Pamela
Last year I had met a woman in Nairobi during my first visit and we went to dinner and hung out each time I traveled through that city with a major hub of an airport. I told her I would come back to Nairobi although at the time I did not know if I would return to Africa anytime soon. When I decided to go to Madagascar, I decided it would be the right time to plan an extended visit to Kenya which I had only visited for Nairobi and Masai Mara NP last year. I also decided that I would invite Pamela and two friends from Tanzania and use a guide that I had met last year. I thought I was being real cute mixing a bunch of people from different tribes so that I could kick back and watch. I also thought it would be amazing to watch Africans see more of Africa than their normal lives allow. Understand that the average African rarely leaves their local area and few get to enjoy a vacation or seeing the wildlife for which Westerners flock to their continent. Our guide is Masai, Pamela is Meru, Albert and his daughter, Ayanna, is one of the 135 tribes in Tanzania the name of which now escapes me. Also, we had one Meru driver, another driver who is Kikuyu and we met people from a number of the aproximately 47 tribes in Kenya. What I did not understand about my socialogical experiment is that I would fall in love with my friend, Pam.
Pamela is from the Meru district and tribe of Kenya located near Mt Kenya. It is an equatorial highland forest area that is now mostly small farms. They specialize in tee, coffee, fruits like mangoes, papaya and passion fruit, and vegetables like potatoes, arrow root, yams and carrots. Pamela’s grandfather, Benji, is still living well into his 80s and I met him while he was harvesting tea leaves with other relatives. Benji’s TWO wives are also living. All live on the property that has now been subdivided between the family members including Pamela’s father, Riungu. In fact, there are something like four hundred family members in the area. Although Meru is only about three hours north of Nairobi, it is worlds apart. The roads are rough, red-dirt tracks that I cannot imagine being passable during the rainy season (luckily, Kenyas short rains started after we had visited). Riungu and Idah, Pam’s mother, are school teachers although Riungu is now retired due to state rules for 55 year olds. Pamela’s older brother, Kingford, is also a school teacher and he is married with one infant buy named Mark who I call Big Eyes due to his giant peepers. They live a few kilometers away at the school where he teaches. Paula, King’s wife, is an accountant. Both of Pamela’s sisters, Betty the older and Lendsy (“Lansy”) the younger, live in Nairobi where they are a nurse and auto sales manager, respectively. All of the Riungu family received me amazingly well. When we started to plan the trip in June, it sounded like a great idea to visit Pamela’s family since I had heard so much about them. Then as the time approached, I realized that this was a bad idea and figured they would either hate me or wonder when the wedding would take place. As best as I can determine, they liked and respected me a lot, appreciated that Pamela has someone in her life and probably wonder where this oddball relation will go.
Oh yes, I forgot one other family member. Pamela has a five year old son named Beckham (named after you know who). He is about to start learning English at school so I had no conversations with him, but he is a remarkable young boy who is smart, serious and funny. We bought his first bike in Nairobi and he was quite happy with that. He asked Pamela a few questions about Mzungu (white foreigner)! Riungu’s property is a nice, comfortable home with chickens, cows and goats in the back and surrounded by lush, green plantings and trees. The mornings are cool and misty and the days get warm due to the equatorial sun. It is some of the most beautiful farmland I have seen especially in a “bowl” down the hill that is filled with tea plants. It is a good place for Beckham to grow up.
On paper, Pam and I do not go together. Let’s see, she is 27 years old, tall, slim and Kenyan. But we are remarkably good together which was proven over three weeks of travel, a visit to her family’s home and some adversity with the travel plans (which will be covered in another entry). Pamela’s family is very Christian yet like most Africans they still retain some local beliefs like curses. Let’s just say that I am a lot less active Christianity-wise and I scoff at each of the local beliefs. An average Kenyan’s world is Kenya and more focused on their local area. They are very active in politics which was a major topic since presidential elections are coming up December 27. Many Kenyans are well-educated yet they realy do not know a lot about the rest of the world including their neighbor countries or even all of the peoples in Kenya. Pamela and I have almost nothing in common from a world perspective on history, arts or culture. For instance, when I brought up that the queen would be in Uganda, she asked “which queen”. That was a funny moment that I will never forget. Another one was a discussion about the Beatles and Pam thought I was talking about beetles making sounds. We have since started some John, Paul, George and Ringo lessons and, believe me, Pamela has her hands full teaching me Kenyan stuff. Not only is there a generation gap, but there is a cultural chasm as well. We were looking at an owl one day when Pamela told me that bad things come to the household when an owl shows up and they kill them. I went nuts explaining that owls are the best bird a farm could ever have and that a lot of people install owl boxes to attract them because they are good. We confirmed this damn owl belief with a farmer in Uganda. Let me guess… an owl showed up on some African property centuries ago and soon thereafter something bad happened and the poor owl has been blamed ever since. The total lack of questioning of stupid beliefs like this onem drives me crazy, but I also know this is Africa and I have to somehow not let it drive me crazy.
Pamela is one of the most genuine, trusting, insightful, pragmatic and caring people that I know. We somehow click together and I think it is because we trust and respect each other as well as each other’s weaknesses are the other’s strengths. I think we also enjoy our differences (except the owl kind of stuff!!!). We certainly laugh a lot together and I believe that is a hallmark of a good relationship. I told her that I was starting to care for her a lot and she told me that she felt the same way the first time we met. I admit I am a brick and I didn’t understand this. She apparently was awaiting my return to Kenya and I think her family questioned her faith. The best moments with Pam were when she was with other people. I especially liked watching her with the primitive tribal people called the Samburu (pastoralists from Northern Kenya) and Masai (near Tanzania) and with children. She is a very good mother and very kind with other people. Children seem to be drawn to her probably due to her big inviting smile. Pamela had more new experiences in the past three weeks than most people have in years. She saw what other Kenyans looked like, how they live, orphanages, the good and the bad of Africa, many different animals and landscapes, flew on a plane for the first times, left her country for the first time, saw and heard the ocean, walked on a sandy beach, swam and was scared silly by a troop of chimpanzees. She ate things she had never heard of including foie gras at a very fancy restaurant in Kampala. I think she enjoyed all of it even if her head was spinning a bit. I know one of the best things on my whole trip was sharing new experiences with her and seeing her reaction to them.
After Congo in January and Cameroon in February, I will be flying back to Nairobi. I plan to stay in Kenya not so much as a tourist for a bit to see how things go. Pamela and I have some major issues to get through for the long-term which may not be solvable although we both agreed not to worry about those and just see how it goes. First, I decided my trip will go on even if I get stuck in Kenya for a bit. We are hoping Pam might be able to join me for some countries depending on visa issues. I am sure the visa issue is a big one just to get her to be able to come to the States. I really don’t think Pamela would like the States because her family is so good and part of her life. As far as me living in Kenya or Africa in general, I am just not sure. I do love it here, but it is another leap to actually live here. Time will tell. This is all certainly a new twist in life that was unexpected, but very good. We’ll just keep being honest with each other and see where it all leads.
Tags: Africa, kenya, Travel
vagabondrick
This is a wonderful entry to read. I agree, if the two of you are “meant to be” the rest will eventually be worked out!
There is a series of books by an author, Corinne Hofmann that reminds me so much of the situation in which you find yourself. When you can get a copy, you should read The White Masai followed by Reunion in Barsaloi and Back From AFrica. Just be happy….life should be shared with someone special.
Rick
She sounds perfect, who cares about the queen or some singing scousers (liverpudlians) but her son is called Beckham – fantastic !! If he supports Manchester United – even better, she’s a keeper !!
Seriously though it’s great you have found someone special to share Africa with, who knows where it will go in the future, but these experiences should always be shared with someone special.
Keep on having a great time, it’s great to hear from you.
Ben