Tree Prose

Maggie is going to pull my hair out…at least that’s what she told the guy sitting next to us at the internet cafe this morning. This is the first time we have ever spent this much time together, just us. She keeps saying, “God I want to call your sister and tell her I have compassion for her”…Maggie is an only child and very use to getting her way:) I am not an only child but just don’t usually do what others want me to do and usually only do what I want to do…Doesn’t make planning for four months of traveling very easy.

In my house when anything is uncertain, they use my name as an adjective to refer to the uncertainty of it…for instance if it looks like it is going to rain, but no one is quite sure, they say, “oh this is a tiff rain”…

It has to do with being at the crossroads that I mentioned in the last blog. The good news is that in my time at Agama, I learned a very useful trick called consecration. In simple terms, you learn what it feels like to experience the connection between your intuitive, higher mind and your heart. Then you can ask a question and more often than not, receive a felt experience, which carries with it an answer. Essentially tapping into the idea that our subconscious holds all of the knowledge/wisdom of the universe.

When we first start practicing this, we try it with simple things. Like consecrating the fruits of actions to the ‘divine’ or the fruits of a meal…when the felt sensation of consecration becomes familiar, you can start to ask questions.

A few days ago it came to my attention that the Dalai Lama is coming to town to celebrate his birthday on the 6th of July and to offer one week of teachings. Maggie and I planned on leaving McLeod on the 22nd of June. She is traveling around Europe and I was going to tuck away in Viareggio, Italy. But with this opportunity to learn from the Dalai Lama, I started brainstorming what it was I really wanted to do. At one point I decided to sit down and meditate and then consecrate to understand what my deepest heart was really wanting. The answer was immediately to stay.

Somehow, even though I knew this is what my heart really wanted, part of me wanted to chuck the possibilities of the experience, and go have fun with Maggie. So for several days I went back and forth. Unfortunately, every time I changed my mind I told Maggie. One moment she was overjoyed we’d be traveling together…and the next, disappointed.

This morning I went on a walk to Tushita Monastery where the westerners interested in Tibetan Buddhism go to study. Several years ago I started looking in to this monastery because of a link with another program I was interested in. Anyway, a beautiful walk through the woods led me to the reception office. I inquired about the Introduction to Buddhism course that begins on the 26th of June and goes through the 5th of July. The program is in silence, but includes teachings on all sorts of Tibetan Buddhist Philosophy, tradition, etc. and 2 days of meditation…room and board too. I decided to sign up.

Then I had to go tell Mags. That’s when she made the comment about pulling out my hair! (it would be kharmic from the time I pulled a chunk out of my sis’) but peace prevails. I think she is just happy that I made a freakin’ decision and even more so that I am following my heart.

To Friendship!

love,
tiff

P.S. While my love for learning the Dharma is deep, my love for Italy is oceanic! I changed my ticket and will meet Maggie in Rome on the 14 of July. Of course one can’t forgo the fun altogether!

Good afternoon,

It is Sunday here…raining, cool, quiet. In my last blog I mentioned that we are now in McLeod Ganj, India, the home of the Dalai Lama and Tibetans in exile. The town has such a unique feeling. The presence of numerous monks and nuns in their maroon and yellow robes walking the 2 main streets are, for me, a constant reminder of the sacredness of life. Many of them (the monks especially) seem to be salivating from exposure to the west, sporting cellphones, designer sneakers and sunglasses and can be seen chatting on IM at the internet cafes. In fact I am surrounded on both sides by them now. On the other hand, some are clearly aspiring to the ‘highest’ states of life and one glimpse or smile from these rare beings can change your attitude in an instant.

Maggie and I have walked around the Dalai Lama’s temple several times, turning the prayer wheels, admiring the monks walking arm-in-arm, offering rupees to the beggars along the path, and witnessing the debate process in the temple courtyard between young monks, their colleagues and teachers. An old tradition that is not audibly understandable by either of us, as it is all in Tibetan, is fascinating to see. One monk sits while the other stands. The standing monk is challenging the sitting monk on his knowledge of which ever text they are studying at the time. The point of the ritual, according to a book I am reading, is that eventually, the information gets so ingrained in their subconscious that the truth of the words is able to be experienced…creating a deeper awakening.

I picked up Mantras and Misdemeanors by Vanessa Walker in Bangkok. If you are curious about the current Tibetan ‘situation’, it is worth the read. Describes brilliantly life in Mcleod…and the disconcerting position that young Tibetans are in…stuck between wanting desperately to go home and live life as it was…before the chinese invasion (1949-50), relatively secluded, protected and able to study and practice Buddhism according to tradition…And wanting to disrobe, marry western women and discover what “developed” life may be like.

Please excuse this ridiculously simplified version of the issues at hand. The Tibetan culture, religion, history is at a desperate crossroads, which in my opinion affects the world. Tibet, and the Dalai Lama’s insistent effort, represents one of the few remaining symbols that non-violence is the best way to solve issues.

And since I have been here, my own little internal debate has re-surfaced…what to do? Be a woman in business or a yogini? But beautifully enough, this time, I see the possibilities of playing both of these passions out together. What I have learned, perhaps because of the patience reflected in so many around me, is that the habit of projecting these pathways into the future with the hopes of realizing that one is better than the other, or closer to my heart, is useless. Instead, if I stay right here, right now and think of a way to move slowly, slowly towards the things I am most ‘moved’ by, time/life will reveal the possibilities of their co-existence. Maggie reminded me this morning that it isn’t about that moment in the future when ‘I arrive’, but about each day and each opportunity that comes along the way.

So while I can’t answer the question, what will I be doing in 5 years? or even in 6 months? I can say that each day I am more fully experiencing life, closer to meeting my purpose and dreaming into the future with more color and clarity.

Perhaps we hang out at some kind of crossroads forever. Somewhere between internal and external, giving and receiving, love and hate and that this is, as Gangaji would say, “the weathering of the mind”, which eventually points us to our truest self, our truest experience of god or love or peace or one.

I rest in knowing that we are here, at this crossroads together.

Love,
Tiff

From the last time I wrote until 2 weeks ago, I have experienced some of the most intense learning and growth of my life...as a result of the yoga practice and mostly in regards to relationship, with myself, women and ... [Continue reading this entry]