just another American teacher in SK

I’ve mailed my packages, closed my bank account, paid my final bills, cleaned and closed up the apartment, and crossed that channel bridge for the last time.

My final mission was to bring personal closure with my “little man”, the student struggling for acceptance and destined for the extraordinary.
He ran to me as he exited his classroom ~ he knew it was my last visit. When I offered him my American flag, he fell to the floor, hugged my legs and began crying.
I am so blessed with this moment ~ someday this will be a treasured memory.

I love teaching ~ I love my boys ~ but I have to leave …. and it’s all good.

When people ask why I’m leaving, I simply respond

Because I can.

It can be hard as hell for a “Westerner” to live in Korea, perhaps harder than anywhere else in the world with a similarly high standard of living.  From conversations, discussions of everyday experiences, it seems to be that a lot of foreigners have a love/hate relationship with Korea and the Korean people.

When I first arrived, I was excited and eager for new experiences.  After a while, the newness wore off, and homesickness began.  “I will never understand this place.  I want some real food, some real friends, a real apartment.”  Nothing made any sense. 

I thought “maybe it’s only a matter of time …” (convinced there was still some hope).  As I continued to cope with the realities of living here, I adjusted and became accustomed to  the things that annoyed me.  Life became pleasant enough that I no longer cared so much about the inconveniences.  I proclaimed “Life is good!  I can do this!” 

Ultimately, the little everyday annoyances begin to weigh on even the most saintly soul (which I am not).  You get tired of almost being run over by vehicles every time you walk down the sidewalk.  You get fed up with people not standing in line or waiting their turn.  You get frustrated when you get lost again because there are no street signs and the directions someone gave you are totally fucked up.  You get tired of being the “stupid foreigner”, who still doesn’t realize that nothing ever goes wrong in Korea ~ it’s not “wrong”, it’s just different that what you expect it to be. 

It is time to leave when you begin to be negative about the country and the people, when you lose trust in others.  When you no longer want to go to work, become irritated with everything and everyone, and have “bitch sessions” with other like-minded folks (generally a gathering of Westerners), it is time to go.  I want to emphasize that there are many foreigners in Korea who have come to and remain at the point where life is “pleasant enough”  –  perhaps not so much assimilated, but very much a part of the country in their own right – and they want to spend a long time in Korea.  For me, however, the time to leave simply came sooner rather than later.  I have to leave. Now.  Hopefully, I’ve realized it before it affected my life too deeply.

Recently, I’ve been bored, listless, and slightly annoyed all the time, wishing that time would go by faster ~ which is a horrible thing to wish for, as each moment of life is precious.  I have come to the realization that I have probably learned all I need or want to know about this place.  I found Korea to be extremely uninteresting, both visually and culturally.  There are millions of amazing places and things to see and experience on this planet, but I do not consider South Korea to be on the list.

Do I regret my decision to come here?   No … yes … maybe … I don’t know …   Nothing good results from regrets and worries.  The past is the past, the future is as it will be.  I am at peace with my decision to leave South Korea.

The biggest issue for me is life on the island.  At its best, the island is an absolute shithole ~ in the worst of times, the island is an obvious target for North Korean aggression,  the epicenter of water-rights disputes, separated from NK only by a narrow channel.  I’ve lived in turbulent areas before (i.e., Nepal and Thailand), but the difference is that I always felt “safe” ~ the people were informed and alert, and the safety of foreigners was a priority.  Here, they could have an evacuation order and the foreigners would be the last to know …

The final straw for me was an e-mail message from the US Embassy:
 Evacuate the islands bordering the channel of North Korea when you do not feel secure.

It’s time to go.

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