Tree Prose

Just in case you were thinking somehow I was getting away with something, being in a paradisical setting with “myself”, let this message set you straight.

Visa runs, hahahaha! that whole idea gets really funny in a moment, are a new thing in Thailand. When I was here four years ago, you simply took the passport to the nearest ‘travel agency’, dropped it off, paid $36 or so and three days later, it returned with a stamp on it, which the Thai government received as valid upon exiting the country…believe it or not. About this process, I never asked many questions. Just said a little blessing over the passport beforehand and prayed it’d get back to me.

When I was preparing for this trip, I didn’t either have enough time, or think it was necessary to send my passport to the thai consulate to get a legitimate visa. This caused loads of trouble at the airport, which was finally worked out. Upon arrival I received a 30-day tourist visa. As soon as I got to Koh Phangan, I realized the visa situation was more complicated and that I would have to make a trip to Penang, Malaysia every 3 months to get a new one.

30 days is almost up! Pi-pat suggested I travel to Surrathani, meet up with Pi-Mem, have dinner, etc. Mem has a travel agency in Surrathani where I could catch the mini-bus to Penang, get a new visa, travel back to Surrathani and then fly to BKK to meet up with Maggie, to Koh Samui on a plane and then a boat back to Koh Phangan in time to celebrate the New Year.

I started the trip on Christmas Eve. Saddened by the reality that neither would I be with my family that evening, nor with my friends on the island, I settled on the idea that I would spend the evening with Mem and celebrate in each moment. After a three-hour boat ride, I arrived in the port town and met up with Mem. She took me straight to a hotel room, which was both sufficiently cheap and comfortable. She promised to wait for me downstairs and said we’d go to the department store to pick up a few things and then have dinner. “Thai dept. store,” I thought…”interesting”. So we headed to Big C or Mixie, I never quite made out what she was calling it and before my eyes was none other than Thailand’s version of Target. For those of you who have any doubts, I loathe Target.

Next she asked, “should go eat together”, “of course, of course”, I said. She said, “you are a vegetarian, right?”. I said, (sticking to this idea that, while in a foreign country one should receive in the tradition, including food that is most common) “I like to eat vegetables, but really, I love to try new food and am happy to eat wherever you would enjoy”…oh how i wish i could take those words back! we stopped at two street vendors, ate noodles both times, and as my mouth was burning off from the curry, and the piece of chicken liver was floating in my bowl, I was thinking, this is going to be bad tomorrow….very bad…

The next day, Christmas day that is, I woke up at 5am, called The family, arranged for a time to speak with everyone together and got on the minibus headed to Penang. One minibus, took me to another minibus, where oddly enough I was the only passenger to de-bus and take a new bus. Then to Hat Yai, where I, and again, only I got off the bus and switched again. I was trusting the entire time that the reason I was being whisked one bus to another, was because Mem made it clear that I was to arrive before the Visa offices closed, which I indeed did.

But I also, never stopped to eat. So while I was being whisked around, my stomach was growling, and churning and each time the bus stopped to get gas, I ran to the restroom and…I’ll leave the rest of that up to your imagination, but I think some people call it Montezuma’s revenge. Why is Montezuma so angry anyways?

Finally, the bus driver, on seeing my face in sheer agony, offered me his BBQ flavored crisps, Christmas Dinner? I received them and bowed to him numerous times to show gratitude. We took the bus on a ferry and made it over to Penang, where the very kind bus driver dropped me off at the visa office. Took care of the payment, paperwork, etc. for the visa, found a guest house and a couple of buddies from the bus and we headed out to eat…at this point my gutts were wrenched, I was sweating…and they agreed on Indian…

I tried to eat but after the first few bites realized the curried veggies weren’t going down my throat. So I had some water and bee-lined it back to my room. Up every hour, until 4:30a when the Immodium I took decided not to sit either and…I was a real mess! Finally, I ran over to 7/11…thank god for that place…got a bottle of water and a loaf of white bread. I sat in my room for an hour or so and ate one piece.

THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL…Was feeling stable enough this morning to have cereal. Found a new room, slept until 2p and just woke and had porridge. The good news is, the Mom in charge of this house, is as kind and understanding as possible and her love is already warming my heart and putting a smile enough on my face to allow me to retell this story with a little humor.

Oh, did I mention that somewhere along the way, someone reached down in my bag and stole my international cellphone. Don’t worry (mama) I will get a new one as soon as I get back to BKK…good news is, I had a thai SIM card and not the International one in the phone. So the international cell number and account is still legit.

Merry, Merry Christmas from Malaysia!

I really do hope yours was full of yummy food, good family and lots of laughter!

With so much love to each of you,
Tiff