Brian & Brooke vs. White Plains, NY

Brooke vs. White Plains

Being in New York, you really notice when the street is dirty. The sad part is how often I see people just tossing their trash wherever, whenever.

I looked out the window and saw a guy walking across the street with a plastic cup. When he was done drinking whatever was in it, he proceeded to drop the cup and kick it across the street. And that is where it stayed. I had to pause a second.

While walking towards the Brooklyn Bridge we were behind a couple of girls who nonchalantly wadded up a cigarette pack and tossed it straight down. It made my mind pause again.

The most disrespectful display to the environment was after walking back from Veneiro’s (cannoli!). There was a car sitting outside of a small shop on the street. The car was on, the window was cracked, and music was playing. Obviously, the person was only getting out for a few minutes. A man was walking towards the car with a paper bag. He threw the paper bag in the window. No big deal, its his car. He’s getting ready to get in it. No, no he wasn’t. He continued walking.

That guy threw his garbage in someone’s car!

I was complaining to Brian about this in the car. As I was doing so, I tore a small price tag off a drink and started wadding it up. I wasn’t even thinking, but when I interjected about the littering, I tossed it right out the window!

I felt so bad after that. It was this itty bitty piece of paper but I couldn’t help but think I was going to become a litterbug, too! I hope not.

Brooke vs. White Plains

…or how to organize your garbage?

Ours does. The other day the LANDLORD dropped off a letter to all the tenants on how to keep the apartment clean, and how to do the laundry. This brought me back to the first day we moved in. He brought us some dishes (it was listed as a furnished place) and immediately broke out some sponges to demonstrate the “right way” to wash the dishes. It’s so funny because half the stuff he provided was cheap junk (yes, we melted a plastic spoon already).

Oh, LANDLORD, you make life interesting… Just think how interesting it would have been if we lived in your condo for 17 days in August (we found out he doesn’t technically live in our building, but his gf does). Yes, in order to lease the apartment ASAP, he actually offered to have us live in his condo for 17 days next month. We were going to do it so we could save $500-$700 off our lease, but in the end, he found another way to accomodate the next tenant. WHEW. That could have been too weird.

I don’t know if its just a rare case, but I think the landlords in White Plains might be a little… off. Another person Brian works with has a very, very strange landlord. We’ve had a lot of landlords in the past, but they have always been laidback and out of our hair.

Brooke vs. White Plains

I have been a member of Bootsnall for about a year now. After so long, you kind of get a feel for someone, like you know them (even though its just through a message board). I know, sounds kinda creepy making friends on message boards, huh? But, I’ll tell you what, Brian and I went out for a pubcrawl dealy with some of these peeps a few weekends ago in NYC and had a great time!

pictures courtesy of BostonBill:

Brian vs. White Plains

So, from day one, my landlord’s been a bit crazy. I should have known when I first talked to him that something was a little off, but in my hurry to get a furnished apartment with a 3 month lease in NY I ignored what should have been the warning signs.

Chef “Billy” as we call him, informed me early on that he lived in the building, too. Keep in mind that this is a house-apartment, not some big apartment complex. In other words, this guy lives a little too close for comfort (especially considering what I’m about to tell you next).

I didn’t think too much of it at first, but Brooke definitely thought he came off strange on our first encounter. We just moved in and the cable guy arrived to hook up our internet. As he was doing so, Chef Billy came in and told us to slip him a couple bucks so we can get free cable TV. I guess he said this was normal around these parts, but we just couldn’t do it.

One day after work, I think I was taking the garbage out, I saw the landlord and his woman (mail order?) hanging out on their balcony. He asked me if I was from Brooklyn. His woman, apparently not understanding English very well, thought he was referring to his beer; I suspect he was referring to my wifebeater. Regardless, I wound up taking a fresh 6 pack of Brooklyn Brewery’s East India Ale home with me. At the time I thought he was just being a good guy; now I’m not so sure.

Not too long after, just a matter of days, Chef Billy gives me a call to see how I’m doing, only he decided to call me at 1 am… wasted. We were just getting home from the bars, walking to our door when the phone rang. I took one look at the caller ID and decided I probably shouldn’t pick this one up – it just couldn’t be anything good when your landlord is calling you in the wee hours of the night. A few moments later the phone is ringing again; It turns out he decided to leave me a message. It went a little like this, slurred speech and all:

“Hey Brian… Uhmm, I can see you’re not home right now, but I’m just calling to see what you want to do about the money I owe you. It’s in my pocket.”

Red Light, Red Light! “Uhmm, I can see you’re not home right now…”?! Are you serious? Let’s just say it was a bit awkward dealing with him face-to-face the following day.

Nothing too crazy has happened since, except for him adding me to his chain email list, but I’ll let that slide (there were only a total of 5 people on that list). I still can’t get past how Landlord would think that calling a tenant in the middle of the night, drunk, would seem like a good idea… It’s just too weird!

Brooke vs. White Plains

White Plains reminds me a lot of Italy. No, its not because of the overwhelming amount of Italian restaurants or high end shops that bring back memories. It’s because of the guys and their inability to keep anything to themselves.

So far, I have been honked at, stared at, holla-ed at, and there was also someone who decided to yell out the window something about my ass. It never fails. EACH time I walk into town on my own, or even with Brian, there are multiple incidents. Bums, especially, love me. This one in particular wasn’t really paying attention and started off, “Hey, there pretty lady,” with a smile and a sing-songy tone when I was spotted. Just then, Brian passed in his line of vision, so he cut out to a deep and short, “Oh! Hey, dude.”

Of course that was hilarious, so we all three started laughing. “You didn’t see me there, did you man,” Brian added. I like how we can all kid around about that – us and the bum.

Another funny part is that Brian, too, has been yelled and honked at by girls. So, it is not just the guys that contribute to this behavior in this town.

Of all these incidents, I must say that BoomBox Guy takes the cake. I was walking to meet Brian in town and behind a bush on a street corner he emerged in all his glory – BoomBox Guy. His posture was loose, and yes, I think he was strutting. His clothes were baggy and falling off his behind, and there it was in wonderful 80s style… the boombox on the shoulder.

I was kind of taken aback at that moment. I mean, I’ve seen a good Fresh Prince or two, but never have I seen someone actually walking around town with a boombox on their shoulder. It was almost… surreal.

“Hurry, hurry, look away!” I had to tell myself as I walked past him. The key is to not make eye contact (or is it? I guess I look away all the time and still get hit on). BoomBox Guy stopped in his tracks, and he either had a speech impediment or hurt himself trying to think, but all he uttered was one strong, deep, “Uuuhhhh!”

How’s that for pickup lines?