The large lady is, as we speak, warming up her vocal chords…
Wednesday, March 14th, 2007Well, that is, as they say, that…
I’ve eaten 13 airline meals on 16 flights with 8 airlines over some 31,500 miles, that’s about 61 hours cramped into a seat at 39,000ft. 16 airports have been the gateway or transit points to the 10 countries I’ve visited: and only one country had immigration officials that seemed genuinely pleased to see me (Malaysia).
Tuktuks, elephants, horses, rickshaws, bikes, buses and coaches of varying disrepair, cars, motorbikes, boats and more have taken me at least 18,360miles by road and 1,050miles by sea to 15 islands.
The highest point I’ve climbed to was 4,500m above sea level, and been down to the shallows of 18m below sea level, and done lots of crazy stuff in between. Over 10,800 people have read about it all on here. Many have found the page by searching on Google, some came from (bizarrely) a German snowboarding webpage and 257 people read the page where I slagged off Vientiane (Laos’ capital city) because some local flagged my page on their website:
http://www.212cafe.com/freewebboard/view.php?user=laoupdate&id=1264
So add to the useless stats: 1 upset local.
Some of you even bothered to reply to my emails, for which news from home was always nice to hear, though a special mention has to go out to my mate Craig who seemingly doesn’t have much to do at work, and regularly criticised, found innuendo in, and ripped to shreds pretty much every sentence I wrote. Which on average of once a month got me some strange looks as I was laughing uncontrollably in an internet cafe somewhere at the replies.
And the highlights?
To start off, you need to travel, and the best airline to do that with is Singapore Airlines. Though special mention goes to Air Sahara on 3 counts. An inspired name as they fly in India, which is nowhere near the aforementioned desert. They have the naffest slogan: Emotionally Yours. And on a one hour flight managed to serve a 3 course curry meal to 150 passengers.
I liked pretty much everywhere I went, but that’s sitting on the fence to leave it at that. Once you’re there, the best places to go are: Kashmir and the Himalaya in general, Rajasthan (in low season), the southern Alps (and the rest of South Island) New Zealand, Kanagaroo Island in South Australia, Borneo and the Perhentian Islands in Malaysia, and Fiji. Worst place was Delhi. Favourite country: India, Vietnam, Malaysia, Fiji and New Zealand. And controversially, as everyone else in the world seems to love it, my least favourite was Thailand. Nothing particularly bad about it, but the beaches elsewhere are better and less crowded and there are only so many Buddhas you need to see. I just thought it was a little overrated and for “the land of smiles” the locals not particularly friendly or… smiley.
Need somewhere to put down your head? Try Rockway Cottage, near Old Manali village in HP, North India. 15 minutes along a rocky footpath and you’re in a spot where the snowy hills are the view from your bed, and the only sound is the rushing of the river below you. Just don’t get put off when Jengo the mental dog chases you away. Fathers in the Cameron Highlands of Malaysia and Tahan Guest House in Taman Negara – just because they were nice. Beach Shack at Mission Beach in Aus as it was quite, literally, just like staying at your mates house, if they lived on the beach, and similary North Borneo cabin in Kota Kinabalu in Malaysian Borneo for being like a stylish loft apartment. Annies in Alice Springs was just fun, and the place we spent Christmas for the same reason: Backpackers Inn on the Beach In Byron Bay, though does have the least catchy name. Stafford Gables in Dunedin, NZ, was a lovely old black and white house, and gets special mention for it’s three ghosts. Beachcomber in Fiji is the best place to spend your 27th birthday in my opinion, but Oarsman’s Bay Lodge was the nicest on all the islands. Most bizarre was the room constucted of not much more than saris, at the Ishar Palace in Jaisalmer. The worst places were also in Indian cities and border towns anywhere.
Best view is undoubtedly sunrise from the top of any mountain, or sunset on a tropical beach somewhere, say the South Pacific. My favourite things to do were trekking and climbing every mountain I came across, learning to dive, four wheel driving on a sand island, visiting the jungle in Borneo, and doing absolutely nothing on a string of paradise islands.
Eating and drinking your way around a whole host of local treats is pretty good fun too. The best beer undoubtedly is Beer Laos, and the best food discovered was … all the Asian food I’d not had before, and Momos (Tibetan steamed dumplings with fire inducing Chilli sauce). I got sick of eating mutton in India.
The worst thing I packed was my bag, which started to fall apart in June. The best thing I packed was the gaffa tape that has been holding it together since June.
The most honest shopkeeper was the guy who chased four of us across a deserted square (low season and over 40 degrees) in Jaisalmer calling, “please come into my shop and give me a chance to rip you off a little”. Strangest thing I’ve been offered was a monkey on a piece of string on a bus on the way to Agra; I did think of saying yes for a comical moment. Best haircut was by the short man who cut my hair with his eyes closed in some backstreet in Rishikesh.
Not being a linguist, the most I can remember from the various languages is usually hello and thank you. The nicest way to say thank-you is in Laos, Kahp Jai La Lai
From all the things that get shouted at you down the street, you’ll think your name is tuk-tuk, moto (as in the bike), massage.
And the worst things? Getting Delhi belly when it was 46 degrees in the shade, and catching a cold on a tropical island. One of the best things is all the new people you meet, but the worst inevitable consequence of a transient lifestyle is that you are constantly saying goodbye…
So all in all, it’s been a great year, and you know what? I’m not ready to go back either, and if I had a bit more money I could happily stay away for longer. Even though later on today I will be leaving, it still doesn’t feel that it’s all over.
I had been hoping for some inspiration whilst I was away for what I want to do for the next couple of years, but as yet it hasn’t happened. Never mind!
One thing that will be nice is not living from a bag, and seeing some of you again, and hopefully keeping in touch with those I’ve met this year.
As I’ve gone on for long enough, that just about brings this whole thing to a close, so for the time being, it’s all over. But as the bug has bitten, this can never be the last time…
THE END
to be continued…
Nick