I’d Love It If We Beat Them, Just Love It

Park at the Cricket Ground, smell the willow, tales of Fabulous Freddie and Foxy Fowler. Young boy and girl so nervous, such a big crowd. Nervous laughter as boy is told that there will be more at OT than Chester get for a season.

Chips from Lou Macari’s. Manc scall in front tries to palm off a dodgy £20. Kids goggle-eyed as the lad legs it quick smart. Anyone any tips on talking about forgeries to a 7 and 9 year old?

Atmosphere in the ground is good, positive even. We are sat in the Stretford end, sorry West stand. What the flip is that all about? When and why? Pathetic.

England line-up as predicted. Turgid first half hour, Chester are better than this I cry. Get waved at from Messrs Lineker, Hansen and Wright. The highlight of the first half until Stevie G, the G-man, the G-clamp, the G-spot pirouettes his way to a penalty. That’s more like it, I’ve backed Becks and Lamps for the first goal, either one’ll do, happy days. Useless cockney lampost. How can anyone not score a penalty against some bloke who wears tracksuit bottoms from the value section from Tesco. “Sven out!” I cry.

Half time and semi-darkness. the kids get the glow sticks out. This is a problem bigger than any defensive-midfield quandary. Bloody hell fire. Kids lost in another world of unwrapping and snapping. Hargreaves on and first proper comment here. He is so very, very poor. Utter shit, can’t pass, can’t tackle I think it’s a German/Welsh conspiracy to infiltrate our ranks. I saw this fecker in portugal too, he’s really not very good.

My God, we come out possessed. Hargreaves for President, or King Owen if you like. Early goal for G-whizz from Becky Loos cross. She may not be able to sing but what a sweet right foot. Big cheers all round, not the kids of course, they missed it sorting out their bloody glow sticks. JT bags a second in no time at all, Ms Loos’ lover the provider once more. “Walking in a baby wonderland”….his Mrs has had twins and the FA make him play, it’s not right, get onto Fathers for Justice, he should get some paternity leave, it’s his right.

Hungary are still hungry, Owen H backs off like an Italian tank division, by jingo. Good goal from about 40 yards out. Kids miss this one too, Mexican wave distracts them for about half an hour. You just don’t get this at Chester, bloody gimmicky football stadiums.

Sven rings the changes, exit stage right for Owen (Michael), and G-willockus. If the former is anywhere near fit then so am I.

Crouch is a robotic revelation. Heading and passing and holding up like a footballer no less. No cheap shouts of freak here I can tell you. The boys a wonder not a blunder. He finishes with aplomb after Old King Cole wizardry. The dance is worth the admission money alone.

All in all, satisfactory. Carra did okay but can’t pass. Lamps had a good second half. My worry is we have plenty of plan b players, ie those who can come on and do a good job….Crouch,Lennon and Walcott but not enough plan a players. If only Wayners hadn’t been crocked by those nasty Chelsea boys, I blame Abramovich.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 31st, 2006 at 7:26 am and is filed under Travel. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.