The Moped Diaries

We are now in Brazil (a coastal town called Parity) and are facing the last leg of our overland trip to Rio. Dulcie´s spanish is now coming automatically which is a shame because the language is now Portuguese.

Unfortunately I have to report that my thermarest mat has (literally) let me down! We accidentally pitched our tent on a thorny twig las week which managed to penetrate the ground sheet, the bottom of the tent and the mat. This meant that during the night I was gently lowered to the ground as the thing deflated and I awoke wondering why we were on such an uncomfortable camp site (and then leant on it puncturing the top side of the mat and my hand!). We´ve tried several repairs (on the mat – not my hand) but not even the mighty gaffer tape has managed to stem the escaping air and each night I feel let down!

We went sea kayaking today and within two minutes we´d tipped the boat over (all my fault of course – nothing to do with a wave). We then managed to get it stuck in a mangrove swamp. All in all a fun day!

When in Buenos Aires what else should you do but join in the national pass time and watch some “futbol”? So we got tickets to watch Boca Juniors (Maradona´s old team) play Atletico Argentinos. Fortunately I was wearing my red hat as we ended up in the Atlectico supporter´s end (all red) instead of the Boca end (all blue). Not only did this secure our safety but the old man next to me assumed I was a die hard supporter and talked to me in Spanish throuhout the game. I didn´t understand much of what he said as our guide explained to us after most of it was swear words. The “Hand of God” was not with Boca and “we” won 3-2 complete with over the top, South American celebrations (drum bands, giant flags, smoke bombs etc.).

We leave Buenos Aires tomorrow for 11 (!!!) night´s camping and then it´s Rio.

We have now passed the southern most point of our trip and are now heading north. To say it was a little nippy in southern Patagonia is putting it mildly. The other morning I woke up and turned on my torch to be greeted by a sparkly display. Very pretty but very cold – the inside of the tent had frozen up! I also realised we had overslept as the two wooly hats I was wearing prevented me from hearing my alarm clock. But we have survived and the scenery was definitley worth it. Here´s us at the Torres Del Paine (Towers of Pain) aptly named as Dulcie´s decent from this view point was mostly on her backside accompanied by a mini avalanche.

We are currently whale watching in Puerto Madryn (we can see the whales from the beach!) and our next stop will be Buenos Aires if we can defrost the tent.

After a generous sample of the guide´s cognac, Robert effortlessly demonstrates the little known “head first” technique of snowshoeing…

Dulcie, however, favoured the more traditional “upright” posture and was first back to the lodge to take first place in the “speed eating” competition during the chocolate fondue.

I´ve decided to forgive Argentina for all the footballing attrocities of the past because I have tasted my first Argentinian steak. I knew we were in for a treat when the cutlery in the restaurant resembled Rambo´s hunting knife and the centre of the restaurant was like a butchers shop. I ordered the most expensive steak on the menu (30 pesos – about five quid) and was served the hugest steak ever which was accompanied by two more steaks – delicious. We also discovered how to insult Argentinians; for a mild insult, ask for your steak well done (as per Dulcie), but to really annoy them, say you´re vegetarian.

Our efforts to leave Chile and continue our journey have been thwarted by the bad weather in the mountains. We set off yesterday through the snow but a few miles after we had labouriously fitted the snow chains our truck was sideways on the road and at severe risk of falling off a cliff.

Whilst waiting to be pulled out by the snow plough…..

we took refuge at a Chilean police checkpoint where the nice Chilean policeman had a lovely fire in their office. Unfortunately the nice Chilean policemen were miserable sods and wouldn´t let us in (something about dripping on the floor). They very kindly let us shelter outside in the three foot deep snow and sub-zero temperatures next to an abandoned border control building. We peered through the windows of this building and saw seats and an old wood burning stove. The temptation was too much and after picking locks, rearranging walls and selecting the smallest member of our group to fit through the hole we were inside making a fire.

Fortunately the police were too lazy to investigate the plume of smoke and steam rising from the old chimney and we escaped arrest in comfort until we were rescued several hours later. So now we are stuck in Chile (in a very nice holiday resort called Pucon) and will be attempting another border crossing into Argentina tomorrow in four wheel drive vehicles.

We are now in Chile and it´s quite a change from the pan-pipes and poverty of Ecuador, Peru and Bolivia. Chile is a surprisingly affluent country complete with shopping malls, SUVs and obesity (and vineyards – excellent wine tasting tours!!) After a couple of days to warm ourselves in the dessert we have headed South where the countryside of rolling green hills covered with grazing cows looks just like England: unfortunately so does the weather as it is currently peeing it down and cold (we can´t complain as apart from the odd shower in Ecuador and the obvious rain in the rainforest this is the first serious rain we´ve encountered in two months). We´re nipping into Argentina to visit a ski resort in the next few days before heading further South to the dreaded Patagonia where we´ve been warned it gets REALLY cold (I´ll be wearing my sleeping bag under my clothes).

Death Road picture now posted below……….

Our favourite pin-up tour guides, Miss June and Miss July, get dirty and grease their nipples…

One of the things I´ve got away with whilst on this trip (much to Dulcie´s distaste) is not shaving. Due to the occaisionally difficult living conditions I´ve sometimes gone longer without shaving than before puberty. I hoped this would give me a cool, stubbly George Micheal / 80´s Miami Vice image but to my horror I have discovered that my beard is almost entirely white! Not only have I missed the cool stage but I appear to have even skipped the ZZ Top phase and gone straight to Santa Claus. At least I might be able to get some seasonal work in a department store over Christmas.

Here´s a picture of the toilet facilities in our last camp in the middle of the Atacama desert. Primitive!