complaints about “the cable guy” ever again ….  It’s 10pm ~ and I am connected.   Alleluhiah. 

Annyong-hi kashipshio!  (sorry!)  I won’t have time to blog tonight ~ I have to watch the news ……

I’m debating about going to work tomorrow ….  just kidding …

There are so many common mannerisms here that are just plain disturbing ~ spitting, staring,  slurping, scraping, screaming …  schlupping along in slippers.

How lazy are you if you cannot even pick up your feet when you are doing the most basic of human functions?  Is it really that difficult to completely pick up your feet?

The students wear slippers in school, so all day long you hear “schlupp-schlupp-schlupp” as they drag themselves through the halls.  Nothing, however, is more irritating than the thunderous “CLOMP-CLOMP-CLOMP” that Ct1 makes walking around in her freakin’ hard soled clogs.  Of course, there are advantages to hearing her coming from a mile away ~ I can pull a little “sliparoo” and avoid contact, if necessary …

When noise really gets on my nerves, I just put my headset on (pretend I’m talking on Skype), close my eyes, and dream of the day when people learn to pick up their feet when they walk.

TGIF?  Not so much …   My Friday schedule is a real bummer ~ I have classes back-to-back (with a break for lunch) from 840am-505pm.

I’m definitely looking forward to a gathering of the native English teachers ~ we are taking the 630 express bus to Seoul for a hooka exercise or pub-hopping …    It sounds like we are all completely burnt out and bored with life on the island.  Fortunately, we all got paid on Wednesday and are SKW multi-millionaires  …  could make for an interesting weekend.

I got my first “care package” from home ~ hurray!!  When it arrived in the administration office at school, the staff didn’t know quite what to make of it ~ it aroused quite a bit of curiosity among the teachers as well.  I’m certain they wanted me to open it so they could gaze upon the bounty of American wonders, but I took it home sealed ~ some things are just meant to be done in the privacy of one’s own home.

I’m overwhelmed ~ JiffyPop, granola, Dinty Moore, candy!!  FULL-SIZED towels (the towels here are the size of placemats)!!  Levis!!  oh, sweet jesus ~ is that REAL CHEESE?!  and hard salami  (I won’t even tell you what the ‘salami’ is made of here) …   Coffee and a Melita and a real coffee mug (the standard Joanis 20 ouncer, of course) …  People magazine!!  Good god, it just never ends … 

The pièce de résistance is the Pampered Chef scraper ~ I need it, as I manage to burn everything I try to cook on the damn hotplate and have not had the appropriate tool to tackle the char.  Thank you, Bill, for thinking of that ~ can you send a fire extinguisher in the next package?

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!  I’m a very lucky girl ….

Hey y’all ~ I’m kickin’ back, with my 20 ounce mug of real coffee (not the instant crap from a tube), feelin’ pretty darn pleased with life in general today.  I’m actually starting to feel comfortable here …

I’ve talked about it before ~ culture shock is nasty.  Living in a foreign country is always challenging.  I really thought I was ready for it ~ I have traveled through or lived in 30+ countries on my own, for varying lengths of time and, while Korea had not been on my list of “must do” things, I was willing to take advantage of the opportunity.   Truth be told, the past few weeks have been a bit hard. 

I got off to a rocky start ~ I was very unhappy being placed on a “friggin’ remote island” when I specifically requested a metro placement ~ civilization seemed to be an unmanagable distance away.  I was getting increasingly annoyed with the staring and pointing, the lack of privacy, the garbage, the food, the education system, the weather, absence of real coffee and dairy products, the language barrier …  everything was getting on my nerves.  Of course, Tim has been audience to my incessant bitching and moaning for weeks, usually commiserating but occasionally suggesting that I just “suck it up” ~ which pisses me off even more. 

More than once I was ready to say “screw it ~ I am OUTTA here” and board the next plane for the States.  (Unfortunately, that’s what the previous teacher in my position did ~ she said she just couldn’t hack it, packed her bags and left! ) 

Then it happened ~ Tim had a bad day this week, a really bad day ~ so bad that he called me at work to talk to me about it.   It was my turn to talk him down off the ledge.  That was probably the defining moment ~ coming to the realization that if we are going to make it here, we have to relax and adapt.   Seriously, the reports from people who LOVE it here are balanced by accounts of the people who flipped their wigs ~ I guess you have to  “shit or get off the pot”.

Fortunately, Tim is spending a few days in Seoul for a condensed version of the orientation I went through.  I suspect he will feel much better when he returns, after spending 5 days with other native English teachers.

It was fun to go to the city on Friday night.  We met up with more teachers (my god, they’re everywhere!) while out and about it Seoul.  It was nice to find out that a cab ride from the Western area of Seoul to the island only takes 35 minutes and the equivalent of 40$US/taxi ~ maybe we’re not so isolated after all … 

I slept in this morning and  spent most of the afternoon just puttering around town.  The “yellow dust” has settled down, and it’s a lovely sunny day.  All the little kids in the neighborhood are running around and playing ~ a bunch of them actually followed me for several blocks as I wandered around, singing and chattering away ~ so sweet!

In review, it was a good week ~ I got my ARC, internet in my home, a paycheck, and a care package from home (!!)  My “initial performance assessment” was very positive ~ the Vice Principal told me that kids like me (they don’t understand anything I say, but they like me …), the co-teachers think I’m doing well, and the Principal has asked that I teach him English when I have “spare time”.  All in all, life is good.

Now, I don’t want to lead anyone to the conclusion that I will spend all my time going forward with a big ol’ grin on my face ~ I’m certain that I will continue to comment on stupid shit that annoys me, but don’t take what I say too seriously.  It’s not “them”, it’s me.  And I’m okay.

Thanks to everyone for your support ~ I miss everyone and everything familiar more than I could have imagined.  Keep in touch!!  xo

I received my first “love note” today from one of my students. 

He’s a super-smart kid ~ he just returned from an English Acheivement Camp, where he received the award for #1 student.  He’s one of the kids who goes to school from 8am-10pm every day ~ regular school, After School Activities (more class with me), hagwon (evenings until 10 or 11) ~ plus some weekends and language camps.  I noticed him the first week of school, because he looked so tired ~ almost fragile. 

Anyway, the way it works is that the student writes a note on paper distributed through the counseling office specifically for the purpose.  The note is then given to the homeroom teacher, who passes it on to the recipient (in this case, me).  The recipient then responds, gives the note back to the teacher, who then passes it on to the student. 

I’m sure it is not unusual for the foreign teachers to get notes, but it is really special and sweet.  I will post a photo of this sweet boy sometime.

Yellow dust (hwangsa) is an annual phenomenon in Korea, caused by strong winds carrying a combination of pollutants and fine sand from the Gobi desert in Mongolia and the Taklamakan desert in China.  The Korea Meteorological Adminstration issued the yellow dust warning for Seoul last weekend, with a density level about 20 times higher than normal for this time of year. 

You can’t really see the dust, but you can definitely tell it’s there.  The sky is gray and hazy and most of the Koreans wear face masks.  If you are outside for any length of time, your throat gets scratchy and sore, and people with any respiratory issues are considered “at risk” during a yellow dust storm.   It permeates everything, everywhere ~ masks, window sealants, air purifiers are all “hot” retail items. 

The first time I saw it was in the evening, and I thought it was just a thick fog.  However, when I asked the students about it the next day at school, they told me about the yellow dust phenomenon.  Pretty wacky stuff!  That would explain why so many students are ill and why they sound like they are hacking up a lung when they cough incessantly ~ and perhaps why there has been a dramatic increase in public spitting and horking (which is so unbelievably gross that I won’t even go into it …)

Anyway, Tim is totally weirded out by it and is walking around holding a towel up to his face (he hasn’t purchased a mask yet) ~ he looks like a total goofball, but I guess a booger green towel is better than nothing.

I had to turn down yet another invitation to dine with the teachers this evening.  It was 5:15, I had just finished ASA, and Ct1 says “Teachers having dinner here. We must go.  Now.”   I reminded her that I have plans every Wednesday evening (I’ve blacked it out on the social calendar, regardless of any plans to actually get together) with the foreign teachers.  To which she responded, “No!  Teachers must eat here.  Now.”  You probably can see where this is going … 

I said, “No.  I already have plans.  You can go without me.”  I thought she was going to start crying ~ she may have forgotten to tell me (which means that she will be in trouble), but it was probably another last-minute “mandatory” dinners (which means she will likely be in trouble for not making me go), or she could just be desperate for my company because she hates going out with the teachers as much as I do. 

I don’t know, and I don’t really care ~ I hate the social functions, because no one talks to me ~ in fact, many go to great lengths to avoid any contact with me, for fear that they may have to eeeek out a word or two in English. 

OK, I’m not really being fair to the few who do try to talk with me.  There are the four “Konglish” teachers, who serve as “translators”; the super-friendly PE teacher who knows about 10 English phrases and uses them very enthusiastically in every conversation, regardless of context; the Principal, who desperately wants to speak English with me (but I can’t understand anything he says); and two sweet ladies who don’t understand a single word of English, but nod and smile enthusiastically every time I speak.  Doesn’t that sound like fun?  That’s how it is ~ all day, every day, every meal, every function …

Most of teachers are very nice and very kind.  There is only one teacher that really gets on my nerves.  He consistently refers to me as the “weagookin” (foreigner), as if I won’t know that he’s talking about me. 

My desk (well, my workspace) is in a room with 4 other people ~ Ct1 (whose desk is a few inches away), “Doris Ding-a-Ling” (I don’t’ know her name or exactly what she does … something administrative), and the “Discipline Counselors” (one male, one female), who are both very nice and very reserved.  Anyway, there is one other teacher than enjoys taking coffee breaks (morning, lunch, afternoon) in our office/room ~ he just sits there, slurping his coffee, chatting with the discipline officers and observing me.  And making weagookin comments …

I swear, one of these days I am going to whip around in my chair and say (in English, of course), “Hey, hair helmet.  I know what weagookin means.  I have a name ~ use it!  And, if you would bring your freakin’ cup to within six inches your mouth, you wouldn’t have to slurp!”   I could add a few more comments, but it would all be wasted ~ he can’t understand anything I say anyway.

One of these days …  I swear … 

But my favorite guy is the person we would call the “Maintenance Supervisor”  or “Janitor” or something like that ~ he’s an older guy (late 60s, maybe?), doesn’t speak any English, but he greets me at the door every morning with a bow and a handshake, chatters away happily in Korean with a big grin on his face … I adore him!!  Today he came into my ASA classroom and (as near as I can translate) told the boys they had to clean up and clear the chalkboard before they could leave.  And then nodded his head to me and left. 

It’s the little things …

I hate lesson planning.  It’s would be much easier if I had some sort of guideline, other than “just speak English” … but it is what it is.  And somehow it all comes together.

It must be a real bummer to be a Korean “English” teacher ~ they have a standardized curriculum that they have to follow, which includes the classroom text and a teacher’s manual.  I spend some of my time working with the Korean English teachers on translation of the teacher’s manual, a convoluted mess of Korean and English.

Anyway, poor Mrs. Ct1 was in quite a lather this morning ~ she could not figure out how the instructions in the manual applied to her lesson on classroom manners and behavior.  The issue was the acronym “UCC” ~ she was quite certain that “UCC” meant “Uniform Commercial Code” (as that is the first one that comes up in Google).  I had about 2 minutes to explain to her that UCC has about 50 definitions in English ~ she’s already had 3 hours to get all worked up about not understanding how to use it in her first class of the day.  Mystery solved ~ “UCC,” in this context, refers to User-Created Content, which is not a common term and definitely not familiar to the Korean teachers.   (Who the hell is writing these teacher manuals?)

It’s a minor, but somewhat significant issue ~ the variations in speech (accents), phrases, and spelling in the English language (i.e., American English vs UK English) make it even more difficult to learn.  The brightest students will occasionally correct my spelling ~ “teacher, shouldn’t that be spelled learnt, not learned ? ” (“I  learnt  how to speak English in middle school.”)   Someday they can tell their children that they learned to speak English in middle school from an accent-less (ha, ha) American teacher, who didn’t spell things funny.

I have been informed that once a month we will have a “Teachers Meeting” ~ which I think means that during the first week of every month, all the teachers get together for some sort of field trip.  The April event was an  “afternoon at the movies”.  I’ve been forewarned of  the “hiking” expedition (yes, there are “mountains” here ~ not exactly the Himalayas …)  that will likely occur within the next couple months.  Pray for mercy …

Yesterday was another “rescheduled” day ~ every period was adjusted to allow for the”Teachers Meeting”, so the school day ended at 230p and the entire teaching staff went to Gimpo.  We had 5 movies to choose from ~ the really daring teachers chose “Slumdog Millionaire”, which I chose because it was the only option in English (with Korean subtitles).  There was some discussion of going for “pizza” after the movies, but we gathered for dinner at a traditional (low table, mats-on-the-floor) Korean restaurant for dinner.    

Korean food is not served in courses, but is set on the table simultaneously.  There is no set order, it simply involves reaching and taking food with your chopsticks from communal dishes, at your preference.  (My preference is to choose the things that I can identify, but Ct1 prefers to sit next to me and load up my plate with a variety of things which she will later “explain” to me.)  Social events are quite an adventure …

I can usually sit cross-legged for about an hour at dinner, and then my legs go numb.  I can generally sit inches away from the hot-pot for about 30 minutes, then my face breaks out.  I can  tolerate sitting next to Ct1 at a dinner for about 15 minutes, then I fall into a coma.  Ct1 feels the need to explain every single item, every ingredient, every preparation method, every origin (this is a very special plant in Korea, grown in deep pits in the ground), every storage method …    There were a few food items that I didn’t recognize, but I sampled everything that came to the table, if only because I am constantly under observation during the meals and feel a bit of pressure to “at least try'” everything.   I must have done well, as one teacher offered a toast (“she-a like-a Korea food-a!!”) ~ clapping, clanking of glasses, slurping …  hurrah!  hurrah!  

My intenstines would differ with that conclusion ~ something on the menu was an unwelcomed visitor to the system.  Thank god I have a Western toilet, or the next blog entry might have been “How to Poop on the Squatter ” …   

be patient, my ass …

If you have had the pleasure of talking with me on the phone while I’m at school, you may have already experienced the truly remarkable level of noise that the boys produce in the hallways between classes or during the lunch break. 

Tim had his first encounter with my “thundering herd” while we were at the grocery store this afternoon.  I was in the aisle, trying to decipher the ingredients in a box of cereal, when a group of my students came roaring into the store ~ they had just finished shooting off rockets and flying airplanes at the science fair and were completely wound up.  When they saw me (it’s always very exciting to see the teacher out of the context), they started shouting “Miss Nancy, Miss Nancy”, waving their arms and jumping around, anxious to talk about what they’ve been doing today.  You’ve never seen anyone move away as fast the Korean shoppers who has the misfortune of being in the area.  Tim could actually hear the boys at the other end of the store ~ he didn’t know what all the ruckus was about, but he could hear English so he assumed that I was somehow involved.  It was all over in about a minute, then they roared off to pick out some snacks.  

I feel like a rock star.  😉 

I’m certain that it irritates the shit of my co-teachers that I have such a casual approach with the students ~ the first week of class, they were armed with the portable microphones and the batons, ready to discipline. My first week of lessons was classroom behavior and expectations ~ now all it takes is a good “stink eye” or a loud remark from me to silence the classroom.  It’s not the Korean way, but it works for me.  And that’s the end of that story. 

As a foreign teacher, I’m always the  “outsider” ~ the one who doesn’t understand the customs, the one who doesn’t ever know what is going on (even though it’s probably been announced over the loud speaker several times), the one who looks different and behaves differently, and (worst of all) doesn’t speak Korean.   It’s taken some time, but we are all getting used to each other and have learned to tolerate the differences, even if the ones we can’t fully embrace.  It’s all a matter of delicate balance.

I witnessed my first  ass-whoopin’  today in the counselor’s office.  It was odd ~ I watched as the two little boys got into a position, like they were going to do push-ups.  Then the counselor whipped out his ruler and cracked each boy three times, hard and fast, on the butt.  I don’t know what they did, but they probably won’t do it again for a while.  Nor will their friends, who were waiting out in the hall to comfort them.

We actually are in the second week of the “No Violence at School” initiative … ironic, isn’t it?

Almost all of the teachers carry batons or rulers or some sort of discipline tool ~ I’ve asked them NOT to bring them into my classroom.  The alternative punishments include holding chair above their head for 10 minutes followed by an apology, standing in the corner for 10 minutes (so embarassing!) for 10 minutes followed by an apology, etc.  If the entire class is acting up, they have to close their eyes and be calm for 5 minutes (excruciating) followed by an apology to the teacher.  Ct1 is the only co-teacher that still comes armed with a drumstick, ironically decorated with pink and blue ribbons, ready to strike anyone who dares to do anything.  (sigh)

I’ve heard the horror stories of kids with bruises, black eyes, split lips, or broken fingers.  The “discipline” in the schools had escalated to such a level and become so widespread that the Korean Education Ministry issued a directive ordering schools not to “beat students with broom sticks, ice hockey sticks, slippers, belts or attendance books.”  No mention of rulers, batons, drumsticks, hands, etc. 

We actually are in the second week of the “No Violence At School” initiative …   hmmmm 

Enough about that!

Where else would you find this sign?

NO DONG-CHIM  (roughly translated, “No poop needle”)

One of the fellow GETs was telling about the first time he was the unsuspecting recipient of a favorite practical joke of the school-aged boys.  Dong-chim is performed by clasping the hands together so the index fingers are pointing out and attempting to insert sharply into someone’s anal region when the victim is not looking (i.e., bending over to tie one’s shoe, at a drinking fountain, and (unfortunately) even at the urinal.)  Ish!!

The kids find it to be infinitely amusing ~ there are actually statues erected to illustrate the activity and internet games dedicated to the art ~ http://www.mikewang.org/dongchim.htm     (hey, I get this stuff from the kids ~ I feel some obligation to share …)

Trust me, I have not been “chimmed” ~ and the kid who attempts a dong-chim will likely realize that he has made a dreadful error …  

English language classes are challenging for my students. But they do it. They don’t like it, but they do it. My boys are so funny sometimes ~ one of them told me today, “Teacha,  too difficult.  My brains me hurting you make me work too hard.”   

Stuff like that makes me smile and laugh. And then there are the situations that are not so great … 

There is one little boy in Grade 1 that is really struggling.  The odds are not in his favor ~ he’s smaller, he’s smarter, he can speak several languages (including fluent English), he looks different (Mongolian/French heritage) ~ so he is a complete “outsider”.  His parents moved to Ganghwa Island to “get out of the city”, which resulted in his transfer from private school. And he is miserable …

When I walked into my ASA (After School Activity), I could hear what can only be described as howling, like an animal in distress (!!)   My “little man” was having a complete meltdown, crying hysterically, with his head between his knees.  I had no choice but to break the rules (NEVER leave a classroom unattended) and get him out of the room.  Once we were in the hallway, he told me that his classmates always make fun of him and push him around, that he doesn’t belong here ~ he screamed, “I am in HELL!!”  

As I was taking him to a quiet place, where he could just lay down and “chill” for a while, we met the Vice Principal in the hallway ~ not good.  First, I had broken a rule; secondly, a student under my guidance was clearly in distress.  The Principal addressed this kid with “What is your issue?!” and took him to the counselor’s office for a “rest” and told me to return to my classroom.

The unattended ASA students were fine, working on their projects. They all had questions about what was happening, so we talked about it a bit and (breaking yet another rule) l allowed the students to go home early.

When I returned to the counselor’s office, the kid’s homeroom teacher was there, he was calm and ready to go home. After the teacher and the kid left the room, the “counselors” both burst out in gales of laughter …    

WHAT is funny?!

I don’t understand.

Sometimes it just breaks my heart.

I got a call from the Customs Office today ~ the contents of my eagerly awaited care package #2 are under review. 
It’s likely that any foodstuffs (dammit ~ no real cheese, no real sausage, no real coffee) will be removed, but I assuming that my “miscellaneous personal items” will pass inspection.  I’ve clearly used up my “lifeline” for American food products.  And I’ll probably be on some blacklist for package inspection going forward.  Very disappointing …

Bill and Lisa, I wish I could give you back all the time and energy and money that you spent putting it all together ~ THANK YOU so much for everything!

Oh, well ~ at least they contacted me before they opened it.  We’ll see what made it through.

It’s a simple, common question ~ but the answer is much more complicated.

Koreans count their age at birth as ‘1 year’ and move up to ‘2 years’ at the next Lunar New Year.  This can cause many problems in the schools.  Grade 1 is age “14”, but the child may actually be 12.  For example, a child born on February 1, 1997 (1 year) would be 2 years old on February 7, 1997 and 3 years old on the following Lunar New Year’s day.  So, the kids in Grade 1 are actually ages 12-14 in Gregorian calendar years, at the beginning of the school term.  Of course, age disparity increases over the year, so Grade 1 is potentially a span from 12-15 years old ~ in one classroom.  Take that times 21  (7 classrooms x 3 Grades) and you’ve got a royal mess. 

My birthday is July 9.  However, according to the lunisolar calendar, my birthday is to be celebrated in Korea on June 11, 2009 ~ unfortunately, I would be much (at least 1, maybe 2 years) older than I prefer … let’s stick with the Gregorian calendar, shall we?

I love “my boys” and they love me …

Regardless of age. 

As it should be.

I am a crabby bitch today.  Very crabby.  And not particularly charming.  Today is one of those “do not mess with me “  days … 

I am really crabby with UPS.  My package has been on “hold” status since last Wednesday, despite numerous phone calls and email messages confirming a “inspect-and-release” request.  I got a message this morning that the package was  ‘in transit’  ~ so I arranged for the janitor to sign for it and call my Ct1 (this is “extraordinary” request, and I’m pushing the limits of goodwill favors), who would then call me, so I could go to the school and pick it up.  

Anticipating delivery all day, I finally got another message from UPS ~ SHIPMENT IS HELD TO VERIFY COMMODITY DESCRIPTION WITH THE CUSTOMER FOR CORRECT CLASSIFICATION / THE RECEIVER WAS CONTACTED FOR FURTHER INFORMATION. NO INFORMATION HAS BEEN RECEIVED AS OF YET ~

Um, well …   I talked to some guy on THURSDAY, who told me that the package would be delivered Friday or TODAY (Saturday) …

Urgh … I am really, really dangerously crabby now.  

Thank goodness I can always rely on my neighbors for a day-brightener.

My doorbell rings ~ once (ding-dong, pause), then repeatedly (ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong …)   I open the door to greet the downstairs neighbor, who marches into my apartment and picks up my dining room chair, bangs it down on the floor several times, and proceeds to YELL at me (in Korean),  demonstrating that the noise my chair makes on the floor is too loud.  I get it – upstairs neighbors are irritating and it’s good to talk about it ….
Unfortunately, I have absolutely ZERO tolerance at this point ~ I  looked at her and screamed “English!!” and escorted her out the door.   

Seriously ~ TODAY in NOT the day to fuck with me …

I will be fine  tomorrow.

I fear Ct1 may be teetering on the edge of madness.  Seriously ~ I think Ct1 may be showing some signs of mental instability.   The woman talks to herself ALL DAY LONG (Korean, Konglish, English … it doesn’t matter …),  she rocks (rocks, sways, goes back-and-forth) at every meal, and she is completely neurotic about personal contact.  Today I watched her punch herself in the stomach and slap herself on the arms for about 20 minutes ~ I’m hoping that it is some sort of weird attempt to improve her circulation or digestion or something.  Bizarre.

It’s very difficult to understand some cultural concepts, including nunchi and kibun.
In a culture where social harmony is essential, the ability to identify another’s ability to establish social relationships nunchi, is crucial. For example, a socially clumsy person can be described as 눈치 없다 (nunchi eoptta) meaning “absence of nunchi.”
The word Kibun has no literal translation in English. The Kibun is regarded as both an internal and external force that can be harmed via other individuals lack of awareness to it. If someone damages, or harms, your Kibun, they will alter the way you are able to interact with others.

Why on earth the foreign teacher is paired with Ct1 is unexplained, except for the fact that she has the least number of classes and an abundance of unscheduled time every day. She dedicates her time audio English translation (please, god, can someone give that woman a set of HEADPHONES, so the entire office doesn’t have to hear the same word repeated 37 times? …) or listening to “pop music” (“Tie a Yellow Ribbon” is her most recent favorite.)

I must do something about this situation without harm to Kibun ~ or I am going to lose my mind.

ok ~ I am sick.  Weird noises are coming from my lungs, so I must be sick.  I’m coughing, but everyone is coughing.  I’m sneezing, but everyone is sneezing.  I’m totally wiped out and my lungs are making a weird noise ~ so I must be sick.

NO, I will not “go to hospital” like everyone else does for the slightest ailment ~ “I have stomachache ~ go to hospital” “I have hangnail ~ go to hospital.” “I’m getting a zit ~ go to hospital.”  “I have runny nose ~ go to hospital”.  I am willing to go to the one clinic on the island that has an English-speaking professional on staff, but it means going with Ct1 ~ I think I would rather suffer, but …

I had an exam, a chest x-ray, a pulmonary test … everything is “normal”.  My treatment is for “temporary (3-7 days) asthma”. I have never heard of temporary asthma, but maybe it’s the yellow dust syndrome. Orders are to wear a mask, take the inhaler for 3 days, return to clinic on Saturday.   Now everything should be fine.   Ignore that EVERY OTHER HUMAN BEING in the school is coughing up a lung … at least the “whitie” went to the doctor.

oh, for god’s sake ….

I’ve been talking to Ct1 about privacy ~ I need some private time, I need to be alone, I need some “quiet time” in my apartment in the evenings … I’ve told her that I want to be alone. 

oh, for god’s sake ~ I finally get it. 

I’ve been telling Ct1 that I need to be ALONE. She’s been going online for translation, and is under the impression that I’m LONELY and in need of attention, which explains why she so damned determined to spend 24 hours a day with me.
Unfortunately, she has been telling everyone (everyone, everyone, everyone) that I am LONELY and telling them that they need to spend more time with me … which is exactly the opposite of what I am trying to tell her.  It’s no wonder the teachers are so surprised when I say “no” to invitations to join in activities. The invitations are kind gestures, but nobody speaks English and I’m generally avoided so it’s unpleasant and uncomfortable for everyone.  p>

I appreciate the efforts of Ct1, but if she doesn’t understand much of what I say, so she translates through some free online translator ~ and we end up with gross miscommunication.  Unfortunately, the “English teachers”  rely on her for translation ~ so instead of talking to me (like, actually  TALKING  to me), even the English co-teachers listen to the translation of Ct1.  No wonder they are confused (and probably pissed off ….)

I finally get it. 

Aveda.  Land O’Lakes.  Spam.   My god, if I see a General Mills or Cargill product, my circuits may blow!!

At the Hyundai Mart, you can find products from the USA and all over the globe, but the prices are pretty crazy.  For example, a 6-ounce block of Land O’Lakes cheese is 8800 won (approximately $6.95, or $18.50/lb).   A liter of milk is 4000 won ($3.15).  A gallon of Seventh Generation laundry detergent is 26000 won ($20.50).   I can find a substitute for the laundry detergent, but the cheese I MUST have ~ cheddar, pepper jack, and “cheddarilla” (I don’t know exactly what that is, but I’m getting some …)

Moving on to the “spirits” section ~ there is no such thing as a “3-buck chuck”.  For example, a bottle of Kendall Jackson Chardonnay  is 39000 won (approximately $31), a nice Spanish Rioja that would cost about $40 at Surdyks’ will set you back 190,000 won ($150).  In the beer section, a six-pack of Beck’s bottles is 24,000 won ($19), compared to a “pitcher” of domestic beer (Hite or Cass) for 4800 won ($4).   Amazing.  The wine purchase will have to be put on hold for a special occasion, but the Beck’s seems a reasonable purchase. 

I left the Hyundai Mart, content with my purchase of cheese and beer, pleased that there is a place where I can purchase what I “need” to ease some of the homesickness.  The adjacent COEX Mall offers many comfort options for the expat ~ there are several “Western” eating places, a Bandi & Luni’s bookstore (yes, they have a good English section), and a movie complex (though most of the movies are in Korean).  I prefer the Gangnam area to the popular expat areas of Itaewon and Hongik University ~ it’s just so much nicer. 

I have found a few places where I can get “western” stuff ~ Hyundai Mart and COSTCO are probably the most popular.  Unfortunately, the COSTCO stores (3 in the Seoul area) are not that conveniently located, and everything is (of course) packaged in bulk, which doesn’t really make a lot of sense for one person.  I am looking into a delivery service that is affiliated with COSTCO, but I need to know my home delivery address in order for that to happen!  (Believe it or not, I have no idea what my home address is …) 

Like I said, the stuff is available ~ it just depends how badly you want it, how much you are willing to pay, and how much hassle you can deal with to get it. 

I’m still dealing with the coughing and wheezing noises described in an earlier entry, which stopped for a while but started up again. Obviously, if the choice is between the local quack shop or the International Clinic, I will schedule an appointment while I’m in Seoul.

I love my doctor at the ASAN International Clinic. She is concerned that I am not getting over what we had previously concluded was bronchitis, but she is actually more concerned that I continue to lose weight (almost 15 pounds in the past month).  After a thorough exam, she said, “Your life for you is not good for you right now.  You need the rest and the food that you are accustomed to.”  

I’ve been sick a lot in the past couple months, more than I can ever remember being sick in my whole life.  I know the main factor is my diet ~ I just hate the food here, and I’ve come to dread meals (even the ones I make at home).  The other factor is the environment ~ it’s just one big, filthy germ pool.  But, I do feel better just knowing that I can get medical attention if I need it. 

(Rufus Wainright fans may find it amusing that I looked at the clock upon awakening and it was, indeed, 11:11 am)

What a FANTASTIC weekend it has been!!

I got home around 9 pm last night, and Tim got back from Jeju about 15 minutes later ~  we drank beer and swapped stories and talked smart to the wee hours of the morning …

The weather was beautiful today ~ sunny, clear sky (no dust!),  21C/70F.   I did some laundry and hung it out on the roof of the building to dry ~ ah, the smell of sun-dried clothing is one of life’s simple pleasures!

OH!  We ventured to “the roof” of our building today ~we knew it existed but until this afternoon we didn’t know how to get up there.  What we found is a nice, clean, uncluttered space where we can spend private time outside of our 12×12 rooms.  I don’t know what the restrictions are but we could probably find a grill and bbq up there in the evenings ~ what a delightful idea!  Now if we can find a meat market that isn’t too scary …

We immediately set out on a mission to find “stuff” for our new-found space ~ specifically a grill, but also maybe some chaise lounges or just some folding chairs.  We searched high and low, but didn’t find what we are really looking for ~ it will have to go on the “buy in Seoul” list, which seems a bit goofy, but that’s how it is.

The only bad thing about having a fantastic weekend is the return to reality.  “God almighty, this place is a dump.”  It really is.  I traveled back to the island on the bus last night with fellow teachers, a lovely couple from South Africa.  They told me that they usually make the trip to Seoul every weekend as well, just to get out of town for a day.  They assured me that life on the island “gets” to everyone ~ and that anyone who suggests they love it are simply lying.  I have found this to be true at “teacher gatherings” when, after a few (or a few too many) cocktails, the serious bitching and moaning begins …

Urgh, enough of that ~ I’m going to revel in a few more hours of afterglow …

The 3-hour commute is a real pain-in-the-ass but, now that I have found a wonderful place to stay, I will probably make weekend get-aways in Seoul a regular activity.  I can look forward to 24 hours of pampering, decent meals, and sensory stimulation.  If that’s what it takes to keep my marbles in the ring, it’s a small price to pay.

The CCTV systems are everywhere ~ every street corner, every hallway, every store, every school …   Korea is not unique with its abundance of monitors, it is a bit unnerving to realize that every single movement you make outside of your private living space is being recorded.  It’s creepy.  I don’t like it …  but I guess I have nothing to hide.  There is absolutely nothing going on out here that could lead to any mischief, unfortunately …

I consider myself under constant observation anyway.  We, “the foreigners”, are endlessly fascinating and amusing.  Most of the folks in my immediate neighborhood and those in the vicinity of any of the schools are pretty used to seeing us, but if we venture even a few blocks out of our “normal” area, it’s still a  gawk-talk-and-squawk  fest.   Do NOT, under any circumstances, attempt to talk to anyone ~  if they don’t turn away (or run away), they get really closetoyou and talk loud and fast in Korean ~ it’s just not a good thing.

On the opposite end of the spectrum are the few who desperately want to speak to you in English, and will follow you around town ~ the “hovercraft”.   THAT is weird, but totally harmless …   The “conversation” generally begins with a series of personal questions regarding nationality, age, marital status, diet, hobbies, etc.,  followed by the “In America …”  questions i.e. “What size are your jeans in America?   What size are your shoes in America?   How much do they cost in America?”  or   “Do you have plastic surgery in America?”   or  “Are you a Christian in America?”   or  “Do you like Korean food in America?”  Like I said, the hovercraft are harmless … but don’t try to shake it up with any sarcasm, or you lose the audience. “In America, do you grow vegetables?” “No. In America, we have very little vegetation, and subsist primarily on rocks, fiber strings, and hydrogen. It is very difficult for an American to adjust to the abundance of fine food and clean, pure air that is available in Korea.”

Then, we have the remarkably intoxicated guy who approaches a group in a restaurant to apologize for EVERYONE in Korea who hates foreigners, because he LOVES foreigners ~ he loves foreigners so much that he wants to spend the rest of the night with the foreigners and drink their soju. Unfortunately, these are the same dudes that will expel big wads of phlegm at you as you pass on the street, while muttering “fucking foreigners” …

OK ~ so it’s basically a wacky, harmless group of folks out here on the island … so,WHAT are they monitoring?  It certainly is not the spitting, the traffic, or the garbage …  What could possibly be of such tremendous interest that there needs to be a camera every 20 feet?  If the millions of hours of video footage is ever made available to the public, we will find out …

I will never drive a car in Korea. 
All the controls are there ~ traffic lights, separated lanes, crosswalks, traffic signs ~ all of which are blissfully ignored by all the folks in automobiles.  Reportedly, Korea has a significantly high traffic fatality rate.  Causes of accidents include excessive speed (I have yet to see a speed limit sign), frequent lane changes, running of red lights, aggressive bus drivers, weaving motorcyclists, miscellaneous distractions …
Most major streets are good enough, even though there is generally no shoulder or parking spaces, which results in cars parked basically anywhere.  The minor streets are technically wide enough for two lanes of traffic, but when you take into consideration all the illegally-parked cars, the minimized driving space results in cars driving head-on into each other, lots of honking and backing up and turning around and shouting at the other driver with gestures …  you get the picture.

Even being a passenger in a private vehicle can be terrifying.  Generally, I opt to walk when offered a ride.  If distance is an issue, I will take a taxi (securely buckled in the back seat, of course) or a bus.  Even if the taxi driver drives like a bat-out-of-hell, he is a trained professional bat.  And the bus is a no-brainer ~ what car is going to mess with a bus?

Being a pedestrian in Korea is a special experience. Pedestrians should be aware that motorcyclists drive on the sidewalks and drivers of all types of vehicles do not always yield to pedestrians in marked crosswalks.

And, unless you have a serious death wish, do NOT ride a bicycle.  I was telling one of the fellow teachers how much I enjoy watching the bicycle team when they ride out from the city, usually every Saturday.  He convinced me to take his bike out for a spin ~ “oh, it will be fine.  It’s not exactly the right size, but you’ll have fun.  Go on!!”  Wrong ~ so, so wrong ~ what a nightmare.  Somehow, I survived … but I may never ride a bicycle in Korea EVER again.  I will be content to watch from now on …  thank you very much.

No driving of cars.  No riding of bicycles.  Just “ped” at your own risk.

I’m walking home from school and I see a white guy with red hair, smokin’ a cig and hangin’ his head over a residence wall, observing the construction activities in our alley.  So, of course (shy gal that I am), I approach and say, “Hey, what’s goin’ on?”
~ and I hit a “jackpot”.

John is from Denver, has lived in Seoul for almost 20 years, is married to the daughter of my across-the-street neighbor.  He came here in the military, taught for 10 years (was probably the first “whitey” on Ganghwa Island), now works for the US Government.   We ended up talking for about an hour, about Colorado (Denver, Cripple Creek, Central City, etc), about how teaching in Korea has evolved in the past 15 years (not for the better, unfortunately), and how I can enhance my experiences here.   Small world, isn’t it?  He told me that he and his wife usually spend every other weekend on the Island, and to “holler” if I see them ~ I suspect I may.

Which reminds me ~ I haven’t seen the “English Speaking Store-guy” for several weeks (maybe he is a figment of my imagination?) I’ve made it a point to stop in to that store, but he’s never there – bummer.

In any case, I look forward to seeing the “English-speaking man” from the grocery store again.  And hopefully running into John!

I’m getting used to the bus to Seoul.   The great thing is the departure schedule ~ there’s a bus every 20 minutes or so.   The bad thing is every bus is almost always FULL and you will generally have a seat-mate, which is always a crap shoot.   I’ve been lucky so far ~ no weirdos, no drunks, no space hogs ~ no worries.

Let me preface this little story but saying that Koreans love to share food ~ this is a communal-eating society. At the dining table, the main dishes are shared by everyone.   In the office, you bring enough for everyone.   It seems natural, then, to share while on the bus.  I’ve been offered something every time I ride the bus ~ from water to vitamin gum to squid snacks to … well, whatever it was that I was offered today.

I noticed this woman as we were boarding, as she was loading big boxes of stuff into the cargo area underneath the bus.   The last one to board, she was (of course) my seat-mate. Within a few minutes of departure, she starts chattering with me in Korean and produces a bag of food snack treasures that she wants to share with me.

An important social rule in Korea is to graciously accept whatever is offered to you ~ to not accept will cause the giver to “lose face”.  So, I graciously accepted a slab of dark green firm stuff.  It was really chewy, didn’t taste like anything, but I’m assuming (because of the color) that it was a combination of seaweed and … something.   Anyway, after I choked down my first piece, she insisted that I take another ~ I patted my stomach vigorously and tried to communicate that one delicious snack (yummy-yum) was plenty.   She seems disappointed, but proceeded to polish off  5 or 6  more of those bad boys on her own, tuck the rest away in her bag, and then fall asleep on my shoulder for the remainder of the trip.   Ordinarily, I would not be crazy about a stranger sleeping on me on the bus ~ but there was something so  weirdly sweet  about it.

Perhaps there was a sedative quality in those slabs of  green glob …   Whatever it is, she was content as she transported on the bus from Ganghwa.

The food here affects all of us differently ~ I’ve lost weight, but other foreign teachers have put on some pounds.  I poop like a rocket launching, but others have been to the hospital to deal with constipation.  But we have one thing in common ~ we all hate traditional Korean food.  WHAT A RELIEF ~ I thought I was the only one.

I was amazed that ALL of us have independently developed the same eating habits ~ a big “Western” breakfast at home before work, a bowl of rice and maybe some soup (if it isn’t too weird) for lunch, and a “normal” evening meal at home (chicken or pork – not “beef” or seafood).  Almost all of us travel to Seoul on the weekends to spend a small fortune on groceries at Hyundai and meals at familiar franchise restaurants.

I accepted, and then declined, but was ultimately obligated to go to a lunch with the Korean teachers the other day.  After an extensive debate, we went to a restaurant that offered a menu “more suitable to the Western palate”.  It was traditional place ~ we sat on mats on the floor at low tables ~ but the teachers considered it “not good” and were busy planning the next “better” meal before this one even began.   I wanted to scream,  “NO!  You don’t understand!  I actually LIKE food that is not raw and leaping out of the dish.  I like having the side dishes in separate bowls, rather than piled onto one big glob of intermingled tastes.”  (I’m not crazy about sitting on the floor for several hours in a yoga position, but I can’t do anything about that …)

You really can’t go wrong with bulgogi – it’s probably the most popular food for foreigners, because it’s just strips of beef in a “barbeque” sauce. Saengseon-gil is also pretty straight-forward ~ it is a whole grilled fish, which has not been scaled, gutted, deboned, or decapitated. A little scary, very messy, but good. And then there is kimchi

Then there is the  Kimchi.  Kimchi.  Kimchi.  Kimchi is a “super food”.  Kimchi is definitely an acquired taste, kind of a “pickle experiment” gone terribly awry. It is basically cabbage, soaked in salt, fish sauce, garlic, ginger, red pepper, and any other ingredients that the maker wishes to throw in there, which is then buried and left to rot in urns under the ground, and eventually served for meals.  There are many variations on the kimchi:  Ggakdugi (chopped radish), Chonggak (ponytail), Nabak (red water), Bossam (rolled), Yeolmumul (summer green water),  Baek (white cabbage), Baechu (whole cabbage), Dong Chimi (winter white water).  I DO eat kimchi every day, if even just a small glob, to appease the kimchi gods.

The worst thing about kimchi is not the taste, it’s the smell.  Honestly, I have opened my refrigerator and wondered “what the HELL died in there? …)   Not only the smell of the kimchi itself, but how it makes your breath smell.  Everyone has a toothbrush and paste at work, in a dedicated cabinet in the restroom ~ you cannot brush your teeth well enough or eat enough breath mints to get rid of the rotting vegetable odor that lingers in your system.  (Seriously, this is some stinky stuff.)

Wow, and after that glowing endorsement, I’m certain that all of you will be racing to the nearest Korean food store to buy a big ol’ bucketfull of kimchi, right?  An alternative would be to just try it in a Korean restaurant sometime ~ you actually may like it.

Um, let’s see, what else can I tell you about Korean food …. 
Ah, yes ~ they do eat dog. It’s not so common, but there are restaurants that serve  yeongyang-tang  or  bosin-tang (dog soup) and I have been to “picnics” where dog meat was grilled.  I haven’t had it and have no intention of trying it. 
It’s just another one of those things on the long list of dishes that will not pass my lips, including yang gobchang-gui  (broiled beef tripe and chitterlings), chueo-tang (loach and bean paste soup), and gopchang-jeongol (seasoned entrails and vegetable stew).   I could go on and on and on, but you get the idea.

My diet consists primarily of chicken breast and broccoli.  And coffee.  And beer.  Lots and lots of beer …

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!  I hope you got the flowers!  I love you and I miss you!!  Your darling-est daughter

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to all the moms out there!!

We just concluded Celebration of Family week~

“Children’s Day” (which would be more appropriately called “do you have any more Tylenol? or soju?” Day, given the frenzy of activities scheduled to entertain the little monsters), and 

“Parents Day” (not an “official” holiday, but possibly the only day that fathers are allowed to take off from work to spend time with their kids …)

Unfortunately, neither holiday was of any significance to the middle school boys ~ they are too old to be celebrated as children and they were taking exams on Parents Day. My classroom discussion starter: “In America, we pay special tribute to our mothers on Mother’s Day, and to our fathers on Father’s Day.”  The students could not possibly care less.

Well, that went really well – another scintillating lesson plan shot to hell … 

Anyway ~ I wish all moms  “Happy Mother’s Day!!”  .

I’m thinking of you with love …

As I was walking back to my apartment today, I came upon an elderly man pulling a cart loaded with stuff.  I approached him, offering to assist by putting my hand on his cart, but he slapped away my hand and marched forward.  I waited for a minute, and approached again ~ this time replacing his hand on the cart with mine and gesturing that he keep walking.   We were at a stare-down-stand-still for a few seconds, but then he started walking … and kept walking … and continued walking (at this point I’m thinking what the hell did I get myself into)  until we finally reached his home, about a mile up the steep hill from where we started our journey.  ( I’m thinking “Holy Christ!  This dude appears to be about 150 years old, and he was hauls this cart up here?”)   After I unloaded his cart, he grasped my shoulders and said, “Miguk?” (America?)  “Sho shank you.  Shank you.  Gomap-seumnida!” (thank you!)   To which I offered the deepest bow I can manage and responded, “My pleasure. Cheonman-eyo.” (you’re welcome)    And I went home, satisfied with my limited ability to speak polite Korean phrases.

That was a week or so ago … whatever … I didn’t give it much thought, I guess.

Today, as I was walking home from school, I encountered a group of elderly ladies who were eagerly chattering and gesturing for me to come to them. After a few minutes of pantomime and wild gestures (and a few key words in Korean), I figured out that they were trying to tell me that I must be the American woman – they kept pointing to my apartment building (where I have my flag prominently displayed) and waving at the hill – that helped the man with his cart. A happy bunch ~ clapping and laughing and chattering.

Actually, I don’t know if they are laughing and clapping because I am an ignorant foreigner who was “duped” into carrying the load, or if they think that I am OK.   Worst case scenario, I suppose, is that they may expect me to be their new “delivery person”  …

I could hear car horns blowing and people shouting as I approached the intersection ~ a middle-aged woman was practically dragging a crazy-legged man across the street.  The pair had clearly exceeded the 20-second pedestrian crossing  allotment, but I could see that the man was not drunk (which is, unfortunately, the first assumption), but quite severely crippled and dragging a cane.

There were at least 20 people waiting at the crosswalk ~ just staring.  Just watching and staring.

So, I dropped my umbrella (we are experiencing a downpour of heavy rain),  went out into the intersection, hoisted him up, and hauled him to the curb.  He was clearly terrified, not only by the traffic but also by the fact that he was being man-handled by some crazy foreign woman.   Thankfully, I ran into a Korean friend, who was able to assure him that we would take him to the clinic safely and accompanied us one block (15 minutes) to the clinic. The patients in the waiting area were probably pretty weirded out by the whole thing, but “Mr Crazy Legs” got where he needed to go.

When we returned to the crosswalk, the woman who had originally been assisting the man across the street was holding my umbrella and patiently waiting for our return. My Korean friend couldn’t figure out the whole situation ~ “Why would you do such a thing? You would be hurt!”

But if there is a person in need, don’t we all share some obligation to assist?

How can anyone just ignore a person who has an obviously need of assistance ~ the the ancient man hauling a cart up the hill, the crippled man stuck in a busy intersection?  How can you ignore a child (albeit, a student) that is clearly suffering physical or emotional pain?!

I just don’t get it!!

I just don’t get it …