We also had a drum going to “Mrs. Twin”.  She is the woman that Noeline met on one of her trips.  Noeline was in the small village and she saw this young frail woman coming in.  She thought she was sick or something, so she approached and they fell into conversation. The people in Ghana speak perfect English, because of the British influence so they had no problem communicating.  It turned out that Mrs. Twin (not her real name) had just had her 6^th set of twins!  So she had 12 children!  This shocked Noeline!  She knew that these births had taxed the woman so much that she looked like she was physically spent. Noeline asked if she wanted these babies’s and if she didn’t, there were ways to prevent it.  The woman listened but she said that Noeline would have to talk to her husband (woman don’t have any decision making power in this society.) Noeline approached the husband and explained to him that his wife could not bear anymore children- her body was exhausted.  She also explained that the mission could perform an operation that would prevent her from getting pregnant.  The husband didn’t understand and said, “No”, she had to “boom boom”.  Noeline re-explained that his wife could “boom boom” morning, noon and night – but she would not be making more babies because of it.  He was starting to get it, but needed to gather the men of the village together to hear this.  Noeline met with the men of the town and after the explanation, they were so concerned that the woman could still “boom boom?”  She finally got through to them that she could and that she herself (Noeline) would pay for the operation.  They finally all agreed to the operation. Everything had gone well and Mrs. Twin came through with flying colors!
 Noeline felt that if she could change the life of one person, she has done her job.
    Months later, Noeline got a call from the mission informing her that 11 more woman had come forward to have the operation!  Noeline was overjoyed that these families would not need to add to their burden of caring for the children they already had, by having more.  
 
  And just a week ago, Noeline had gotten a call from the mission they told her that the house that Mrs. Twin and her family lived in had fallen down and it they did not have any money to build another one – she and her husband and 12 children where sleeping with no roof over their head and they had nothing.  So on this weekend we started a box for Mrs. Twins. We put dishes, and curtains and fabric (her older daughter could make cloths for the younger children) plastic cups, and bowls.  Baby dolls for the little girls and trucks for the boys.  We sent biscuits (cookies) and some tools for the husband.  A few mismatched silver (cooking pans) and trays and flatware. We found all kinds of used bathmats that could be used to have the children sleep on and some throw pillows. We gathered so many things that we thought could be put to use for this family.  It felt good to know whom you were boxing up things for- it helped with the connection and with each item packed, love was sent into all the crevices. 
  But the downside is that it might be a year or more before Mrs. Twins and her family will see any of it.  It will take months for Noeline to raise the money for a container (5,000 euros) and then it will take months and months for it to go over by boat then truck till it finally gets to the mission and is sorted out and THEN Mrs. Twin will receive the containers with her name on them.  But the reality is, she might have less children by that time.  The death rate is horribly high, and without a roof over their heads, the elements and sickness could very well take the life of some of her children, the very children that we placed baby dolls or trucks for… But if you let that be your focus, you can never do the work, you have to focus on what you CAN do.
 
On this very evening, I didn’t feel that I could be of more assistance to Noeline on this special sorting and packing for 3 needy families and I decided to do something else.
 
 I started to wash dishes and clean down the walls around the sink and stove.  Aside from all the items that are packed and stacked and pushed into this very small kitchen, there were all the items that Noeline has collected to decorate her little Irish cottage.  She LOVES “things” and has amazing collections of dish’s from her mother and things from her Granny.  She has a collection of all white pitchers, and dish’s and sugar containers, and creamers – everything in white.  She also LOVES blue and white and has numerous collections of this. She collects “Gnomes” and frogs and old cans, and all kinds of little knick-knacks.  She had built open shelves on all the walls (that didn’t have a cupboard or window on them.  So every surface, walls, shelves and cupboard is over flowing with her “collections” plus all the stuff for Ghana.  But I attempted to pull things out and wash them and make some order to this little room. As I did this she would see if she could part with some of “her stuff” to be given to Ghana.
 
Noeline has hopes that someday she could return to Africa.  She loves her country (but not the treatment of the major part of the population).  She once told me that she might be white on the outside, but she was black inside!  She wants to be with her people in Africa, but she has responsibilities in Ireland with her animals and her job (which she has been at for 25 years).  But she still holds on to the hope that she will be able to go back home and help some more –maybe when she retires, she said she’ll know when the time is right.  So until then, she works tirelessly to help from thousand of miles away….
 
Even though I was very reserved in my behavior on this Saturday, Noeline was her old self and she didn’t push me to be cheery.  I just kept washing and heating fresh water and washing and heating fresh water…it went on for the rest of the evening until I decided to go to bed.  I got my hot water bottle and went to my little stone house.
 
The next morning I had a whole different attitude.  And it wasn’t a happy one. 
I was mad.
 
 Mad that she didn’t talk to me at the time of the happening of the event- she has prided herself on being direct and having feelings of stone, when in the end it was a false facade. She isn’t so direct and she does hurt which is fine, but she didn’t have the balls to confront me, instead she let me feel her distance and I didn’t know that it was something I did. 
 
Mad that she avoided the phone when I was calling, rather then face what had happened.
 
Mad that I had shared myself with her, the person that I am- and knowing that, she felt that I still was judging her and her life.  She said that I said this and that – but I didn’t place judgment, I stated the facts. There is no heat, there is no hot water, I have to heat water for usage, and she was fixing me up with men.  They were all facts – not judgments.
 
Mad that she treated Sweet Mary so rudely.  If she was mad at ME – why take it out on Mary and the dog situation? But I also knew that Noeline felt that my family wasn’t “helping” as much as she thought they should.
 
But mostly I was mad that she embarrassed me in front of my cousin Mary.  She didn’t have to do it that way. It wasn’t fair to neither Mary nor me.  This is the one thing that I will not ever be able to forget- I will forgive, but forget, no.
 
I decided that I wouldn’t wait till Monday to leave.  It was just a hassle to try and get Mary to pick me up before Noeline goes to work, so I would call Teresa on this day and see of I could leave by 6PM or so.  I didn’t tell Noeline of my plans, I figured she made the decision that I was not able to live at her house during the week, so I was just doing as she asked.  Before I left the stone house in the morning I had packed up my stuff and put the room back to the way that she had it and was ready to leave when my ride came.
 
I went into the main house and started working on cleaning out a small closet and organized it with cleaning supplies and such. I was again in a very quite mood and felt that I too would not say how I was feeling to Noeline, not because I was going to play her game, but because I need to process feelings before I can confront someone.  I just needed some distance and then I would talk to her about it.  I DO KNOW THIS ABOUT ME. (My cousin Teresa said I was pouting – which I must admit that I was!) Noeline was trying to get me to interact with her more, and I feel that she was feeling differently about how the whole thing went down. 
 
 We cleaned out her dish cupboard and washed and re-organized her dish’s pulling out more things that she could send of her own stuff to Ghana.  It was a full day.
 
I found a few minutes during the day to get a call to Teresa about a ride and just before 6ish I went to my room and dragged out the small red monster and the other bags of my stuff.  I put it out by the gate and went back to work.  A few minutes later a helper of Noeline came and had dropped off some more stuff and Noeline had seen my bags.  She said, “I thought you were staying till Monday.” I said, “No, it would be easier for my family to get me tonight.” And that was the end.
 
At 6ish, Teresa and Mary came to collect me and Noeline came out to help me open the gate and she even helped with the bags.  I was relieved to be leaving- I had a lot of processing to do.
 
 
Kym

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