The Moped Diaries

Have you ever met someone who is so perfect you could happily kill them? There´s an American guy at our Spanish school who came over to chat with us and appeared very charismatic and witty (and good looking so Dulcie tells me). It turns out he has a masters degree in Electrical Engineering (well I can match that) but he didn´t find that fulfilling enough so he studied medicine and became a doctor. He´s here in Ecuador to brush up on his (already fluent) Spanish because in a couple of months he´s going to work in the Amazon treating tropical diseases. His hobbies include wood carving and (before any of you ladies start begging for his email address) he is now dating his beautiful latino Spanish teacher. Next week he´ll probably pull his Y-fronts over his trousers and fly off to Iraq to save the world. If I didn´t like him so much, I´d kill him.

We had our first hiking expedition this weekend with a 2 day trip into the Andes. The guide was bi-lingual, unfortunately, neither of his two languages appeared to be English so it was more extreme Spanish.

Day One – Cotopaxi Volcano Climb
I should have known we were in for trouble when I noticed that the enormous SUV that the guide picked us up in had an altimeter on the dashboard. My fears were confirmed when (after an hour of bum-numbing driving along roads that weren´t even worthy of the title “dirt track”) we arrived at the foot of the volcano and the altimeter was reading off the scale.

Ascending the volcano is easy. After putting on every item of clothing you´ve brought with you (it´s cold) you ascend by taking 5 steps up, 3 steps sliding back down the volcanic ash, get double vision, go all whoozy (as if you stood up too fast), gasp for air, rest for 2 minutes and repeat, all while the guide watches on giving words of encouragement. After a few million repititions we finally made it to “the refuge” at 4,800 meters. This is where the nutters who plan to make it to the summit spend the night and it was high enough for us. I was glad to see, however, that the guide (who had lost count of the number of times he´d been to the summit) was out of breath on the last stretch. Then again, he was carrying me.

Day Two – Quilota Crater Lake
We descended a steep path into a huge volcano crater which is now a lake (spectacular!). On the climb back out the guide refused to carry us this time so we decided to hire some local transport. Unfortunately, all the llamas were taken so we were left with a donkey and a mule. Dulcie insisted on having the mule (it looked a little stronger) so I was left with the donkey. It handled quite well despite the lack of a saddle, until we reached a steep bit and I nearly disappeared off the back end. It also had a nasty habit of backfiring – very unpleasant for Dulcie following behind me on the mule.

Here´s a picture Dulcie took of me clinging on while I try and overtake a herd of sheep.

We appear to have signed up for the osmosis Spanish course. Basically, Spanish is spoken at us and all around us [including the t.v. being on the local channel all the time] and we are expected to absorb this ... [Continue reading this entry]

Mr & Mrs Cobo (the old couple we are staying with) are delightful. Mrs Cobo´s sole purpose in life appears to be feeding us (Dulcie feels as if she is being fattened up for some impending local ritual which ... [Continue reading this entry]

For 25 cents in Quito you get to experience the ultimate thrill ride, known locally (and deceptively) as El Bus. This white knuckle adventure will be forever linked in my brain with intense BO, sardines and pure fear!! ... [Continue reading this entry]

We´ve arrived in Ecuador in one piece although our luggage took a bit of a beating (I think American Airlines dragged my bag down the runway on landing to kill the speed). Quito is a lovely city which has ... [Continue reading this entry]

The laws of relativity state that the fabric of space-time can only be warped by extremely large objects such as planets and stars. Dulcie and her bag, however, have joined the ranks of Dr. Who and his Tardis in ... [Continue reading this entry]

The cardboard boxes have arrived and it’s now time to prepare for final departure and vacate the apartment. To assist with the packing, Dulcie carefully split her shoe collection into three neat piles; ones for taking to South America ... [Continue reading this entry]