Who Do We Trust?
Trust is a double edged sword. It may slay us on the outside. But too much caution may slay us on the inside. Keeping our lens clear is how we know the difference between the two at any one moment. I think. For me, meditation is what clears my lens.
One of my favorite former Couchsurfers posted this reflective piece on Facebook this morning. It not only relates to reading between the lines of a Couchsurfng profile but the whole host/surfing experience…not only to pre and post hosting/surfing communication but in deciding who to vouch.
I think in the matter of trust it also illustrates that it is not only good for surfers to have hosted but that it is good for hosts to have traveled.
And I thought it worth sharing in the interest of knowing who to trust, especially when we are traveling solo, and in life generally.
Who Do You Trust?
I spoke to him only once, over the phone. Immediately I know he’s not the right fit. There were of course other red flags that followed. I never even met him. Turned out I was right. About the only thing he delivered were excuses and drama…
I think there’s a difference between snap judgements and intuition. Intuition comes from experience and expertise. I don’t claim to be an expert in human interaction. I would like to believe I pay a lot of attention, at least in the first instance.
I pay attention to the space between words, the pitch and pace in which they were delivered. The silence. The awkward pause when asked a question, the breathing or breathlessness. The choice of words. I pay as much attention to how things were said not only to what was said. Heck, I even pay attention to the time and timing of a conversation.
It is partly learned from survival, travelling. When you’re a woman, travelling alone, finding your way in unfamiliar places, amongst strangers and foreign languages, you tune in. You pay attention. You keep your eyes and ears wide open.
All the things we take for granted day to day, from home to work and back to home… we become de-sensitised, immune to nuances, develop blind spots – all of which suddenly become salient when our safety, security and survival are at risk. It happens when you travel. It’s part of the adventure and learning experience.
So when you come back to that mundanity of day to day, you come back with a sharpened lens. Some details no longer escape attention.
It is good to open ourselves up to the wonderful strangers who have a lot to add in our lives. Without trust and openness, we miss out on magical serendipities and delicious randomness life has to offer. It is about being able to know who to trust. It starts with curiosity, interest and then paying attention to as much detail that we could observe, everything we could hear and see and feel.
So “who do you trust?”. Once the lenses are sharper, we know we can make the right judgement. At least, more often than not.
Thanks Rona
Tags: Couchsurfing, Reflections, Travel Tips
Zoe
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